Talking to women wearing headphones

[Anywhere Else But Here]

They shouldn't be walking around, bothering content people with frivolity. I'm not going to give you the time of day if you come at me with something that I don't care about.

Well, by all means, if it's something important like I'm in danger, bother me. If you're going to bother me only so you can drop some sleazy pick-up line and try to hit on me, then you can rightfully go to hell.

Eternal damnation seems a little harsh. I'd go with a stern glare and maybe a tut.

[Jeistic]

This is the worst idea for a thread ever.
Why the fuck do we even care?

Right.

[Lady Scylla]

Well, by all means, if it's something important like I'm in danger, bother me. If you're going to bother me only so you can drop some sleazy pick-up line and try to hit on me, then you can rightfully go to hell.

Could I drop some sleazy pick-up lines after saving you from danger?

"That bus would have hit me, you saved me life!"
"You know, this is why your mother told you to wear clean underwear everyday" *furious eyebrow waggling*

Oh my, I quiver before you!

[Lady Scylla]

Well, by all means, if it's something important like I'm in danger, bother me. If you're going to bother me only so you can drop some sleazy pick-up line and try to hit on me, then you can rightfully go to hell.

Eternal damnation seems a little harsh. I'd go with a stern glare and maybe a tut.

It's hyperbolic, but don't be surprised if I tell them to fuck off.

[Dakini]

BotherING people is rude and uncalled for.


Being busy doing something (like listening to headphones) is totally the universal symbol of "please do not talk to me".

Seriously, I had the most socially awkward officemate ever and even she understood this.


Because
1. Some guy wrote an article instructing men on how to bother women who are wearing headphones to inform them that you would like to put your penis inside them, which prompted people to go "srsly...no"
2. You keep acting like men who bother women when they're busy aren't being rude when they bother these women, but that women who react in any way other than with unflappable kindness are the absolute worst and you wouldn't be surprised if someone punched them for it.

How many times do we have to go around this, after saying no thank you have every right not to respond again.

I think you have the wrong office person with an issue, because on no planet is wearing headphones a sign of go away, it is merely wearing headphones.

A pick up artist is a jerk, all men are now jerks because someone wrote an asshole article?

1. I shouldn't have to say "no thank you". People should leave me alone when I'm obviously busy.
2. Wearing headphones was definitely the only way I could get this woman to not talk to me while I was working.
3. Please, point out where I claimed that all men were assholes. I'm waiting.

[Crockerland]

BotherING people is rude and uncalled for.


Being busy doing something (like listening to headphones) is totally the universal symbol of "please do not talk to me".

Seriously, I had the most socially awkward officemate ever and even she understood this.


Because
1. Some guy wrote an article instructing men on how to bother women who are wearing headphones to inform them that you would like to put your penis inside them, which prompted people to go "srsly...no"
2. You keep acting like men who bother women when they're busy aren't being rude when they bother these women, but that women who react in any way other than with unflappable kindness are the absolute worst and you wouldn't be surprised if someone punched them for it.

How many times do we have to go around this, after saying no thank you have every right not to respond again.

There is no reason to thank someone for being an asshat to you.
There is no reason to be polite to someone who has gone out of their way to be a prick to you.
It's not that complicated.

[Minzerland II]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

[Galloism]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

[Cannot think of a name]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

That doesn't follow.

[Galloism]

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

That doesn't follow.

Which part?

[Cannot think of a name]

That doesn't follow.

Which part?

Your conclusion. It doesn't follow. Even if you allow for it being a rather juvenile temper tantrum response to not being allowed to do something, it just doesn't follow. It's a rather twisted pretzel.

[Trollgaard]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

Wearing headphones in public is kinda rude in and of itself.

[Galloism]

Which part?

Your conclusion. It doesn't follow. Even if you allow for it being a rather juvenile temper tantrum response to not being allowed to do something, it just doesn't follow. It's a rather twisted pretzel.

That's what I'm listening to on my headphones the vast majority of the time. If headphones means 'do not disturb' in loud unequivocal terms, and I still want to listen to my music, I'll have to share it with the class.

Otherwise, I would be sending the wrong signal. This is what happens when you confuse 'courtesy for others' with other nebulous signals that the person wearing the headphones may or may not intend.

[USS Monitor]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

I'd rather listen to Nightwish than unwanted flirting if those are my two options.

