Best Copypasta or Internet Quote/Meme?

[Vaunyrus]

So, I brought this up on my RMB, but I feel like NSG is better, sooooooooooooo let's hit this shit. This is literally my most favorite copypasta ever. It's glorious. Please tell me yours!


forgive english, i am Russia.

[REDACTED BY MOD FOR PG-13 VIOLATION]



Please note, this thread may border on offensive, as jokes often can be, so please attempt to be open-minded. Please don't start any unnecessary debates. This is just a general discussion of the world's dankest internet content. Arigato!


^ THIS IS AN OFFICIAL TRIGGER WARNING.

[Gatito]

It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression of excitement.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (What did this man speak of?)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Oh, I understand. Yes.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Hey, I have acquired a peanut house.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Do not lose memory of this, male child.)
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house. (Positive.)
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression to catch someone's attention.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Fragments of ground nuts.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression of surprise)
It is in fact the peanut house.
Hoough.
Phil's from San Francisco, in northern California is a hilly city on the tip of a peninsula surrounded by the Pacific Ocean in San Francisco Bay. It's known for its year-round fog, iconic Golden Gate Bridge, cable cars and colorful Victorian houses.
Jack is from the Philippines, which is a southeast Asian country in the western Pacific, comprising more than seven thousand islands. It's capital, Manila, is famous for it's waterfront promenade and centuries old Chinatown, Binondo. Intramuros, A walled city in colonial times, is the heart of old Manila.
An abomination is homosexual.
Tito testicle "testicle man" male infant. He has cared for Phil and is satisfied by anime school girls.
Jack is fashionably attractive and impressive, as well as being unwilling to work or use energy. He is still being educated.
He is a pie baked with a cherry filling. Traditionally, cherry pie is made with tart, rather than sweet cherries. However, he is still is not experienced in intercourse.
Chita, please encounter the most abnormal of the seven days. Phil's crony, as well as Jack wanting her to be his soulmate. However, despite his efforts, this occasion shall not be taking place any time soon.
Rapidly move your body, as if you are experiencing a sudden attack of illness, especially a stroke, or an epileptic fit.
Allow me to commence my inhalation dose of weed into my respiratory system.
I've acquired a berry, typically green, classified as white, purple, red, or black, growing in clusters on a grapevine, eaten as fruit, and used in making wine.
What may you be witnessing, male offspring of an animal?
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.

Source.

[Vaunyrus]

It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression of excitement.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (What did this man speak of?)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Oh, I understand. Yes.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Hey, I have acquired a peanut house.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Do not lose memory of this, male child.)
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house. (Positive.)
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression to catch someone's attention.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Fragments of ground nuts.)
It is in fact the peanut house. (Expression of surprise)
It is in fact the peanut house.
Hoough.
Phil's from San Francisco, in northern California is a hilly city on the tip of a peninsula surrounded by the Pacific Ocean in San Francisco Bay. It's known for its year-round fog, iconic Golden Gate Bridge, cable cars and colorful Victorian houses.
Jack is from the Philippines, which is a southeast Asian country in the western Pacific, comprising more than seven thousand islands. It's capital, Manila, is famous for it's waterfront promenade and centuries old Chinatown, Binondo. Intramuros, A walled city in colonial times, is the heart of old Manila.
An abomination is homosexual.
Tito testicle "testicle man" male infant. He has cared for Phil and is satisfied by anime school girls.
Jack is fashionably attractive and impressive, as well as being unwilling to work or use energy. He is still being educated.
He is a pie baked with a cherry filling. Traditionally, cherry pie is made with tart, rather than sweet cherries. However, he is still is not experienced in intercourse.
Chita, please encounter the most abnormal of the seven days. Phil's crony, as well as Jack wanting her to be his soulmate. However, despite his efforts, this occasion shall not be taking place any time soon.
Rapidly move your body, as if you are experiencing a sudden attack of illness, especially a stroke, or an epileptic fit.
Allow me to commence my inhalation dose of weed into my respiratory system.
I've acquired a berry, typically green, classified as white, purple, red, or black, growing in clusters on a grapevine, eaten as fruit, and used in making wine.
What may you be witnessing, male offspring of an animal?
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.
It is in fact the peanut house.

Source.

