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A Very Serious Topic

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How do you wipe?

Sitting down
66
23%
Standing up
55
19%
I don't wipe my own ass! That's what the servants are for!
10
3%
I don't, I splash water up my ass
11
4%
I don't, I shoot water up my ass with a jet cuz my anal cleansing needs to sound badass
17
6%
I don't, Anal cleansing is for squares, like pants!
2
1%
I don't need to, my shit doesn't come out of my ass, it comes out of my NSG posts!
34
12%
I'm not telling you, you're a pervert!
32
11%
I'm not telling you, you were going to sell my info to Cambridge Analytica weren't you?
49
17%
Myrth
12
4%
 
Total votes : 288
User avatar
Ifreann
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 163844
Founded: Aug 07, 2005
Iron Fist Socialists

Postby Ifreann » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:52 pm

I am a superior human specimen and I do not defecate. Instead I eliminate waste by logging on to NSG.
He/Him

beating the devil
we never run from the devil
we never summon the devil
we never hide from from the devil
we never
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Katganistan
Senior Game Moderator
 
Posts: 36918
Founded: Antiquity
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Katganistan » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:54 pm

Apparently no one likes skid marks. :lol:
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Underdark Cave
Envoy
 
Posts: 223
Founded: Mar 01, 2015
Ex-Nation

Postby Underdark Cave » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:03 pm

I think countries that don't have bidets in 2018 should be classified as underdeveloped ones, and people that don't use them should be named barbarians.
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Dogmeat
Senator
 
Posts: 3638
Founded: Apr 01, 2018
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Dogmeat » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:04 pm

Well, I'm a dog, so...
Immortal God Dog
Hey boy, know any tricks?
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Diopolis
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17734
Founded: May 15, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Diopolis » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:30 pm

I squat and wipe while squatting. Much cleaner, and better for my colon.
Texas nationalist, right-wing technocrat, radical social conservative, post-liberal.
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Diopolis
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17734
Founded: May 15, 2012
Ex-Nation

Postby Diopolis » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:33 pm

Ifreann wrote:I am a superior human specimen and I do not defecate. Instead I eliminate waste by logging on to NSG.

Welcome, dear leader.
Texas nationalist, right-wing technocrat, radical social conservative, post-liberal.
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Fartsniffage
Post Czar
 
Posts: 42050
Founded: Dec 19, 2005
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Fartsniffage » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:38 pm

I grew up in a house without a toilet brush so I was never taught what one was actually for...
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Mushet
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 17410
Founded: Apr 29, 2008
Left-Leaning College State

Postby Mushet » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:20 pm

The blAAtschApen wrote:I don't wipe my ass. My hooves can't reach that spot.

Wait, so does the wool act like natural toilet paper or something?
"what I believe is like a box, and we’re taking the energy of our thinking and putting into a box of beliefs, pretending that we’re thinking...I’ve gone through most of my life not believing anything. Either I know or I don’t know, or I think." - John Trudell

Gun control is, and always has been, a tool of white supremacy.

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Ichiryuu
Political Columnist
 
Posts: 4
Founded: Apr 29, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Ichiryuu » Sun Apr 29, 2018 5:26 pm

Something is only wrong, if the result is varying like the options are.
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Ethel mermania
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 129504
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:22 pm

Mushet wrote:Wow, 65 votes in and nobody rejects anal hygiene, maybe NSG agrees on something :p


maybe we dont like pants
https://www.hvst.com/posts/the-clash-of ... s-wl2TQBpY

The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.
--S. Huntington

The most fundamental problem of politics is not the control of wickedness but the limitation of righteousness. 

--H. Kissenger
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The South Falls
Postmaster-General
 
Posts: 13353
Founded: Oct 18, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby The South Falls » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:23 pm

I decide to wipe me flank while standing. Sitting just covers my hands in shit, and it makes me want to shit more, when I'm sitting. I also think standing is better for circulation, which is cut off when I sit. It also better allows access to my butt.

