TET: A fish called Wanda, a sheep called Violet

[Khalisako]

Me too. I think it's part of a DM's job to reinterpret or outright ignore some things in the name of story.

It's like how I despise the 5e Monster Manual's take on Sprites. While I was originally indifferent, when I read their entry, I found that they can apparently deduce an individual's objective moral classification by listening to their heartbeat. When I first read that I thought in a rage:

"THAT'S NOT HOW BIOLOGY WORKS."

I mean, then the book tried to smugly pass it off with "The heart never lies." Well, what if someone has a heart condition that causes them to mis-register on the Sprites' bullcrap morality test. Also, HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?!? IT! MAKES! NO! SEEENNNNSSSEEEEEE!!1!

tHink the "heart" they're refering to actually exists in your brain. Your real heart only pumps blood and gets achey with greasy pizza.

[Aromanticism]

Fantasy does not adhere to your "biology". xD

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Fantasy does not adhere to your "biology". xD

I prefer my fantasy to involve at least some reference to real-world concepts. Also important to remember is this maxim:

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.

[Erinkita III]

[
Okay! The next one's gonna have pineapple!

My default reaction was to furiously proclaim that your infernal malevolence knows no compare, but I'm actually ok with that. Can't go wrong with pineapple, after all.

I know, right? Pineapple's great. Why's everybody all upset about putting it on pizza?

My favourite is chamomile, honey and vanilla. I don't thin I'll ever like coffee, but the only alternative is getting a healthy amount of sleep, which is obviously impossible.

Your job requirel ong hours?

Yes, and I generally have trouble sleeping.

Me too. I think it's part of a DM's job to reinterpret or outright ignore some things in the name of story.

It's like how I despise the 5e Monster Manual's take on Sprites. While I was originally indifferent, when I read their entry, I found that they can apparently deduce an individual's objective moral classification by listening to their heartbeat. When I first read that I thought in a rage:

"THAT'S NOT HOW BIOLOGY WORKS."

I mean, then the book tried to smugly pass it off with "The heart never lies." Well, what if someone has a heart condition that causes them to mis-register on the Sprites' bullcrap morality test. Also, HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?!? IT! MAKES! NO! SEEENNNNSSSEEEEEE!!1!

That does seem weird. It could have just given them the ability to cast discern alignment at will.
I haven't read much of the 5e Monster Manual, but I've been going through the Player's Handbook and making a few characters.
Pathfinder and Mutants & Masterminds are my games of choice.

[Khalisako]

My default reaction was to furiously proclaim that your infernal malevolence knows no compare, but I'm actually ok with that. Can't go wrong with pineapple, after all.

I know, right? Pineapple's great. Why's everybody all upset about putting it on pizza?

Your job requirel ong hours?

Yes, and I generally have trouble sleeping.

Too bad the earth doens't revovle around the sun slower, we'd havem ore time i nthe day to sleeeeep

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

It's like how I despise the 5e Monster Manual's take on Sprites. While I was originally indifferent, when I read their entry, I found that they can apparently deduce an individual's objective moral classification by listening to their heartbeat. When I first read that I thought in a rage:

"THAT'S NOT HOW BIOLOGY WORKS."

I mean, then the book tried to smugly pass it off with "The heart never lies." Well, what if someone has a heart condition that causes them to mis-register on the Sprites' bullcrap morality test. Also, HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?!? IT! MAKES! NO! SEEENNNNSSSEEEEEE!!1!

It's magic, not biological.

No, Prestidigitation is magic. A potion of healing is magic. A heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout the body. How the flying [EXPLETIVE] would an organ that pumps blood tell your entire (objective, mind you) moral classification?!?

[Hurdergaryp]

My default reaction was to furiously proclaim that your infernal malevolence knows no compare, but I'm actually ok with that. Can't go wrong with pineapple, after all.

I know, right? Pineapple's great. Why's everybody all upset about putting it on pizza?

Prescious, prancing special snowflakes, the goddamn lot of them. The inevitable transmutationss of pizza throughout the ages shall reduce them to desiccated gristle and dust, and that is exactly as it should be.

[Dahon]

My default reaction was to furiously proclaim that your infernal malevolence knows no compare, but I'm actually ok with that. Can't go wrong with pineapple, after all.

I know, right? Pineapple's great. Why's everybody all upset about putting it on pizza?

It's the eyes, isn't it?

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

I know, right? Pineapple's great. Why's everybody all upset about putting it on pizza?


Yes, and I generally have trouble sleeping.

Too bad the earth doens't revovle around the sun slower, we'd havem ore time i nthe day to sleeeeep

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

[The Serbian Empire]

Why am I listening to Anthrax?