[Veceria]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

I think most people would run over the hills and far away if that happened

[Reploid Productions]

I'd rather listen to Nightwish than unwanted flirting if those are my two options.

Ditto that. Endless Forms Most Beautiful has a lot of tracks I like on it.

But on the subject, I assume when I see someone with headphones on that they're occupied or otherwise don't want to be pestered. When I'm wearing headphones in public, it's partly because I don't want to disturb others, and largely because I don't want to be pestered. Somebody asking for the time, or for directions, or to alert me to having dropped something or whatever, that's one thing, that's fine and I have no problem responding.

The problem is, as anyone who read the sleazy pickup artist 'advice' on talking to a woman who is wearing headphones, which prompted the reactions online and this thread, is the sustained pestering. It specifically talks about not letting the woman ignore the sleazy pickup artist, and goes on at length on ways to try and basically harass her into a conversation whether she wants it or not. That is another thing, and that is not okay. We keep drifting from that core part of the conversation here, that there are sleazy pickup artists distributing advice online on how to harass a woman into giving the sleazy pickup artist their attention, even and especially if the woman makes it clear she is not interested.

I feel like there's an entire PSA poster ad campaign just waiting to be made out of "If she says no, let it go."

EDIT TO ADD:

I think most people would run over the hills and far away if that happened

Well played!

[Donut section]

Talking to people unnecessarily
Talking to people in public
Talking to women
Finding people attractive
Stoping doing what you're doing to talk to people
Being in public without something important to do
Stopping someone else from doing something important

Seven reasons not to do this, no reasons to do it.

[Minzerland II]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

It is abundantly obvious. I'd imagine that people listening to music don't want to be disturbed, yes? They want to listen to their music, not listen to the outside world and strangers. Also, you're exaggerating so much as to make your analogies pure hyperbole, thus are meaningless.

[Great Nepal]

Why does anyone need to speak to someone else with headphones plugged to their ear (excluding emergency)? It is abundantly obvious that they don't wish to be disturbed; seems like an exercise in futility to me.

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

Someone has carried out a survey on this, 55% of people use iPod for purpose of isolating themselves from others, given they're designed as musical devices the figure for actual headphones will probably be far higher. You may be a special case, but for most people - using headphones = don't interrupt unless its emergency.

[The Two Jerseys]

That is not abundantly obvious. I wear headphones pretty much all the time when I'm out. That doesn't signal anything of the kind. It merely means I wish to listen to music and am courteous enough not to disturb you with it.

Earphones means you don't want to be bothered in the same way high heels means you want everyone to know you hate elephants.

If this is truly a signal conveyed by headphones, I hope you like people playing Nightwish loudly in the checkout aisle. I wouldn't want to send the wrong signal.

Wearing headphones in public is kinda rude in and of itself.

I wouldn't say that wearing headphones in public is rude in itself, it's more of the belief that wearing headphones in public magically gives you an inviolable right to not have to interact with anyone that's rude.

[Bakery Hill]

Did anyone read the original article, with suggested dialogue and all? Fuck sake it was deluded.

[FelrikTheDeleted]

Did anyone read the original article, with suggested dialogue and all? Fuck sake it was deluded.

They're always deluded.

[Great Nepal]

Wearing headphones in public is kinda rude in and of itself.

I wouldn't say that wearing headphones in public is rude in itself, it's more of the belief that wearing headphones in public magically gives you an inviolable right to not have to interact with anyone that's rude.

Belief that you're entitled to interrupt other people's lives for no good reason is rather rude, far more rude than one which doesn't interfere with other people.

[Caracasus]

So basically...

Not acknowledging someone's attempts to converse with you if you're clearly occupied listening to music: Could be sort of rude depending on context.

Reading and following the "advice" in said article: Total arsehole.

I've yet to read, or see anything by a pickup artist that has changed my overall opinion that they're all colossal bell-ends of staggering, mind blowing proportions.

[Galloism]

I wouldn't say that wearing headphones in public is rude in itself, it's more of the belief that wearing headphones in public magically gives you an inviolable right to not have to interact with anyone that's rude.

Belief that you're entitled to interrupt other people's lives for no good reason is rather rude, far more rude than one which doesn't interfere with other people.

I do wonder how any of you ever meet new people if you can't converse with anyone you haven't conversed with before.