Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Insaanistan]

Mornin’ Myanmar
Never fear
The United States
Is finally here
We’ll kick those Commies
To where? Beijing?
I dunno
US schools
Couldn’t teach me anything
We’ll blow the Myan Cong
To kindgom come
And send them crying to... uh
Hong Kong?
Time to liberate
This jungle land
Look out Commies!
It’s Uncle Sam!

Hehe. Nice.

[Sanghyeok]

If NS existed back in 1930s would it have been against the rules to advocate for assassination of Hitler and other Nazi rulers? Can brutal tyrants who are at least guilty of one genocide be exempt from the rule on death threats?

We don't rule on modern hypotheticals, what makes you think we're going to rule on an impossible historical one?

[Kiu Ghesik]

Nevada has been reclassified to Capitalizm
Political Freedom has fallen to Mediocre
Economy has risen to All-Consuming

[Kannap]

I can't speak to omniscience, but the fact that you're still here talking about this after so many years is clear evidence that God exists and wants us all to suffer.

yet another Xerographica thread trying to explain to us why donating is superior to voting

[Kexholm Karelia]

If anti-vaxxers don't get vaccinated against diseases, they would be more likely to die. Extrapolate this over the years and this would mean anti-vaxxers would dwindle, and eventually die out. What are your thoughts? Am I taking evolution the wrong way? Is my logic sound?

[Sanghyeok]

then old ladies are not visited or fined by the police for offensive facebook posts concerning trans people either...

A new entry alongside the 'atheist professor' memes in the 'fake stories your uncle sends you on facebook with a heavily pixelated cartoon of a crying police officer attached' pantheon.

[Kowani]

What lies behind those heroes and symbols if not a system of values and a set of narratives that tells us what civic virtue looks like? There are lessons built into the myths and stories we share. In fact, even the act of trying to supplant these heroes and symbols suggests a different set of myths and stories relevant to the experiences of those who, in some cases, might see themselves less clearly reflected in the existing pantheons. People, on the whole, need these things as much as we need good instruction. It's why people crave representation and examples of excellence with which they can relate - at least in part.

Granted that a statue of Washington may remain in the town square, how would we fit "representations" of 124 slaves in the square? Also how would we portray them as "examples of excellence"? The field workers laboring mightily with a hoe, scullery maids sculling, and the chief serving maid in her best pinafore?

[A-Series-Of-Tubes]

I'm not sure exactly what a "pinafore" is, but it's suitably archaic! Thanks Kowani!

[Katganistan]

I'm not sure exactly what a "pinafore" is, but it's suitably archaic! Thanks Kowani!

A pinafore is a sleeveless garment, like an apron or dress, that's worn over another garment.

The Dorothy costume is a pinafore.

This is a period pinafore of an Edwardian/Victorian maid.

[Heloin]

I'm not sure exactly what a "pinafore" is, but it's suitably archaic! Thanks Kowani!

She’s a ship that sails the ocean blue with a crew that’s made of sober men and true who are attentive to their duty.

[Tarsonis]

Skipped a word in a sentence, and this comment had me crying.

I really don't care how read it.

grug not care about literary interpretation

[Punished UMN]

I'm not sure exactly what a "pinafore" is, but it's suitably archaic! Thanks Kowani!

It's infernal nonsense which one whistles airs from.

[Window Land]

Admin replying to a request to filter World Assembly Compliance Commission telegraphs.

Your complaint has been processed.

We find that you are owed $0.012 for time lost dealing with Compliance Commission telegrams. We find that processing your complaint cost $0.312. We find that you owe the Compliance Commission $0.300 in compliance commission complaint compliance commission. Please file the appropriate paperwork for payment with payment paperwork attached at your earliest convenience.

Failure to comply with compliance commission complaint compliance commissions may lead to consequences, including but not limited to further compliance commission complaint compliance commission compliance paperwork.

[Tinhampton]

Joe Biden secures 200 million more vaccine doses

Fuck sake, Joe, you only need two. Save some for the rest of us.

[Borderlands of Rojava]

Fuck sake, Joe, you only need two. Save some for the rest of us.

I knew this quote would end up here.

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Fuck sake, Joe, you only need two. Save some for the rest of us.

[Insaanistan]

Fuck sake, Joe, you only need two. Save some for the rest of us.

[Voxija]

This is glorious.

The Agency has declared you cringe and unbased. Please stand still and ignore the laser targeting dot.

---

---

FROM THE DESK OF THE CHAIRWOMAN

---

The Committee for Naval Affairs has, upon consultation and the completion and certification of a six-month study on the matter, officially declared your post to be cringe. We have consulted with economic planning committees and deemed the following responses to be feasible, to be conducted at all due pace:

• Your personnel file shall be revised to include the phrase "this absolute virgin is neolib cringe lol".
• We shall unsubscribe, downvote, report, and otherwise interrupt everything you have ever made before removing our own social media presences completely, how could you?
• We shall tag your home with the words "get fucked, nerd" in naval standard labelling stencil type 3, paint consistency grade B black ink.
• A rapid-response task force will be dispatched to remove the post, your computer, you, your city block, and your entire county from existence shortly.
• We shall tape a piece of 9x11 printer paper with the following image printed on it in colored ink to your empty grave, declaring this moment to forever be a "funny, based, and wholesome chungus colonial bureaucracy moment":

We thank you for your cooperation with the Interim Military Government's decision-making process.

For a stable and secure future.