I know that last line sounded like porn. I didn't intend it to.
This is an MT nation that reflects some of my beliefs, trade deals and debate always welcome! Call me TeaSF. A level 8, according to This Index.


Political Compass Results:

Economic: -5.5
Social Libertarian/Authoritarian: -4.51
I make dumb jokes. I'm really serious about that.
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Bombadil
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18711
Founded: Oct 13, 2011
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Bombadil » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:29 pm

At great expense I had a flexible ring with grooves implanted, I have another device that screws in and clasps a biodegradable paper bag. That way it's a smooth flow into the paper bag leaving no marks at all.

I then take that bag and leave it on my neighbours doorstep with a note like 'sandwiches inside', or sometimes I set it on fire and knock on the door.

All this because my neighbour has this irritating yapping dog.
Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..

十年
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San Marlindo
Ambassador
 
Posts: 1877
Founded: Dec 01, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby San Marlindo » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:31 pm

Bombadil wrote:At great expense I had a flexible ring with grooves implanted, I have another device that screws in and clasps a biodegradable paper bag. That way it's a smooth flow into the paper bag leaving no marks at all.

I then take that bag and leave it on my neighbours doorstep with a note like 'sandwiches inside', or sometimes I set it on fire and knock on the door.

All this because my neighbour has this irritating yapping dog.


Methinks you're a few flapjacks short of a stack. :twisted:
"Cold, analytical, materialistic thinking tends to throttle the urge to imagination." - Michael Chekhov
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Democratic Exodian Territories
Minister
 
Posts: 2710
Founded: Aug 29, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Democratic Exodian Territories » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:32 pm

It varies.
Normally, I do it sitting down.
But if I decide to perform any other *ahem* activities on the commode after I decide to commence my shitting, I’ll usually set my device on the table parallel to the toilet, then retrieve the wipes. After that, I clean my flanks and entire area under my torso with the alcoholic paper, then pitch it into the lantrine.
An early-PMT island-archipelago nation in the Gulf of Mexico with right-libertarian and neoconservative tendencies. Born on memes and guns by the British and Spanish but built for something deeper.
_[ ]_
(-_Q)
Only NS official Policy, Government, Economy stats used
FACTBOOKS ARE NOT CANON. Most forum posts are.
Angel's Alliance Founder.
#comeandtakeit
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Kramanica
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5369
Founded: Jan 27, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Kramanica » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:33 pm

Like I would wipe my own ass. That's what Codsworth is for.
Running out of nation names faster than I can think of them
American National Syndicalist
"B-but gun control works in Australia..."
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Bombadil
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 18711
Founded: Oct 13, 2011
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby Bombadil » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:35 pm

San Marlindo wrote:
Bombadil wrote:At great expense I had a flexible ring with grooves implanted, I have another device that screws in and clasps a biodegradable paper bag. That way it's a smooth flow into the paper bag leaving no marks at all.

I then take that bag and leave it on my neighbours doorstep with a note like 'sandwiches inside', or sometimes I set it on fire and knock on the door.

All this because my neighbour has this irritating yapping dog.


Methinks you're a few flapjacks short of a stack. :twisted:


At least I'm eco-friendly.
Eldest, that's what I am...Tom remembers the first raindrop and the first acorn...he knew the dark under the stars when it was fearless — before the Dark Lord came from Outside..

十年
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Hansdeltania
Diplomat
 
Posts: 891
Founded: May 17, 2014
Democratic Socialists

Postby Hansdeltania » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:41 pm

Does anybody use poop knives?
400+ hours PP-ASEL, IRA, P28A, C172, DA40, high-performance
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Turmenista
Negotiator
 
Posts: 5765
Founded: Apr 09, 2014
Ex-Nation

Postby Turmenista » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:44 pm

Oh god, are people starting to shitpost now?