[United City States of Oceania]

Too bad the earth doens't revovle around the sun slower, we'd havem ore time i nthe day to sleeeeep

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

So it's more like too bad the earth didn't spin slower.

[Dahon]

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

Silly sentient being -- a "day" is determined by how long the almighty Brahma stays awake.

[Khalisako]

Too bad the earth doens't revovle around the sun slower, we'd havem ore time i nthe day to sleeeeep

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

Oohhhh, I seen ow.

Pump the break, mamma earth,. we needm ore TIME

[Khalisako]

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

Silly sentient being -- a "day" is determined by how long the almighty Brahma stays awake.

all hail the great brahma.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Erm, actually the length of an Earth "day" is determined by the speed of rotation of the Earth on it's axis, not by the speed of the Earth's orbit around Sol.

Silly sentient being -- a "day" is determined by how long the almighty Brahma stays awake.

Well, from a non-spiritual point of view, the notion of a "day" as a universal measure of time is quite silly. We're essentially applying the rotational speed of a speck to the vast void before us.

[Aromanticism]

Fantasy does not adhere to your "biology". xD

I prefer my fantasy to involve at least some reference to real-world concepts. Also important to remember is this maxim:

Any sufficiently advanced magic is indistinguishable from technology.

I was joking, but yeah, I completely agree.

[Hurdergaryp]

Why am I listening to Anthrax?

A desperate attempt to become a little bit more like me, while failing in the process? You're going to need to do better than that if you desire to match my destructive musical preferences.

[Dahon]

Well, from a non-spiritual point of view, the notion of a "day" as a universal measure of time is quite silly. We're essentially applying the rotational speed of a speck to the vast void before us.

Thus we conquer the presently unconquerable before we in our infinitesimaliciousness behold with our five senses or more just how incomprehensibly unconquerable "unconquerable" is, from the word go.

[Ethel mermania]

It's magic, not biological.

No, Prestidigitation is magic. A potion of healing is magic. A heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout the body. How the flying [EXPLETIVE] would an organ that pumps blood tell your entire (objective, mind you) moral classification?!?

The sprite has magical abilities by definition. It's really not that complicated.

[The Serbian Empire]

Why am I listening to Anthrax?

A desperate attempt to become a little bit more like me, while failing in the process? You're going to need to do better than that if you desire to match my destructive musical preferences.

I wonder if I'm just a poor facsimile that ends becoming a distaff counterpart.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

No, Prestidigitation is magic. A potion of healing is magic. A heart is an organ that pumps blood throughout the body. How the flying [EXPLETIVE] would an organ that pumps blood tell your entire (objective, mind you) moral classification?!?

The sprite has magical abilities by definition. It's really not that complicated.

Magic still has to make some kind of sense. I prefer my magic as... erm... Fantastic (In the sense of "Fantasy".) Physics, I guess?

[Hurdergaryp]

A desperate attempt to become a little bit more like me, while failing in the process? You're going to need to do better than that if you desire to match my destructive musical preferences.

I wonder if I'm just a poor facsimile that ends becoming a distaff counterpart.

Don't feel bad about it, we all have to play our roles.

[Ethel mermania]

The sprite has magical abilities by definition. It's really not that complicated.

Magic still has to make some kind of sense. I prefer my magic as... erm... Fantastic (In the sense of "Fantasy".) Physics, I guess?

The magic makes perfect sense. The sprite has an inate ability, much like a red dragon has an inate ability to resist fire spells. Sprites have the ability to discern the soul.

[The Supreme Magnificent High Swaglord]

Magic still has to make some kind of sense. I prefer my magic as... erm... Fantastic (In the sense of "Fantasy".) Physics, I guess?

The magic makes perfect sense. The sprite has an inate ability, much like a red dragon has an inate ability to resist fire spells. Sprites have the ability to discern the soul.

The book says that they discern it via heartbeat. I would have accepted a plain "soul-seeing" ability, but they gave it the flavor of hearing heartbeat, which ruins my suspension of disbelief.

[New Visayan Islands]

It's like how I despise the 5e Monster Manual's take on Sprites. While I was originally indifferent, when I read their entry, I found that they can apparently deduce an individual's objective moral classification by listening to their heartbeat. When I first read that I thought in a rage:

"THAT'S NOT HOW BIOLOGY WORKS."

I mean, then the book tried to smugly pass it off with "The heart never lies." Well, what if someone has a heart condition that causes them to mis-register on the Sprites' bullcrap morality test. Also, HOW WOULD THAT EVEN WORK?!? IT! MAKES! NO! SEEENNNNSSSEEEEEE!!1!

It's magic, not biological.

Yeah, I wonder how Clarke's Third Law would apply to biological processes...?