Relationship and getting one thread

[The Joseon Dynasty]

How do I get a woman if I'm socially inept, emotionally stunted, sexually depraved and physically repulsive? Thanks in advance for the input.

Find a woman who fits exactly that description, and if they're desperate for a relationship they'll be easy pickings.

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

[Cannot think of a name]

is the super dense hunk of muscle YOU or your intended?

I think if I was referring to myself as the dense dude I wouldn't even be posting since I know what the issue is.

Okay, but what do you mean by 'dealing with' and 'dense'? Like, is the cat slow or is he just really fucking stacked? Do you mean 'navigating his persistent ways' or 'do I start at the pecs and work my way to the butt or vice versa'?

[Allied Connurist States]

The issue with the bar is that people, myself included, often get drunk beyond making good decisions.

And it ain't too hard to get yourself halfway around the world these days.

true but its soooo expensive!

but that's just a matter of using your head, eh? TINDER will get you local girls. its no worse than the bar and no booze necessary.

Sometimes, people are worth more than any given amount of money.

But on the subject of tinder ; is anyone actually on there to look for a relationship, or is it just for people looking for meaningless sex?

[The Jaclean Empire]

Spraying an entire bottle of AXE body-spray on yourself will bring every girl in the area to you like moths to a flame. Works every time. Trust me that's how I got my wife.

But seriously just talk to girls you find attractive and find common interests.

[The East Marches]

Find a woman who fits exactly that description, and if they're desperate for a relationship they'll be easy pickings.

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

Then your only hope is money. You're gonna need lots of it.

[Ashmoria]

true but its soooo expensive!

but that's just a matter of using your head, eh? TINDER will get you local girls. its no worse than the bar and no booze necessary.

Sometimes, people are worth more than any given amount of money.

But on the subject of tinder ; is anyone actually on there to look for a relationship, or is it just for people looking for meaningless sex?

it really is just like the local bar. some are, some aren't.

[Kractero]

I think if I was referring to myself as the dense dude I wouldn't even be posting since I know what the issue is.

some women are rather muscular.

why haven't you asked him out?

The stories he's told me about his old girlfriend makes me kinda not wanting to ask him.

He doesn't even know that I like him no matter how many hints I throw

[Ashmoria]

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

Then your only hope is money. You're gonna need lots of it.

for sure!
play the lottery! become an investment banker! invent the hot new iPhone app!

[Ashmoria]

some women are rather muscular.

why haven't you asked him out?

The stories he's told me about his old girlfriend makes me kinda not wanting to ask him.

He doesn't even know that I like him no matter how many hints I throw

oh just ask him out. its a freaking date if it turns out to be a mistake what have you lost?

[The Joseon Dynasty]

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

Then your only hope is money. You're gonna need lots of it.

Well, I'm going to be a graduate student living at poverty line for the next 5 years or so, then a post-doc living below the poverty line. I should have tenure and a standard middle class salary by the time I'm 40, though.

[Allied Connurist States]

Sometimes, people are worth more than any given amount of money.

But on the subject of tinder ; is anyone actually on there to look for a relationship, or is it just for people looking for meaningless sex?

it really is just like the local bar. some are, some aren't.

Fuck it, it can't hurt.

My phone is old as hell and can't have it, but I think it should work on an iPad.

[The East Marches]

Then your only hope is money. You're gonna need lots of it.

Well, I'm going to be a graduate student living at poverty line for the next 5 years or so, then a post-doc living below the poverty line. I should have tenure and a standard middle class salary by the time I'm 40, though.

There is hope, you could pull it off. Remember that a pre-nup and a good lawyer is your friend. Don't get married in a liberal state. Thats my advice to you.

[Ashmoria]

Then your only hope is money. You're gonna need lots of it.

Well, I'm going to be a graduate student living at poverty line for the next 5 years or so, then a post-doc living below the poverty line. I should have tenure and a standard middle class salary by the time I'm 40, though.

nooooo you need BIG money.

and for your own sake reconsider your career path. phds are so fucked these days. thousands are living below the poverty line as adjunct professors.

