On The Distribution of Spouses

[Costa Fierro]

Tbh, anyone who thinks people are capable of completely ignoring physical attraction as part of the equation of their choice in partners is kidding themselves. I'm willing to believe that it is less of a conscious factor for some people, but not there at all, that's kinda utopian.

Yeah, no. You're just wrong. This is blatantly obvious, because asexuals exist.

Scraping the barrel constantly must really hurt your fingers.

Yes, and your sources citiations use methodology that calculates averages and statistical significance. As anyone will tell you, deriving universalist statements from such is pretty iffy.

Statistical significance is important because if it's not statistically significant, it's not considered be worth accounting for. It's not iffy if the few people that don't do it constitute such a small percentage of the population as to be rendered statistically insignificant. With that in mind, why consider the insignificant unless we're trying to win some argument on the internet?

[Jarian]

I find the thought of being forced to marry someone random terrifying. No thanks. I see no benefits from marriage and fully understand why communities like MGTOW exist. I probably qualify for MGTOW, I don't think an ideal match exists for me and the risks of finding one are just too high.

[Kubra]

Yeah, no. You're just wrong. This is blatantly obvious, because asexuals exist.

Scraping the barrel constantly must really hurt your fingers.

Yes, and your sources citiations use methodology that calculates averages and statistical significance. As anyone will tell you, deriving universalist statements from such is pretty iffy.

Statistical significance is important because if it's not statistically significant, it's not considered be worth accounting for. It's not iffy if the few people that don't do it constitute such a small percentage of the population as to be rendered statistically insignificant. With that in mind, why consider the insignificant unless we're trying to win some argument on the internet?

it does matter, insofar as it makes the difference between valid and invalid for universalist statements. ~P and P does not admit a state of mostly P.

[The South Falls]

I'll be honest here. It would be very difficult to work. Arranged marriages, in my opinion, sometime doesn't work. Well, some might, but the chance for it to fail is higher. Call me a hopeful silly guy, but I think people who are comfortable and compatible with each other would have better relationship in average, simply because they want it, not forced into it.

I used to think like this when I'm younger, but as I got older, I start to learn to be more realistic. With this spouse distribution system, I would be guaranteed to have a wife, but would I be happy? The chance of "No" would be higher. I'll rather wait for long time, maybe late twenties (Nineteen turning twenty in few weeks), but in a relationship I would sure of it's future, rather than one where the chance of it to fail is high.

EDIT : I'll spoil a bit. I tried, but so far failed to have girlfriend, both offline and online, local or foreigner, and given my situation ATM, that might be the best, because even now I'm still not fully capable to support myself.

Exactly. If I went outside, and took a person off the street, then I probably wouldn't be happy with them, than if I spend my time looking for someone compatible with me.

[The Blaatschapen]

I find the thought of being forced to marry someone random terrifying. No thanks. I see no benefits from marriage and fully understand why communities like MGTOW exist. I probably qualify for MGTOW, I don't think an ideal match exists for me and the risks of finding one are just too high.

What are the risks according to you?

[The Empire of Pretantia]

I find the thought of being forced to marry someone random terrifying. No thanks. I see no benefits from marriage and fully understand why communities like MGTOW exist. I probably qualify for MGTOW, I don't think an ideal match exists for me and the risks of finding one are just too high.

What are the risks according to you?

Kids.

[Cappuccina]

What are the risks according to you?

Kids.

You don't need marriage for that......

I do completely understand the MGTOW idea, though and agree with them. I personally find relationships as a hinderance to my own self-exploration, and avoid them.

[Fahran]

Or we could not.

Why, in the name of all that is good and pure, does anybody have an intrinsic right to a spouse, to love, to a marriage, or to children? Why do they have an intrinsic right to me, my body, my affection, my emotional attachment, or anything else that has not been freely given? You have not substantiated this point aside from mutilating the concept of natural rights to rationalize a profound intrusion by the state into the familial sphere and, by logical extension, the degradation of such institutions as the family, the church, and the community. The idea is abhorrent, destructive, self-pitying, degenerate, inefficient, dehumanizing, and evil.

