Person012345 wrote:The Golden Dragonfly wrote:Person012345 wrote:The Golden Dragonfly wrote:Person012345 wrote:The Golden Dragonfly wrote:topic is relevant to this discussion
I suspect most of the paedos on this thread were abused and molested as children themselves, although they may deny it
Geniunely, as far as I remember, I was not. I can't remember jack shit about my early childhood though. I don't really remember anything before I was 14ish, just tiny snippets.
Ok. You don't have a clear memory before you were aged 14. That there is a whole lot of repression. You are blocking out years of trauma because it is too painful for you conscious mind to recollect. This repression may be the source of all your inversions. We need to pull this all out and start unraveling things.
Let me approach the issue this way. What happened when you were 14? What were the significant events in your life that was unfolding at the time for you? In what way was this a transitional period for you and your family
Or, it could mean that I have a shit memory. Man, I can't remember what I did this day last week, let alone 15 years ago. When I say "before age 14" it doesn't mean I remember stuff, I just know what was going on, I remember more of it. I remember a general overview. I was at school, I was unhappy, I remember that I went to town at lunchtime in yr 11, stuff like this, I remember the overview of how things happened. Whereas before 14 I remember nothing, only tiny bits of random information, eg. completing a 4 peice jigsaw of a lion when I was very young (god knows why that's stuck there, but it has) or shouting down an echoey hallway in greece. I don't remember specific events outside of these random things, or indeed anything. After 14, around that age, I can actually remember the day to day things. I don't really think there were any major events at 14. Things were just going on like normal. My life is not full of drama. I also (very fondly) remember doing some stuff at a church sunday school, a bunch of kids were there is why. That continued until I was 19 and moved away. Though this is really irrelevant.
Have you considered your abuse theory may be flawed?
Its just a general hypothesis.
You mention that you were unhappy as a child. May I ask why? What was your relationship like with you parents? And also, did you have any younger siblings?
I view my parents as any normal people, I don't really love them unconditionally like you're supposed to and stuff, I've never felt it. They split when I was young (I don't remember when), so my dad has lived in england (I'm living with him atm when my mother kicked me out, for no good reason I might add), and I have lived with my mother for the past ten years, I won't say where in case anyone I know irl happens to come on this board, but not in the same country. My relationship with them has always been meh - strained. I do have a younger brother who I believe gets treated better than I do. My unhappiness did not have a one single cause, my life sucked (still does really). It's not the worst, I know, but it still wasn't much good. Though all of this is what I can recall, so after I already knew I was a pedo. I don't remember what the relationship was like before then or how I felt.
How much younger is your brother than you? Do you resent him for your parents preferential treatment? Have you ever molested him, or been inclined to do so? Are you sexually attracted to him?



