Relationship and getting one thread

[Yorkers]

As weird as it sounds given that I'm nearing graduating college, I have rekindled my relationship with my high school sweetheart. We spent a day at the beach together than I took her out to dinner at a nice oyster bar.

Thinking of posting a picture of us at the restaurant in the "post what you look like" thread, but there are privacy concerns.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

How to find a relationship: Don't openly show you're interested in them. Girls (especially beautiful ones) are so used to Guys fawning over them, it sparks an interest when one doesn't. (I legitimately had a Girl ask me if I was gay because I was looking in her eyes, not down her shirt). Being athletic helps as well, although not everyone is so lucky. Confidence is another big boost. Walk with your head up and all that jazz. Don't be too clingy either. It gets really annoying really fast. Wait 10-15 minutes to text back. One easy way for nerdy Guys is to ask a really pretty Girl. Start with going to a dance,movie whatever. She'll be so surprised you were brave enough to ask, she'll usually say yes. (Note, this can backfire. Some girls get off on being bitchy and will respond rudely.) Last but not least, treat her like a Human being. Hold her hand instead of her butt, listen to her problems, give compliments etc.

How to get laid: 1. Be honest about what you're looking for. Don't sell her some song and dance about being in love, just say you're looking for fun. It'll turn a few off, but far more will appreciate your honesty. 2. Lose your virginity young, around 15 or 16. The more practice you have, the better. (Plus a lot of Girls seem to have this weird thing about not wanting virgin Guys. At least in my experience.) 3. Don't be a selfish partner, and practice at it. You know what I mean. 4. DO NOT go for drunk girls. This only leads to trouble. 5. Start with older Women. No fear of going to jail because someone lied about her age, and they can teach you a lot more. 6. STD testing is a must. Do not trust someone to be honest about it. Get one yourself as well, as a show of good faith. That's all folks. Good night, and good luck to you.

What a load of BS. If you don't show interest, unless a person is a medium, they won't know of your interest.

Please. This is kindergarten advice. Something straight out of the pages of Cosmopolitan.

[Grenartia]

How to find a relationship: Don't openly show you're interested in them. Girls (especially beautiful ones) are so used to Guys fawning over them, it sparks an interest when one doesn't. (I legitimately had a Girl ask me if I was gay because I was looking in her eyes, not down her shirt). Being athletic helps as well, although not everyone is so lucky. Confidence is another big boost. Walk with your head up and all that jazz. Don't be too clingy either. It gets really annoying really fast. Wait 10-15 minutes to text back. One easy way for nerdy Guys is to ask a really pretty Girl. Start with going to a dance,movie whatever. She'll be so surprised you were brave enough to ask, she'll usually say yes. (Note, this can backfire. Some girls get off on being bitchy and will respond rudely.) Last but not least, treat her like a Human being. Hold her hand instead of her butt, listen to her problems, give compliments etc.

How to get laid: 1. Be honest about what you're looking for. Don't sell her some song and dance about being in love, just say you're looking for fun. It'll turn a few off, but far more will appreciate your honesty. 2. Lose your virginity young, around 15 or 16. The more practice you have, the better. (Plus a lot of Girls seem to have this weird thing about not wanting virgin Guys. At least in my experience.) 3. Don't be a selfish partner, and practice at it. You know what I mean. 4. DO NOT go for drunk girls. This only leads to trouble. 5. Start with older Women. No fear of going to jail because someone lied about her age, and they can teach you a lot more. 6. STD testing is a must. Do not trust someone to be honest about it. Get one yourself as well, as a show of good faith. That's all folks. Good night, and good luck to you.

What a load of BS. If you don't show interest, unless a person is a medium, they won't know of your interest.

Please. This is kindergarten advice. Something straight out of the pages of Cosmopolitan.

The fact that enough people buy Cosmo for it to remain economically viable to publish makes me weep for the future of humanity.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

What a load of BS. If you don't show interest, unless a person is a medium, they won't know of your interest.

