Christian Discussion Thread VIII: Augustine's Revenge.

[Diopolis]

You sir, have never had bourbon aged in Wine barrels.

He's like 18, I hope he hasn't been drinking bourbon.

I'm 20, and I'm a wine person.

[Tarsonis Survivors]

You sir, have never had bourbon aged in Wine barrels.

He's like 18, I hope he hasn't been drinking bourbon.

Doesn't undermine the point. Groth Bourbon is a little slice of heaven

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

I tend to disagree.

Disagree all you want, but he's right.

Not really. Source, talked 7 people out of doing the unthinkable.

[Major-Tom]

He's like 18, I hope he hasn't been drinking bourbon.

I'm 20, and I'm a wine person.

Hard spirits and and beer are clearly the best, but that has little to do with Christianity. Although I do find myself saying god dammit a lot less under the influence.

[Gauliscia]

Disagree all you want, but he's right.

Not really. Source, talked 7 people out of doing the unthinkable.

So have I, none of whom were close, but I can say that they wouldn't be like that if earlier down the line they'd brewed themselves a nice hot cup of man up.

[Tarsonis Survivors]

Disagree all you want, but he's right.

Not really. Source, talked 7 people out of doing the unthinkable.

Yes talked them out of making the choice. Them. The People. They didn't talk down their problems.

[-Fahrong-]

A stiff upper lip and stiffer drink might not be bad ideas, but they're no substitute for professional help or trust in God.

You sir, have never had bourbon aged in Wine barrels.

Good man here.

Anyway I have been meaning to ask this, but what do you lads think of the current developments against Jehovahs Witnesses in Russia? (Im pretty sure it also coincides actions against Mormonism and Scientology)

[Jamzmania]

You sir, have never had bourbon aged in Wine barrels.

Good man here.

Anyway I have been meaning to ask this, but what do you lads think of the current developments against Jehovahs Witnesses in Russia? (Im pretty sure it also coincides actions against Mormonism and Scientology)

I'm not familiar with what is going on in Russia. What's up?

[-Fahrong-]

Good man here.

Anyway I have been meaning to ask this, but what do you lads think of the current developments against Jehovahs Witnesses in Russia? (Im pretty sure it also coincides actions against Mormonism and Scientology)

I'm not familiar with what is going on in Russia. What's up?

Restrictions on street preaching (Bans in many cities), restrictions on home worship, and efforts to close their religious structures.

[The Princes of the Universe]

Restrictions on street preaching (Bans in many cities), restrictions on home worship, and efforts to close their religious structures.

Good riddance to the heretics, apostates, and con artists.

[-Fahrong-]

Restrictions on street preaching (Bans in many cities), restrictions on home worship, and efforts to close their religious structures.

Good riddance to the heretics, apostates, and con artists.

Indeed, big scandal was had when 'Church' of Scientology in Moscow was caught black mailing with Confessions.

[FelrikTheDeleted]

Good riddance to the heretics, apostates, and con artists.

Indeed, big scandal was had when 'Church' of Scientology in Moscow was caught black mailing with Confessions.

Wow, that pretty shitty.

[Tarsonis Survivors]

Good riddance to the heretics, apostates, and con artists.

Indeed, big scandal was had when 'Church' of Scientology in Moscow was caught black mailing with Confessions.

If ever there was a religion begging to be suppressed, it's Scientology

[Narland]

Not one for it I see.

I'm deeply upset no one understands the joke

That's okay, Jolly Old St. Nicholaus is the only one who could get away with punching Arius in the face. It's a running joke here why the one of the biggest Arianist sects (Jehovah's Witnesses) do not celebrate Christmas. Very few people these days are taught recent history let alone ancient.

[The Archregimancy]

Well, on the iconoclasm bit, fair enough.

But we do need to give Leo III appropriate credit for almost singlehandedly saving Christendom from the advance of Islam during the 717-718 Siege of Constantinople before he gave way to iconoclasm. It's only one of the most important battles in the history of Christianity - and was far more important that Tours/Poitiers in macrohistorical terms.