---

Signed-

Adm. Tanya Kovalova, Chairwoman, CFNA, CFSS, CFD
(APPROVED for public dissemination)

---

[Kowani]

VAN DER WHATSIT: You gotta keep focused on the issue before you!
ALSO VAN DER WHATSIT: LOOK OVER THERE! KAMALA HARRIS!!!!

[Galloism]

Reddit, Robinhood and Citadel CEOs to testify at GameStop hearing next week

Vlad Tenev, Robinhood CEO
Steve Huffman, Reddit CEO
Ken Griffin, Citadel CEO (and owner of Citadel Securities, the market-maker that operates separately from the hedge fund)
Gabe Plotkin, Melvin Capital Management CEO
Keith Gill (u/DeepFuckingValue)

In the 34th century, archaeologists working on translating the records of the newly discovered Library of Congress-- where the great American Empire stored the greatest accumulation of knowledge ever created, intent on preserving it for all time-- stumble across a puzzling new set of glyphs, appearing in some of the only surviving records of government hearings from the early 21st century. The subsequent "u/DeepFuckingValue" debate bitterly divides academia, and...

[Brettenwald]

Oh the edge, the anger, it hurts so much.... I think I am going to cry... or write a poem

Much edge, great wind,
Yet such absolute nothingness.
No substance, no thought,
Welcome to NSG.

[Rusozak]

This made me laugh.

(Image)

Gawd, shut up you Dollar Tree Maduro.

[Western Fardelshufflestein]

Now, I'm not French, so I don't claim to have a native's insight on their social and societal issues and the academics' take on them, but I can attest to a similar - and similarly nonsensical - trend in Germany.
Debates on the nature and dynamics of racism have started to use a vocabulary that has more often than not been airlifted directly from the American discourse - including the dichotomy of the exclusively and all-encompassing Whites on the one hand and the always-discriminated against BIPOC* on the other, with little adjustment into the German societal context. Something you increasingly notice these days is that activist-journalists have started to add a polit-speak glossary to their articles to give their poor readers a chance to understand what they are even talking about - not exactly a sign that it's an organically developed debate that is taking place here. It's probably also not a coincidence that less and less people are reading and are feeling represented by mainstream media.

*the irony of using the US term "indigenous" when referring to a, at best, tiny number of immigrants of Native American background as opposed to, you know, the actual indigenous population of the place, is usually lost on the author.

I find this trend both annoying and disturbing for a variety of reasons, namely:

1.) The often repeated claim that the concept of a "colorblind society" is a false narrative that only serves to mask social prejudices is one thing; however, no evidence of any kind is offered that the woke Left's counter-approach of errecting more and more tribal markers in language, behavior and who you are to socialize with/listen to etc will lead to a better and juster society instead of deepening the differences between these alleged tribal groups. The US sure as hell aren't an example.

2.) The introduction of US-style ad hominem puritanism into debate culture. I don't disagree with you by analyzing the fallacies of your argument but by marking you as someone who has been born into - alleged - privilege and are therefore inherently immoral and only worthy of being shunned.

3.) The audacity with which some people of one ethnic minority appropriate the vocabulary and self-image of another ethnic minority with a completely different history. Some Turkish German journalists - who have roots in a nation with a long and often uncritically embraced history of empire, colonialism, authoritarianism, racism and genocide - try to claim the label of "POC" to forge a - completely artificial - common "we" with African Americans and other historically wronged ethnic groups, thus very intellectually conveniently switching places from the role of historical opressor to historical victim.

4.) The ongoing (self-)destruction of traditional Social Democracy which decided that their own voter base, yesterday's exploited working-class, have become today's over-privileged white cishet males or whatever, then stares in puzzled disbelief everytime it hits new lows in voter support.

5.) Most despicably of all, the silent erasure of remembering and understanding Germany's own historically developed brand of racism. In all the articles I've read written from the perspective of this new, US-style "anti"-racism, the Holocaust usually just gets namedropped with no further elaboration on how things got that far and what to do to prevent similar developments again, while the genocides in Poland, Ukraine and Russia might just as well not have happened at all - after all these are peoples that are filed under the "white" label, which makes them privileged, no further analysis needed.

If the situation in France is any similar to the above, I can sympathize.

[Diarcesia]

I wish I have an aasimar as an enemy.

Granted.

When playing poker, you notice that one card that was dealt to you is not a regular playing card, but a card that you pick up upside down, that obviously does not belong in a regular deck: it contains the image of a Flame. As becomes clear when, almost immediately, it burns up in a bright flash, while a name burns itself into your mind: "Factol Sarin".

"Odd", you muse for a moment, "wasn't that guy a human?". Then loud banging on the door startles you out of your thought. "Open the door, in the name of the Harmonium!", bellows an impressive, almost opera-like baritone of a voice, "Depravity and sin is afoot here, and It! Will! End! NOW!"

You jump up, and start running away, but get a quick glance at the door as it bursts out of its hinges and reveals a golden-skinned, figure with white hair and white glowing eyes, flanked by two creatures that look like mechanical centaurs with golden wings, equiped with spiked chains. And you know exactly who they are after...

[Tinhampton]

Hello, I obtained the password to the Embassy through a months long process where I...

Founded Traveling Wilburys as Nelson Wilbury, then sent out over 24000 embassy requests with a friend.

Exchanged methods with Ambassadors Reception.

Started doing a song of the day to keep the persona alive.

Then got the password after offering to help maintain the Embassy.

Oh boy am I now doing maintenance work!