NSG! How would you ask someone out?

[Lhazastan]

A shovel, some lime and a fuck load of chloroform (not in that order)

this wasn't terribly amusing to begin with and gets less and less so as everyone repeats it

You're just mad you didn't think of it first.

incredibly so, yes

[The Parkus Empire]

A shovel, some lime and a fuck load of chloroform (not in that order)

this wasn't terribly amusing to begin with and gets less and less so as everyone repeats it

You're just mad you didn't think of it first.

incredibly so, yes

*untwists panties*

[Charlotte Ryberg]

The number one tip from me is to use please and thank you, like the bus conductors in the routemaster days. Also, I would be honest and clear about what I plan to do.

[Ermarian]

I would get to know them better before actually asking them out.

Or...

You can tell them: Hey baby, how 'bout we knock boots?

Or, in the event that fails, I have other tactics up my sleeve.

"Does this rag smell like chloroform to you?"

[Lhazastan]

A shovel, some lime and a fuck load of chloroform (not in that order)

this wasn't terribly amusing to begin with and gets less and less so as everyone repeats it

You're just mad you didn't think of it first.

incredibly so, yes

*untwists panties*

the state of my panties is none of your concern ¬¬

or did you mean yours?

[The Parkus Empire]

the state of my panties is none of your concern ¬¬

or did you mean yours?

I don't wear underwear, and if I did, I certainly would see that they were more comfortably fitted than yours are.

[Lhazastan]

the state of my panties is none of your concern ¬¬

or did you mean yours?

I don't wear underwear, and if I did, I certainly would see that they were more comfortably fitted than yours are.

mine are fine, thank you. soft and covering

I don't really see where you're getting humorless from just because I think repeating a bad joke ad nauseum is a poor substitute for humor

[The Parkus Empire]

mine are fine, thank you. soft and covering

I don't really see where you're getting humorless from just because I think repeating a bad joke ad nauseum is a poor substitute for humor

I think someone wearing contorted undergarments is rather funny, myself, not "humorless."

What exactly is a "good" substitute for humor?

[Lhazastan]

mine are fine, thank you. soft and covering

I don't really see where you're getting humorless from just because I think repeating a bad joke ad nauseum is a poor substitute for humor

I think someone wearing contorted undergarments is rather funny, myself, not "humorless."

What exactly is a "good" substitute for humor?

presumably, you shouldn't need a substitute for humor. a sense of humor itself is a good thing to have

[The Archregimancy]

Semi-serious question here.

How would you ask someone out, if you only sort of know them?

That's fairly easy.

If you're asking them out, then presumably you're currently inside.

Regardless of whether you know them well or not, the simple strategy is to walk over to the nearest door, open it, and then call to them "would you like to go out?"

They will then decide whether they want to go out or stay inside.

That's what you were asking, right?

[Parthenon]

Simple.

"Hi, whats your name?"

Hold conversation.

Pretend to listen.

"Alright well I need to go meet my friends, it was nice chatting with you. Let me get your number and we can hang out sometime."

Hand phone to female, its instinct to grab something that's held out to you. When she types the shit in, call her so she "has your number" i.e. check to see if the number she gave you is real.

Walk away.

Text her later. "It was a pleasure meeting you tonight, you free on INSERT A SPECIFIC TIME to go grab a bite to eat?" MAKE SURE TO BE SPECIFIC, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOUR SCHEDULE LOOKS YOU ARE A BUSY MAN WITH BARELY ENOUGH TIME TO FIT HER IN BUT YOU WILL ANYWAYS AS SHE IS "WORTH IT"

Ignore her reply for at least 5 hours. YOU ARE A BUSY MAN

Respond with "Great, ill pick you up at SPECIFIC TIME. Whats your address?"

[The Spinach Islands]

Semi-serious question here.

How would you ask someone out, if you only sort of know them?

That's fairly easy.

If you're asking them out, then presumably you're currently inside.

Regardless of whether you know them well or not, the simple strategy is to walk over to the nearest door, open it, and then call to them "would you like to go out?"

They will then decide whether they want to go out or stay inside.

That's what you were asking, right?

My strategy is to get right in their face, and yell "You and me, outside now!"

It's very rude to fight indoors. Gentlemen take it out into the street.

[The Parkus Empire]

presumably, you shouldn't need a substitute for humor. a sense of humor itself is a good thing to have

Yes, so is scotch. But not twisted panties, by God.

[The Parkus Empire]

Simple.

"Hi, whats your name?"

