I've come across this Youtube channel relatively recently called BasedShaman. Over time, I've found that he speaks certain profound truths that can help people in their lives. Some of his content is so good, that I feel it fit that this piece perhaps merits some further discussion on this forum as to whether it really works or not in people's experience.
Relevant video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MIV3UdAClXA
As the "involuntary celibate" phenomenon proves, there is a sizable minority of people out there who just can't get a relationship no matter what regardless of how much they desire one. "It is so difficult and complicated, so unfair, it is an injustice! Blah blah blah." People have heard it all before. But the theory I think is true- is that those people simply don't know the keys to becoming successful at that endeavor or are unwilling to put in the work to make progress in that regard. This can be thought of as what should perhaps be taught in high school but isn't.
As a disclaimer, I'm no lady; so I can't say whether or not the same exact rules apply for women or not- but it definitely can apply to single men and could probably help anyone should they actually take steps to improve instead of stubbornly holding onto old habits. You may want a relationship and expect at least someone else to somehow pick up on that- but it just isn't how real life works. Rather, you have to become someone other people want to be around.
Following this, there should be absolutely no trouble in being attractive. For anyone who wants a relationship but struggles, this is for you:
There are 3 primary things in your life that you will need to fix which can be divided into the following: Looks, Personality, and Money. Someone can be deficient in any one of them or all of them, but it is still possible to improve on all of it generally speaking; regardless of where you're at now. You have potential that can truly be harnessed given enough time and effort on remaking yourself.
Looks: Your physical appearance determines a ton in life, people are visual creatures to some extent like it or not. Looks can be divided even further into sub components which are the following: Fitness, Aesthetics, Style, and Hygiene. Each of these will determine your looks. Some of the sub components can be further divided even more. We'll go into detail as we go further down the data tree.
Fitness- What determines physical fitness? This encompasses the following: Nutrition, and Workout Routine. You can't become physically fit if you eat junk food or are making poor decisions about what you eat, what you're putting into your body. Treating your body like a temple will get you more progress than not. You also can't become fit if you don't exercise. If you become physically fit, you will become stronger, feel better, and improve your health generally speaking. Others will see you differently, and you will see yourself differently for the better. Helps to develop confidence.
Aesthetics- This partially ties into your Fitness but involves other minor aspects of your Looks. Are you taking care of your hair? Are you washing your face, are you grooming yourself to look and smell good? These are all things you can do to improve your existing looks and how other people will see you.
Style- Style can be comprised of the following: Clothing, car, and home.
On Clothing- Some men who have problems with women wear ridiculous clothing because they're fashion illiterate or simply don't care and wear whatever. Using the internet or other resources: you will need to intentionally familiarize yourself with what makes for a good choice of clothing and what doesn't in order for other people to look more favorably on you when you go out in public. You will impress more people if you know how to dress yourself properly.
On Car- what type of automobile you drive can tell people a lot about you. I would say that it is more important to have a car period, but if you have a nice looking car, that is a bonus. It is often a deal breaker for people if they know that you don't have a car. It means that you can't pick them up and you're not able to travel long distances on your own. It is a major hassle to not have a car if you don't live in some major city with public transit.
On Home- what type of residence you live at, will matter with regards to what people will think about you if they come to visit. It is a huge turn off if you're still living with your parents and aren't living on your own. A woman might think- "if you can't take care of yourself, how can you take care of me?" Your living accommodations will tell people how you live at which point, they can be impressed or repelled by it. A clean room will obviously be better than a messy or dirty room.
Hygiene- This is a given in that you should be doing it anyways. Brush and floss your teeth, get a good haircut, shower daily, shave or groom your facial hair. Really invest time in keeping yourself looking good. It shows people that you're taking care of yourself to some extent if you put in effort to not have body odor, dandruff, acne, etc.
Personality: We are finally on our second major branch to be improved upon. Your personality. Some people have the looks, but have no personality, that is okay. But until you develop one or invest in improving on it, you will not make the progress you hope for. Personality will be determined by your personal development. Which is the collective skills, knowledge, experience, etc. asides from just your attitude or life outlook that you've collected for yourself over the years.
Personal development- This will consist of: Videos, Mentors, Books, and Courses. All of these things can help and we'll go more into detail.
