What's your zombie survival guide?

[Manahakatouki]

Give em Pancakes *Nods*

No I'd do something...probably drive up north....

[Greater Tomainia]

What's yours?


Mine is that I'd get my friends, family, pets, and others to be barricaded inside a wal-mart. I'd bring computers along, and ram the kars through the front doors for extra protection. Daily, I would send messages to the outside world, telling them where we are. I'd make sure everyone had rations, and brought along their computers. To keep us entertained, the computers would let us play games and look up videos, and also help us stay in touch with the Z-Day news. To barricade all doors, we'd un-bolt the shelves (after ransacking them) and shove them into proper place. We'd obviously bring all guns along, and as much ammo as possible. We'd also bring as much food, bottled water, water filters, batteries, and animal food as possible. I'd plan on keeping there for at least a week. In case of a seige, all left over shelves would be set into a fort, using building supllies and random crap around the store. After said week, I'd then have everyone send out 50 messages to random sites, stating where we are. If another week passes, we'd pack up and head to another wal-mart. We'd survive at least a month, until we ran out of gas. Luckily, we could pick it up at Wal-Mart, and be on our way. Any strangers would be locked in the bathroom with food and water for a day, then go through thorough inspection, in case of infection. If we had more than 20 survivors, we'd need to spread to another stoor, hopefully across the street. With this plan, you could survive 2 or 3 months, and then the Military would arrive to rescue you.

So you would go to a site with a whole load of people and then broadcast to other survivors where you were?

Your supplies would last a day!

[Picklepoo]

What's yours?


Mine is that I'd get my friends, family, pets, and others to be barricaded inside a wal-mart. I'd bring computers along, and ram the kars through the front doors for extra protection. Daily, I would send messages to the outside world, telling them where we are. I'd make sure everyone had rations, and brought along their computers. To keep us entertained, the computers would let us play games and look up videos, and also help us stay in touch with the Z-Day news. To barricade all doors, we'd un-bolt the shelves (after ransacking them) and shove them into proper place. We'd obviously bring all guns along, and as much ammo as possible. We'd also bring as much food, bottled water, water filters, batteries, and animal food as possible. I'd plan on keeping there for at least a week. In case of a seige, all left over shelves would be set into a fort, using building supllies and random crap around the store. After said week, I'd then have everyone send out 50 messages to random sites, stating where we are. If another week passes, we'd pack up and head to another wal-mart. We'd survive at least a month, until we ran out of gas. Luckily, we could pick it up at Wal-Mart, and be on our way. Any strangers would be locked in the bathroom with food and water for a day, then go through thorough inspection, in case of infection. If we had more than 20 survivors, we'd need to spread to another stoor, hopefully across the street. With this plan, you could survive 2 or 3 months, and then the Military would arrive to rescue you.

So you would go to a site with a whole load of people and then broadcast to other survivors where you were?

Your supplies would last a day!

There in a wal-mart.

[Barringtonia]

For a thread that started at the bottom, it's still managing to go downhill. NSG, defying physics since 2002,

[Manahakatouki]

For a thread that started at the bottom, it's still managing to go downhill. NSG, defying physics since 2002,

This place makes it's own laws....I can see it now.... THE LAWS OF NSG

[Barringtonia]

For a thread that started at the bottom, it's still managing to go downhill. NSG, defying physics since 2002,

This place makes it's own laws....I can see it now.... THE LAWS OF NSG

NSG First Law of Thermodynamics: Screw you, we'll create energy whenever we damn well like, we'll destroy it too if you're not grateful.

[Greater Tomainia]

What's yours?


