The NFL Thread: 2018 Preseason

[Luminesa]

They would have had to bring their baggage in the first place.

"Where are the playbooks?"
"You didn't bring them?"
"YOU were supposed to bring them!"
"No, I wasn't, I distinctly told you ... aaawww, man ..."

Jenkins: *Looks at Beckham.*...You left 'em on the boat, didn't you?
Beckham:...Eheheh...
Rodgers: *Walks by them in the airport.* Left your game on the boat too, didn't you?
Beckham: I'M GONNA-*Restrained by Eli.*
Rodgers: Ah, let 'im go, Eli, if he can't catch a ball, he's not gonna catch me.
Beckham: AKSNDJDKSJDKFJFSLKSJ...

[Outer Sparta]

"Where are the playbooks?"
"You didn't bring them?"
"YOU were supposed to bring them!"
"No, I wasn't, I distinctly told you ... aaawww, man ..."

Jenkins: *Looks at Beckham.*...You left 'em on the boat, didn't you?
Beckham:...Eheheh...
Rodgers: *Walks by them in the airport.* Left your game on the boat too, didn't you?
Beckham: I'M GONNA-*Restrained by Eli.*
Rodgers: Ah, let 'im go, Eli, if he can't catch a ball, he's not gonna catch me.
Beckham: AKSNDJDKSJDKFJFSLKSJ...

Eli: That's enough jibber-jabber by you, Odell! Now, get on the plane, or else you'd freeze here and have Aaron Rodgers torture you.
Beckham walks into the plane, with his Beats headphones on.
Rodgers: That boat in Miami must've been something. Better to party after when your postseason is done, not before.
Eli: I'll tell him that.
Rodgers: Also, tell him to bring that kicking net on his next boating party.
Eli: Don't worry. I'll let him know.

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…
Matt Moore: I'm freezing to death!
Jay Ajayi: Thanks, Captain Obvious! We all are!
James Harrison: Looks like them Miami boys can't handle the cold, here.
Lawrence Timmons: Haha! That's right!
Jay Ajayi: What do you mean we can't be in the cold? That all of us would fear that Florida would be cold? *Punches Harrison*
Lawrence Timmons: That does it! *Timmons sits on Ajayi.
Suh comes up, and stomps on Harrison.
Ben Roethlisberger: Donkey Kong, you can't mess with us!
Suh: O really? *Suh punches Big Ben, but hurts himself since Big Ben is made of steel.

[Kohr]

Last year all the wild cards won their first game.

This year they all lost.

I really wish it would have been in the reverse order.

[Luminesa]

Jenkins: *Looks at Beckham.*...You left 'em on the boat, didn't you?
Beckham:...Eheheh...
Rodgers: *Walks by them in the airport.* Left your game on the boat too, didn't you?
Beckham: I'M GONNA-*Restrained by Eli.*
Rodgers: Ah, let 'im go, Eli, if he can't catch a ball, he's not gonna catch me.
Beckham: AKSNDJDKSJDKFJFSLKSJ...

Eli: That's enough jibber-jabber by you, Odell! Now, get on the plane, or else you'd freeze here and have Aaron Rodgers torture you.
Beckham walks into the plane, with his Beats headphones on.
Rodgers: That boat in Miami must've been something. Better to party after when your postseason is done, not before.
Eli: I'll tell him that.
Rodgers: Also, tell him to bring that kicking net on his next boating party.
Eli: Don't worry. I'll let him know.

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…
Matt Moore: I'm freezing to death!
Jay Ajayi: Thanks, Captain Obvious! We all are!
James Harrison: Looks like them Miami boys can't handle the cold, here.
Lawrence Timmons: Haha! That's right!
Jay Ajayi: What do you mean we can't be in the cold? That all of us would fear that Florida would be cold? *Punches Harrison*
Lawrence Timmons: That does it! *Timmons sits on Ajayi.
Suh comes up, and stomps on Harrison.
Ben Roethlisberger: Donkey Kong, you can't mess with us!
Suh: O really? *Suh punches Big Ben, but hurts himself since Big Ben is made of steel.

If Harrison, Suh, and Big Ben all got in a fight, I have a feeling someone would have to call the cops.

