Florida Yoga Studio Shooter Identified As InCel

[Valgora]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I once heard of a dude who dated a 27 year old - he was 23 - and she didn't have a driver's license, would color in her free time, listened to the Jonas Brothers, always wore a Justin Bieber backpack, and when he tried to explain Bandcamp to her she thought he meant Camprock which is a Disney Channel movie.

[Galloism]

Men start 80% of conversations on OkCupid, and they tend to message younger women. The older men get, the younger the women they message (relative to their own age).

Ahh, there's what I expected to see.

Well hence I spoke of expectations and standards, men tend to go after younger girls.. there's another study where they're simply asked to assess attractiveness, men top out at picking 22 years at the top of the age range whereas women go much higher.. but if men got over that and widened their approach they might have better success.

Seems like a good idea.

I'd also like women to reach out more so that the number of people who start conversations on ok cupid are 50% +/- a small percentage.

Something something equality.

[Galloism]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I once heard of a dude who dated a 27 year old - he was 23 - and she didn't have a driver's license, would color in her free time, listened to the Jonas Brothers, always wore a Justin Bieber backpack, and when he tried to explain Bandcamp to her she thought he meant Camprock which is a Disney Channel movie.

Dude, find an adult to date.

I mean an adult in mind.

[Liriena]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I once heard of a dude who dated a 27 year old - he was 23 - and she didn't have a driver's license, would color in her free time, listened to the Jonas Brothers, always wore a Justin Bieber backpack, and when he tried to explain Bandcamp to her she thought he meant Camprock which is a Disney Channel movie.

Sounds like a real-life Kimmy Schmidt.

[Iridencia]

They crave what society tells them they should have of they're an utter failure - a woman's approval.

We need to break this outlook that a man needs a woman's approval to be a worthwhile man, but unfortunately it's very systemic in our society and difficult to break. Unfortunately, men, when depressed, often act out - sometimes violently. This guy needs to go to jail, but we also can't ignore the systemic problem that led to this.

I don't think it's a woman's approval they're concerned about. I think its closer to that society has given them the message that they, as "nice guys", are entitled to women without any extra input on their part.

One part objectification of women, one part toxic masculinity, toss in other feelings of rejection from society because these lot don't tend to be popular to begin with and, there ya go, InCels.

It doesn't have to be just one or the other, you know.

An attitude can simultaneously oppress both men and women in different ways. The basics of the attitude here is simple: "the proper thing for you is to have a female sexual partner." On one hand, yes, that can fuel a perception that one is entitled to a woman's attention, thereby objectifying her and making her seem indebted to the man. It also places unnecessary value on a woman's attention, thus subjecting the man to her arbitrary approval and disapproval.

A single expectation can have multiple implications and facets built into it, and humans can feel the effects of all of them at once. If anything, these multiple implications are often what cause the confusion and anger that fuel bigotry in the first place—because there's no way to win.

[Iridencia]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I once heard of a dude who dated a 27 year old - he was 23 - and she didn't have a driver's license, would color in her free time, listened to the Jonas Brothers, always wore a Justin Bieber backpack, and when he tried to explain Bandcamp to her she thought he meant Camprock which is a Disney Channel movie.

This makes me feel slightly better about my own immaturity.

[Valgora]

I once heard of a dude who dated a 27 year old - he was 23 - and she didn't have a driver's license, would color in her free time, listened to the Jonas Brothers, always wore a Justin Bieber backpack, and when he tried to explain Bandcamp to her she thought he meant Camprock which is a Disney Channel movie.

Dude, find an adult to date.

I mean an adult in mind.

He broke up with her.
I heard about it thanks to the DickyDines Show when they went to Facebook to ask their subscribers their pettiest reasons for breaking up in relationships.

[Ostroeuropa]

They're explanations of why the data might not prove what you're saying it proves. That's how science is done. You're throwing out a bunch of snarl words that don't actually apply in this situation. I'm not claiming its true, merely that it is possible.

Ok, gotcha. You are just arguing for the possibility, and you are doing so purely in the interest of objectivity and science.

By the way, I'm still waiting on this:

Disregarding the fact that your gish-galloping has nothing to do with Foryis' original point and you're basically projectile vomiting random facts in the service of a vaguely anti-feminist argument (again)... you could at least actually cite these studies.

https://techcrunch.com/2009/11/18/okcup ... ttractive/

Here's the 80%

https://www.glamour.com/story/glamour-sexuality-survey

Here's the 2/3rds.