To be quite honest, while I'm inclined to feel bad for the social ineptitude, awkwardness, and alienation that many young men AND YOUNG WOMEN are presently experiencing, the problem is itself somewhat exaggerated. Everyone has been getting married later in our society. It's one the pains that comes with industrialization. The reason that bitterness has become so customary among certain circles of young men and women is because significant portions of society have lost the ability to communicate in healthy ways. Incels do not know how to behave as traditionally masculine men, do not know how to adjust to the modern dating scene, lack social/emotional support networks and foundations in their communities, and often have never had a meaningful conversation with a woman that was predicated on some sort of limerent attachment.

This would not address the underlying problems and would reduce our society to more narcissistic depths of self-pity. If you wanted to fix the problem, get folks more engaged in their communities. Get them to take an avid interest in worthwhile things. Get them to become story-tellers and jesters and explorers. Being a home-body is nice, but you can't have a conversation about snoozing on your couch, binge-watching Netflix, or Assassin's Creed if that isn't what interests the other person. Start going to church or mosque or synagogue. Start working out and reading books. Go to a local state/national park or museum. Make yourself a worthwhile partner. Everyone's great, of course, but that doesn't mean we can't be better.

In short, let's start with ourselves and our local communities before just flipping over the chess board and giving unnecessary power to a distant, faceless entity that doesn't care about us as anything more than materialistic components in society.

"Marriage is bad" snip.

Marriage is actually quite advantageous to men, even if a minority of marriages are sexless. You have someone to support your physical and emotional needs. That's actually pretty nice. Starting a family tends to be useful in your old age as well, at least if the kids are decent human beings.

[The Blaatschapen]

Or we could not.

Why, in the name of all that is good and pure, does anybody have an intrinsic right to a spouse, to love, to a marriage, or to children? Why do they have an intrinsic right to me, my body, my affection, my emotional attachment, or anything else that has not been freely given? You have not substantiated this point aside from mutilating the concept of natural rights to rationalize a profound intrusion by the state into the familial sphere and, by logical extension, the degradation of such institutions as the family, the church, and the community. The idea is abhorrent, destructive, self-pitying, degenerate, inefficient, dehumanizing, and evil.

To be quite honest, while I'm inclined to feel bad for the social ineptitude, awkwardness, and alienation that many young men AND YOUNG WOMEN are presently experiencing, the problem is itself somewhat exaggerated. Everyone has been getting married later in our society. It's one the pains that comes with industrialization. The reason that bitterness has become so customary among certain circles of young men and women is because significant portions of society have lost the ability to communicate in healthy ways. Incels do not know how to behave as traditionally masculine men, do not know how to adjust to the modern dating scene, lack social/emotional support networks and foundations in their communities, and often have never had a meaningful conversation with a woman that was predicated on some sort of limerent attachment.

This would not address the underlying problems and would reduce our society to more narcissistic depths of self-pity. If you wanted to fix the problem, get folks more engaged in their communities. Get them to take an avid interest in worthwhile things. Get them to become story-tellers and jesters and explorers. Being a home-body is nice, but you can't have a conversation about snoozing on your couch, binge-watching Netflix, or Assassin's Creed if that isn't what interests the other person. Start going to church or mosque or synagogue. Start working out and reading books. Go to a local state/national park or museum. Make yourself a worthwhile partner. Everyone's great, of course, but that doesn't mean we can't be better.

In short, let's start with ourselves and our local communities before just flipping over the chess board and giving unnecessary power to a distant, faceless entity that doesn't care about us as anything more than materialistic components in society.

"Marriage is bad" snip.

Marriage is actually quite advantageous to men, even if a minority of marriages are sexless. You have someone to support your physical and emotional needs. That's actually pretty nice. Starting a family tends to be useful in your old age as well, at least if the kids are decent human beings.

If one's kids are not decent human beings, they are either mentally ill or it's one's own damn fault


Or both.

[Fahran]

If one's kids are not decent human beings, they are either mentally ill or it's one's own damn fault


Or both.

That seems a bit absolutist and unfair. A parent is not always responsible for the behavior of their adult children.

[The Blaatschapen]

If one's kids are not decent human beings, they are either mentally ill or it's one's own damn fault


Or both.

