Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Tinhampton]

I KNOW, RIGHT?

How do you pronounce ABCD?

Ay-bee-cee-dee... [not] "ab-si-de"

IA believes his own name is pronounced EE-AH

I'd pronounce ABCD as "aa bee see dee"...And "Araraukar" is pronounced "AH-rah-rah-oo-kar"...

Ai-ah. Abciddy.

No no, ABCD is pronounced Ab Kid

I don't say this lightly, but I believe this may be the most pointless debate in World Assembly history.

Congratulations?

[Ethel mermania]

I thought this was well played for a rabbit

I got a lot of non pg-13 answers for that one.

And I have a lot of non pg-13 responses to any of them. Let’s just pretend we had a whole funny rule breaking conversation and skip to the end.

And I said, the Aristocrats!

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, in the Coronavirus Megathread...

literally all we need to do is find coronavirus's racist tweets from 2009 and then we can stop it once and for all

It was crowded but not hideously so. There was one line, very orderly, to the registers and once there, people decided which line to go to. It was like a well-behaved, slow-motion food riot.

I remember one black Friday lining up at best buy at 6 am, there was a line and everyone was nauseatingly polite to each other, bringing coffee, holding place for folks to go to the bathroom, disgusting.

The fuck is crab juice?

Dunno, those were the only two English words on the can.

[Tinhampton]

Imperium Anglorum is the author of a General Assembly proposal draft entitled "Free identity documents." Responding to claims that it contradicts one of his passed resolutions, "Reducing Statelessness:"

§ (1) (a) is illegal on the civil premise of the Standardised Passport Act, § 1, which mandates an obligatory issuing of passports to all those in a national citizenry. No government in accordance with international law, therefore, may consider this to change anything. § 1 (b)and § 1 (c) are already covered under the Reducing Statelessness Resolution, so these aren't any less defunct at their present state.

§ 2 could not legally come into effect according to the Standardised Passport Act, § 1. This is due to it being a necessary government obligation.

§ 3 is basically identical to § 7 of the Standardised Passport Act.

But alas, the stateless are not covered by #76! Well, if you haven't yet chosen to read the links above and find out more about the laws you never knew your nation followed: § 4 violates the intention of the Global Emigration, Security, Travel And Passport Organisation as expanded within the Reducing Statelessness Resolution. As a result of this great bureaucratic pothole, the newly-proposed directorate wouldn't have a job.

§ 5 is duplicate of the Reducing Statelessness Resolution, § 3 and § 4. These same clauses make § 6 a fundamental duplicate as well (just a different "programme" at play).

For § 7, Standardised Passport Act.

At a broad level I agree with NNU. On 'Reducing Statelessness' specifically, I'll have to discuss that with the resolution's author.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Ah, Best Korea. The land of palmetto haired leaders, Juche hardons and unicorns.

They don't just have Juche hardons, Nana.

They invented Juche, they are Juche, no one Juches as hard as they Juche and if anyone tries then they'll just Juche harder god damnit!

[Nakena]

For you, the day people price gouged survival necessities was the most important day of your life.

For diabetics and allergy sufferers, it was Tuesday.

[Gormwood]

He read Masque of the Read Death and knew better than try to hide from it.

The coronavirus had long devastated the country. But Prince Albert was happy and dauntless and sagacious. When his dominions were half depopulated, he summoned to his presence a thousand hale and light-hearted friends from among the knights and dames of his court, and with these retired to the deep seclusion of one of his crenellated abbeys. This was an extensive and magnificent structure, the creation of the prince's own eccentric yet august taste. A strong and lofty wall girdled it in. This wall had gates of iron. The courtiers, having entered, brought furnaces and massy hammers and welded the bolts.

....

It was then, however, that Prince Albert, maddened with rage and the shame of his own momentary cowardice, rushed hurriedly through the six chambers, while none followed him on account of a deadly terror that had seized upon all. He bore aloft a drawn dagger, and had approached, in rapid impetuosity, to within three or four feet of the retreating figure, when the latter, having attained the extremity of the velvet apartment, turned suddenly and confronted his pursuer. There was a sharp cry - and the dagger dropped gleaming upon the sable carpet, upon which most instantly afterward, fell prostrate in death Prince Albert.

Then summoning the wild courage of despair, a throng of the revellers at once threw themselves into the black apartment, and seizing the mummer whose tall figure stood erect and motionless within the shadow of the ebony clock, gasped in unutterable horror at finding the grave cerements and corpse-like mask, which they handled with so violent a rudeness, untenanted by any tangible form.

And now was acknowledged the presence of the coronavirus. He had come like a thief in the night. And one by one dropped the revellers in the blood-bedewed halls of their revel, and died each in the despairing posture of his fall. And the life of the ebony clock went out with that of the last of the gay. And the flames of the tripods expired.

And Darkness and Decay and the coronavirus held illimitable dominion over all.

[Tarsonis]

Both of these are great

Heaven must be full of toilet rolls at the minute, as the Rapture seems to be affecting those the most...

Let he who is without quilt cast the first roll.

