What is your thought on marriage?

[United Islamic Commonwealth]

Why even get married unless it's a religious thing for you? Seems easy to be common law married (if your jurisdiction allows it) or just be partners. I mean if you really want to get married go ahead but not being married seems a lot easier in terms of finances and in regards to the deterioration of the relationship.

Then again my moms been married 4 times so I'm under no illusion that I'm not being absolutely biased in this regard.

Insurance, religion, finances, etc.

[New haven america]

Um, there are tons of reasons why that would be the case.

There are some countries that don't allow divorce, some people can't divorced on religious grounds, or maybe there are financial or social reasons why someone couldn't get divorced, the list goes on and on. Anyway, there are tons of viable reasons why people could be trapped in a marriage even if they wanted to get out.

1. The only country in the world that outlaws divorce is the Philippines.
2. Then you might want to reconsider your religion if it forces you to stay in an unhappy marriage.
3. Like what financial or social reasons?

1. Doesn't change the fact that it still happens
2. Would you stop being a Muslim if Islam didn't allow divorce?
3. You might loose all your money or possessions, you might not have money to get the proper lawyers and pay various fees, having to deal with contracts that both partner's signed, maybe living in more religious area where divorce's are seen as failure or people could label you and an adulterer (This is very common in certain Christian areas), the list goes on...

[NeoOasis]

If you're talking about California, Texas, New York, and Illinois, you can probably explain those high numbers away with high population counts... the Southeast, doesn't quite have as large a population, yet their rates are as high or surpass those other states we can see. Imagine how much higher it would be if New York took an Alabama approach to sex ed.

What about Alaska and New Mexico?

I'm sure you can figure something out. For example Alaska's rural population lends itself to some weird statistics for homicide. As for New Mexico... could be any number of factors that go beyond highschool education, such a potentially high dropout rate meaning kids never experience sex ed... or high rate of poverty means schools rarely ever cover sex ed in any real detail.

I accept that safe sex-ed isn't perfect, but it seems to be doing something as opposed to nothing. Take note that the list mostly includes states in the southeast... which have a heavy focus on absitence if any sex ed at all. I speak from personal experience in this case. My school system conveniently "forgot" the sex ed course... I am from the Southeast.

[Donut section]

Was they aware of this before they got married? Cause this is leading into more than a whoopsie I dun goofed situation.

You do understand that humans change emotionally, right? I bet that there are foods, shows/movies, hobbies, etc... that you loved 10 years ago that you probably don't like or hate today.

Guess what? That can happen with people too. One partner can be perfectly loving and caring before or at the start of the marriage, and change to become a more closed off or unsympathetic person who isn't willing to participate in the relationship.

Not really, I've added to what I like, but I still like the same things. I do get what your saying, but if you're that fickle isn't it up to you to let the other person know before you get locked in stone with them? Sort of a "I'm entirely likely to not love you in five years. You still want to do this?"

[Mazujotai]

Why even get married unless it's a religious thing for you? Seems easy to be common law married (if your jurisdiction allows it) or just be partners. I mean if you really want to get married go ahead but not being married seems a lot easier in terms of finances and in regards to the deterioration of the relationship.

Then again my moms been married 4 times so I'm under no illusion that I'm not being absolutely biased in this regard.

Insurance, religion, finances, etc.

1: And what's stopping you from having two separate insurances that you both pay into separately?
2: that's fine, but more and more people are finding that less of a compelling reason
3: again nothing wrong with combining your finances on mutual terms. Sharing a credit/debt card or having separate funds that both people have access to when needed.

[United Muscovite Nations]

That seems to prove my point.

Not really, most states on that graph are abstinence only states.

Here's a more accurate one covering Chlamydia (The most common STD/STI):

Oh, would you look at that, it's most common in areas that practice abstinence only, would could've guessed?

It's a spurious correlation. You can't just look at a map and say "oh, that's what causes it"; if you looked at a map of HIV rates and put it next to a map by percentage of nonwhite population, you'd find some "interesting" results too.

http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseact ... ureID=1041

Neither abstinence-only programs nor comprehensive sex education were significantly associated with risk for an STD when compared to no sex education.

Another interesting bit:

The strongest predictor for an STD diagnosis was a non-intact family. Adolescents in these families were four times more likely to report having been diagnosed with an STD.

So, chalk another one up for the anti-divorce crowd.

[United Islamic Commonwealth]

1. The only country in the world that outlaws divorce is the Philippines.
2. Then you might want to reconsider your religion if it forces you to stay in an unhappy marriage.
3. Like what financial or social reasons?