On Videos- You can watch videos about any topic and learn that way if you're a visual or auditory learner. There are endless hours of video online that can help you learn useful skills or knowledge that you can potentially put to use. For some people, it may well be their primary source of information.
On Mentors- Look up to truly successful people but still forge your own path to success. You want to admire winners, people who've objectively achieved their own success. If you look up to a loser like Elliot Rodger or someone who has failed, you will lose because you will take their losing ways to heart which won't be good for you at all. Having a mentor who is a winner, you will want to learn from their successes and failures but still work out what works best for you. A good mentor is key. This will be your Jedi Master figuratively speaking, you are the Apprentice.
On Books- Use regular books if you find the material contained within to be useful to you. This is just another resource asides from video.
On Courses- This unfortunately costs money, but if you're not just starting out and are able to take useful courses that will help you, it is advised to do so. This is another resource asides from lower to no cost methods such as books and video. It is an option for perhaps later when you have money.
Money: Last but not least, is money! Money is perhaps the most important aspect of your life asides from Looks. You will need to gradually learn how to acquire money and how to manage it if you're ever to become more successful in life. How do people get money? People usually get money in the following ways: Inheritance, or a Job. Having financial independence enables more people to respect you.
Inheritance- You might be lucky enough to have inherited a fortune, if so- GREAT! But you would need to figure out how not to waste it. If you spend all of your money, then it is all gone of course. Then you would need... a job.
Jobs- For most people or for nearly everyone else asides from the wealthy, we all need jobs. How do people get jobs? It isn't so clear cut, but the following methods have been observed for forever: Entrepreneurship, School, or Connections.
On Entrepreneur- This is where you come up with a business plan that will hopefully be successful enough to sustain yourself. This is very risky and there is absolutely no guarantee of success but a higher chance for failure. But it is entirely up to you to make things happen where people pay you money for a product or service that you have personally come up with. You set your own hours and put in whatever amount of work you feel is necessary to make it a success.
On School- This is the traditional path to employment. We do however, now live in a world where a college degree will not necessarily land you a job or improve your economic prospects at all. Degree inflation is now a thing. If you're becoming a doctor, dentist, lawyer, or etc. this might be the ideal path that will work for you. A trade school can also help. If not, you will unfortunately have to go back to the drawing board or rely on the next and final method.
On Connections- This is how most people these days supposedly land a job, you know someone who knows someone who is in a position to potentially hire you. If you know the right people, you will have more of a chance at landing a particular job. A lot of people (myself included) hate this networking stuff with a passion, but until we find value in really attempting to learn this process and build our network- we will not make the progress we want until we do.
Doing the work to improve on all of this: Your Looks, Personality, and Money. You should have absolutely no trouble in acquiring a significant other. You will be equipped with everything you need should you decide to then put yourself out there after honing your trifecta. If you talk to other people and ask someone out. Your chances will be much better if you yourself- are already appealing objectively speaking.
Be honest with yourself. Look at it from the outside. Don't think that you are God's gift to the world just because you alone like yourself as you are. What value do you really add to this world? What have you really accomplished?
If you can satisfactorily answer those questions, you are ready.
As you get older, it becomes increasingly more important to sort out these aspects of your life.
What do you think of all of this? Is it valid advice that works, or are there some situations where none of it will help enable someone to make progress on becoming successful in general? What would your experiences be on this?
I think that it is zero sum in that not everyone will be capable of becoming as successful as certain other people. It is probably a fact that some people are bound to fail more than others. But I'd say it is untrue that it is impossible to make any progress or to find more success if you proactively work to improve on different aspects of yourself.
I've gotten education but I'm not good at being able to market it effectively and I'm not particularly good at entrepreneurship or social networking, so my money situation is absolutely horrible. To make up for this deficit, I've been working on my personal development. The hope is that I'll eventually find a real useful skill or bit of key knowledge with which I could use for a job that needs doing. The other aspect I can focus on is Looks, but some of it can't be done unless I have money. So it'd seem that my personality should get the most priority from myself for the time being.
I've been exercising more and researching better outfits and I haven't noticed any drastic changes so far, but it would seem that I get a tiny bit less disrespect now. It could just be a placebo effect, but I do want to continue on this more. If I could get only one but I had to sacrifice the other two- I'd pick money. I really want no problems with money, but that is probably what I lack most in. I just know I need money to progress more on Looks but not as much for personal development.