Please. This is kindergarten advice. Something straight out of the pages of Cosmopolitan.

The fact that enough people buy Cosmo for it to remain economically viable to publish makes me weep for the future of humanity.

Some people truly like to be spoonfed shit about faux relationships.

[Arkolon]

What a load of BS. If you don't show interest, unless a person is a medium, they won't know of your interest.

Please. This is kindergarten advice. Something straight out of the pages of Cosmopolitan.

The fact that enough people buy Cosmo for it to remain economically viable to publish makes me weep for the future of humanity.

It's more absurdly entertaining than anything. My girlfriend uses it for comic relief. I think.

[Grenartia]

The fact that enough people buy Cosmo for it to remain economically viable to publish makes me weep for the future of humanity.

It's more absurdly entertaining than anything. My girlfriend uses it for comic relief. I think.

Yeah, but what percentage of the people who buy it actually think of it more as absurd entertainment?

[Ethel mermania]

The fact that enough people buy Cosmo for it to remain economically viable to publish makes me weep for the future of humanity.

Some people truly like to be spoonfed shit about faux relationships.

Pish posh I say, #6, in 10 ways to please your pussy was a real eye opener.

[Arkolon]

It's more absurdly entertaining than anything. My girlfriend uses it for comic relief. I think.

Yeah, but what percentage of the people who buy it actually think of it more as absurd entertainment?

Male-oriented websites and magazines exist with the same amount of intellect, so that kind of magazine/website isn't just limited to women or Cosmo. What exactly about Cosmo and its articles do you have issues with? I don't particularly like it, I'm just curious.

[Chessmistress]

It's barely understandable for me, since it's the very opposite reaction I, as bisexual woman, got: most men seems actually turned on by the fact that the woman is bisexual.
I also guess there are many problems, and shame, when you have to ask for anal sex to an hetero woman. I never dated a bisexual guy but I suppose they almost universally enjoy it, since even some hetero guys enjoy it: incidentally, the most testosteronic ones - it may be due they don't feel the need to look masculine at any time, since they really are.

Bi guy, can confirm, being bi girl is definitely a plus. For sexy reasons, yes, but for other reasons too.

What other reasons?
However I don't enjoy such "plus" since I refuse to date guys, since years, and my partner is a woman.

[Kelinfort]

And to the weird, creepy bisexual/pansexual men?

It depends. I don't think they're creepy, I think that very often they're WAY more interesting than hetero guys.
But I guess they can have HUGE problems dealing with more or less 63% women:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gla ... 0245c57d6a

While 63 percent of those surveyed said they’d opt out of traditional labels like “homosexual,” “heterosexual” and “bisexual,” the same percentage also said they wouldn’t date a man who has slept with another man.

It's barely understandable for me, since it's the very opposite reaction I, as bisexual woman, got: most men seems actually turned on by the fact that the woman is bisexual.
I also guess there are many problems, and shame, when you have to ask for anal sex to an hetero woman. I never dated a bisexual guy but I suppose they almost universally enjoy it, since even some hetero guys enjoy it: incidentally, the most testosteronic ones - it may be due they don't feel the need to look masculine at any time, since they really are.

I was just kidding about the "creepy" quote, for the same reason you described above. I don't know why many women have hat exact prejudice concerning bisexual men. When I came out to my mother, she had trouble understanding just how someone could be bisexual (pansexual in my case). Apparently, she thinks a person is either homosexual or heterosexual. But I digress.

I've been lucky enough to have a girlfriend who also happens to be pansexual. I feel a lot more secure around women who don't look down on my sexuality.

[Costa Fierro]

I would also argue confidence helps. At the very least in limited experience of what doesn't work, I've found that everybody appreciates confidence.

Confidence isn't really a choice. It is hard to be confident in something you have no experience in.