[Samudera Darussalam]

"Well, Xi Jinping sorta just forgot to wash his hands after he cleaned the crap that consistently streams out of his mouth, then nobody could watch sports for three months."

I believe it was specifically Xi Jinping's frequent and ravenous desire to fellate pangolins, as well as his out of control bat scat fetish, and refusal to bathe after these activities that created the Wuhan Coronavirus.

[Tinhampton]

Valrifell wrote:
Coronavirus is the most popular go-to and COVID is the official name, getting pissy for blame is the weird take, here.

The WHO took too long to come up with a name for it, as by the time they did come up with a name the "Coronavirus" thing had firmly stuck.

What do pete Townshend and roger daltrey know about naming diseases, of course it took them a while.

Young people have no patience these days.

---

In light of coronavirus-inspired bog-roll shortages...

The Daily Star headline "Bojo the bog roll bandit" made me laugh. Apparently he had a whole lorry load of luxury toilet paper delivered to 10 Downing Street.

Basic needs and such.

[Nakena]

I have to agree. In this extraordinary situation, economic slump, even to the point of a depression, is preferable to leaving things as they are and unnecessarily killing millions worldwide.

And ultimately, if we do what we're supposed to, we'll come out fine. Help your neighbor. Be mindful of people going hungry. Take care of the people in your home. When we show charity for our fellow man, we can do wonders.

[Ethel mermania]

Kat sings.

Ooh my little sniffley one, sniffley one.
When you gonna give me sick time, Corona?
Ooh you make my bowels run, my bowels run.
Running for the toilet oh my Corona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such dirty hands.
Always lather up, do not touch your
face or any one.
My my my i yi woo.
M M M My Corona

Go a little further off, I don't like your cough.
Far enough away would be miles, Corona.
Keeping germ free's what gets to me
That would make me full of some smiles, Corona
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such dirty hands.
Always lather up, do not touch your
face or any one.
My my my i yi woo.
M M M My Corona
M M M My Corona

Please don't give it to me, give it to me.
Is it just a matter of time, Corona?
Is it just destiny, destiny?
Or is getting too close a crime, Corona?
Never gonna stop, give it up.
Such dirty hands.
Always lather up, do not touch your
face or any one.
My my my i yi woo.
M M M My Corona
M M M My Corona
M M M My Corona
M M M My Corona

Oooooo oh My Corona
Oooooo oh My Corona
Oooooo oh My Corona

[Tinhampton]

XD

Funny thing is, they are forecasting it all the time in 2018 and 2019, ironically extending it. I'd start worrying when they say that there's no brakes in the bull market, because that's when things tend to go bad.

This is not at all rigorous or scientific and should not be taken seriously, but...the Supercar index doesn't look good.

This is based on a weird set of circumstances that if examined closely will likely have tons of holes. In the late 80s and early nineties, right before the downturn that ousted Bush the Senior, Ferrari and Porsche entered into a super car war. Then a recession hit. At the end of the nineties fueled by the McLaren F1 there was another rash of super cars from Porsche, Jaguar, Mercedes, even Toyota. Then a recession hit.

Right before 2008, another surge of super cars. Another crash.

Now, there are more options for someone looking to spend seven figures on a car that can't reach their top speed on any road or track available than there are cars under $20,000. Koenigsegg has a 330mph car, there are three...three million dollar barchettas to choose from. That's a car that cost over a million dollars that doesn't have a roof. If the supercar index was a real thing and not something I shoehorned into be a thing, it would indicated a huge crash ahead.

Since the first one I 'predicted' the next two by saying 'welp, there are too many super cars. Time for a downturn.'

Mostly I just think there are too many dumb super cars. Whether or not they predict the economy...well, they probably don't.

But if we're throwing predictions around...

[Kowani]

Oh, Xero. Right now, you and your terrible, terrible philosophy was just what I needed to smile.

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, in the (second) Coronavirus Megathread...

Those guys could chase a gazelle until it died of exhaustion, I'm not sure many of us could do that these days.

I could do that if I named my gun exhaustion.

Yeah but did you advocate for the complete destruction of the Chinese Communist Party before it was cool?

If you haven't been advocating for the fall of Communist China since 1933 you're a poser.

Why do you hate fun so much?

When the fun spreads a pandemic and kills people, it's pretty reasonable to disapprove of it.

[Liriena]

As an amateur theatre nerd, I have a moral obligation to post this one.

Do you think Broadway would be doing any better if all their audiences, cast, and crew all got sick and loads of them died?

isn't that just Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark?

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, in Coronavirus Megathread II...

The world is clearly ending and I saw evidence of that today.

Gold digger started playing over the intercom at panera bread, and it was totally uncensored. Let that sink in.

I went to target the other day, There was not a bar of ounce of soap or sheet of toilet paper to be had, however the toothpaste section was packed

dude, not a single person knows how to doomsday shop anymore. it's like, they expect to be glued for to the toilet 24/7, but pads? tampons? razors? toothpaste? shampoo? diapers? nope. all other basic hygiene goes out the window.

The world is also very different from 1918

Yeah we're much closer to 1928.

---

Bombadil and friends, also on Cvirus:

Ah 2020, when your leader calls a pandemic a hoax and so your drug traffickers have to take over..

