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A Very Serious Topic
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:54 amby Mushet
Today is the 10th anniversary of my joining this website. I joined when I was a wee little 13 year old and this website, for better and worse, had some influence in my formative years to help make me the sad, pathetic man I am today. To celebrate this momentous occasion I had plans to make a good thread with a good topic. It didn't have to be completely original, but it had to be fresh, it had to be engaging, it had to be representative of my experience on this website and of the website as a whole. It didn't have to be the sort of topic NSG wants, rather the sort that NSG deserves.
Okay, let's talk about ass wiping.
Specifically let's talk about how we wipe our asses. It has to come to my attention that there are two major camps of ass wipers that are largely unaware of the other's existence, those who wipe their ass by sitting down, and those who stand up to do so. I am of the latter camp, and didn't even know that some people wipe their ass when they're still on the toilet until a few months ago. Generally we don't watch how other people wipe their asses, and this isn't exactly a subject broached in polite company. But we're not in polite company, we're on Nationstates! So let it all out NSG, spill the beans or corn if you ate a lot of it. I want to know how you guys wipe your asses, do you sit down, do you stand up, do you use a bidet, do you just leave it unwiped? Does this correlate with political persuasion? Do AnPrims squat down and only wipe with leaves and rocks? Are White Supremacists too opposed with soiling white toilet paper with brown excrement to wipe? Was hitler so grumpy because his asshole was so clogged up?
What say ye NSG?
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:55 amby Scottish Socialists
Easy.
Lean forward, wipe your butt, drop the paper below, stand up, flush.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:03 amby NeuPolska
I proudly stand and wipe, as I do appreciate the extra blood flow to my legs that the option grants me over just sitting down. I am also a proud user of baby/wet wipes, the ideal product with which to wipe.
Though when I was in Japan, I had some rather interesting experiences with the water jets that left me feeling rather violated but also squeaky clean.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:07 amby Qandaristania
Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?
Water gang for the win.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:10 amby NeuPolska
Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?
Water gang for the win.
Hence the wet wipes, the perfect medium between the two
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:12 amby Mzeusia
Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?
Water gang for the win.
So you use soap?
I use my trusted butler with his trusted soapy scour.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:16 amby Lolisokovia
You see, because i have an asian bathroom, there is a big water sprayer attached to the toilet.
Now once i've done my business, i grab this metal water sprayer, and spray my ass. for maximum cleanliness, i then apply toilet paper to my wet behind, and i dont go lightly on the amount i use.
it needs to be clean.
i never imagined i'd ever be explaining how i clean my ass after i go to the toilet.
but here i am, doing it.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:17 amby The Corparation
I didn't realize there were people who stood up to do the job.
Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?
Water gang for the win.
I have used toilet paper to wipe chocolate off my hand and at the end of it my hand was clean (Went camping and forgot to pack napkins) Was my hand perfectly clean? No, but I was no longer going to be smearing chocolate on everything I touched and I didn't need my hand to be 100% sterile.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:19 amby NeuPolska
Lolisokovia wrote:for maximum cleanliness, i then apply toilet paper to my wet behind, and i dont go lightly on the amount i use.
it
needs to be clean.
Uff I wouldn’t go so far.
That’s how you end up with all sorts of bad things. Treat your butts nicely, boys and girls.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:21 amby Garden at 6th Mile Road
Water and Soap, people! Yeah, I'm that weird guy.
I took a bit of soap on a tissue into the cubicle if the toilet has a bidet. Then, of course I used water and soap for that. Tissue is just to dry it off.
Nothing cleans better than water.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:25 amby The Alma Mater
In the Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America" there is a scene where the cleaning of the royal genitals is discussed.
That's how. Bottoms and penis alike.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:26 amby Falangist Yunnan
you do not simply wipe your ass.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:27 amby Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft
I sit and wipe. And why TF are we discussing this?
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:27 amby The Blaatschapen
I don't wipe my ass. My hooves can't reach that spot.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:29 amby The Corparation
Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft wrote:I sit and wipe. And why TF are we discussing this?
It's not like there's anything better to discuss here. Besides the usual horse carcass smashing sessions of course.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:30 amby Equatorial Green Stalagland
Very interesting, right?
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:30 amby Lolisokovia
Equatorial Green Stalagland wrote:Very interesting, right?
you still haven't revealed how you wipe your ass heheheheh
ergh
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:42 amby Goathalla
Happy 10th anniversary!
Back to the very serious topic. Since I'm a woman and I use a bidet, I have to wipe sitting down or else your waters will be dripping all over the place.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:42 amby Pope Joan
Occasional bathing is not a bad thing
and it can help atone for failed swipes.
My friends tell me that in the seedy Mexican towns they used to visit there were guys sitting on a stool in the rest room who would wipe you, for tips
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:44 amby Ralioskener
I use the bidet, then a thick roll of toilet paper. Done.
Oh, and I wipe standing up by the way.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:50 amby The Alma Mater
Lolisokovia wrote:Equatorial Green Stalagland wrote:Very interesting, right?
you still haven't revealed how you wipe your ass heheheheh
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg5kP5kvXpc
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:01 amby Albrenia
I use the Three Seashells.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:16 amby Dumb Ideologies
Mushet wrote:Today is the 10th anniversary of my joining this website. I joined when I was a wee little 13 year old and this website, for better and worse, had some influence in my formative years to help make me the sad, pathetic man I am today. To celebrate this momentous occasion I had plans to make a good thread with a good topic. It didn't have to be completely original, but it had to be fresh, it had to be engaging, it had to be representative of my experience on this website and of the website as a whole. It didn't have to be the sort of topic NSG wants, rather the sort that NSG deserves.
Okay, let's talk about ass wiping.
Specifically let's talk about
how we wipe our asses. It has to come to my attention that there are two major camps of ass wipers that are largely unaware of the other's existence, those who wipe their ass by sitting down, and those who stand up to do so. I am of the latter camp, and didn't even know that some people wipe their ass when they're still on the toilet until a few months ago. Generally we don't watch how other people wipe their asses, and this isn't exactly a subject broached in polite company. But we're not in polite company, we're on Nationstates! So let it all out NSG, spill the beans or corn if you ate a lot of it. I want to know how you guys wipe your asses, do you sit down, do you stand up, do you use a bidet, do you just leave it unwiped? Does this correlate with political persuasion? Do AnPrims squat down and only wipe with leaves and rocks? Are White Supremacists too opposed with soiling white toilet paper with brown excrement to wipe? Was hitler so grumpy because his asshole was so clogged up?
What say ye NSG?
Very revealing that you've chosen to associate the commemoration of 10 years with the false hope of wiping yourself clean of pooperooni.
Sit, lean forward, wipe with paper, flush, wash hands, smell hands, wash hands again.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:32 amby The Transhuman Union
YOU STAND UP AND WIPE. You don't wipe while sitting. That's HERESY.
Posted:
Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:49 pmby Mushet
Wow, 65 votes in and nobody rejects anal hygiene, maybe NSG agrees on something
