Dread Lady Nathicana wrote:Look folks. One of these days, we gotta come to an agreement that guess what - it tends to take two to get pregnant, and regardless of who ends up carrying the resulting fetus, both are equally responsible for its creation and the choices they made up to that point of agreeing to have sex - protected or not. No method is 100% guaranteed effective, other than never having sexual contact at all, right? These arguments of 'but whyyyyyy' and 'who ought to have more say/blame' really end up being rather tedious when you get right down to it.
So we should just let men become trapped into relationships they don't want to be in and have children that they end up resenting because "it's too difficult to come with a solution that actually creates even a modicum of equality"? Of course, men are expected to make the sacrifices as per usual because hey, it's what society expects of us.
Fair? Who said anything about any of this being fair, neh? Course it isn't fair, but it is what two people end up having to deal with when an unexpected or unplanned pregnancy happens - discussion and choices have to be made.
So why do women have options and men do not? If there's an unwanted pregnancy, why the fuck to women get all the fucking benefits? God forbid the man gives the woman what she wants which is full custody of the baby and absolves himself of any responsibility for it. What gives any woman the right to force a pregnancy onto a man? If a man forced a woman into a pregnancy, oh boy, every one would lose their fucking minds. Woman forces man into an unwanted pregnancy? Better fucking pay up.
And if one or the other chooses either not to discuss, or makes choices without the consent or input of the other, more problems happen, simple as that.
More problems being what? Women lose their relationship privileges? Their ability to trap men in relationships? Sounds pretty fucking dandy to me.
The responsible thing would be to sit down, weigh all the pros and cons, air all the concerns and questions, and get some informed answers to the latter before making any decisions that have long-term consequences.
Why? If a man says at the outset of a relationship with a woman that he doesn't want children, and takes every available measure to avoid having them to the point where the woman has to outright lie to him or sabotage his condoms, what makes you think he's going to turn around and say "yes, I want to raise this child"? Men aren't like women. Most of us want to avoid kids as much as possible because we know how shitty things get when a relationship falls apart and the children end up becoming pawns (well at least until the judge grants the mother sole custody).
Unfortunately, not everyone is that responsible. Plenty are scared, feel guilty or worry about additional outside pressures, are just plain selfish, possibly angry, or many of the above all at once.
It's not about "being responsible", it's about having that ability to determine your life the way you want it. Having your life suddenly changed against your will by others isn't fucking pleasant. But unwanted pregnancies offer one of the few opportunities to give people some choice in their lives.
Better education about How It's Made (TM) or what not could help, possibly. Making more preventative measure more readily available might help as well, whatever the arguments are for 'just gives them permission to have all the sex they want' that go along with it. Lessening the guilt factors wouldn't be amiss, more broadly informing people of their options and viable alternatives is another potential point to consider.
Paper abortions would be a much better solution. If a woman tried to trap me into a relationship with a baby, I'd want to make sure that I could say "fucking have at it" and walk away with no legal requirements for financial support. Relationships that exist purely for the child are not good relationships to be in.
But turning on one another and nitpicking further, trying to see who can claw their way ahead to get a better deal out of it for themselves, rather than think for a moment about the implications of being responsible for bringing into being a possible new independent life, is just shitty.
So apparently letting women trap men into relationships or using pregnancies to exploit the legal system isn't shitty but suggesting that we have at least a similar option to abortion for men apparently is. Fuck me sideways.
Oh well. The more men who forego relationships and sex with women, the better. Don't come crying to us when the dating pool dries up.
And it accomplishes nothing.
It gives men options they would otherwise never have.
Especially the 'he said/she said' or 'because someone wronged me, forever shall I hate $gender and make every subsequent convo all about how evil they are' crap that keeps cropping up. No, not suggesting any personal experiences are irrelevant or unimportant, just that they may not be healthy to base all discussions on.
Right, because apparently being against discrimination with the legal system is just another manifestation of misogyny.