[Ashmoria]

it really is just like the local bar. some are, some aren't.

Fuck it, it can't hurt.

My phone is old as hell and can't have it, but I think it should work on an iPad.

youll have to carry it around with you, eh?

[Appalatchia]

So far as diamond rings go, I can't see myself ever getting one. Every buying instinct I have just screams that it is a bad investment. These are not rare gemstones. It stands to reason that carbon is almost everywhere and for that reason, so too will diamonds. The DeBeers company just wants people to believe that "a diamond is forever" when it loses its value like any other item.

To me, a diamond is just a shiny rock. A cubic zirconium looks just as good in my view but if you want a real diamond, you can technically have it made in a laboratory for cheaper with fewer imperfections than the natural equivalent; and not relying on inhumane labor practices overseas to mine it.

Is there a form of rare rock that you would spend money on? Would you do it anyway if your SO really wanted a diamond?

Personally I think emeralds are more beautiful than diamonds. But if I was to marry someone they'd have to be someone I love a lot anyway, because marriage isn't one of my personal goals. So if they really wanted to be traditional and have a diamond I'd probably just stick with that.

[Allied Connurist States]

Fuck it, it can't hurt.

My phone is old as hell and can't have it, but I think it should work on an iPad.

youll have to carry it around with you, eh?

I have large pockets, I suppose.

I'll actually have a reason to use the thing for once too ; all it does is collect dust right now.

[United Marxist Nations]

some women are rather muscular.

why haven't you asked him out?

The stories he's told me about his old girlfriend makes me kinda not wanting to ask him.

He doesn't even know that I like him no matter how many hints I throw

Because I have, a few times, had people tell me that girl liked me as much as years afterward, I can say pretty sincerely that the hints most girls throw around are either way too subtle, or a significant subset of us males are just terrible at picking up obvious things. He would probably prefer it if you were up-front.

[Appalatchia]

I also tend to be really passive when it comes to relationships. Which means me getting married would probably involve me being the one getting asked. I think me ever marrying a man is very unlikely. I don't form romantic connections in the same way with men, although I'm not ruling it out, I'm only just out of college and there's a lot of people to meet in the world. But probably I'd have to be with a woman who bucks tradition, which is more my style anyway, and proposes to me.

[Big Jim P]

Just start flirting on NSG. Worked for me.

[Appalatchia]

Sometimes, people are worth more than any given amount of money.

But on the subject of tinder ; is anyone actually on there to look for a relationship, or is it just for people looking for meaningless sex?

it really is just like the local bar. some are, some aren't.

I had a friend who started dating a guy he met on Tinder. It lasted a few months but didn't end well for him, the Tinder guy left as soon as he felt like the relationship was getting too serious. This friend got way too attached and that's not what the other guy was looking for.

[Cannot think of a name]

Find a woman who fits exactly that description, and if they're desperate for a relationship they'll be easy pickings.

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

Wait, so you hate yourself and everything about you, but the women you meet have to be perfect.

Like, you know this is a loneliness of your own design? Of course you do. That's part of the whole...deal you got going. Some part of you thinks this is a kind of tragic cool, self deprecating your way to awesome. It seems like it works because for the most part people are either decent and will say, "Hey, buck up there camper, you're not so bad looking" but you know that won't land because you know they're being decent and you trapped them in a position to say that or they're looking to get out of this awkward situation as quick as possible and will say something noncommittally nice and bounce at the first opportunity and that will feed your narrative.

So it's an outlook that seems like it works but doesn't feel like it works because you know it's manipulative so it's not satisfying. Plus, it's a drag to be around someone who needs constant validation (there is an irony in that sometimes this will manifest as a direct reaction to the need for validation where you think you're rejecting that need but instead you're turning it up to 11).

