NationStates

I have discovered something today, where the things I used to be proud of, now I only feel half the pride, while the other half has been taken over by a feeling of shame of the same thing. (I won’t go into what it is, because that’s another topic of controversy.)

In short, I have this mixed feeling of pride and shame of the same thing, at the same time. Is this really possible, or is it a problem?

Depending on the context.

Sounds normal to me. I remember I used to do some terrible things when I was younger, and while some of them I'm still sort of proud of, I've come to regret them a lot over the years.

I was an NS Moderator.

Yes

It actually depends on how you define a 'thing'.

You could be proud of a country, but not proud of many of the things it has done. Proud of its people, but not proud of the opinions they hold.

If you see the things you don't like as different to the things you do (the actions of a country vs. the country, the nation vs. the state, the radicals vs. the moderates etc.), then no, you can't be simultaneously proud and ashamed of the same thing. However, I tend to see almost everything as a mixed bag, and thus, yes, I do feel ashamed of some things that I am simultaneously proud of, and I think that's natural to human behaviour.

Yes, you can be both proud and ashamed of your country, so although I haven't got other legitimate examples there's bound to be others.

In a way, you can be both proud and ashamed of your family if you don't exactly come from creme de la creme of socially acceptable families.

what matters is to avoid causing harm.

once you've done everything in you own power to do so, pride and shame are equally illogical.

of course, as emotions, its not always a choice to feel them, and yes of course you can feel both at the same time.

other then to encourage you to want to avoid causing harm though, they are both illogical.

Yep.

There are some things that I'm proud of having put in the time and effort to do them, but, at the same time, ashamed of for the quality. My earlier roleplays, for example. I'm proud I stuck with it, but I'm not so proud of the quality. There's a *lot* of cringe there...

Jebslund wrote:Yep.

There are some things that I'm proud of having put in the time and effort to do them, but, at the same time, ashamed of for the quality. My earlier roleplays, for example. I'm proud I stuck with it, but I'm not so proud of the quality. There's a *lot* of cringe there...

This. 100% this.

I go back sometimes and read my RPs from back in 2012... Oh boy are they terrible. But it was exactly that which took me from a person who believed Roleplaying to be satanic (thanks, mum and dad...) to being a somewhat decent RP'er and one who does it for fun.

Yes. Yes it is. I remember when I IRL mobilized my angry friends and started a social media war campaign against a group of net bullies from somewhere. I still hate the things they have done, and it seems like they have stopped which made me very happy. But the psychological doxxing and spamming exchanged between us (okay our faction did like 70% of the stuff, we're the terrorists)... reminds me of how insanely insane can homo sapiens be. The drama is also just no. We're both like 12 y/os at the time though so ça ira, the content will just be incredibly cringey now.

Jawohl

The blAAtschApen wrote:I was an NS Moderator.

Yes

Blaat wins the thread with that understated gem.

My response on the wider issue is that yes you can but it's generally healthier to abandon the thing that's causing you shame, build a slightly off-tangent version removing the bits that cause you shame and openly standing against them, or adopting a state of pure gold-loving, power-lusting neutrality. Bouncing between diametric opposite positions on a thing isn't good for the mental health, particularly if it's important. Thoughts are best when they're orderly and stable.

Well, yes. I was proud for breaking the arm of my bully, but at the same time I was ashamed of stopping down to his level and hurting someone physically. I constantly am torn between apologizing to him or not. My ‘devil’ side says: “That motherfucker deserved it. You should be proud for standing up for yourself.” My ‘angel’ side says: “ You hurt the guy so much! Imagine how hard it was for him! The pain you caused! You should be ashamed!”.

Deltia wrote:Well, yes. I was proud for breaking the arm of my bully, but at the same time I was ashamed of stopping down to his level and hurting someone physically. I constantly am torn between apologizing to him or not. My ‘devil’ side says: “That motherfucker deserved it. You should be proud for standing up for yourself.” My ‘angel’ side says: “ You hurt the guy so much! Imagine how hard it was for him! The pain you caused! You should be ashamed!”.

I felt the same way about the pack of Guatemalan gang members I was able to single handedly dispatch using my advanced CQC techniques. I mean, they were mean boiz, but I did what I had to do, know what I'm saying?

It's how I feel about my artificial vagina collection so yes.

Yes.

After all, you can be ashamed and proud of yourself...

If yourself isn’t considered an item, then perhaps consider sexual activities... an overrated action in common society. You can be proud of it, before you get married, but maybe after that ashamed of doing it.

And if actions aren’t items, consider food. You’re proud of your collection, but you’re ashamed that you keep eating and not donating...

So yes, it is possible to be proud and ashamed of the same thing.

Jebslund wrote:Yep.

There are some things that I'm proud of having put in the time and effort to do them, but, at the same time, ashamed of for the quality. My earlier roleplays, for example. I'm proud I stuck with it, but I'm not so proud of the quality. There's a *lot* of cringe there...

I can really agree with this. My earliest RP was just poorly organized, and not well thought out, but it lasted for some time. I've improved a lot since I started RPing on these boards.

Did you have a one-night stand?

I felt simultaneously proud and ashamed when I vote for Democrats. Proud because I sacrifice my principles for the greater good, and ashamed because I sacrifice my principles for the greater good.

Yes, it's called eating a bag of chips within a hour

I don't think so.

Adad Civilization wrote:Yes, it's called eating a bag of chips within a hour

I'll see your bag of chips and raise you a steak dinner and a gallon of whole milk in ten minutes flat.

Page wrote:I felt simultaneously proud and ashamed when I vote for Democrats. Proud because I sacrifice my principles for the greater good, and ashamed because I sacrifice my principles for the greater good.

It doesn't matter. All politicans are lying pricks who just want your money in the long run. You should neither feel shame nor proudness

Jebslund wrote:

Adad Civilization wrote:Yes, it's called eating a bag of chips within a hour

I'll see your bag of chips and raise you a steak dinner and a gallon of whole milk in ten minutes flat.

I'll see your bag of steak dinner and gallon of whole milk in ten minutes flat and raise you having a one night stand with a very ugly and fat chick

Over the past few years I've been working with a friend of mine, writing plot and systems for an RPG with his feedback. My feelings towards it are usually more neutral or scholarly, trying to critically examine what I've come up with (occasionally spotting something dumb, unnecessary, or in need of tweaking) and improve upon/expand its facets. Sometimes my self defeating mentality will subside enough for me to let myself think that some of what I've come up with is pretty cool, until it makes way for the bitter reality that I'm a useless piece of trash and it doesn't matter how good my ideas are or aren't when they'll never amount to a finished product.