1. Doesn't change the fact that it still happens
2. Would you stop being a Muslim if Islam didn't allow divorce?
3. You might loose all your money or possessions, you might not have money to get the proper lawyers and pay various fees, having to deal with contracts that both partner's signed, maybe living in more religious area where divorce's are seen as failure or people could label you and an adulterer (This is very common in certain Christian areas), the list goes on...

1. Honestly, if my country didn't allow divorce, I'm leaving the country and getting divorced elsewhere or just not getting married. Why would you enter into a literal eternal commitment with no way out?
2. I don't know. Islam allows divorce.
3. So, you'd remain miserable over some material possessions?

[New haven america]

You do understand that humans change emotionally, right? I bet that there are foods, shows/movies, hobbies, etc... that you loved 10 years ago that you probably don't like or hate today.

Guess what? That can happen with people too. One partner can be perfectly loving and caring before or at the start of the marriage, and change to become a more closed off or unsympathetic person who isn't willing to participate in the relationship.

1. Not really, I've added to what I like, but I still like the same things. 2.I do get what your saying, but if you're that fickle isn't it up to you to let the other person know before you get locked in stone with them? Sort of a "I'm entirely likely to not love you in five years. You still want to do this?"

1. I don't believe that
2. Fickleness has nothing to do with this. As you grow up you change both physically and mentally, you as a 40 year old would most likely be very different than you as a 20 year old. You will change, you will fall in love with new stuff, you will fall out of love with other things. Guess what? That's called life.

[United Islamic Commonwealth]

Insurance, religion, finances, etc.

1: And what's stopping you from having two separate insurances that you both pay into separately?
2: that's fine, but more and more people are finding that less of a compelling reason
3: again nothing wrong with combining your finances on mutual terms. Sharing a credit/debt card or having separate funds that both people have access to when needed.

1. Not what I meant. For instance, workplace insurance that only covers spouses and kids.
2. And? Still plenty of people who find it to be a compelling reason. Myself included. 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide, a majority of the 2.4 billion Christians worldwide, etc.

[New haven america]

1. Doesn't change the fact that it still happens
2. Would you stop being a Muslim if Islam didn't allow divorce?
3. You might loose all your money or possessions, you might not have money to get the proper lawyers and pay various fees, having to deal with contracts that both partner's signed, maybe living in more religious area where divorce's are seen as failure or people could label you and an adulterer (This is very common in certain Christian areas), the list goes on...

1. Honestly, if my country didn't allow divorce, I'm leaving the country and getting divorced elsewhere or just not getting married. Why would you enter into a literal eternal commitment with no way out?
2. I don't know. Islam allows divorce.
3. So, you'd remain miserable over some material possessions?

1. What if you can't leave your country?
2. No, answer the question. If the highest authority of Islam currently alive came out and said that due to new interpretations, Islam does not allow divorce and anyone who gets divorced or has been divorced is going to Jahannam. Would you stop being a Muslim?
3. I see you don't understand my point. Let's say the court favors your partner over you, and they decided to not only give your ex-partner your house, but also everything you own other than the cloths your currently wearing, and basically says: "Sucks to be you~". Would you really try to get a divorce then?

[Donut section]

1. Not really, I've added to what I like, but I still like the same things. 2.I do get what your saying, but if you're that fickle isn't it up to you to let the other person know before you get locked in stone with them? Sort of a "I'm entirely likely to not love you in five years. You still want to do this?"

1. I don't believe that
2. Fickleness has nothing to do with this. As you grow up you change both physically and mentally, you as a 40 year old would most likely be very different than you as a 20 year old. You will change, you will fall in love with new stuff, you will fall out of love with other things. Guess what? That's called life.

I'm almost forty now and aside from overcoming homelessness and drug addiction I still do the same things. Mainly martial arts and dance. With some new things added in. I'm learning to read good soon, and jazz/swing dancing. Can you say you liked something to begin with if you don't like it anymore? I wouldn't.

[Mazujotai]

1: And what's stopping you from having two separate insurances that you both pay into separately?
2: that's fine, but more and more people are finding that less of a compelling reason
3: again nothing wrong with combining your finances on mutual terms. Sharing a credit/debt card or having separate funds that both people have access to when needed.

1. Not what I meant. For instance, workplace insurance that only covers spouses and kids.
2. And? Still plenty of people who find it to be a compelling reason. Myself included. 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide, a majority of the 2.4 billion Christians worldwide, etc.