Mine is that I'd get my friends, family, pets, and others to be barricaded inside a wal-mart. I'd bring computers along, and ram the kars through the front doors for extra protection. Daily, I would send messages to the outside world, telling them where we are. I'd make sure everyone had rations, and brought along their computers. To keep us entertained, the computers would let us play games and look up videos, and also help us stay in touch with the Z-Day news. To barricade all doors, we'd un-bolt the shelves (after ransacking them) and shove them into proper place. We'd obviously bring all guns along, and as much ammo as possible. We'd also bring as much food, bottled water, water filters, batteries, and animal food as possible. I'd plan on keeping there for at least a week. In case of a seige, all left over shelves would be set into a fort, using building supllies and random crap around the store. After said week, I'd then have everyone send out 50 messages to random sites, stating where we are. If another week passes, we'd pack up and head to another wal-mart. We'd survive at least a month, until we ran out of gas. Luckily, we could pick it up at Wal-Mart, and be on our way. Any strangers would be locked in the bathroom with food and water for a day, then go through thorough inspection, in case of infection. If we had more than 20 survivors, we'd need to spread to another stoor, hopefully across the street. With this plan, you could survive 2 or 3 months, and then the Military would arrive to rescue you.

So you would go to a site with a whole load of people and then broadcast to other survivors where you were?

Your supplies would last a day!

There in a wal-mart.

Really? A Wal-Mart?! Well feedily-dee, I forgot Wal-Marts are self-renewing sources of wonder!

As someone who has seen how quickly a Wal-Mart can empty during natural disasters, I know how quick (within a day) a Wal-Mart would be emptied when people need supplies to survive the dead walking again.
And you'd hardly be the only ones roaming with guns.

Common sense, people.

[Manahakatouki]

For a thread that started at the bottom, it's still managing to go downhill. NSG, defying physics since 2002,

This place makes it's own laws....I can see it now.... THE LAWS OF NSG

NSG First Law of Thermodynamics: Screw you, we'll create energy whenever we damn well like, we'll destroy it too if you're not grateful.

*Nods* It's true...

[Hurtful Thoughts]

1st warning of zombie outbreak: Scoff it off, calm those around me, convince everyone it is impossable while planning to kill everyone in the room if necesary.

1st 10 minutes of contact:
Treat initially as any other mugging. (Grab nearest blunt/sharp instrument and kill)
Now the fecees have hit that spinny-thing on the cieling...

Now that your day has gone down the tubes, what now?
At the very least, you've just defiled a corpse... The law won't stand for that at all...

Do you have a plan to deal with the Zombie menace.......Would you survive?

Unrealistic plan:
Steal a bomb-shelter, nuke earth from orbit, lead a small crusade against remaining undead.

More realsticly, I'd hole-up at home. Cause running would potentially spread it and besides, where would I go to escape a global outbreak? I'd still keep a mode of escape handy though, in case I need to scram to a consolidated safehouse (like Nastya's).

But after a week, I'd expect the buried dead to start digging themselves out, so I'd be pretty boned by then. This also coincides with me running out of food, fuel, and ammo. I'd have to get creative for water though, but it wouldn't be beyond my capabilities to find enough to survive a week.

Any surviving authority would likely declare martial-law BTW, so going to town looing is incredably unlikely.

Get an axe

Sadly, yes, like all zombie-scenarios, the first-responders are pretty screwed since the have to follow SOP.

And in spite of many cries of police brutality, they aren't really equipped or trained to KILL large mobs in short amounts of time. (They have, tops, a box of shotshells/slugs and a pair of spare mags per officer, maybe a case of loose ammo at HQ armory)

On the other hand, it's those guys that last past the first day and declare martial-law at the end of a smoking gun you have to watch-out for.

And in spite of losses, there'll be enough of them, and possably military reinforcements around to maintain martial-law or 'warzone status' for a week.

@ HT, As for Martial Law, that would be abandoned quickly (remember that soldiers are people too and most have families).

Yeah and they'll do anything to make them feel as if they're keeping those family-members safe.They'll be told that Martial-Law is to keep ya'll safe.

If you are breaking curfew, you are making the town unsafe for him and his family.
*Bang-bang*, you're dead for getting in the way of Mr Officer's boomstick as he patrols the streets for zekes. (That or he's looting a nearby 7-11 /w/ his sawed-off shotgun)

New Orleans, 2005, Nevar forget.

Oh, and another reason why you don't go on a rampage "the day after tomorrow", was quite clearly painted in the Y2K episode of "Hi, my name is Earl". In which case, it was a false-alarm and a bunch of coincidences.