I counter you with this:

In 7th grade, I took an SAT test without preparing for it at all, it was spur-of-the-moment, I knew about it about an hour ahead of time and didn't do any research or anything. I scored higher on it than the average person using it to apply for college in my area. An IQ test has shown me to be in the 99.9th percentile for IQ. This is the highest result the test I was given reaches; anything further and they'd consider it to be within the margin of error for that test. My mother's boyfriend of 8 years is an aerospace engineer who graduated Virginia Tech. At the age of 15, I understand physics better than him, and I owe very little of it to him, as he would rarely give me a decent explanation of anything, just tell me that my ideas were wrong and become aggravated with me for not quite understanding thermodynamics. He's not particularly successful as an engineer, but I've met lots of other engineers who aren't as good as me at physics, so I'm guessing that's not just a result of him being bad at it. I'm also pretty good at engineering. I don't have a degree, and other than physics I don't have a better understanding of any aspect of engineering than any actual engineer, but I have lots of ingenuity for inventing new things. For example, I independently invented regenerative brakes before finding out what they were, and I was only seven or eight years old when I started inventing wireless electricity solutions (my first idea being to use a powerful infrared laser to transmit energy; admittedly not the best plan). I have independently thought of basically every branch of philosophy I've come across. Every question of existentialism which I've seen discussed in SMBC or xkcd or Reddit or anywhere else, the thoughts haven't been new to me. Philosophy has pretty much gotten trivial for me; I've considered taking a philosophy course just to see how easy it is. Psychology, I actually understand better than people with degrees. Unlike engineering, there's no aspect of psychology which I don't have a very good understanding of. I can debunk many of even Sigmund Freud's theories. I'm a good enough writer that I'm writing a book and so far everybody who's read any of it has said it was really good and plausible to expect to have published. And that's not just, like, me and family members, that counts strangers on the Internet. I've heard zero negative appraisal of it so far; people have critiqued it, but not insulted it. I don't know if that will suffice as evidence that I'm intelligent. I'm done with it, though, because I'd rather defend my maturity, since it's what you've spent the most time attacking. The following are some examples of my morals and ethical code. I believe firmly that everybody deserves a future. If we were to capture Hitler at the end of WWII, I would be against executing him. In fact, if we had any way of rehabilitating him and knowing that he wasn't just faking it, I'd even support the concept of letting him go free. This is essentially because I think that whoever you are in the present is a separate entity from who you were in the past and who you are in the future, and while your present self should take responsibility for your past self's actions, it shouldn't be punished for them simply for the sake of punishment, especially if the present self regrets the actions of the past self and feels genuine guilt about them. I don't believe in judgement of people based on their personal choices as long as those personal choices aren't harming others. I don't have any issue with any type of sexuality whatsoever (short of physically acting out necrophilia, pedophilia, or other acts which have a harmful affect on others - but I don't care what a person's fantasies consist of, as long as they recognize the difference between reality and fiction and can separate them). I don't have any issue with anybody over what type of music they listen to, or clothes they wear, etc. I know that's not really an impressive moral, but it's unfortunately rare; a great many people, especially those my age, are judgmental about these things. I love everyone, even people I hate. I wish my worst enemies good fortune and happiness. Rick Perry is a vile, piece of shit human being, deserving of zero respect, but I wish for him to change for the better and live the best life possible. I wish this for everyone. I'm pretty much a pacifist. I've taken a broken nose without fighting back or seeking retribution, because the guy stopped punching after that. The only time I'll fight back is if 1) the person attacking me shows no signs of stopping and 2) if I don't attack, I'll come out worse than the other person will if I do. In other words, if fighting someone is going to end up being more harmful to them than just letting them go will be to me, I don't fight back. I've therefore never had a reason to fight back against anyone in anything serious, because my ability to take pain has so far made it so that I'm never in a situation where I'll be worse off after a fight. If I'm not going to get any hospitalizing injuries, I really don't care. The only exception is if someone is going after my life. Even then, I'll do the minimum amount of harm to them that I possibly can in protecting myself. If someone points a gun at me and I can get out of it without harming them, I'd prefer to do that over killing them. I consider myself a feminist. I don't believe in enforced or uniform gender roles; they may happen naturally, but they should never be coerced into happening unnaturally. As in, the societal pressure for gender roles should really go, even if it'll turn out that the majority of relationships continue operating the same way of their own accord. I treat women with the same outlook I treat men, and never participate in the old Reddit "women are crazy" circlejerk, because there are multiple women out there and each have different personalities just like there are multiple men out there and each with different personalities. I don't think you do much of anything except scare off the awesome women out there by going on and on about the ones who aren't awesome. That doesn't mean I look for places to victimize women, I just don't believe it's fair to make generalizations such as the one about women acting like everything's OK when it's really not (and that's a particularly harsh example, because all humans do that). I'm kind of tired of citing these examples and I'm guessing you're getting tired of reading them, if you've even made it this far. In closing, the people who know me in real life all respect me, as do a great many people in the Reddit brony community, where I spend most of my time and where I'm pretty known for being helpful around the community. A lot of people in my segment of the community are depressed or going through hard times, and I spend a lot of time giving advice and support to people there. Yesterday someone quoted a case of me doing this in a post asking everyone what their favorite motivational/inspirational quote was, and that comment was second to the top, so I guess other people agreed (though, granted, it was a pretty low-traffic post, only about a dozen competing comments). And, uh, I'm a pretty good moderator. All that, and I think your behavior in this thread was totally assholish. So what do you think, now that you at least slightly know me?