That seems a bit absolutist and unfair. A parent is not always responsible for the behavior of their adult children.

I went a bit more strict than normal. I just don't want excuses for bad parenting.

[Fahran]

That seems a bit absolutist and unfair. A parent is not always responsible for the behavior of their adult children.

I went a bit more strict than normal. I just don't want excuses for bad parenting.

I concur.

On another note, say we implemented this insanity. I feel bad for the poor guy who winds up stuck with me.

And what about gay people and lesbians?

[Jarian]

I find the thought of being forced to marry someone random terrifying. No thanks. I see no benefits from marriage and fully understand why communities like MGTOW exist. I probably qualify for MGTOW, I don't think an ideal match exists for me and the risks of finding one are just too high.

What are the risks according to you?

(The lack of forum notifications makes replies hard)

The risks are false rape accusations, having kids and having the woman leave (you're paying either way), divorce & loss of money...
There's some major risks involved. I'm not saying that all women will do this, far from it, but it happens.
Odds are I'd be a victim because I wouldn't notice the signs.
I'd love a happy marriage, I guess, but I just don't see that happening.

[Fahran]

The risks are false rape accusations, having kids and having the woman leave (you're paying either way), divorce & loss of money...

You've got a fifty-fifty chance in regard to divorce, and, from what I've read, that's been improving in recent years. False rape accusations, especially from a spouse, are even rarer. You're probably more likely to actually be raped by your spouse in all honesty. Mind you, it shouldn't happen at all, but your fears are a bit exaggerated, especially given that married men are happier on average than unmarried men.

There's some major risks involved. I'm not saying that all women will do this, far from it, but it happens.
Odds are I'd be a victim because I wouldn't notice the signs.
I'd love a happy marriage, I guess, but I just don't see that happening.

You should perk up a bit. Why not go on a couple dates, have a bit of innocent fun, and see where it goes? You're still quite young if you're the average age of a poster on this site. I bet twenty dollars that it'll happen if you let it. And I'm Jewish. We don't spend that kinda money without a return.

[The Blaatschapen]

I went a bit more strict than normal. I just don't want excuses for bad parenting.

I concur.

On another note, say we implemented this insanity. I feel bad for the poor guy who winds up stuck with me.

And what about gay people and lesbians?

Come on, you can't be that bad.

[Fahran]

Come on, you can't be that bad.

That JAP life though.

[Hurdergaryp]

I concur.

On another note, say we implemented this insanity. I feel bad for the poor guy who winds up stuck with me.

And what about gay people and lesbians?

Come on, you can't be that bad.

She has a rather amazing signature, so the jury's still out on that one.

[The Blaatschapen]

Come on, you can't be that bad.

That JAP life though.

I've seen sketches of Sarah Silverman, I stand by my words.

[Korhal IVV]

I will have to disagree in that it is compulsory. People in general should be free to choose who to marry for and live with the rest of their lives. This is border Tau Empire-ish in that it basically has you go with people you don’t even know. It is not even a guarantee that the two of will like each other to begin with. This is just arranged marriage in backward nations with extra steps and paperwork as well as government sanctioning.

If this system is to implemented, it would be NGSB’s and NBSB’s that would do this voluntarily. Peope who are truly desperate would be able to volunteer for this lottery. K?

[Ethel mermania]

Come on, you can't be that bad.

She has a rather amazing signature, so the jury's still out on that one.

if i were 20 it would work for me.

[Fahran]

She has a rather amazing signature, so the jury's still out on that one.

if i were 20 it would work for me.

Ethel, Imma tell your wife.

I’ve never met her, but I know she exists from past conversations. Also, I can see these convos and I’m bad at getting attention, so... I look like a horse. Leave me alone. Neigh!

That JAP life though.

I've seen sketches of Sarah Silverman, I stand by my words.

I can confirm that I am not in fact Sarah Silverman, despite the numerous, abounding rumors.

Come on, you can't be that bad.

She has a rather amazing signature, so the jury's still out on that one.

All the neuroses in one fun-sized package of crazy.

[Ethel mermania]

if i were 20 it would work for me.