So yeah, survive the fortnight on your own while 'following the rules that are no longer enforced consistantly', and you'll have likely outlasted 80% of everyone else, though you're now outnumbered the current world population x10.

If you last a month, it's high-time you start pulling your wieght and start an epic megafarm. Loot supplies to last you the winter.

Chances are you'll go-out Donner-party style, though.

[Tunizcha]

I am writing this from a fully and completely realistic point of view, I add none of the frivolous magical properties of a ghoul or zombie, and disregard the illogical completely. The Zombie Survival Guide by Max Brooks, takes the first part of the book explaining the virus “Solanum,” and I am going to work off of that idea, using the same name. It is that concept alone that I am working with; that it is a virus. All other concepts are completely scientifically based and we will explore the possibility that a virus such as Solanum exists in nature and that it has the ability to infect a hosts brain cells (neurons), first by entering the circulatory system via bodily fluid interaction of an infected individual and an uninfected individual, and finally making its way to the neuronal cells and manipulating said cells. I will disregard the communicability of 100 percent used in the book in favor of a more realistic number, 99.4 percent as used in The Stand by Stephen King for a man-made virus (given that that is the most likely scenario for the creation of this virus). Critics may say that this is not a “zombie” contingency plan, and to them I say nay, it depends on your definition of “zombie.” Plus, I find the idea of realism much more horrifying than fiction. Fiction you can brush off as being something implausible… The following may be fiction, but it is very plausible.

Skip this if you don’t give a fuck about biology:

In order to realistically write a zombie contingency plan, one must have knowledge of how a zombie functions in order to exploit their weaknesses and predict their attacks. I am telling everybody right fucking now, the anatomy of the zombies outlined in The Zombie Survival Guide is impossible. The zombies would disintegrate, with cells lysing on a scale so grand that there is no way they could eat you/pass on the virus before turning into a pile of mush, let alone have the capacity of movement. Therefore, I am about to discredit any possibility in the known world for a human body to function without the proper systems in place. A virus is considered “pseudoliving” which means that it is not technically alive by the standards of science. Without the host cells machinery, a virus cannot grow or replicate. Thus, a virus must take control of the host cells machinery and use that machinery to create its own DNA and subsequent proteins. This hinges on one very important point, the cell must function as it has always functioned. It needs glucose, fat or protein to begin the aerobic respiration that uses oxygen as a final electron acceptor in the path to making ATP (energy) to run the metabolic processes of the cell.

The implications of this are great, the zombie has to have working lungs to bring oxygen into the system, working circulatory system to transfer said oxygen along with nutrients and wastes, and systems which can eliminate said wastes. This brings into light the very real weaknesses of the zombie. It must be “living” for all intents and purposes, but that does not mean it will be easy to kill. Here’s the kicker: The virus can manipulate the cells. The neuronal cells that stop replicating in adult humans are once again capable of regeneration, a virus can lie dormant in a cell for very long periods of time (as evidenced by HIV, which progresses into AIDs once the virus decides to lyse the cells releasing the virus into the system) and make the cell replicate with viral DNA in the nucleus creating hundreds of cells with viral DNA in them. This means the virus will make the neuronal cells replicate, creating millions of new neurons each with viral DNA in them, each with the ability to control more of the processes of the human brain. One may also imply that the zombie is much smarter than your average human being, with a larger number of neuronal cells capable of propagating larger numbers of signals at a faster speed. I contest the idea that zombies are stumbling creatures with an off-kilter gate and little hand-eye coordination.

I believe that this hypothetical virus would create extremely intelligent humans which it would have full control over, by producing the proteins and enzymes of its own DNA rather than that of the original cell, it would be fully plausible that the human infected with this virus would be controlled by the desires of the virus, which would be to infect new hosts. Also, the infected individual would not be the same person they were in their lives with everything from memories to basic wants and desires being manipulated and changed by the virus. The zombie would also have a heightened set of sensory systems, and it’s plausible that the neural signals from their external body are blocked by the virus in the CNS, reducing and possibly eliminating the effects of pain or touch sensation. Furthermore, they may act with a hive mentality, working towards a common goal (and remember, they’re smart), and their circulatory system may be routed in order to increase the amount of blood to the muscles, increasing their strength and agility. The most horrific realization: They may look completely normal. The virus does not necessarily impact their vocal chords, and they would look like a regular human being. Their behavior would be notably different, but they could pass the virus on before the realization of what has happened is fully recognized.

