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Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:45 amby Ifreann
Trumptonium1 wrote:I mean okay, a complete weirdo, but what is the petty theft charge for?
Theft of the doorbell's virginity?
Theft of the time of the police officers who had to watch him lick a doorbell for three hours. They'll never get that time back.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:48 amby Trumptonium1
Ifreann wrote:Trumptonium1 wrote:I mean okay, a complete weirdo, but what is the petty theft charge for?
Theft of the doorbell's virginity?
Theft of the time of the police officers who had to watch him lick a doorbell for three hours. They'll never get that time back.
Theft of opportunity for a Dunkin' Donuts visit.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:48 amby The Blaatschapen
Ifreann wrote:Trumptonium1 wrote:I mean okay, a complete weirdo, but what is the petty theft charge for?
Theft of the doorbell's virginity?
Theft of the time of the police officers who had to watch him lick a doorbell for three hours. They'll never get that time back.
They should have made a video. And make money on YouTube.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:50 amby Xmara
All I can think of is this quote from Spongebob: “Licking doorknobs is illegal on other planets.”
Idk why, but it was the first thing that came to mind even though this was a doorbell and not a doorknob.
Trumptonium1 wrote:I mean okay, a complete weirdo, but what is the petty theft charge for?
Theft of the doorbell's virginity?
He stole an extension cord from the front yard.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 8:51 amby The Chuck
I just hope that doorbell didn't have any lead paint on it... it would explain why he was licking it...
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 9:01 amby Pax Nerdvana
I heard about this the other day. What is humanity coming too?
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 9:54 amby Ifreann
Pax Nerdvana wrote:I heard about this the other day. What is humanity coming too?
Your door. For a bit of a lick.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:04 amby Pax Nerdvana
Ifreann wrote:Pax Nerdvana wrote:I heard about this the other day. What is humanity coming too?
Your door. For a bit of a lick.
Not on my watch!
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:14 amby Purpelia
Wunderstrafanstalt wrote:Also the man probably have some sort of mental illness, so we should pity him. Except if he doesn't, in which case all the atheists should go to the nearest mosque and pray for hasty divine intervention.
Why? How does him being insane or not change the fact he is a disgusting freak?
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:15 amby Ifreann
Come to think of it, I once saw a lad at a music festival sat on the ground licking a fence, a fence that people had probably been pissing on, so doorbells are a step up for the drug-addled object-licking community.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 10:52 amby Olthar
Hey, maybe the doorbell had peanutbutter smeared on it? Don't judge until you have the whole story.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 11:08 amby The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp
what
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:24 pmby Jolthig
Olthar wrote:Hey, maybe the doorbell had peanutbutter smeared on it? Don't judge until you have the whole story.
Haha
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:32 pmby Page
If I found someone licking my doorbell, I wouldn't call the police, I'd buy a Carolina Reaper and rub it all over the doorbell.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 1:32 pmby Xmara
Page wrote:If I found someone licking my doorbell, I wouldn't call the police, I'd buy a Carolina Reaper and rub it all over the doorbell.
Brilliant
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:03 pmby Sovaal
Better than 4 hours sucking the door knob.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:09 pmby Farnhamia
Risottia wrote:Western Vale Confederacy wrote:...Licking a doorbell?
I've ...
...uhmmmm...
...I guess I shouldn't tell you that.
No, you shouldn't. As I recall, it added a century to the Dark Ages.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:10 pmby Farnhamia
The blAAtschApen wrote:Free Arabian Nation wrote:What about the god of licking doorbells?
I misread and suddenly thought "doorballs"
Which brings us back to the genitalia.
PG-13, please, people.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:32 pmby Purpelia
Page wrote:If I found someone licking my doorbell, I wouldn't call the police, I'd buy a Carolina Reaper and rub it all over the doorbell.
Or rat poison. That works better. Put some superglue under it to make it stick and turn the cameras on so you can record the joy as it unfolds.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 2:33 pmby Valrifell
Well, that's certainly a thing that happened.
Posted:
Thu Jan 10, 2019 5:25 pmby Farnhamia
Valrifell wrote:Well, that's certainly a thing that happened.
Yes. Yes, it is. *snaps on a lock*