[Gatito]

-snip-

-snip-

Allow me to retaliate with an even more underground copypasta.

The story of Tommy Nitro is essentially this: An average teenage metrosexual complete with courier bag and gelled hair, gets accosted by three goons dressed up like red punching bags. Not making this crap up folks. The leader of this group is called “The Crimson Sausage” which may be a subtle suggestion for the benefit of the desperate housewives who’d normally buy something like this for their kids. The goons don’t actually beat Tommy up, they just call him names like “Tommy Salami”. Oooh… ice burn!


After his violent beati… talking-to by the bad guys, Tommy’s comic book comes alive and “Sensei Nobu”, the hero of said comic shows up to teach him Karate. Sensei Nobu is an unintentional metaphor for the ignorance of Eastern culture in the English speaking world. He’s ambiguously asian, dressed in a feudal Japanese outfit but sporting a Pai Mei/White Eybrow hairstyle complete with fu-manchu (as in Manchuria, CHINA) moustache and a long wispy beard.

The culturally confused Sensei Nobu informs Tommy that “Karate is not for attacking, it is used only for self-defense!”. This is brought up again later in the video when it’s said “There is no first attack in Karate.” This statement is 100% true because Andy Hug, K-1 Champion and Kyokushin Karate stylist had to fly all the way over to Thailand just to learn how to throw the first punch in a fight. It’s reported that this difficult transition took over six months of rigorous training. Normally, Karate sparring sessions go to the time limit with both participants just circling each other, except in those rare instances when one of the competitors trips and falls towards the other one. Since this can be considered an attack, his opponent responds promptly by kicking the falling man in the head before he hits the canvas for the win.

Aside from the soccer-mom, “think about the children” revisionism of the violence inherent in learning how to punch and kick people, the DVD teaches a few basic techniques for doing precisely this. Kids are shown “lunge punches”; round, side, and front kicks, and even an elbow strike, all of which, of course, could never be used to actually attack someone, as we all know.

Fear my “Squirrel nearly steals the acorn, but not quite” technique!

The video ends with a confrontation between the Crimson Sausage and his cronies, and Tommy Nitro and his cronies, the two 9 year old black belt kids. At this point I’m expecting some actual punching and kicking, especially considering the “bad” guys are dressed up as punching bags with targets on them exactly like the punching bag that comes with the playset. But noooo… we can’t have that. They challenge the Tommy NO2 and his 2 No No’s to a Kata, which of course the bad guys lose. But here is when the most priceless moment of the video takes place. Upon losing, they don’t want to leave according to the terms of the challenge, and challenge Sensei Nobu to make them leave. He responds, like any trained martial arts expert would, by jumping around punching and kicking the air in front of the punching bag-attired goons.

[Kyrusia]

No. We're not going to have a thread that amounts to purely memespam.

Further: for the content of your initial post, meme or not, Vaunyrus, you can have a *** warning for violation of the PG-13 Rule ***. The actual offensive content has been sequestered to the Evidence Locker. If you wish to know precisely what was inappropriate about your post, file a Getting Help Request.