Here's the thing, women are more or less just like you except they have to sit down to pee. They have insecurities and parts about them they hate and dueling expectations between what they think they want and what they really want and moments of feeling like no one wants the person they really are or no one could love them because of x or y. They have dreams and fantasies and dark harsh moments of reality that are sometimes just as made up as the fantasies and sometimes they're not. Even when you're not their soulmate they might spend the entire conversation going, "Shit, do I have something in my teeth? This dude is just sitting there staring at some bit of food in my teeth thinking I'm the most disgusting creature in the world. God I could just curl up and fucking die, this is the worst thing ever. I need to get out of this conversation and brush my teeth and then hide under a rock and never talk to human beings ever again," meanwhile you're going, "Man, this woman can't get away from me fast enough. I must be horrible."

When you collide with people you're only getting the slightest glimpse of their world, a glancing blow of all of their securities, insecurities, experiences, desires, how breakfast went, what traffic was like, etc etc etc.

If you've ever blown someone off because you're holding in a fart but didn't want them to know or end up in ground zero, then you can understand that people just like you do things for all manner of reasons.

[Immoren]

We do have couple people here who met on NS and ended up getting married.

I actually once had a decent relationship with someone I met on NS, but that's a completely different story.

But I mean like actual sites or apps meant for that kind of thing.

Well you should've specified.

[The Joseon Dynasty]

I forgot to mention that I hold women to unrealistically high standards.

Wait, so you hate yourself and everything about you, but the women you meet have to be perfect.

Like, you know this is a loneliness of your own design? Of course you do. That's part of the whole...deal you got going. Some part of you thinks this is a kind of tragic cool, self deprecating your way to awesome. It seems like it works because for the most part people are either decent and will say, "Hey, buck up there camper, you're not so bad looking" but you know that won't land because you know they're being decent and you trapped them in a position to say that or they're looking to get out of this awkward situation as quick as possible and will say something noncommittally nice and bounce at the first opportunity and that will feed your narrative.

So it's an outlook that seems like it works but doesn't feel like it works because you know it's manipulative so it's not satisfying. Plus, it's a drag to be around someone who needs constant validation (there is an irony in that sometimes this will manifest as a direct reaction to the need for validation where you think you're rejecting that need but instead you're turning it up to 11).

Here's the thing, women are more or less just like you except they have to sit down to pee. They have insecurities and parts about them they hate and dueling expectations between what they think they want and what they really want and moments of feeling like no one wants the person they really are or no one could love them because of x or y. They have dreams and fantasies and dark harsh moments of reality that are sometimes just as made up as the fantasies and sometimes they're not. Even when you're not their soulmate they might spend the entire conversation going, "Shit, do I have something in my teeth? This dude is just sitting there staring at some bit of food in my teeth thinking I'm the most disgusting creature in the world. God I could just curl up and fucking die, this is the worst thing ever. I need to get out of this conversation and brush my teeth and then hide under a rock and never talk to human beings ever again," meanwhile you're going, "Man, this woman can't get away from me fast enough. I must be horrible."

When you collide with people you're only getting the slightest glimpse of their world, a glancing blow of all of their securities, insecurities, experiences, desires, how breakfast went, what traffic was like, etc etc etc.

If you've ever blown someone off because you're holding in a fart but didn't want them to know or end up in ground zero, then you can understand that people just like you do things for all manner of reasons.

Oh, I was just making a joke about what these sorts of threads tend to be like. Astute psychological dissection, though.

[Ashmoria]

it really is just like the local bar. some are, some aren't.

I had a friend who started dating a guy he met on Tinder. It lasted a few months but didn't end well for him, the Tinder guy left as soon as he felt like the relationship was getting too serious. This friend got way too attached and that's not what the other guy was looking for.

just like real life, eh?

its just a way of meeting people. what happens next is up to the 2 of you.

[Allied Connurist States]

I actually once had a decent relationship with someone I met on NS, but that's a completely different story.

But I mean like actual sites or apps meant for that kind of thing.

Well you should've specified.

True, perhaps, but I have specified now, my friend.