[United Kingdom of Poland]

Eli: That's enough jibber-jabber by you, Odell! Now, get on the plane, or else you'd freeze here and have Aaron Rodgers torture you.
Beckham walks into the plane, with his Beats headphones on.
Rodgers: That boat in Miami must've been something. Better to party after when your postseason is done, not before.
Eli: I'll tell him that.
Rodgers: Also, tell him to bring that kicking net on his next boating party.
Eli: Don't worry. I'll let him know.

Meanwhile, in Pittsburgh…
Matt Moore: I'm freezing to death!
Jay Ajayi: Thanks, Captain Obvious! We all are!
James Harrison: Looks like them Miami boys can't handle the cold, here.
Lawrence Timmons: Haha! That's right!
Jay Ajayi: What do you mean we can't be in the cold? That all of us would fear that Florida would be cold? *Punches Harrison*
Lawrence Timmons: That does it! *Timmons sits on Ajayi.
Suh comes up, and stomps on Harrison.
Ben Roethlisberger: Donkey Kong, you can't mess with us!
Suh: O really? *Suh punches Big Ben, but hurts himself since Big Ben is made of steel.

If Harrison, Suh, and Big Ben all got in a fight, I have a feeling someone would have to call the cops.

They probably had over a half dozen of SWAT teams on standby just in case that happened.

[Idzequitch]

So, over the weekend, we lost all of our wild card teams. So that leaves #1 Pats vs #4 Texans, #1 Cowboys vs #4 Packers, #2 Chiefs vs #3 Steelers, and #2 Falcons vs #3 Seahawks.

I'm a little disappointed there are no 5's or 6's left, but then again, Pittsburgh didn't lose, so I'll take it.

[Ameriganastan]

#2 Chiefs vs #3 Steelers.

This right here is a lose-lose for me. Either I root for a divisional rival (Who beat my team twice this year) or root for Mr. Date Rapist, and the schmucks who beat Denver back in the 05 AFC championship. I may just skip this one.

[Indian Empire]

Here's my divisional picks:

Houston @ New England- New England is far more talented. The last time these two played, The Patriots won with a 3rd string quarterback. Put Brady in place of Brissett and it only gets worse for Houston. I'd say New England wins by at least 3 touchdowns. Patriots 42, Texans 21

Pittsburgh @ Kansas City- Both of these teams are pretty even. Kansas City is excellent at home, but Pittsburgh is very good all-around. This game is likely a shootout, but I think the Chiefs have a slight edge by virtue of being at home. Chiefs 45, Steelers 41

Green Bay @ Dallas- Dallas doesn't have any playoff experience, and they'll be playing up against a experienced Quarterback named Aaron Rodgers. The Cowboys won the original game 30-16 sure, but Green Bay is going in a different direction now. Green Bay evidenced that they can play Defense in the blowout win over New York. This game will be very close and might go into overtime, but I'm going to take Green Bay. Packers 17, Cowboys 14 (OT)

Seattle @ Atlanta- This is a question of Seattle's defense. Can they stop the Falcons? If they can do that, they will certainly put up points against the Falcons, one of the NFL's worst defenses. Also, Pete Caroll knows how to perfectly demolish Dan Quinn's defense, since he was a formed D-Coordinator for the Seahawks. So, I think Seattle moves on for a rematch with Green Bay at home in the NFC Championship. Seahawks 28, Falcons 17

[Cymrea]

My divisional picks:

New England: Texans put up a good fight, but Brady's probably still eating orphan hearts for strength while snarling a pictures of Goodell.
Kansas City: I think this one will be a clash of well-matched teams and a tight finish, be it a shoot-out or a trench war.
Dallas: Packers did really well this year, but they're about to suck some Dak.
Seattle: Totally biased, here. My Hawks are underdogs, but I think they're clicking better than when they only narrowly beat the Dirty Birds.

[Drawkland]

Holy shit Aaron Rodgers is godly. He was on fire last night.

[Neo-Ixania]

Holy shit Aaron Rodgers is godly. He was on fire last night.

Last night?

The man is on a mission. Just three more tables to go.

[The Royal Kingdom of Quebec]

So, over the weekend, we lost all of our wild card teams. So that leaves #1 Pats vs #4 Texans, #1 Cowboys vs #4 Packers, #2 Chiefs vs #3 Steelers, and #2 Falcons vs #3 Seahawks.

