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Should we clone Jesus?

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The Blaatschapen
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Should we clone Jesus?

Postby The Blaatschapen » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:46 am

So, with the advent of human cloning technology. Should we clone Jesus? There might be some usable DNA left in one of the relics (holy foreskin?). Thus, we can clone Him and force the second coming. And third, and fourth, why stop at only one :)


Or even better yet, a Jesus for everyone. Think of it :Your Own Personal Jesus *cue good Depeche Mode song*

In the end, the second coming is very important for various faiths. Why not help it a hand and force the issue :)
Last edited by The Blaatschapen on Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:46 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Sougra
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Postby Sougra » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:48 am

The blAAtschApen wrote:So, with the advent of human cloning technology. Should we clone Jesus? There might be some usable DNA left in one of the relics (holy foreskin?). Thus, we can clone Him and force the second coming. And third, and fourth, why stop at only one :)


Or even better yet, a Jesus for everyone. Think of it :Your Own Personal Jesus *cue good Depeche Mode song*

In the end, the second coming is very important for various faiths. Why not help it a hand and force the issue :)

You're literally describing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode right now.
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Jelmatt
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Postby Jelmatt » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:48 am

I don't think a clone of Jesus would count as being of the same essence as God, really, theologically speaking.
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Postby Vassenor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:49 am

There'd probably be some mental gymnastics about how it doesn't actually count when it doesn't result in all the prophecies coming true.
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Postby Vassenor » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:50 am

Sougra wrote:
The blAAtschApen wrote:So, with the advent of human cloning technology. Should we clone Jesus? There might be some usable DNA left in one of the relics (holy foreskin?). Thus, we can clone Him and force the second coming. And third, and fourth, why stop at only one :)


Or even better yet, a Jesus for everyone. Think of it :Your Own Personal Jesus *cue good Depeche Mode song*

In the end, the second coming is very important for various faiths. Why not help it a hand and force the issue :)

You're literally describing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode right now.


So what, we install the clone Jesus into a figurehead political position just to stop the Christians toppling all the governments?
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Arkeyana
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Postby Arkeyana » Sat Jun 02, 2018 1:51 am

One: What

Two: Ok how do we know if its "Jesus" DNA
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Anywhere Else But Here
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Postby Anywhere Else But Here » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:09 am

Yep. Stick a Jesus in every African village, and you just solved world hunger.

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Postby The Batavia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:12 am

Yeah, and make him a Cyborg with machine gun arms while you're at it.
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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:13 am

That would start Third Impact, not the Second Coming.

Vassenor wrote:There'd probably be some mental gymnastics about how it doesn't actually count when it doesn't result in all the prophecies coming true.

It's actually incredibly easy to explain (well, besides the obvious scientific answer)

It's not Jesus, but a clone of Jesus.
Arkeyana wrote:One: What

Two: Ok how do we know if its "Jesus" DNA

Angelic chanting whenever you pick up the sample.
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Postby The Blaatschapen » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:13 am

Jelmatt wrote:I don't think a clone of Jesus would count as being of the same essence as God, really, theologically speaking.


Only one way to find out :)
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:14 am

Arkeyana wrote:One: What

Two: Ok how do we know if its "Jesus" DNA


Are you suggesting that churches who claim to have the holy foreskin are lying ?
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Postby Aclion » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:14 am

Didn't the second coming already happen? Isn't that the whole deal with easter?
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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:15 am

Aclion wrote:Didn't the second coming already happen? Isn't that the whole deal with easter?

Nein, that was Jesus turning around right after leaving the house to grab his car keys.
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The Blaatschapen
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Postby The Blaatschapen » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:15 am

Aclion wrote:Didn't the second coming already happen? Isn't that the whole deal with easter?