With this knowledge in place, we can begin to determine what will and what will not work. Quarantines will be key in containing the virus to large areas (in the range of regions to complete countries). Given our inability to distinguish the zombies from the humans, large quarantine areas will be key. All air and sea ports should be shut down, and control of the army and air bases is essential. A 99.4 percent communicable virus can most likely become airborne, especially since viral particles are pseudoliving and can enter a dormant stage if not active in a cell (such is the case when they are housed within a water molecule, such as on a humid day). Dry climates are best due to such conditions, especially since a zombie lacks any other desire than to pass on its virus and thus does not drink, dehydration would be a good way to defeat them. Other ways to kill the zombies via natural causes would be to expose them to harsh environmental conditions, such as the extreme hot or cold, high saline, low/high pH and anoxic environments all fit the bill. Thus, the best areas to flee to would be the deserts, the higher and lower altitudes and the poles. The worst places would be the mountains, valleys, jungles and tropics.

Also, since they are human we can kill them if it comes down to that. We would want to see them coming given that a more intelligent being would outsmart us in a terrain war using the mountains or valleys. The plains and deserts are ideal for such a situation. Saskatchewan, where you can watch your dog run away for three days, is a good place to be for a zombie apocalypse. This is where the plan gets sleazy and corrupt. We need to get rid of these zombies before they kill us all, and we have to do it in a way that causes the least amount of damage, least bloodshed (especially into the water systems; I’ll say it again, viruses are pseudoliving, they can live in the soil and water forever until it attaches to a host cell whose machinery it can manipulate) and the most successful. Thus we will need two plans, one for “the bait” and one for “the survivors.” You’re reading the survivors guide. The bait will be those that believe a virus can evoke a stage of being “undead” in which these things cannot be killed and the mountains and valleys should be used to hide from and trick them.

The survivors guide is for those that know these fuckers are smarter than us, and would kick our ass in a terrain based war of wit. Trust me, this is necessary. Think of the people we could get to follow the bait guide? Bush, Hannah Montana, the Jonas Brothers, etc. Man, I’m beginning to WELCOME the zombie apocalypse. Anyways, we can lure the zombies into the valleys and mountains, from there dams can be taken out and landslides created provided we still have control of the army bases (I thank you Wright brothers). Meanwhile, safe zones can be created and established in areas where the weather would kill any remaining zombies in a disposable manner (such as through freezing, and might I add that if you freeze a zombie it would be much like freezing a human, where the plasma and extra/intracellular fluid freezes into crystals which would tear the cells apart resulting in death). Due to the high communicability, the zombie bodies will have to be destroyed, I’m thinking a controlled nuclear blast in the areas the zombies were lured to. Fire is a good way to kill a virus, since even the pseudoliving cannot deny the destructive powers of heat to proteins which make up their outer coat. Thus, to the areas where any remaining zombies fled to and eventually died due to extreme environmental conditions, let the forest fires reign.

Note: this plan is kind of geared toward North and South America following the quarantine, it can be applied to Europe as well. Japan, if they got hit with this virus, they’re kind of screwed. Britain, you’re screwed. Australia… well you guys have all that poisonous stuff, so I’m pretty sure the zombies are afraid of you. China, fucking nuke them if this happens, because with that high of a population they are fucked. Canada, Russia and the Scandinavian countries will pull through nicely, and the US, if you guys don’t go all batshit on me, you’ll be alright (I’m talking to you Utah, you and your Mormons, lol.)

Congrats. You have just killed Zombies.

[Satirius]

Hole up in a Costco, use clothing racks as barricades, improvise a rain catcher, Gordon Freeman incoming zombies for fun and profit.

