Relationship and getting one thread

[G-Tech Corporation]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

It's rough. Honestly, I find a clean break is best. I've stayed friends with most of my exes, slept around with one after we formally stopped dating strangely enough, but those always got a bit odd over time, and I regretted the continued relationships. Time heals all wounds, and whatnot. Losing yourself in something else is pretty effective.

[The East Marches]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

I try not to think so much. Thinking is bad for you. I find something that is so time consuming that I can't think about anything else. It has to be both a time sink and something that keeps me mentally occupied. Thats why I have hobbies.

Time makes things better. There are some wounds which never heal all the way. Whether you can live with that or not is dependent upon you and you alone.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

[Costa Fierro]

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Pfft.

Lifting solves everything.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Exactly.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Exactly.

Like always, when everything else doesn't work, go for the booze, it's always there

[The East Marches]

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Pfft.

Lifting solves everything.

Getting swole is good too. Listen to Kubra brobropopo

[Ethel mermania]

People mentioning moving on after a bad breakup or something similar, yes, that is necessary. Yes, one grieves in a way after the end of a relationship, and allowing ourselves to grieve it is ok. We need to take as much time as we need to mourn it, but you do need to bury the hatchet and turn the page. In order to get into another relationship and have it be healthy, you have to move on.

I don't k ow about as long as you take, you need to get over it and move forward. You do have some time to wallow. But you have to move on.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

People mentioning moving on after a bad breakup or something similar, yes, that is necessary. Yes, one grieves in a way after the end of a relationship, and allowing ourselves to grieve it is ok. We need to take as much time as we need to mourn it, but you do need to bury the hatchet and turn the page. In order to get into another relationship and have it be healthy, you have to move on.

I don't k ow about as long as you take, you need to get over it and move forward. You do have some time to wallow. But you have to move on.

I think I bungled that post. What I meant was that it is ok to grieve but in order to get into another relationship and have that be healthy (in a manner of speaking), you have to move on. Grieving times vary depending on the person.

[Ethel mermania]

I don't k ow about as long as you take, you need to get over it and move forward. You do have some time to wallow. But you have to move on.

I think I bungled that post. What I meant was that it is ok to grieve but in order to get into another relationship and have that be healthy (in a manner of speaking), you have to move on. Grieving times vary depending on the person.

Agreed.

[Seraven]

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Unfortunately, I tend to overthinking...well, almost everything.

[Ethel mermania]

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Unfortunately, I tend to overthinking...well, almost everything.

try alcohol, and loose women if you can find them

[Kubra]

Easy way: booze.
Not-so easy way: just try not to think about it too much. Look forward. You'll live.

Pfft.

Lifting solves everything.

Well, I didn't want to be the one to say it, but....

[Dread Lady Nathicana]

How many days now, and ... we're still here dealing with one person's issues? Ah, NSG - what a time to be alive.

[May Mays]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

You just need to realize that they are a woman and probably have a dozen numbers on their phone already in mind a couple of hours after you split.

[Meryuma]

Just under two years ago, I befriended a bloke from my school grade. Long story short, we both turned out to be gay, and I thought he was cute. For a few months we talked quite frequently over the iMessage app, and we hung out during lunch at school, and occasionally on weekends. So eventually I worked up the courage to ask him if he had any feelings for me. He said that he used to, but now I was just a friend. Poor me, right?
So, my question is, by waiting too long to make any sort of move, have I fucked up beyond repair?

Ouch, that's a harsh one. I'd like to say that if he's that fickle, he wouldn't have been a very good boyfriend anyways. I mean, your feelings never changed, right? So what that says to me is that you were always more into him than vice versa, and so a relationship would have been imbalanced. I know there's that saying, "tis better to have loved and lost" etc, but maybe you're sparing yourself by having this conversation now instead of being together when he starts randomly not liking you anymore(?).

[Black Mars]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Just believe that everything, in the end, will be fine.

[Appalatchia]

I dunno, why are you?

In particular, if your dating is not in the western sense of the world, there's not much we can help.

NS isn't westerncentric.

It's an English-language website, it's hard for it not to be.

[The Black Forrest]

Getting them to stop is the hard part.

Tell them you talk about politics on an Internet forum.

Ok. I will have to post that on the quote forum

[Costa Fierro]

How many days now, and ... we're still here dealing with one person's issues? Ah, NSG - what a time to be alive.

Who would this person be?

[Grenartia]

How many days now, and ... we're still here dealing with one person's issues? Ah, NSG - what a time to be alive.

Who would this person be?