I'm a little disappointed there are no 5's or 6's left, but then again, Pittsburgh didn't lose, so I'll take it.

Pats : Don't wanna think more about this game.

Steelers : Idk how in the world any of you can even think of Chiefs scoring a lot on this matchup. You must be on molly to think that a team with Alex Smith can score 45!!!

Their offence is simply not that impressive and winning last 2 against depleted Denver defence who was on field for like most of the game, and mediocre-at-best San Diego defence don't say a lot to me.It's little bit more likely that Steelers do it....People have often praised about how good Baltimore and Miami's defence, and boom Steelers scored a lot. Their defence has looked much better in recent weeks so I have to go with more balanced team.

Cowboys : To those thinking that Packers can play defence, after a poor Giants offence that's little bit more potent than Broncos (just as an example), has a poor OL and a turnover-prone Q, does not convince me. Dallas has very good OL and very good run defence (not that Packers have much running game anyway), which leaves it to the battle of 2 QBs. I think the team with good run-pass balance takes it.

Falcons : Seattle's away game, especially on offence, is not as impressive as its home offence. Atlanta has consistent offence. This can go either way though.

[The Alexanderians]

The..The Giants aren't in it....I was hoping for Pats vs Giants....
*sigh* GF is making me say this for her though..."Go Pats"

[Luminesa]

If Harrison, Suh, and Big Ben all got in a fight, I have a feeling someone would have to call the cops.

They probably had over a half dozen of SWAT teams on standby just in case that happened.

Oh yeah. XD

[Idzequitch]

I already know who I'm picking, but I'm gonna wait til later in the week to predict scores.

[Cymrea]

Steelers place assistant Coach Joey Porter on leave after arrest yesterday.

[Luminesa]

*Looks at Falcons.*
*Looks at Seahawks.*
*Looks at Falcons.*
*Seahawks.*
*Falcons.*

-______________-

[Cymrea]

*Looks at Falcons.*
*Looks at Seahawks.*
*Looks at Falcons.*
*Seahawks.*
*Falcons.*

-______________-

SEAHAWKS ARE MY (forgive me) CAPS LOCK OF THE WEEK!

[Idzequitch]

*Looks at Falcons.*
*Looks at Seahawks.*
*Looks at Falcons.*
*Seahawks.*
*Falcons.*

-______________-

On the bright side for you, one of them has to lose.

[Val Halla]

My plan of rooting for whoever knocks out the Texans has gone out the window x.x

I... Really don't want anyone to win. So I'll say Packers because they're the team with the best chance that I dislike less.

[Idzequitch]

My plan of rooting for whoever knocks out the Texans has gone out the window x.x

I... Really don't want anyone to win. So I'll say Packers because they're the team with the best chance that I dislike less.

What'd Pittsburgh ever do to you?

[Luminesa]

*Looks at Falcons.*
*Looks at Seahawks.*
*Looks at Falcons.*
*Seahawks.*
*Falcons.*

-______________-

On the bright side for you, one of them has to lose.

ROAST THE FALCONS!!!

[Kohr]

My plan of rooting for whoever knocks out the Texans has gone out the window x.x

I... Really don't want anyone to win. So I'll say Packers because they're the team with the best chance that I dislike less.

I haven't really thought about who I'd like to win the Super Bowl. I'll just talk myself through it:

I can't root for the Packers for obvious reasons.

The Seahawks, Cowboys, and Patriots are all teams I've grown to dislike these last few years, so I can't pull for any of them.

I won't root for the Texans or Falcons because I'm petty and don't want more teams experiencing the joy that has eluded the Vikings for 56 years.

I guess I'll take the winner of the Steelers-Chiefs game.

[Corrian]

I believe this is a factor any time someone plays in Century-Link Field.

I told my lions fan friend that he was crazy for wanting to play the Seahawks. He was all "but they're statisically a weaker opponent", and I'm all, "The team isn't what you should be afraid of, it's Century Link. I'm still sore over 2010 and 2013." >__>

Nothing like the stadium that picks up on earthquake meters because of the enthusiasm. I'm pretty sure I'd be shit scared in that arena.

[Idzequitch]

On the bright side for you, one of them has to lose.

ROAST THE FALCONS!!!

To be honest, I'm going for Atlanta in this one. They aren't our division rivals, and I kinda like Matt Ryan and Devonta Freeman.