[Hurtful Thoughts]

Hole up in a Costco, use clothing racks as barricades, improvise a rain catcher, Gordon Freeman incoming zombies for fun and profit.

Eh, gonna post in that zombie WaW thread or not?

[Peddieville]

Head to the French Southern and Antarctic Islands. They a series of larger island in the south India sea about as far a way from civilization as you can get. They are out of the way of pirating routes, and are far enough to make the possibility of a zombie invasion minimal. There is already a small scientific research facility on the island ready for year round use. The island itself is capable of supporting some crops and animals, such as sheep. Reachable by plane (rough landing) or boat. I would gather a large group of trusted individuals with a wide variety of talents, as well as as much seed, food, and animals will fit on my boat(s) along with some weapons (preferably carbines and a few shot guns), instruction manuals and survival guides, water sanitation and distillation material, weatherized clothing, crank radio, and basic construction material, such as concrete mix. More supplies could be obtained one or two months after Day one, once things have settled down. Teams would go in fours with one boat some time well before we ran out of supplies, and would return within one month. They would avoid heavily populated areas. Australia would be the best bet for obtaining supplies and avoiding zombies. If they did not return within a month, they would be considered dead, and another party would not be sent out for six months. If at any point a party discovers that the zombie situation is under control, either due to human doing or because they rotted away, recolonization of some more hospitable land would take place.

[Barringtonia]

*snip*

I mean, seriously, what a bother, why not just become a zombie and eat some brains?

[Blitzkrenia]

Run. fast.

[SaintB]

I will not tell you my survival plan. For all I know you could be some kind of smart zombie, gathering intel on us humans so that you can track us down more easily.

[Ifreann]

Get infected, hide in Wal*Mart, mutate, attack OP.

[Grenartia]

Take my boat, with whomever wishes to come with me, whatever supplies I've got, my guns, and drive it out to Fort Massachusetts on Ship Island in the Sound...

Can I come with?

[Call to power]

I have a military base built into a castle down the road along with a key so yeah I'm pretty good as long as I remember to raid McDonald's on the way

admittedly I'd have to save the Mrs so I'd likely be eaten alive pretty quick

and then the Military would arrive to rescue you.

will there be women?

Fuck it, I'd totally join the zombies, have me some brains for breakfast,

I hear Zombies have an excellent workplace environment free from the usual bitching that goes on within todays modern workplace

[Blitzkrenia]

Fuck it, I'd totally join the zombies, have me some brains for breakfast,

I hear Zombies have an excellent workplace environment free from the usual bitching that goes on within todays modern workplace

They also have free life insurance.

[Call to power]

They also have free life insurance.

come to think of it being a Zombie must be pretty damn schweet and you can avoid any nasty scars by simply accepting your fate and infecting yourself with fluids

yeah hordes of Zombie do seem to be pretty retarded in films just randomly killing whoever is different but then raging hordes of humans do that anyway :/

[Laerod]

Well, the first thing you need to do is establish what kind of zombies you're dealing with. Rabid zombies, à la Left 4 Dead? Russo zombies, à la Living Dead series? Romero zombies, à la Noun of the Dead series? Rage zombies, à la 28 Time Units Later? Resident Evil zombies? They all have vast differences and trying to engage one as you would another will be fatal.

[Sith Korriban]

Switch teams, infect all humans. One big happy undead family.

[Satirius]

Hole up in a Costco, use clothing racks as barricades, improvise a rain catcher, Gordon Freeman incoming zombies for fun and profit.

Eh, gonna post in that zombie WaW thread or not?

Meh, looks pretty dead. *sighs* Oh zombie thread, I miss ye.
Oh also, your "Axes High" picture comes from a player clan(of firefighters, who spawn with axes, the more worthy melee weapon of the two worth having in the game) in this game. I was a PKer and I spawned as firefighter. 'Twas fun until you met those tightass "bounty-hunters" who took it upon themselves to PK PKers, who then would PK them in revenge.

[AngloSaxonLand]

I would rape and pillage.