The fact that you, of all people, are asking, in such an obvious way, is a total dead giveaway that you already know that you're the person being referred to. It reeks of narcissistic self-importance. It is literally more cringe-inducing than when noobs come on NSG and put a self-congratulatory " " at the end of their posts. And you're obviously capable of turning on a computer, so you can't pretend that you don't have the mental capability to put 0+1 together.

[Costa Fierro]

Who would this person be?

The fact that you, of all people, are asking, in such an obvious way, is a total dead giveaway that you already know that you're the person being referred to. It reeks of narcissistic self-importance. It is literally more cringe-inducing than when noobs come on NSG and put a self-congratulatory " " at the end of their posts. And you're obviously capable of turning on a computer, so you can't pretend that you don't have the mental capability to put 0+1 together.

I don't see how it's narcissistic given how I wasn't brought up until you mentioned it in your post. Have you not read the last two or three pages?

[The Greater Aryan Race]

NS isn't westerncentric.

Most of NS are.

Anyway, how do you do when you haven't been able to move on from your past love life?

Read. I always find reading a book to be a good relief. Otherwise, push it out of your mind and try not to dwell on it too much.

[Post War America]

Sorry to take so bloody long to reply to all this stuff. This thread disappeared from my egosearch for a while, as in actually disappeared and not shifted down the page.

Would the smarticle particles of this esteemed web thread have any advice for an Asexual INFP, who's terrible at selling themselves, and who has not been in a relationship ever?

Well if you were actually asexual, there'd be no advice to give, because you wouldn't be sexually interested.

Asexual does not mean I have no interest in people romantically. In fact I think my lack of romantic connection has probably made worse my already extant problems with chronic depression. I just have no interest in intercourse. The problem being that most people are, and some nope away the moment they hear that bit alone, even if they were remotely interested before.

Would the smarticle particles of this esteemed web thread have any advice for an Asexual INFP, who's terrible at selling themselves, and who has not been in a relationship ever?

Addressing the asexuality; most people like sex. The question is how will you cope with such an eventuality. What is your strategy? Can you get it up or give it up if necessary?

What is your objective? Do you want fulfillment or something else?

I have most of my answers... I think, regarding this. I'm a "Gray A", so I am functional (with a little bit of help) in that respect, I simply lack any interest in performing the act. I would be willing to perform to the best of my abilities to please a romantic partner. I would also certainly be fine with an open relationship (though given how post-coital bonding works I would probably want to try to perform myself first). The trouble is selling myself, which has been consistently the problem. I've only brought up my sexuality a couple of times to potential partners, after getting through all the normal bullshit and I'm fairly certain now that it makes the already hard time of selling myself that I have even harder.

Would the smarticle particles of this esteemed web thread have any advice for an Asexual INFP, who's terrible at selling themselves, and who has not been in a relationship ever?

If you're asexual, come to terms with the fact that most potential partners do not view sexuality the same way you do. You're going to have to have a discussion, at some point, about how comfortable you are with sexual intercourse or the various trappings of sexuality. Are you cool with an open relationship? Polyamory? Participating in the use of 'relationship aids'? Are you expecting a partner to abstain entirely whilst with you? If you're asexual, actively participating in a mutual act is likely going to be a problem for you and your partner, and one that you'll have to be ready to negotiate around.

Having considered and answered that question for yourself, there's still the question of getting into a relationship. Someone else can answer that one, I just finished dinner and I ate way too much.

I would repeat myself and point to the above. I am functional and willing to perform if necessary to please a partner. I am also open to an open relationship. I would be even willing to use any aids that weren't some form of medication or drug. I would not force anyone who wasn't also a Gray A, or completely Asexual to abstain, that would extremely cruel. What I'm having trouble with is that being asexual makes it that much harder for me to actually convince someone to become my partner, something which is not helping given my introverted (among many things that make me seem a lot more aloof than I actually am) nature, and increasingly severe confidence issues.

[Post War America]

Asexual doesn't mean aromantic. They may not be interested in the sexual aspect of a relationship but that doesn't mean they don't want to form a deep and intimate connection with someone else.

So any "advice" (and that's generous enough) would be concentrating on the same basic things as others would: looking good, being presentable etc.

I'm getting it out of the way to dispel the disturbingly common "I can't get with a girl so therefore I'm asexual because I'm not getting any".
Just in case.

No that's not it at all. My need for a partner is purely emotional. The not getting with people has made me less of a romantic, but I've never been interested in the intercourse part of the relationship. Tbh the idea of all those bodily fluids actually kinda squicks me out a bit. This was the case when I was at the height of puberty. This was the case even after I tried some form of self inflicted "conversion therapy" to try and make myself normal. This will probably remain the case for the rest of my life. When I lament aloneness, its the emotional disconnection that I be lamenting.