I wipe
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Ethel mermania
Post Overlord
 
Posts: 129504
Founded: Aug 20, 2010
Father Knows Best State

Postby Ethel mermania » Sun Apr 29, 2018 6:49 pm

Bombadil wrote:
San Marlindo wrote:
Methinks you're a few flapjacks short of a stack. :twisted:


At least I'm eco-friendly.

and provide your own entertainment. it is the circle of life
https://www.hvst.com/posts/the-clash-of ... s-wl2TQBpY

The West won the world not by the superiority of its ideas or values or religion … but rather by its superiority in applying organized violence. Westerners often forget this fact; non-Westerners never do.
--S. Huntington

The most fundamental problem of politics is not the control of wickedness but the limitation of righteousness. 

--H. Kissenger
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Luziyca
Post Czar
 
Posts: 38280
Founded: Nov 13, 2011
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Luziyca » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:01 pm

I wipe sitting down.
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Democratic Exodian Territories
Minister
 
Posts: 2710
Founded: Aug 29, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby Democratic Exodian Territories » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:18 pm

Hansdeltania wrote:Does anybody use poop knives?

^this is beautiful
An early-PMT island-archipelago nation in the Gulf of Mexico with right-libertarian and neoconservative tendencies. Born on memes and guns by the British and Spanish but built for something deeper.
_[ ]_
(-_Q)
Only NS official Policy, Government, Economy stats used
FACTBOOKS ARE NOT CANON. Most forum posts are.
Angel's Alliance Founder.
#comeandtakeit
RBC News Channel, brought to you by Sapphire Systems Ltd:
| US President MacArthur doubles down on internal corruption | Aid sent to Nicaragua after Tropical Storm Marta | Stocks down 2 points |
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-United Republic of Freedonia
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 368
Founded: Jan 01, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby -United Republic of Freedonia » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:21 pm

Darn perverts!, DON'T MESS WITH MY FUNNY HOLE!.

Turmenista wrote:Oh god, are people starting to shitpost now?

It's kinda strange that there's more threads like this, in this time around.
The mods don't deserve to clean this crap.
The United Republic of Freedonia:
"I respect three things: Strength, Justice,America and Lasagna."-Garfield

Join The Labyrinth, i'm not there anymore but they are cool, so check them out at least
i'm rebooting this shit, we are in Venus now
just a friend of vaspelia, really
>wO
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Dogmeat
Senator
 
Posts: 3638
Founded: Apr 01, 2018
Left-wing Utopia

Postby Dogmeat » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:25 pm

Kramanica wrote:Like I would wipe my own ass. That's what Codsworth is for.

Make sure he doesn't use the saw attachment.
Immortal God Dog
Hey boy, know any tricks?
天狗
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Krasny-Volny
Minister
 
Posts: 3200
Founded: Nov 20, 2010
Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Krasny-Volny » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:23 pm

Kramanica wrote:Like I would wipe my own ass. That's what Codsworth is for.


*Fisto
Krastecexport. Cheap armaments for the budget minded, sold with discretion.
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West Leas Oros
Minister
 
Posts: 2597
Founded: Jul 17, 2017
Ex-Nation

Postby West Leas Oros » Sun Apr 29, 2018 9:27 pm

Kramanica wrote:Like I would wipe my own ass. That's what Codsworth is for.

TFW You name your character Assface and Codsworth be like “MISTER ASSFACE”
Just your friendly neighborhood democratic socialist revisionist traitor.
PMT nation. Economically to the left of Karl Marx. Social justice is a bourgeois plot.
Brothers and sisters are natural enemies, like fascists and communists. Or libertarians and communists. Or social democrats and communists. Or communists and other communists! Damn commies, they ruined communism!"

The Xenopolis Confederation wrote:Oros, no. Please. You were the chosen one. You were meant to debunk the tankies, not join them. Bring balance to the left, not leave it in darkness.

WLO Public News: Protest turns violent as Orosian Anarchists burn building. 2 found dead, 8 injured. Investigation continues.
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