Exactly. A lot of people don't seem to understand this, or think it can be fixed by a mere attitude adjustment, basically to the tune of "think happy thoughts". It doesn't work. People who are socially awkward or have social anxiety can't just walk up to even strangers of the same sex and strike up a conversation willy-nilly, so most of the "advice" you see on the internet is just a waste of time.

Confidence is also tied in with self esteem and the lack of it can really screw with your perceptions, something that "faking it" as they call it cannot hide.

No it isn't. You just put your best James Earl Jones voice on, and keep telling yourself not to be a fkng pussy.

Case in point. How does telling yourself to "not be a fucking pussy" help someone who either can't be around people without becoming extremely anxious or has such a low opinion of themselves that approaching them is out of the question?

My suggestion for heterosexual guys who wish to get and maintain a relationship is very simple: just treat women as equal human beings.

There is not enough salt on this earth for me to take anything you say with regards to men seriously.

[Kelinfort]

Bi guy, can confirm, being bi girl is definitely a plus. For sexy reasons, yes, but for other reasons too.

What other reasons?
However I don't enjoy such "plus" since I refuse to date guys, since years, and my partner is a woman.

You shouldn't outright refuse to date any demographic, unless you're not attracted to them.

[May Mays]

Confidence isn't really a choice. It is hard to be confident in something you have no experience in.

No it isn't. You just put your best James Earl Jones voice on, and keep telling yourself not to be a fkng pussy.

Case in point. How does telling yourself to "not be a fucking pussy" help someone who either can't be around people without becoming extremely anxious or has such a low opinion of themselves that approaching them is out of the question?

There's nothing anybody can do about someone's poor self-esteem. My point is not that you literally need to tell yourself not to be a pussy, but that the only way you will ever overcome your anxiety is by "sucking it up". Nobody can fix it for you. You just have to come to the realization that what some idiot on the street thinks of you does not matter.

I suppose you could stock up on phenibut, cocaine and kratom but that would cause a host of other problems.

[Costa Fierro]

There's nothing anybody can do about someone's poor self-esteem. My point is not that you literally need to tell yourself not to be a pussy, but that the only way you will ever overcome your anxiety is by "sucking it up".

Again, that's not how it works. "Sucking it up" is exactly the same thing as "faking it". It is an utterly stupid thing to suggest to people.

Nobody can fix it for you.

So all those people with social anxiety who went to therapy and got the tools to manage their anxiety better don't know what they're talking about, right? But someone on the internet who likely has no anxiety issues when it comes to interacting with people does?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Confidence isn't really a choice. It is hard to be confident in something you have no experience in.

Exactly. A lot of people don't seem to understand this, or think it can be fixed by a mere attitude adjustment, basically to the tune of "think happy thoughts". It doesn't work. People who are socially awkward or have social anxiety can't just walk up to even strangers of the same sex and strike up a conversation willy-nilly, so most of the "advice" you see on the internet is just a waste of time.

Confidence is also tied in with self esteem and the lack of it can really screw with your perceptions, something that "faking it" as they call it cannot hide.

If you can't even talk to people for whatever reasons, I would suggest you start on trying to be more social, or to at least talk to people in a social setting -- from a classroom to a party, doesn't matter.

You can't hope to run before you know how to crawl.

[Chessmistress]

It depends. I don't think they're creepy, I think that very often they're WAY more interesting than hetero guys.
But I guess they can have HUGE problems dealing with more or less 63% women:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/entry/gla ... 0245c57d6a

It's barely understandable for me, since it's the very opposite reaction I, as bisexual woman, got: most men seems actually turned on by the fact that the woman is bisexual.
I also guess there are many problems, and shame, when you have to ask for anal sex to an hetero woman. I never dated a bisexual guy but I suppose they almost universally enjoy it, since even some hetero guys enjoy it: incidentally, the most testosteronic ones - it may be due they don't feel the need to look masculine at any time, since they really are.

