NATION

PASSWORD

A Very Serious Topic

For discussion and debate about anything. (Not a roleplay related forum; out-of-character commentary only.)

How do you wipe?

Sitting down
63
23%
Standing up
53
19%
I don't wipe my own ass! That's what the servants are for!
10
4%
I don't, I splash water up my ass
9
3%
I don't, I shoot water up my ass with a jet cuz my anal cleansing needs to sound badass
17
6%
I don't, Anal cleansing is for squares, like pants!
2
1%
I don't need to, my shit doesn't come out of my ass, it comes out of my NSG posts!
33
12%
I'm not telling you, you're a pervert!
32
12%
I'm not telling you, you were going to sell my info to Cambridge Analytica weren't you?
47
17%
Myrth
11
4%
 
Total votes : 277

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Mushet
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 16834
Founded: Apr 29, 2008
Anarchy

A Very Serious Topic

Postby Mushet » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:54 am

Today is the 10th anniversary of my joining this website. I joined when I was a wee little 13 year old and this website, for better and worse, had some influence in my formative years to help make me the sad, pathetic man I am today. To celebrate this momentous occasion I had plans to make a good thread with a good topic. It didn't have to be completely original, but it had to be fresh, it had to be engaging, it had to be representative of my experience on this website and of the website as a whole. It didn't have to be the sort of topic NSG wants, rather the sort that NSG deserves.

Okay, let's talk about ass wiping.

Specifically let's talk about how we wipe our asses. It has to come to my attention that there are two major camps of ass wipers that are largely unaware of the other's existence, those who wipe their ass by sitting down, and those who stand up to do so. I am of the latter camp, and didn't even know that some people wipe their ass when they're still on the toilet until a few months ago. Generally we don't watch how other people wipe their asses, and this isn't exactly a subject broached in polite company. But we're not in polite company, we're on Nationstates! So let it all out NSG, spill the beans or corn if you ate a lot of it. I want to know how you guys wipe your asses, do you sit down, do you stand up, do you use a bidet, do you just leave it unwiped? Does this correlate with political persuasion? Do AnPrims squat down and only wipe with leaves and rocks? Are White Supremacists too opposed with soiling white toilet paper with brown excrement to wipe? Was hitler so grumpy because his asshole was so clogged up?

What say ye NSG?
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Scottish Socialists
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Founded: Dec 27, 2016
Scandinavian Liberal Paradise

Postby Scottish Socialists » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:55 am

Easy.
Lean forward, wipe your butt, drop the paper below, stand up, flush.
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NeuPolska
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Posts: 8591
Founded: Jun 09, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby NeuPolska » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:03 am

I proudly stand and wipe, as I do appreciate the extra blood flow to my legs that the option grants me over just sitting down. I am also a proud user of baby/wet wipes, the ideal product with which to wipe.

Though when I was in Japan, I had some rather interesting experiences with the water jets that left me feeling rather violated but also squeaky clean.

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Qandaristania
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Founded: Dec 27, 2014
Psychotic Dictatorship

Postby Qandaristania » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:07 am

Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?

Water gang for the win.
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NeuPolska
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Founded: Jun 09, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby NeuPolska » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:10 am

Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?

Water gang for the win.

Hence the wet wipes, the perfect medium between the two

Please, call me POLSKA
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Kar-Esseria wrote:Who is that and are they female because if not then they can go make love to their hand.

Impaled Nazarene wrote:Go home Polska wins NS.

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Impaled Nazarene wrote:Hurd you miss the point more than Polska misses Poland.
Rhodesialund wrote:when you have Charlie ten feet away or something operating operationally.
Nirvash Type TheEND wrote:Gayla is living in 1985 but these guys are already in 1916

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Mzeusia
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Posts: 295
Founded: Oct 30, 2017
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Mzeusia » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:12 am

Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?

Water gang for the win.

So you use soap?