Oh, I agree completely. Leo's actions in 717-718 were in fact so heroic and of such immense historical importance that I desperately want to see an epic Hollywood movie about them - and I'll even forgive the inevitable departures from historical reality if it means I can get my movie. They can add an Arab love interest for Leo or whatever, I don't care, just make "The Siege" already!

Oooooooooooh.

Americans would love it (Christian Europeans defeat Muslims), Russians would love it (brave Orthodox Christians in mighty triumph), special effects-hardened blockbuster crowds would love it (several hundred ships go up in flames as Greek Fire is unleashed on the Caliphate's navy via pressurised nozzles), and while the Chinese would be indifferent, they can be mollified by insertion of Chinese trader travelling in 8th-century Constantinople.

And since Leo III was born in a border region of northern Syria before its conquest by the Caliphate, and the Empress Maria only enters history with Leo's coronation, you can even have that tragic Arab love interest without terribly stretching the historical record.

I should have a word with someone.

Just so long as Hollywood doesn't decide to use Leo's birth name; I'm not sure I could stomach a film called Konon the Conqueror. And we need to make sure that Maslama al-Malik is a suitably stereotypically noble commander of the Umayyad armies.

[FelrikTheDeleted]

Oh, I agree completely. Leo's actions in 717-718 were in fact so heroic and of such immense historical importance that I desperately want to see an epic Hollywood movie about them - and I'll even forgive the inevitable departures from historical reality if it means I can get my movie. They can add an Arab love interest for Leo or whatever, I don't care, just make "The Siege" already!

Oooooooooooh.

Americans would love it (Christian Europeans defeat Muslims), Russians would love it (brave Orthodox Christians in mighty triumph), special effects-hardened blockbuster crowds would love it (several hundred ships go up in flames as Greek Fire is unleashed on the Caliphate's navy via pressurised nozzles), and while the Chinese would be indifferent, they can be mollified by insertion of Chinese trader travelling in 8th-century Constantinople.

And since Leo III was born in a border region of northern Syria before its conquest by the Caliphate, and the Empress Maria only enters history with Leo's coronation, you can even have that tragic Arab love interest without terribly stretching the historical record.

I should have a word with someone.

Just so long as Hollywood doesn't decide to use Leo's birth name; I'm not sure I could stomach a film called Konon the Conqueror. And we need to make sure that Maslama al-Malik is a suitably stereotypically noble commander of the Umayyad armies.

I'd watch that thrice over.

[Constantinopolis]

Oh, I agree completely. Leo's actions in 717-718 were in fact so heroic and of such immense historical importance that I desperately want to see an epic Hollywood movie about them - and I'll even forgive the inevitable departures from historical reality if it means I can get my movie. They can add an Arab love interest for Leo or whatever, I don't care, just make "The Siege" already!

Oooooooooooh.

Americans would love it (Christian Europeans defeat Muslims), Russians would love it (brave Orthodox Christians in mighty triumph), special effects-hardened blockbuster crowds would love it (several hundred ships go up in flames as Greek Fire is unleashed on the Caliphate's navy via pressurised nozzles), and while the Chinese would be indifferent, they can be mollified by insertion of Chinese trader travelling in 8th-century Constantinople.

And since Leo III was born in a border region of northern Syria before its conquest by the Caliphate, and the Empress Maria only enters history with Leo's coronation, you can even have that tragic Arab love interest without terribly stretching the historical record.

I should have a word with someone.

Just so long as Hollywood doesn't decide to use Leo's birth name; I'm not sure I could stomach a film called Konon the Conqueror. And we need to make sure that Maslama al-Malik is a suitably stereotypically noble commander of the Umayyad armies.

We can do even better: The Chinese trader can be responsible for bringing a shipment of... something... that turns out to be a vital ingredient in the making of Greek Fire. There also needs to be an eccentric scientist of some kind, of course.

