TET: May - Mexico, Mothers, Memorials

[Farnhamia]

Yes, giving new life to the song, "Oh My Darling Clementine."

Exactly, yes.

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

How are you?

good you?

[Luziyca]

Indeed.

Slight toothache right now: I'll blame the two slices of banana bread I had this morning. A shame that it's almost tooth-hurty...

So go brush your teeth.

I did do that. The aching is gone.

[Pax Nerdvana]

I went paintballing today. It's fun, but tiring.

[Luziyca]

I went paintballing today. It's fun, but tiring.

Good for you. I had to get a document needed for taxes to be done. At least in a few days, that madness will be over... until next year.

[Pax Nerdvana]

I went paintballing today. It's fun, but tiring.

Good for you. I had to get a document needed for taxes to be done. At least in a few days, that madness will be over... until next year.

Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

[Ethel mermania]

Good for you. I had to get a document needed for taxes to be done. At least in a few days, that madness will be over... until next year.

Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

CICS and db2 work fine

[Pax Nerdvana]

Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

CICS and db2 work fine

They are more difficult to hack.

[Farnhamia]

Stupid taxes. Fun fact: as of 2015, the IRS was still using computers from the '80s.

CICS and db2 work fine

Put them on a decent platform and you should be good for the next thousand years.

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions.

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?"

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet.

"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

[Ethel mermania]

CICS and db2 work fine

They are more difficult to hack.

With enough time and effort, Anything can be hacked

[Ethel mermania]

CICS and db2 work fine

Put them on a decent platform and you should be good for the next thousand years.

Jack was a COBOL programmer in the mid to late 1990s. After years of being taken for granted and treated as a technological dinosaur by all the Client/Server programmers and website developers, he was finally getting some respect. He'd become a private consultant specializing in Year 2000 conversions.

Several years of this relentless, mind-numbing work had taken its toll on Jack. He began having anxiety dreams about the Year 2000. All he could think about was how he could avoid the year 2000 and all that came with it.

Jack decided to contact a company that specialized in cryogenics. He made a deal to have himself frozen until March 15th, 2000. The next thing he would know is he'd wake up in the year 2000; after the New Year celebrations and computer debacles; after the leap day. Nothing else to worry about except getting on with his life.

He was put into his cryogenic receptacle, the technicians set the revive date, he was given injections to slow his heartbeat to a bare minimum, and that was that.

The next thing that Jack saw was an enormous and very modern room filled with excited people. They were all shouting "I can't believe it!" and "It's a miracle" and "He's alive!". There were cameras (unlike any he'd ever seen) and equipment that looked like it came out of a science fiction movie.

Someone who was obviously a spokesperson for the group stepped forward. Jack couldn't contain his enthusiasm. "Is it over?" he asked. "Is the year 2000 already here? Are all the millennial parties and promotions and crises all over and done with?"

The spokesman explained that there had been a problem with the programming of the timer on Jack's cryogenic receptacle, it hadn't been year 2000 compliant. It was actually eight thousand years later, not the year 2000. Technology had advanced to such a degree that everyone had virtual reality interfaces which allowed them to contact anyone else on the planet.

"That sounds terrific," said Jack. "But I'm curious. Why is everybody so interested in me?"

"Well," said the spokesman. "The year 10000 is just around the corner, and it says in your files that you know COBOL".

Fucking fixed data fields.

[Farnhamia]

http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

[Ethel mermania]

http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Heh, thanks

[Garden at 6th Mile Road]

They are more difficult to hack.

With enough time and effort, Anything can be hacked

"Everything can be hacked, and everyone."

On that note, it starts to ring true nowadays. You can hack a thing, and you can hack people's computers, laptops, phones, and it'll cripple them in this day and age. Blackhat hacking is definitely a stain.

[Farnhamia]

http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Heh, thanks

Liked this one, too.

A grade school teacher was asking his pupils what their parents did for a living. "Tim, you be first. What does your mother do all day?"
Tim stood up and proudly said, "She's a doctor."
"That's wonderful. How about you, Amy?"
Amy shyly stood up, scuffed her feet and said, "My father is a mailman."
"Thank you, Amy" said the teacher. "What does your parent do, Billy?"
Billy proudly stood up and announced, "My daddy plays piano in a whorehouse."

The teacher was aghast and went to Billy's house and rang the bell. Billy's father answered the door. The teacher explained what his son had said and demanded an explanation. Billy's dad said, "I'm actually a system programmer specializing in TCP/IP communication protocol on UNIX systems. How can I explain a thing like that to a seven-year-old?"

[Pax Nerdvana]

http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Those were pretty good jokes.

[Luziyca]

http://www.workjoke.com/programmers-jokes.html

Those were pretty good jokes.

Yes, yes they were.

I hate the fact I got Subway for lunch and now want to order supper, but can't because I only got a couple of bucks and there's nothing in the house that I am willing to eat...

[Auze]

Exactly, yes.

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

I don't remember if from the book.

[Farnhamia]

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

I don't remember if from the book.

I knew that was going to happen. I meant The Book of Mormon as in the musical. I should have been more clear.

[Geneviev]

Exactly, yes.

Is there an answer to the Book of Mormon question in your signature? Or is more like a zen koan?

The only answer is the Book of Arnold. There's no answer that makes any sense, anyways, because that musical was written by Trey Parker, Robert Lopez, and Matt Stone. Matt Stone especially.

[Dylar]

I've finally found it! Now I'm able to make-a the pizza!!! And conquer the world in HOI4 as Italy

Dylar is best mussolini.

I mean if I can take over Greece in one swift strike, then I'm even better than Mussolini!

[Auremena]

My best friend and I finally did a karaoke duet. Most of the verses were cut out, prolly cause we were smashed.

[Farnhamia]

Dylar is best mussolini.

I mean if I can take over Greece in one swift strike, then I'm even better than Mussolini!

Pro tip: stay out of the mountains.

[Norstal]

I mean if I can take over Greece in one swift strike, then I'm even better than Mussolini!

Pro tip: stay out of the mountains.

But the view is great there.

[Farnhamia]

Pro tip: stay out of the mountains.

But the view is great there.

For a while.