I use my trusted butler with his trusted soapy scour.
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Lolisokovia
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 9
Founded: Apr 25, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Lolisokovia » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:16 am

You see, because i have an asian bathroom, there is a big water sprayer attached to the toilet.
Now once i've done my business, i grab this metal water sprayer, and spray my ass. for maximum cleanliness, i then apply toilet paper to my wet behind, and i dont go lightly on the amount i use.
it needs to be clean.
i never imagined i'd ever be explaining how i clean my ass after i go to the toilet.
but here i am, doing it.
Let's keep this message short and simple with no fancy decorations and HTML coding.
(A down to earth, bland signature that doesn't look much aesthetically pleasing. oh wait, i just used some HTML codes. oh well)

And here is the message: Liking lolis doesn't mean you are a pedo, just like how liking first person shooters doesn't mean you like killing people

hahaha, who'd actually watch loli anime, what are you even talking about, police officer?

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The Corparation
Post Czar
 
Posts: 33857
Founded: Aug 31, 2009
Corporate Police State

Postby The Corparation » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:17 am

I didn't realize there were people who stood up to do the job.

Qandaristania wrote:Tbh wiping isn't an optimal way of cleaning and doesn't actually clean your ass. I mean, if you got chocolate on your hands, would you use toilet paper to wipe it off?

Water gang for the win.

I have used toilet paper to wipe chocolate off my hand and at the end of it my hand was clean (Went camping and forgot to pack napkins) Was my hand perfectly clean? No, but I was no longer going to be smearing chocolate on everything I touched and I didn't need my hand to be 100% sterile.
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NeuPolska
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Posts: 8591
Founded: Jun 09, 2013
Inoffensive Centrist Democracy

Postby NeuPolska » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:19 am

Lolisokovia wrote:for maximum cleanliness, i then apply toilet paper to my wet behind, and i dont go lightly on the amount i use.
it needs to be clean.

Uff I wouldn’t go so far.

That’s how you end up with all sorts of bad things. Treat your butts nicely, boys and girls.

Please, call me POLSKA
U.S. Army Enlisted
Kar-Esseria wrote:Who is that and are they female because if not then they can go make love to their hand.

Impaled Nazarene wrote:Go home Polska wins NS.

Cosumar wrote:If anyone even thinks about my favorite band, I can sense it.

Impaled Nazarene wrote:Hurd you miss the point more than Polska misses Poland.
Rhodesialund wrote:when you have Charlie ten feet away or something operating operationally.
Nirvash Type TheEND wrote:Gayla is living in 1985 but these guys are already in 1916

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Garden at 6th Mile Road
Chargé d'Affaires
 
Posts: 476
Founded: Sep 20, 2017
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby Garden at 6th Mile Road » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:21 am

Water and Soap, people! Yeah, I'm that weird guy.

I took a bit of soap on a tissue into the cubicle if the toilet has a bidet. Then, of course I used water and soap for that. Tissue is just to dry it off.

Nothing cleans better than water.
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The Alma Mater
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 15845
Founded: May 23, 2004
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby The Alma Mater » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:25 am

In the Eddie Murphy movie "Coming to America" there is a scene where the cleaning of the royal genitals is discussed.

That's how. Bottoms and penis alike.
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Falangist Yunnan
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Posts: 9
Founded: Mar 02, 2018
Democratic Socialists

Postby Falangist Yunnan » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:26 am

you do not simply wipe your ass.
the ass wipes you.
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Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft
Minister
 
Posts: 3374
Founded: Jul 14, 2016
Ex-Nation

Postby Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:27 am

I sit and wipe. And why TF are we discussing this?

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The blAAtschApen
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Posts: 50414
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Forumer Mod

Postby The blAAtschApen » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:27 am

I don't wipe my ass. My hooves can't reach that spot.
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The Corparation
Post Czar
 
Posts: 33857
Founded: Aug 31, 2009
Corporate Police State

Postby The Corparation » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:29 am

Constitutional Technocracy of Minecraft wrote:I sit and wipe. And why TF are we discussing this?

It's not like there's anything better to discuss here. Besides the usual horse carcass smashing sessions of course.
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Equatorial Green Stalagland
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Mar 07, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Equatorial Green Stalagland » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:30 am

Very interesting, right?