Hold conversation.

Pretend to listen.

"Alright well I need to go meet my friends, it was nice chatting with you. Let me get your number and we can hang out sometime."

Hand phone to female, its instinct to grab something that's held out to you. When she types the shit in, call her so she "has your number" i.e. check to see if the number she gave you is real.

Walk away.

Text her later. "It was a pleasure meeting you tonight, you free on INSERT A SPECIFIC TIME to go grab a bite to eat?" MAKE SURE TO BE SPECIFIC, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOUR SCHEDULE LOOKS YOU ARE A BUSY MAN WITH BARELY ENOUGH TIME TO FIT HER IN BUT YOU WILL ANYWAYS AS SHE IS "WORTH IT"

Ignore her reply for at least 5 hours. YOU ARE A BUSY MAN

Respond with "Great, ill pick you up at SPECIFIC TIME. Whats your address?"

As much as it's difficult to tell when someone is full of hot air when he says he's good with women, this post does seem to validate your claims. Simple, yet effective. The proper approach.

[EvilDarkMagicians]

You ask people out...?

I normally use ritilin or hypnosis.

[Dumb Ideologies]

Close your eyes and shout

"SUMMON....sexytimes!"

Note: This may not work.

[Parthenon]

Simple.

"Hi, whats your name?"

Hold conversation.

Pretend to listen.

"Alright well I need to go meet my friends, it was nice chatting with you. Let me get your number and we can hang out sometime."

Hand phone to female, its instinct to grab something that's held out to you. When she types the shit in, call her so she "has your number" i.e. check to see if the number she gave you is real.

Walk away.

Text her later. "It was a pleasure meeting you tonight, you free on INSERT A SPECIFIC TIME to go grab a bite to eat?" MAKE SURE TO BE SPECIFIC, REGARDLESS OF HOW YOUR SCHEDULE LOOKS YOU ARE A BUSY MAN WITH BARELY ENOUGH TIME TO FIT HER IN BUT YOU WILL ANYWAYS AS SHE IS "WORTH IT"

Ignore her reply for at least 5 hours. YOU ARE A BUSY MAN

Respond with "Great, ill pick you up at SPECIFIC TIME. Whats your address?"

As much as it's difficult to tell when someone is full of hot air when he says he's good with women, this post does seem to validate your claims. Simple, yet effective. The proper approach.

Its posts like these that are my little way of giving back to the community.

[The Parkus Empire]

Its posts like these that are my little way of giving back to the community.

Conceited, presumptuous, successful. The most important ingredients in any recipe for the satisfaction of great aspirations. But how far will you go?

[Novograd IV]

*eyes girl*

*walks into bathroom, changes into barely fitting trousers and murky yellow button shirt, puts on pen protector and taped glasses*

*returns, goes to girl*

*snort* [really nasal-y voice] hi *snort* you're haawt!

*gets slapped, lols uncontrollably and hi 5's my mates waiting outside*

[Wilgrove]

Slap her ass and tell her you two are going out.

Seriously though, just talk to her, get to know her, and if y'all click, then ask her out. Also, if you really want to score points with her parents, tell them that they have a wonderful daughter and be honest with your intentions. The dad may fill you with shotgun slugs, but at least they'll respect you for telling them you want to fill their daughter up with your man seed. *nods*

[Bengera]

Here's how you do it:

Whats somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
say, did you come alone? or did you bring all your friends?
say, whats your name, what you drinking
i think i know what you're thinking
baby whats your sign, tell me yours ill tell you mine
say, whats somebody like you doing in a place like this

[Cyber Utopia]

Tranquiliser Dart. Never fails. Unless you miss of course. Then it fails epicly.

[Parthenon]

Here's how you do it:

Whats somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
say, did you come alone? or did you bring all your friends?
say, whats your name, what you drinking
i think i know what you're thinking
baby whats your sign, tell me yours ill tell you mine
say, whats somebody like you doing in a place like this

No, that's not.

[Bengera]

Here's how you do it:

Whats somebody like you, doing in a place like this?
say, did you come alone? or did you bring all your friends?
say, whats your name, what you drinking
i think i know what you're thinking
baby whats your sign, tell me yours ill tell you mine
say, whats somebody like you doing in a place like this

No, that's not.

How bout this?: (for a girl)

Maybe It's Time To Put This Pussy On Ya Sideburns

[Fanaglia]

Say "Baby we are going to go have fun and your not going to say no."
If she says no slap her several times

Rape!

It's not rape if you yell "Surprise!"