I was just kidding about the "creepy" quote, for the same reason you described above. I don't know why many women have hat exact prejudice concerning bisexual men. When I came out to my mother, she had trouble understanding just how someone could be bisexual (pansexual in my case). Apparently, she thinks a person is either homosexual or heterosexual. But I digress.

I've been lucky enough to have a girlfriend who also happens to be pansexual. I feel a lot more secure around women who don't look down on my sexuality.

I expected the last part.
A suggestion: you have been lucky, but you shouldn't idealize her just only because you know that most women would look down your sexuality. That's the pitfall, the trap, for every sexual minority with a little pool of potential partners: when we find an apparently good partner, then we immediatly think how much lucky we had been finding such person, and by doing so we're at risk to not considering eventual other defects and downsides in such person.
I'm quite the opposite of your mother: I have problems understanding how a person can be purely heterosexual or purely homosexual, it seems to me, in both cases, more a culturally enforced condition than a natural condition - I can understand pansexuality, though it's not my thing, not so much pure heterosexuality or pure homosexuality.

[May Mays]

There's nothing anybody can do about someone's poor self-esteem. My point is not that you literally need to tell yourself not to be a pussy, but that the only way you will ever overcome your anxiety is by "sucking it up".

Again, that's not how it works. "Sucking it up" is exactly the same thing as "faking it". It is an utterly stupid thing to suggest to people.

Nobody can fix it for you.

So all those people with social anxiety who went to therapy and got the tools to manage their anxiety better don't know what they're talking about, right? But someone on the internet who likely has no anxiety issues when it comes to interacting with people does?

Those are just tools for you to overcome your anxiety.

Without any actual effort on the part of the participant, nothing will happen.

[Costa Fierro]

If you can't even talk to people for whatever reasons, I would suggest you start on trying to be more social, or to at least talk to people in a social setting -- from a classroom to a party, doesn't matter.

You can't hope to run before you know how to crawl.

I'm not talking about myself here.

[Costa Fierro]

Those are just tools for you to overcome your anxiety.

They're really not. Do you actually know how social anxiety affects people?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

If you can't even talk to people for whatever reasons, I would suggest you start on trying to be more social, or to at least talk to people in a social setting -- from a classroom to a party, doesn't matter.

You can't hope to run before you know how to crawl.

I'm not talking about myself here.

Same point applies.

I know you prefer to wallow in how women are all gold-digging sluts anyways, despite people managing to get dates and we're neither rich nor Tom Cruise.

[Chessmistress]

What other reasons?
However I don't enjoy such "plus" since I refuse to date guys, since years, and my partner is a woman.

You shouldn't outright refuse to date any demographic, unless you're not attracted to them.

The personal is political.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Some people truly like to be spoonfed shit about faux relationships.

Pish posh I say, #6, in 10 ways to please your pussy was a real eye opener.

Well, yes, it showed you how to best pet your cat but, what does that has to do with relationships?

[The Blaatschapen]

Penis size talk ends here.

It's not a topic suitable for NSG.

The Blaatschapen - Nationstates Moderator

Didn't we use to have a thread that was entirely about dick size? And didn't it last at least a week?

I have no clue. Do the work, I might reconsider, depending on how said thread was.

EDIT: There can be proper biological debate on things like http://www.answers.com/Q/How_big_is_a_sheep_penis for example, which is more biological rather than sexuality-related (also see: Discovery channel). So context here matters.

[Ethel mermania]

Pish posh I say, #6, in 10 ways to please your pussy was a real eye opener.

Well, yes, it showed you how to best pet your cat but, what does that has to do with relationships?

I date cat people.

[Ethel mermania]

Didn't we use to have a thread that was entirely about dick size? And didn't it last at least a week?

I have no clue. Do the work, I might reconsider, depending on how said thread was.

EDIT: There can be proper biological debate on things like http://www.answers.com/Q/How_big_is_a_sheep_penis for example, which is more biological rather than sexuality-related (also see: Discovery channel). So context here matters.

I am proud of you coming out that way. we are here for you.