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Lolisokovia
Civil Servant
 
Posts: 9
Founded: Apr 25, 2018
Ex-Nation

Postby Lolisokovia » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:30 am

Equatorial Green Stalagland wrote:Very interesting, right?

you still haven't revealed how you wipe your ass heheheheh
Let's keep this message short and simple with no fancy decorations and HTML coding.
(A down to earth, bland signature that doesn't look much aesthetically pleasing. oh wait, i just used some HTML codes. oh well)

And here is the message: Liking lolis doesn't mean you are a pedo, just like how liking first person shooters doesn't mean you like killing people

hahaha, who'd actually watch loli anime, what are you even talking about, police officer?

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Goathalla
Civilian
 
Posts: 1
Founded: Apr 22, 2018
Ex-Nation

ergh

Postby Goathalla » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:42 am

Happy 10th anniversary!

Back to the very serious topic. Since I'm a woman and I use a bidet, I have to wipe sitting down or else your waters will be dripping all over the place.

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Pope Joan
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 19035
Founded: Mar 11, 2009
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Pope Joan » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:42 am

Occasional bathing is not a bad thing

and it can help atone for failed swipes.

My friends tell me that in the seedy Mexican towns they used to visit there were guys sitting on a stool in the rest room who would wipe you, for tips
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Ralioskener
Diplomat
 
Posts: 599
Founded: Jan 22, 2016
New York Times Democracy

Postby Ralioskener » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:44 am

I use the bidet, then a thick roll of toilet paper. Done.
Oh, and I wipe standing up by the way.
Last edited by Ralioskener on Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
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The Alma Mater
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 15845
Founded: May 23, 2004
Liberal Democratic Socialists

Postby The Alma Mater » Sun Apr 29, 2018 3:50 am

Lolisokovia wrote:
Equatorial Green Stalagland wrote:Very interesting, right?

you still haven't revealed how you wipe your ass heheheheh


https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xg5kP5kvXpc
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Albrenia
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Founded: Aug 18, 2017
Civil Rights Lovefest

Postby Albrenia » Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:01 am

I use the Three Seashells.

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Dumb Ideologies
Post Czar
 
Posts: 37224
Founded: Sep 30, 2007
Mother Knows Best State

Postby Dumb Ideologies » Sun Apr 29, 2018 4:16 am

Mushet wrote:Today is the 10th anniversary of my joining this website. I joined when I was a wee little 13 year old and this website, for better and worse, had some influence in my formative years to help make me the sad, pathetic man I am today. To celebrate this momentous occasion I had plans to make a good thread with a good topic. It didn't have to be completely original, but it had to be fresh, it had to be engaging, it had to be representative of my experience on this website and of the website as a whole. It didn't have to be the sort of topic NSG wants, rather the sort that NSG deserves.

Okay, let's talk about ass wiping.

Specifically let's talk about how we wipe our asses. It has to come to my attention that there are two major camps of ass wipers that are largely unaware of the other's existence, those who wipe their ass by sitting down, and those who stand up to do so. I am of the latter camp, and didn't even know that some people wipe their ass when they're still on the toilet until a few months ago. Generally we don't watch how other people wipe their asses, and this isn't exactly a subject broached in polite company. But we're not in polite company, we're on Nationstates! So let it all out NSG, spill the beans or corn if you ate a lot of it. I want to know how you guys wipe your asses, do you sit down, do you stand up, do you use a bidet, do you just leave it unwiped? Does this correlate with political persuasion? Do AnPrims squat down and only wipe with leaves and rocks? Are White Supremacists too opposed with soiling white toilet paper with brown excrement to wipe? Was hitler so grumpy because his asshole was so clogged up?

What say ye NSG?


Very revealing that you've chosen to associate the commemoration of 10 years with the false hope of wiping yourself clean of pooperooni.

Sit, lean forward, wipe with paper, flush, wash hands, smell hands, wash hands again.
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The Transhuman Union
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Founded: Aug 21, 2017
New York Times Democracy

Postby The Transhuman Union » Sun Apr 29, 2018 8:32 am

YOU STAND UP AND WIPE. You don't wipe while sitting. That's HERESY.
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Mushet
Post Marshal
 
Posts: 16834
Founded: Apr 29, 2008
Anarchy

Postby Mushet » Sun Apr 29, 2018 2:49 pm

Wow, 65 votes in and nobody rejects anal hygiene, maybe NSG agrees on something :p
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