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Should we clone Jesus?

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Anywhere Else But Here
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Postby Anywhere Else But Here » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:21 am

Mzeusia wrote:
Anywhere Else But Here wrote:Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.

True. Still be a terrible life. Don't fix what's not broken. Breaking Jesus may not be the best.

He's dead. That's as broken as you can get.

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The Batavia
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Postby The Batavia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:21 am

The Alma Mater wrote:
Mzeusia wrote:True. Still be a terrible life. Don't fix what's not broken. Breaking Jesus may not be the best.

It does however sound like a good title for a Netflix series.

How would they name it? Clonesus?
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Mzeusia
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Postby Mzeusia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:22 am

Anywhere Else But Here wrote:He's dead. That's as broken as you can get.

If he gets cloned, he will be alive. He will be fixed in the dead department, but will quickly become broken in the sanity department.
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:22 am

The blAAtschApen wrote:
The Alma Mater wrote:
Clone Jesus in fact would be an entirely different person than the original; since his whole life will go differently.


It must be very weird though, with his depiction everywhere and him not remembering why.


Considering the historical Jesus probably looked nothing like the most common western depiction that would not be a problem ;)
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:23 am

The Batavia wrote:
The Alma Mater wrote:It does however sound like a good title for a Netflix series.

How would they name it? Clonesus?


"Breaking Jesus".

Clonesus would be an X-man :P
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New haven america
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Postby New haven america » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:26 am

Vassenor wrote:
Sougra wrote:You're literally describing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode right now.


So what, we install the clone Jesus into a figurehead political position just to stop the Christians toppling all the governments?

It's worth a shot.
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Arkeyana
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Postby Arkeyana » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:28 am

The Alma Mater wrote:
Arkeyana wrote:One: What

Two: Ok how do we know if its "Jesus" DNA


Are you suggesting that churches who claim to have the holy foreskin are lying ?


1: Do we have actual DNA to compare it to?

2: why, in the ever-loving feth, would foreskin be considered holy. This is a legitimate question here, I won't press it if its offensive, but why?
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Postby The Blaatschapen » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:28 am

The Batavia wrote:
The Alma Mater wrote:It does however sound like a good title for a Netflix series.

How would they name it? Clonesus?


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Radiatia
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Postby Radiatia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:29 am

I think it would just turn into a situation like the show Clone High (anyone remember that show?) in which the clone Jesus would probably spend his whole life feeling angst over the fact he could never live up to being the historical Jesus.
Last edited by Radiatia on Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:30 am, edited 1 time in total.

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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:31 am

Arkeyana wrote:
The Alma Mater wrote:
Are you suggesting that churches who claim to have the holy foreskin are lying ?


1: Do we have actual DNA to compare it to?


Conclusive ? No. That's the point - according to Christians Jesus bodily ascended to heaven. So he left no corpse behind.
We do however have had a lot of churches who claimed to have his hair, nailclippings and indeed his foreskin.
Though admittedly at one time there were so many churches that claimed to own that last bit Jesus must have had a true cannon in his pants; even as a baby.

2: why, in the ever-loving feth, would foreskin be considered holy. This is a legitimate question here, I won't press it if its offensive, but why?

Because it was once attached to Jesus ;)
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:32 am

The blAAtschApen wrote:
The Batavia wrote:How would they name it? Clonesus?


How I met your Almighty Father.


Nah, that's Lucifer.
Which sadly was cancelled :(

We could call it "Body of Christ".
Last edited by The Alma Mater on Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:36 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Harkback Union
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Postby Harkback Union » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:32 am

WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!
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Sougra
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Postby Sougra » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:35 am

Harkback Union wrote:WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!

Buddha wouldn't fight, although I'd be interested to see how the Abrahamic God would feel about Jesus, Moses, and Muhammad (pbuh) fighting each other.
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The Batavia
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Postby The Batavia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:38 am

Harkback Union wrote:WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!

Prophetnite: Battle Royale
In a nutshell: Batavia is a PMT Democratic Republic located in Western Europe. It is an Economic powerhouse with one of the strongest militaries in the world. This nation somewhat represents my political views.
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:39 am

Harkback Union wrote:WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!


https://www.newgrounds.com/portal/view/421199

:P ?
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Washington Resistance Army
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Postby Washington Resistance Army » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:48 am

The Batavia wrote:
Harkback Union wrote:WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!

Prophetnite: Battle Royale


PUBG is better tho

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Alanis Star
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Postby Alanis Star » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:50 am

This is like a literal interpretation of "Jesus is your personal God."
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The Batavia
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Postby The Batavia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:54 am

Washington Resistance Army wrote:
The Batavia wrote:Prophetnite: Battle Royale


PUBG is better tho

Play Unknown's Prophetgrounds?
In a nutshell: Batavia is a PMT Democratic Republic located in Western Europe. It is an Economic powerhouse with one of the strongest militaries in the world. This nation somewhat represents my political views.
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Postby HC Eredivisie » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:54 am

No, bring back Barabbas.
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Washington Resistance Army
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Postby Washington Resistance Army » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:55 am

The Batavia wrote:
Washington Resistance Army wrote:
PUBG is better tho

Play Unknown's Prophetgrounds?


Y E S

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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:57 am

Harkback Union wrote:WHY STOP THERE?

Let us clone Moses, Muhammad, Buddha, Confucius, Mahavira, Zeno of Citium, Joseph Smith and L Ron Hubbard...
And then, Have them fight each other to the death on a remote island in a televised Battle Royale event! Think of the ratings we'd get!

Money's on Hubbard, he has a star fleet.
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Atmovia
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Postby Atmovia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:02 am

Personally, I'm not religious in that I believe in a god, I instead believe in spiritualism etc.

However, I believe a man named Jesus may have existed, though he would, of course, not have been the son of god, and he may not have performed all of the "miracles" he was said to (all stories get vastly exaggerated over time, after all, like that time your Aunt Julia fell into a river, and the next time you hear of it she got swept away down a waterfall or something xP) Though any existing Jesus may have been talented at healing people (perhaps in the modern day, he would be a sought after doctor)

However, if you brought Jesus back, as a clone, there's no saying the clone would also hold any of the same "knowledge" as the original "Jesus" may have done. Not to mention we're talking about a person thousands of years old, and medical knowledge, as well as ailments and diseases, have evolved greatly since then.

So, in all honesty, I feel like if you cloned "Jesus" it would only end in disappointment.
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Western Vale Confederacy
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Postby Western Vale Confederacy » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:03 am

Hell yes!

We can even resurrect Moses and Muhammad, put the three in a cage, and solve once and for all who is the rightful Abrahamic religion!

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Prussian Polish Commonwealth
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Postby Prussian Polish Commonwealth » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:04 am

Erm...no.
Although that idea to clone all the religious figures and have them fight each other gave me a chuckle.
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Garden at 6th Mile Road
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Postby Garden at 6th Mile Road » Sat Jun 02, 2018 3:07 am

Prussian Polish Commonwealth wrote:Erm...no.
Although that idea to clone all the religious figures and have them fight each other gave me a chuckle.


This will give "religious fight" a whole new meaning.

Oh, you wanted a Christianty vs. Islam debate? Moses vs. Muhammad is a go!
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