Easter was two months ago. Did I miss something in the news?
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Whenever you find yourself on the side of the majority, it is time to pause and reflect - Mark Twain
Silent is an anagram of listen.
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Rostavykhan
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Postby Rostavykhan » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:16 am

Sougra wrote:
The blAAtschApen wrote:So, with the advent of human cloning technology. Should we clone Jesus? There might be some usable DNA left in one of the relics (holy foreskin?). Thus, we can clone Him and force the second coming. And third, and fourth, why stop at only one :)


Or even better yet, a Jesus for everyone. Think of it :Your Own Personal Jesus *cue good Depeche Mode song*

In the end, the second coming is very important for various faiths. Why not help it a hand and force the issue :)

You're literally describing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode right now.


GODDAMNIT I WAS ABOUT TO BRING THAT UP.

:clap:

Was going to say, cloning Jesus probably might offend some, and I doubt we could expect "New" Jesus to live up to what "Old" Jesus had done. Then again, it might be interpreted as the Second Coming by others, and he might be looked up to as a leader for Christendom.
Last edited by Rostavykhan on Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:16 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Mzeusia
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Postby Mzeusia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:16 am

Clone Jesus! What an awful Idea.

The poor guy will have a terrible life, always being hounded by people. He'll probably be scared of crosses, seeing as how he did die on one.
Also, Holywood would most likely snap him up.

Leave him dead.
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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:17 am

How many people will be surprised when the clone is only four feet tall?

Not I, said the Austin Powers fan.

Rostavykhan wrote:
Sougra wrote:You're literally describing a Star Trek: The Next Generation episode right now.


GODDAMNIT I WAS ABOUT TO BRING THAT UP.

:clap:

Was going to say, cloning Jesus probably might offend some, and I doubt we could expect "New" Jesus to live up to what "Old" Jesus had done. Then again, it might be interpreted as the Second Coming by others, and he might be looked up to as a leader for Christendom.

At the very least they'd probably make him a saint.
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Anywhere Else But Here
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Postby Anywhere Else But Here » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:18 am

Mzeusia wrote:Clone Jesus! What an awful Idea.

The poor guy will have a terrible life, always being hounded by people. He'll probably be scared of crosses, seeing as how he did die on one.
Also, Holywood would most likely snap him up.

Leave him dead.

Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.

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Boer Volkstaat
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Postby Boer Volkstaat » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:18 am

Jesus was resurrected and will be returning soon, any attempts to clone for example taking dna off the shroud of turin is anti-christ.

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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:18 am

Mzeusia wrote:Clone Jesus! What an awful Idea.

The poor guy will have a terrible life, always being hounded by people. He'll probably be scared of crosses, seeing as how he did die on one.
Also, Holywood would most likely snap him up.

Leave him dead.

TBF dying on the cross was his idea.
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:18 am

Anywhere Else But Here wrote:
Mzeusia wrote:Clone Jesus! What an awful Idea.

The poor guy will have a terrible life, always being hounded by people. He'll probably be scared of crosses, seeing as how he did die on one.
Also, Holywood would most likely snap him up.

Leave him dead.

Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.


Clone Jesus in fact would be an entirely different person than the original; since his whole life will go differently.
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The Empire of Pretantia
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Postby The Empire of Pretantia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:19 am

Boer Volkstaat wrote:Jesus was resurrected and will be returning soontm, any attempts to clone for example taking dna off the shroud of turin is anti-christ.

Fixed
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Mzeusia
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Postby Mzeusia » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:19 am

Anywhere Else But Here wrote:Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.

True. Still be a terrible life. Don't fix what's not broken. Breaking Jesus may not be the best.
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The Alma Mater
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Postby The Alma Mater » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:20 am

Mzeusia wrote:
Anywhere Else But Here wrote:Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.

True. Still be a terrible life. Don't fix what's not broken. Breaking Jesus may not be the best.

It does however sound like a good title for a Netflix series.
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The Blaatschapen
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Postby The Blaatschapen » Sat Jun 02, 2018 2:20 am

The Alma Mater wrote:
Anywhere Else But Here wrote:Clone Jesus wouldn't remember the crucifixion.


Clone Jesus in fact would be an entirely different person than the original; since his whole life will go differently.


It must be very weird though, with his depiction everywhere and him not remembering why.
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