1: Which spouse has the better employer provided insurance? Put the children in that and have that be their main source of insurance. I know it's probably a bit more complicated then that but there's nothing stopping a parent from putting you on their insurgence.
2: I think you missed my point a bit, it's fine to marry for religious reasons, marriage in and of itself is not a bad thing, but there are noticibly fewer and fewer people fandimg this to be a valid reason to get married. While I'm not well versed on the statistics of Muslims I can say that we are seeing decking rates of religiousness across much of the western world. I don't see it as been the compelling on an issue given is diminishing role in western society.

[New haven america]

Not really, most states on that graph are abstinence only states.

Here's a more accurate one covering Chlamydia (The most common STD/STI):

Oh, would you look at that, it's most common in areas that practice abstinence only, would could've guessed?

It's a spurious correlation. You can't just look at a map and say "oh, that's what causes it"

In this case we can, as the rates presented has been rather stagnate and consistent throughout the years. States that have abstinent only sex ed are more likely to give you STD/STI's.

[Adytus]

Everyone should be able to marry anyone, and as many people as they like.

[United Islamic Commonwealth]

1. Honestly, if my country didn't allow divorce, I'm leaving the country and getting divorced elsewhere or just not getting married. Why would you enter into a literal eternal commitment with no way out?
2. I don't know. Islam allows divorce.
3. So, you'd remain miserable over some material possessions?

1. What if you can't leave your country?
2. No, answer the question. If the highest authority of Islam currently alive came out and said that due to new interpretations, Islam does not allow divorce and anyone who gets divorced or has been divorced is going to Jahannam. Would you stop being a Muslim?
3. I see you don't understand my point. Let's say the court favors your partner over you, and they decided to not only give your ex-partner your house, but also everything you own other than the cloths your currently wearing, and basically says: "Sucks to be you~". Would you really try to get a divorce then?

1. Then I'm not getting married. I repeat, I'm not going to enter into a lifelong commitment with no way out. It'd be like agreeing to work for a company, but you aren't allowed to ever quit.
2. I already answered: I don't know. No sé. انا لا اعرف Islam allows divorce pretty freely. I've never been any other religion, so I don't know how I'd feel.
3. Yes. I'm the dumbass that married them and they're just things. Better that than be miserable for the rest of my life.

[New haven america]

1. I don't believe that
2. Fickleness has nothing to do with this. As you grow up you change both physically and mentally, you as a 40 year old would most likely be very different than you as a 20 year old. You will change, you will fall in love with new stuff, you will fall out of love with other things. Guess what? That's called life.

1. I'm almost forty now and aside from overcoming homelessness and drug addiction I still do the same things. Mainly martial arts and dance. With some new things added in. I'm learning to read good soon, and jazz/swing dancing. Can you say you liked something to begin with if you don't like it anymore? I wouldn't.

1. Congrats, you've just proved my point.

[Neanderthaland]

Everyone should be able to marry anyone, and as many people as they like.

Really? In that case I marry your mom.

No take backs.

[Mazujotai]

Everyone should be able to marry anyone, and as many people as they like.

Really? In that case I marry your mom.

No take backs.

Are you gonna make him call you dad now?

[Donut section]

1. I'm almost forty now and aside from overcoming homelessness and drug addiction I still do the same things. Mainly martial arts and dance. With some new things added in. I'm learning to read good soon, and jazz/swing dancing. Can you say you liked something to begin with if you don't like it anymore? I wouldn't.

1. Congrats, you've just proved my point.

How?

[NeoOasis]

Not really, most states on that graph are abstinence only states.

Here's a more accurate one covering Chlamydia (The most common STD/STI):

Oh, would you look at that, it's most common in areas that practice abstinence only, would could've guessed?

It's a spurious correlation. You can't just look at a map and say "oh, that's what causes it"; if you looked at a map of HIV rates and put it next to a map by percentage of nonwhite population, you'd find some "interesting" results too.

http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseact ... ureID=1041

Neither abstinence-only programs nor comprehensive sex education were significantly associated with risk for an STD when compared to no sex education.

Another interesting bit:

The strongest predictor for an STD diagnosis was a non-intact family. Adolescents in these families were four times more likely to report having been diagnosed with an STD.

So, chalk another one up for the anti-divorce crowd.

"In comparing abstinence-only programs with comprehensive sex education, comprehensive sex education was associated with a 50% lower risk of teen pregnancy. "

"More importantly, however, it confirms that programs that teach young people about both abstinence and contraception/disease prevention are, in fact, effective."

This is pulled directly from the link you posted. Apparently SIECUS thinks that sex ed is indeed effective. It also goes to say that comprehensive sex ed is better than abstinence only sex-ed. The study goes to note that there were some massive gaps in the information about the quality of the education where it was provided.

