NationStates

Geneviev wrote:

Farnhamia wrote:Yes, giving new life to the song, "Oh My Darling Clementine."

Exactly, yes.

Gim wrote:

The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp wrote:

How are you?

Farnhamia wrote:

Luziyca wrote:Indeed.

Slight toothache right now: I'll blame the two slices of banana bread I had this morning. A shame that it's almost tooth-hurty...

So go brush your teeth.

Pax Nerdvana wrote:I went paintballing today. It's fun, but tiring.

Luziyca wrote:

Pax Nerdvana wrote:I went paintballing today. It's fun, but tiring.

Good for you. I had to get a document needed for taxes to be done. At least in a few days, that madness will be over... until next year.

Pax Nerdvana wrote:

Luziyca wrote:Good for you. I had to get a document needed for taxes to be done. At least in a few days, that madness will be over... until next year.

Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

Ethel mermania wrote:

Pax Nerdvana wrote:Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

CICS and db2 work fine

Ethel mermania wrote:

Pax Nerdvana wrote:Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

CICS and db2 work fine

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions.

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?"

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet.

"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

Pax Nerdvana wrote:

Ethel mermania wrote:CICS and db2 work fine

They are more difficult to hack.

Farnhamia wrote:

Ethel mermania wrote:CICS and db2 work fine

Put them on a decent platform and you should be good for the next thousand years.

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions.

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?"

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet.

"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

Farnhamia wrote:http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Ethel mermania wrote:

Pax Nerdvana wrote:They are more difficult to hack.

With enough time and effort, Anything can be hacked

Ethel mermania wrote:

Farnhamia wrote:http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Heh, thanks

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

Farnhamia wrote:http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Pax Nerdvana wrote:

Farnhamia wrote:http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Those were pretty good jokes.

Farnhamia wrote:

Geneviev wrote: Exactly, yes.

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

Auze wrote:

Farnhamia wrote:Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

I don't remember if from the book.

Farnhamia wrote:

Geneviev wrote: Exactly, yes.

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp wrote:

Dylar wrote:I've finally found it! Now I'm able to make-a the pizza!!! And conquer the world in HOI4 as Italy

Dylar is best mussolini.

Dylar wrote:

The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp wrote:Dylar is best mussolini.

I mean if I can take over Greece in one swift strike, then I'm even better than Mussolini!

Farnhamia wrote:

Dylar wrote:I mean if I can take over Greece in one swift strike, then I'm even better than Mussolini!

Pro tip: stay out of the mountains.

Norstal wrote:

Farnhamia wrote:Pro tip: stay out of the mountains.

But the view is great there.