I was also thinking that there needs to be a character who is the leader of the Coptic Egyptian mutineers who take over a number of the Caliphate's ships and defect to the side of the Byzantine Empire.

And of course, the Bulgars need to have an epic cavalry charge at a critical moment, as I mentioned.

The 717-718 siege could legitimately make a great Hollywood movie.

[Constantinopolis]

Another idea: The Chinese character turns out to be a Nestorian Christian. This is historically plausible, as there were some Nestorians in Tang Dynasty China during this period.

Then, in one of the final scenes, Leo accepts Maslama's surrender. And behind Leo, there stands Tervel Khan (who is an Orthodox Christian in this movie, as he may have been in history as well), together with the Nestorian Chinese character, and the (monophysite) Coptic Egyptian ship captain, and - why not - some kind of Italian or Frankish or otherwise Latin Christian knight.

Bonus points if this scene takes place right in front of the Hagia Sophia, as Maslama is allowed to enter the city alone at the end, like in Muslim legend.

[FelrikTheDeleted]

Another idea: The Chinese character turns out to be a Nestorian Christian. This is historically plausible, as there were some Nestorians in Tang Dynasty China during this period.

Then, in one of the final scenes, Leo accepts Maslama's surrender. And behind Leo, there stands Tervel Khan (who is an Orthodox Christian in this movie, as he may have been in history as well), together with the Nestorian Chinese character, and the (monophysite) Coptic ship captain, and - why not - some kind of Italian or Frankish or otherwise Latin Christian knight.

It will be magnificent.

[-Fahrong-]

Honestly this sounds like an Eastern European War epic rather then a Holly Wood film...

Not that thats a bad thing, I love my War Epics like Michael the Brave.

[FelrikTheDeleted]

Honestly this sounds like an Eastern European War epic rather then a Holly Wood film...

Not that thats a bad thing, I love my War Epics like Michael the Brave.

As long as it shows the awesomeness of Christendom.

[Auristania]

Honestly this sounds like an Eastern European War epic rather then a Holly Wood film...

Not that thats a bad thing, I love my War Epics like Michael the Brave.

Just make Maslama al Malik a Brit and Hollywood will lap it up.

[Herskerstad]

Should make it a trilogy.

[Czechanada]

Oh, I agree completely. Leo's actions in 717-718 were in fact so heroic and of such immense historical importance that I desperately want to see an epic Hollywood movie about them - and I'll even forgive the inevitable departures from historical reality if it means I can get my movie. They can add an Arab love interest for Leo or whatever, I don't care, just make "The Siege" already!

Oooooooooooh.

Americans would love it (Christian Europeans defeat Muslims), Russians would love it (brave Orthodox Christians in mighty triumph), special effects-hardened blockbuster crowds would love it (several hundred ships go up in flames as Greek Fire is unleashed on the Caliphate's navy via pressurised nozzles), and while the Chinese would be indifferent, they can be mollified by insertion of Chinese trader travelling in 8th-century Constantinople.

And since Leo III was born in a border region of northern Syria before its conquest by the Caliphate, and the Empress Maria only enters history with Leo's coronation, you can even have that tragic Arab love interest without terribly stretching the historical record.

I should have a word with someone.

Just so long as Hollywood doesn't decide to use Leo's birth name; I'm not sure I could stomach a film called Konon the Conqueror. And we need to make sure that Maslama al-Malik is a suitably stereotypically noble commander of the Umayyad armies.

Actually, I've read that the Chinese particularly enjoy films that have heavy use of computer generated special effects, so such a film might be popular.

[Jamzmania]

I'm not familiar with what is going on in Russia. What's up?

Restrictions on street preaching (Bans in many cities), restrictions on home worship, and efforts to close their religious structures.

While I might understand suppression of Scientology (I hear they do some nasty shit), Mormonism and Jehovah's Witnesses, while obviously wrong, should not be subject to government suppression. That is a violation of the basic human right of freedom of worship.