"It also confirmed that talking to young people about birth control does not lead to increased sexual activity or higher STD rates as many critics of comprehensive sexuality education continue to claim. "

Also goes to show that poor families tend to have higher rates of STDs due to a lack of decent sex-ed... that could explain New Mexico's high STD rates.

[United Islamic Commonwealth]

1. Not what I meant. For instance, workplace insurance that only covers spouses and kids.
2. And? Still plenty of people who find it to be a compelling reason. Myself included. 1.6 billion Muslims worldwide, a majority of the 2.4 billion Christians worldwide, etc.

1: Which spouse has the better employer provided insurance? Put the children in that and have that be their main source of insurance. I know it's probably a bit more complicated then that but there's nothing stopping a parent from putting you on their insurgence.
2: I think you missed my point a bit, it's fine to marry for religious reasons, marriage in and of itself is not a bad thing, but there are noticibly fewer and fewer people fandimg this to be a valid reason to get married. While I'm not well versed on the statistics of Muslims I can say that we are seeing decking rates of religiousness across much of the western world. I don't see it as been the compelling on an issue given is diminishing role in western society.

1. Not spouse. The people aren't married in this situation, remember? What if only one partner has work provided insurance? The other one can go fuck off?
2. Just about every Muslim I've ever met has agreed that people should get married. Really don't see what is so complicated with that. This "declining rate of religiousness" shite doesn't matter when there are still way more religious than not.

[United Muscovite Nations]

It's a spurious correlation. You can't just look at a map and say "oh, that's what causes it"

In this case we can, as the rates presented has been rather stagnate and consistent throughout the years. States that have abstinent only sex ed are more likely to give you STD/STI's.

Are they more likely because of that? We don't know, and the study I just linked, that you cut out of your post (gee, I wonder why) showed that there's no correlation.

[United Muscovite Nations]

It's a spurious correlation. You can't just look at a map and say "oh, that's what causes it"; if you looked at a map of HIV rates and put it next to a map by percentage of nonwhite population, you'd find some "interesting" results too.

http://www.siecus.org/index.cfm?fuseact ... ureID=1041


Another interesting bit:



So, chalk another one up for the anti-divorce crowd.

"In comparing abstinence-only programs with comprehensive sex education, comprehensive sex education was associated with a 50% lower risk of teen pregnancy. "

"More importantly, however, it confirms that programs that teach young people about both abstinence and contraception/disease prevention are, in fact, effective."

This is pulled directly from the link you posted. Apparently SIECUS thinks that sex ed is indeed effective. It also goes to say that comprehensive sex ed is better than abstinence only sex-ed. The study goes to note that there were some massive gaps in the information about the quality of the education where it was provided.

"It also confirmed that talking to young people about birth control does not lead to increased sexual activity or higher STD rates as many critics of comprehensive sexuality education continue to claim. "

Also goes to show that poor families tend to have higher rates of STDs due to a lack of decent sex-ed... that could explain New Mexico's high STD rates.

There's no correlation between sex education and STD rates, that was what I was trying to show, and that's what I found.

[New haven america]

1. What if you can't leave your country?
2. No, answer the question. If the highest authority of Islam currently alive came out and said that due to new interpretations, Islam does not allow divorce and anyone who gets divorced or has been divorced is going to Jahannam. Would you stop being a Muslim?
3. I see you don't understand my point. Let's say the court favors your partner over you, and they decided to not only give your ex-partner your house, but also everything you own other than the cloths your currently wearing, and basically says: "Sucks to be you~". Would you really try to get a divorce then?

1. Then I'm not getting married. I repeat, I'm not going to enter into a lifelong commitment with no way out. It'd be like agreeing to work for a company, but you aren't allowed to ever quit.
2. I already answered: I don't know. No sé. انا لا اعرف Islam allows divorce pretty freely. I've never been any other religion, so I don't know how I'd feel.
3. Yes. I'm the dumbass that married them and they're just things. Better that than be miserable for the rest of my life.

1. But that's you. There are those who believe that the relationship will last, and in some cases it does, some it doesn't, that's life.
2. Give me a yes or no answer, or prove my point that religious reasons are reasons that people don't get divorces. I will count "I don't know" as admitting I'm right.
3. Then have fun sleeping on the park bench.

[NeoOasis]

There's no correlation between sex education and STD rates, that was what I was trying to show, and that's what I found.

"More importantly, however, it confirms that programs that teach young people about both abstinence and contraception/disease prevention are, in fact, effective."

Sex Ed reduces STD rates... Both forms (abstinence and comprehensive sex) work to reduce pregnancy and STDs.