Ethel, Imma tell your wife.

I’ve never met her, but I know she exists from past conversations. Also, I can see these convos and I’m bad at getting attention, so... I look like a horse. Leave me alone. Neigh!

I've seen sketches of Sarah Silverman, I stand by my words.

I can confirm that I am not in fact Sarah Silverman, despite the numerous, abounding rumors.

She has a rather amazing signature, so the jury's still out on that one.

All the neuroses in one fun-sized package of crazy.

[Costa Fierro]

it does matter, insofar as it makes the difference between valid and invalid for universalist statements. ~P and P does not admit a state of mostly P.

It doesn't. If something exists but isn't statistically significant, then it becomes irrelevant.

[Kubra]

it does matter, insofar as it makes the difference between valid and invalid for universalist statements. ~P and P does not admit a state of mostly P.

It doesn't. If something exists but isn't statistically significant, then it becomes irrelevant.

It does not become irrelevant insofar as it is quite relevant to universal statements. You know, speaking in absolutes, saying "literally everyone", as opposed to "as a general rule" or "most everyone".
Again: P and ~P don't admit a state of kinda P. The state of P does not indiciate P 9/10 times and ~p for 1/10, it's P.

[Costa Fierro]

Marriage is actually quite advantageous to men, even if a minority of marriages are sexless. You have someone to support your physical and emotional needs. That's actually pretty nice. Starting a family tends to be useful in your old age as well, at least if the kids are decent human beings.

Marriage isn't advantageous for men at all. That would imply the positives outweigh the negatives and that simply isn't true. Married people are no more healthier than single people. Single people are almost always better off financially than married couples. Married couples have tax advantages but this is effectively cancelled out by having more expenses than single people, which expand considerably if the married couple has children. Being married also isn't a factor in life satisfaction. Quality of life often depends on having a good support network and if you have a poor support network, whether or not you are married doesn't affect life satisfaction. In fact, single people are now doing better than married people for the first time in a lot of areas.

And that's not even getting to the part of divorce. Contrary to popular belief, divorce isn't on the decline, as rates differ between different groups of people. Some groups have experienced declines, other groups have not. Divorce rates are called "crude" for a reason: they often look at the ratio between marriages and divorces and use that to form the divorce rate. Often that doesn't account whether a person is marrying for the first, second, or third time (both of which have divorce rates of 60% and 73% respectively) or doing the same thing with divorce. And if divorce happens, you can guarantee you will be taken to the cleaners in terms of what the judge grants to women in terms of alimony, child support, property, etc. And with the likelihood of divorce staying at 50% in the United States, should any man who knows the risks and the benefits of remaining single get married? My answer would be no.

Now, onto address your other arguments.

The reason that bitterness has become so customary among certain circles of young men and women is because significant portions of society have lost the ability to communicate in healthy ways.

I don't believe there's bitterness in men at all. More and more of them are looking at what women are offering these days, the pitfalls of being marriage and, by extension, being in relationships and deciding that it's not worth it anymore. For women, bitterness does exist insofar in that there is a small but increasing group of women who are not finding male partners. These women are often highly educated and have good careers, but cannot find partners simply because they have standards which still dictate the man has to have equal or superior education and income. However, women outnumber men in universities and women are increasingly earning more than their male graduates. This shrinks an already small pool of potential partners, resulting in women who are bitter because they're essentially leftovers.

Incels do not know how to behave as traditionally masculine men, do not know how to adjust to the modern dating scene, lack social/emotional support networks and foundations in their communities, and often have never had a meaningful conversation with a woman that was predicated on some sort of limerent attachment.

Incels behave, or at least believe in, ways that are converse to your assumption; the are often very, very conservative. Therefore they do not believe the modern dating scene is "moral" and want nothing to do with it because of perceived degeneracy. You are right in that they lack social and emotional support, but this is largely due to a combination of society not being willing to offer assistance to the kinds of disabilities and mental health conditions that many incels have, as well as their own lack of willingness to seek out help due to, again, their conservative beliefs of masculinity.

If you wanted to fix the problem

You'd start by promoting the idea that self satisfaction, self esteem and personal happiness comes from within and not from external validation.