[Major-Tom]

Honestly, if someone is gonna commit atrocities because "Wahhhh I can't get sexxx," then I think perhaps their motive was more than just being unable to land a mate. It indicates deeper psychological problems that could've manifested in so many ways.

[Bombadil]

Well hence I spoke of expectations and standards, men tend to go after younger girls.. there's another study where they're simply asked to assess attractiveness, men top out at picking 22 years at the top of the age range whereas women go much higher.. but if men got over that and widened their approach they might have better success.

Seems like a good idea.

I'd also like women to reach out more so that the number of people who start conversations on ok cupid are 50% +/- a small percentage.

Something something equality.

Absolutely.. I went on a date and chose the venue. I then asked if she'd like to go on a second date and she said of course and so I said let me know the venue and time. Crickets. Then two weeks later she sent a whole passive aggressive message as to why I hadn't asked her out and I replied that I'd asked her to pick a time and place. She couldn't seem to get it into her head that it wasn't up to me to initiate everything and I wasn't attracted to someone who didn't have the simple ease and confidence to just choose a place.

I really react to this idea of gender roles in a relationship and would like to date a person at an equal level rather than someone expects particular tasks because down the road I'll just resent the whole thing anyway.

[Ostroeuropa]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

When I was 21 I was dating a 35 year old Finnish woman who thought she was a white witch, all while living in Greece. Shit was intense....

I was dating a drug dealer who plied me full of the best shit i'd ever had and in hindsight I was probably just high as fuck and not madly in love and even then I had to willfully disregard a lot of terrible treatment.

It's tough being attracted to strong women. It does give me some sympathy for women who are attracted to men who take charge, I expect they get a lot of trouble too over the unclear line between actually being dashing and just being a bit of a cunt. But the current one is good.

[Galloism]

Seems like a good idea.

I'd also like women to reach out more so that the number of people who start conversations on ok cupid are 50% +/- a small percentage.

Something something equality.

Absolutely.. I went on a date and chose the venue. I then asked if she'd like to go on a second date and she said of course and so I said let me know the venue and time. Crickets. Then two weeks later she sent a whole passive aggressive message as to why I hadn't asked her out and I replied that I'd asked her to pick a time and place. She couldn't seem to get it into her head that it wasn't up to me to initiate everything and I wasn't attracted to someone who didn't have the simple ease and confidence to just choose a place.

I really react to this idea of gender roles in a relationship and would like to date a person at an equal level rather than someone expects particular tasks because down the road I'll just resent the whole thing anyway.

I feel you man. I've had a somewhat similar experience. Not the same thing, but sort of in the ballpark.

When I was younger there was a young woman I really had a crush on. I did the man thing, and asked her for a date, and she flatly refused, said she wasn't interested - so I left, sucked it up, had a few beers with the guys, and went on with my life.

Many years later, she told me that I "could have had her if I had pressed my case", implying she was interested. Of course that was after I became, well... this horrible person you see before you. I told her to mean what she says and say what she means, and that I don't have time or inclination to deal with people who enjoy playing mind games with others, and that she needed to grow up.

It didn't go over well.

[Costa Fierro]

I'll admit, that does surprise me.

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Generally men on "dating apps" and dating sites are often the ones sending out messages to others, the younger ones especially, and the women in their respective age groups are likely bombarded with dozens of messages from dozens of men every day, which in turn allows them to be super selective in who they respond back to. You couple that with the onus of the man to not only initiate, but carry conversations on these media platforms and you have a recipe for men who will be more than happy to respond to middle aged women who message them first. Why? Because it shows initiative and it shows interest, and sex with a 50 year old is apparently better than no sex at all.

[New haven america]

Just on the whole review your standards thing, in checking out that study I cited earlier..

When men message women, women tend to respond most often to men around their own ages. But when women message men, they’re actually more likely to get a response from younger men than they are from older ones. A 40-year-old woman will have better luck messaging a 25-year-old man than a 55-year-old one, according to the data. And a 30-year-old man is more likely to respond to a message from a 50-year-old woman than a message from any other age group. When women make the first move, the age gap dating norm is reversed.

A 40-year-old woman will have better luck messaging a 25-year-old man (60% reply rate) than she would a 55-year-old one (36% reply rate).

So maybe approach some older ladies people, happy cougar hunting.

I'll admit, that does surprise me.

