You vs Muggers

[Heloin]

Or more likely, I die and everyone thinks I'm a moron.

Why am I talking like Elmer Fudd?

I don't know, this is a very poor attempt on my part to imitate the accent in the video link you posted about a South African accent

I've never more quickly gone from confused at something to thinking I should feel offended in some way. The problem is I'm still to baffled too be offended.

[Western Vale Confederacy]

I checked my wallet to see what the muggers would be taking and really the most valuable things in there would be my Library card and a Books-A-Million membership card. I'm not seeing risking my life over these things as a good idea.

but if you managed to fight them off, you'd get to brag about it at your park ranger job and gain TONS of points

you'd get to talk about it the next time you check fishing licenses

"I'm WON-ing you. Don't scROO win me. I've tay-Ken out three MOO-gahs before so you can w-AYE-jah I'm nAUGHTt intimidated by your ilk. NOW GET OFF THIS PROP'-Tee now!"

What the fu—?

[Infected Mushroom]

I don't know, this is a very poor attempt on my part to imitate the accent in the video link you posted about a South African accent

I've never more quickly gone from confused at something to thinking I should feel offended in some way. The problem is I'm still to baffled too be offended.

(raises hand solemnly*)

My lady if I have offended you I apologise

[Olthar]

First of all, I don't have a credit card. Secondly, I don't collect Yu-Gi-Oh! cards. Third, I don't walk around with 3,000 in cash. Fourth, if I were walking home, I would avoid the shady side of town and stick to the main streets. Fifth, if I have enough money to just carry 3,000 on my person, I'd have a car and wouldn't even be in this situation in the first place.

[Rea]

$3k isnt just pocket change. On my income that's money I desperately need. I'm going to run, or at least go down fighting in the hopes that I'll attract attention or these guys will think it's too much trouble to get what I have.

[Thermodolia]

I probably wouldn't recommend fighting even if they didn't have knives tbh.
It's funny, I was having this discussion with some mates at work a couple days ago.

It's all well and good being trained in self defense, but a lot of self defense training in done in controlled environments. The real world is a lot messier, nothing like the movies. It should absolutely be a last resort. Even if it will work 9 times out of 10, that 1 is gonna get you seriously fucked up.

Hand to hand combat training isn’t self defense though

[Caracasus]

In this thread: people who have zero idea how violence or fighting works in the real world.

Always, always hand over your wallet in this scenario. Any self defense or martial arts instructor worth their pay will tell you exactly the same.

[Internationalist Bastard]

Jokes on you I wanna die

[Uinted Communist of Africa]

Jokes on you I wanna die

I was going to respond to the Thread but this took the cake.

[Thermodolia]

Your wallet contains your healthcare card, credit card, ID card,

Ok pretty standard. Nothing that can’t be replaced. Though I have a DR license instead of an ID card.

about 3,000 USD cash,

What? Fuck that. I don’t carry more than a buck.

some photos of people special to you

What am I a grandfather?

an unopened RP pack for a video game, and an Ultra-rare shiny Blue Eyes White Dragon TCG card in card protector.

What the hell is that shit?

[Caracasus]

Jokes on you I wanna die

Secret option number 3. Tell them you're way too tired to fight cos you've been up all night nobbing their mums.

[Internationalist Bastard]

Jokes on you I wanna die

Secret option number 3. Tell them you're way too tired to fight cos you've been up all night nobbing their mums.

T pose as they stab me

[Free Arabian Nation]

Secret option number 3. Tell them you're way too tired to fight cos you've been up all night nobbing their mums.

T pose as they stab me

You won't die then, they'll be too afraid to do anything.

[Internationalist Bastard]

T pose as they stab me

You won't die then, they'll be too afraid to do anything.

Fuck

[Heloin]

Jokes on you I wanna die

Secret option number 3. Tell them you're way too tired to fight cos you've been up all night nobbing their mums.

Which one of you Bitch's want to dance?

[The Blaatschapen]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

[Internationalist Bastard]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

Maybe you’re into expensive prostitutes

[The New California Republic]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

The only kinds of people that carry around that kind of cash as an everyday occurrence must be into some really dirty deals.

[Lanoraie II]

Option 4: Weird them out so hard that they leave me alone by acting like it's my ultimate fetish to get robbed. If someone carries 3,000USD on them, and they weren't coming home from the bank after cashing in a lottery win, that's probably chump change to them, or something that could be covered on their next paycheck.

I choose 2. And while I'm handing it to them, get a good, hard look at their faces and identifying features, and then follow them in secret while I phone the police, then the bank.

[Internationalist Bastard]

Also is there a sewer grate nearby?
Cuz I’d throw the wallet down there out of spite

[The Blaatschapen]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

Maybe you’re into expensive prostitutes

...

Only sometimes.

That said, I'd get a hotel room and invite them over.

The cheap ones are on the street.

[The New California Republic]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

Maybe you’re into expensive prostitutes

For that kind of money I think that life would become meaningless in comparison to experiencing the things that those particular prostitutes offered.

[The Galactic Liberal Democracy]

In this thread: people who have zero idea how violence or fighting works in the real world.

Always, always hand over your wallet in this scenario. Any self defense or martial arts instructor worth their pay will tell you exactly the same.

Yeah, I remember a story about a black belt getting robbed. I can’t imagine beating up several people with knives. Years of inconsistently going to martial arts isn’t enough to make up for being that outnumbered and overpowered. Given what I ever carry, I wouldn’t have anything useful enough. Sadly, kill them all doesn’t work in this scenario.

[Internationalist Bastard]

Maybe you’re into expensive prostitutes

...

Only sometimes.

That said, I'd get a hotel room and invite them over.

The cheap ones are on the street.

Sure but then you forgot the ice so you step outside to get to the machine and then they mug you

[Western Vale Confederacy]

No, seriously who carries 3000 USD (GBP, Euro) with them at night, alone?

Oooooh, i'm a drugs dealer, aren't I?

Maybe you’re into expensive prostitutes

With $3000, I could get a literal harem.