A video apparently recorded in the City of God circulated on social media this week showing a loudspeaker broadcasting the alert: “Anyone found messing or walking around outside will be punished.”

“The traffickers are doing this because the government is absent. The authorities are blind to us,” one resident told the Guardian.

A report in the Rio newspaper Extra said gang members with loudhailers were moving around City of God telling its 40,000 residents: “We are imposing a curfew because nobody is taking [coronavirus] seriously. It’s best to stay at home and chill. The message has been given.”

City of God’s gangsters are not the only outlaws attacking coronavirus in Rio’s densely populated favelas, which are home to about 2 of the city’s 7 million residents.

In the Morro dos Prazeres, gang members have told residents only circulate in groups of two while in Rocinha, one of Latin America’s biggest favelas, traffickers have also decreed a curfew.

“The gangsters have said that after 8.30pm everybody must stay indoors and if they don’t there will be reprisals,” said a street hawker who lives there. “I’m staying at home – filled with fear and smothered in hand sanitizer,” the man joked.

Ah 2020, when your leader calls a pandemic a hoax and so your drug traffickers have to take over..

[SNIP]

Suddenly, a brave vigilante announces that he'll start apraying gang members with Corona, and crime dwindles radically.

You are correct in that this has far less roving leather-clad motorcycle gangs and zombies than I was expecting.

Well it's why they didn't make a prequel to the Mad Max movies, the initial stage of sitting around in pyjamas, drinking and running out of rice just didn't cut it as a movie.

---

A warning from Ebol---erm, I mean USS Monitor's puppet:

You must be so jealous of this whole corona guy stealing your spotlight

Nah, coronavirus is a skank. No class.

[Yohannes]

---

Thank you 95X.

In the latest World Assembly Security Council Resolution At Vote thread.

As the sun sets on another vote, let's remember everything is relative. Accomplishments that warranted recognition years ago might no longer merit such today. Doesn't necessarily mean it's a slight against the recipient, just that it's no longer merit-worthy. One could consider the mere bringing something up for a vote an accomplishment in itself.

Take sporting competitions as another example; every so often a participant will be described as "deserving to win" a trophy yet comes up empty-handed. Or a political candidate described as "deserving of the position" yet loses the election. It's not personal, it might not even reflect the validity of their accomplishments leading up to the result.

[Tinhampton]

From the debate thread for a General Assembly resolution entitled "Enabling the Disabled in Academia" (especially regarding its cost to nations), July 2017:

Secondly, in addressing the economic impact, these leaders fail to understand that these people have already suffered the economic impact of previous negligence of their socioeconomic condition. Generations of these peoples have been thrown to the side and to rally behind the cost making accommodation a reality for them is egregious. Every time we tax our citizens to build roads, to strengthen our armies, to build schools, or expand to the stars there is a cost. There is also a cost of neglecting the citizens this resolution seeks to enfranchise, and these people have already paid far to high a price! To further note, the WA is an international organization built upon the premise of unifying nations against issues that afflict our respective nations and if we are truly the capable and able organization we make ourselves out to be, we are More than capable of assisting one another in this matter.

Mortimer Wellesley facepalms, and then, notes sarcastically, 'I am going to build a fifty trillion New Sterling road between Norwich and Wroxham. There is a cost! And there must be a road! It does not matter the price! Damn the fact that we can build the same road with just thousands of New Sterling, we are going to build a 100-lane quintuple carriageway to host five million cars an hour the 12 kilometres to the River Bure! We are capable of doing it! Let us waste the money!'

Also, the Virus President discussion on this page of the Coronavirus Thread.

[Greater Miami Shores]

A Republican American friend of mine's favorite saying is, I ain't never lied, lol what a lie.

[The New California Republic]

A Republican American friend of mine's favorite saying is, I ain't never lied, lol what a lie.

Um, that isn't what this thread is for. Unless your friend is on NS and said that on the forums then what your friend says is entirely irrelevant.

[Greater Miami Shores]

A Republican American friend of mine's favorite saying is, I ain't never lied, lol what a lie.

Um, that isn't what this thread is for. Unless your friend is on NS and said that on the forums then what your friend says is entirely irrelevant.

Yeah sorry it was an honest mistake, I missed the NS Part. But it is a very funny quote, I even used it on one of my RP Posts a long time ago from one my nations.

[Tinhampton]

Order Me Progresso wrote:
An other raiding region didn’t answer my question: Can I have a free region please?

Yes. Go here: https://www.nationstates.net/page=change_region

Hit the button to create a new region.

Boom. Free region.

What if I want a premium region? What can I get for $5?

[Valrifell]

From the Coronavirus thread:

No im pretty sure it’s nukes for April or maybe that was nukes for November

I think we need to get back to our roots, really down to brass tacks and blame the Jews despite overwhelming evidence to the contrary.

[Tinhampton]

Literally McMasterdonia's entire "Continuity with Change" election campaign - awesome and funny

Also, in the midst of something more serious...

Loben The 2nd wrote:
Get a fucking hobby.

Hobby Lobby is shut. Where else can he buy a hobby?

The internet.