Doesn't surprise me. (Especially on dating sites)

Younger women on those sites tend to be super judgmental/restrictive of who they date (Height requirements, salary requirements, etc...) and if you aren't able to pique their interest within the first few messages/sentences then you're most likely already out of their pool of options. Older women tend to not do that shit and are more open to different experiences/options.

[Bombadil]

I'll admit, that does surprise me.

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Generally men on "dating apps" and dating sites are often the ones sending out messages to others, the younger ones especially, and the women in their respective age groups are likely bombarded with dozens of messages from dozens of men every day, which in turn allows them to be super selective in who they respond back to. You couple that with the onus of the man to not only initiate, but carry conversations on these media platforms and you have a recipe for men who will be more than happy to respond to middle aged women who message them first. Why? Because it shows initiative and it shows interest, and sex with a 50 year old is apparently better than no sex at all.

Fair.. still I follow #tindernightmares on Instagram and I think men could work those opening lines a little better..

[Galloism]

I'll admit, that does surprise me.

Doesn't surprise me. (Especially on dating sites)

Younger women on those sites tend to be super judgmental/restrictive of who they date (Height requirements, salary requirements, etc...) and if you aren't able to pique their interest within the first few messages/sentences then you're most likely already out of their pool of options. Older women tend to not do that shit.

Ok, that does make sense.

[New haven america]

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Generally men on "dating apps" and dating sites are often the ones sending out messages to others, the younger ones especially, and the women in their respective age groups are likely bombarded with dozens of messages from dozens of men every day, which in turn allows them to be super selective in who they respond back to. You couple that with the onus of the man to not only initiate, but carry conversations on these media platforms and you have a recipe for men who will be more than happy to respond to middle aged women who message them first. Why? Because it shows initiative and it shows interest, and sex with a 50 year old is apparently better than no sex at all.

Fair.. still I follow #tindernightmares on Instagram and I think men could work those opening lines a little better..

And then you have r/Tinder, a subreddit dedicated to people absolutely and purposefully destroying their chances of a wonderful relationship or sex just to get imaginary internet points.

It's great.

[New haven america]

I'll admit, that does surprise me.

It doesn't surprise me in the slightest. Generally men on "dating apps" and dating sites are often the ones sending out messages to others, the younger ones especially, and the women in their respective age groups are likely bombarded with dozens of messages from dozens of men every day, which in turn allows them to be super selective in who they respond back to. You couple that with the onus of the man to not only initiate, but carry conversations on these media platforms and you have a recipe for men who will be more than happy to respond to middle aged women who message them first. Why? Because it shows initiative and it shows interest, and sex with a 50 year old is apparently better than no sex at all.

Experience. It's called experience, young Costa.

[Fartsniffage]

When I was 21 I was dating a 35 year old Finnish woman who thought she was a white witch, all while living in Greece. Shit was intense....

I was dating a drug dealer who plied me full of the best shit i'd ever had and in hindsight I was probably just high as fuck and not madly in love and even then I had to willfully disregard a lot of terrible treatment.

It's tough being attracted to strong women. It does give me some sympathy for women who are attracted to men who take charge, I expect they get a lot of trouble too over the unclear line between actually being dashing and just being a bit of a cunt. But the current one is good.

Mine just bought me pizza from time to time.....

[Galloism]

I was dating a drug dealer who plied me full of the best shit i'd ever had and in hindsight I was probably just high as fuck and not madly in love and even then I had to willfully disregard a lot of terrible treatment.

It's tough being attracted to strong women. It does give me some sympathy for women who are attracted to men who take charge, I expect they get a lot of trouble too over the unclear line between actually being dashing and just being a bit of a cunt. But the current one is good.

Mine just bought me pizza from time to time.....

Never thought you'd be taking dating advice from Ostro, eh?

Life is full of puzzling twists and turns.

[Vince Vaughn]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I dated a chick from DePaul, that did not go well.

[Major-Tom]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I dated a chick from DePaul, that did not go well.

Loyola > U Illinois > Depaul >>>>>>>>>> U Chicago.

[Bombadil]

I've dated an older woman. It did not go well. Currently dating a younger one, it's going well. The age has little to do with it. The older one was less mature than the current one by several orders of magnitude.

I dated a chick from DePaul, that did not go well.

We can do a worst dates thread.. god knows..

[Fartsniffage]

Mine just bought me pizza from time to time.....

Never thought you'd be taking dating advice from Ostro, eh?

Life is full of puzzling twists and turns.

Indeed. Hard drugs are expensive.

[Costa Fierro]

Experience. It's called experience, young Costa.

It's also called emotional baggage.