Awesome/Funny NS Quotes (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Luziyca]

Maybe the game saw what I made for lunch (Woolly Mammoth meat and Judean date palm fruit) and decided I didn't buy that at the grocery store in this millenium?

On why a new account founded last month has the (Ancient) tag.

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, on NationCards...

On the one hand, seems like a waste of good coding not to make something that people are enjoying into a permanent feature.

On the other hand, it's having a lot of negative effects on the game, like RMBs being full of trade deals, and certain regions becoming flooded by card hunters.

On the other other hand, I quite like being legendary, and am enjoying my new flag.

On the other other other hand, I think someone is stood behind me with their arms under my armpits, as I am pretty sure I can count 20 fingers here.

[Auze]

I feel like this thread is the discussion equivalent of an RP where everyone is just teleporting behind each other with katanas.

[Xmara]

I feel like this thread is the discussion equivalent of an RP where everyone is just teleporting behind each other with katanas.

That is the best description of anything that I have ever read

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Be off by a day in 6 years of perfect deadlines and get massively punished.

What the fuck CA!

> Be CA employee
> Be employee of the month for six years
> Finish a long day of being sexually groomed and flirted with by my bitch of a boss
> Finish up my forty minute video with required three midroll ads
> Sigh in relief, before turning to my idol of Doug Walker to worship
> Pray to Doug to bring in the ad shekels for Mama
> My eyes begin to droop, tired after a long day of exploitation
> Fall asleep
> Wake up
> 7am
> Fuck, forgot to upload last night
> Go to upload youtube video
> See a notification on Skype
> It's Mike
> "Your fired"
> ???
> profit

[Genivaria]

Me: "Oh hi Mark."
Karl Marx: "Get out of my fucking shower!"
Me: "Oh hi Marx."

"I did not starve Kulak, it's not true, it's bullshit, I did not starve them, I did naaawt! Oh, hi, Marx!"
"Oh hi Stalin, what's up?"
"I have a problem with Kulak. They says that I starve them."
"What? Well did you?"
" No, it’s not true! Don’t even ask! What’s new with you?"
"Well I’m just sitting up here thinking, you know? I got a question for you."
"Yeah?"
"You think Communists like to cheat like Capitalists do?"
"What makes you say that?"
"I dunno, man, just thinking."
"I don't have to worry about that, because The Party is loyal to me."
"Yeah man, you never know. People are very strange these days. I used to know a girl, she had a dozen ideologies. One of them found out about it, beat her up so bad she ended up in a hospital on Red Square."
"A-ha-ha-ha! What a story, Marx!"

[Liriena]

Are you a post-structuralist?

Both post-structuralism and the individual subject are mere artifices, crafted by the predominant narrative frameworks of late-stage capitali-

Shit, my pipe set fire to the shelf of challenging reading material I've bought but never looked at. Someone hail the fire extinguishing ideological state apparatus!

[Tinhampton]

Hot pink sounds fabulous!

Nah, normal pink is #FABulous. Hot pink is just a #FAD.

[Tinhampton]

Sheep is symbolic of Jesus Christ. Smell means "scent", so scent of Jesus Christ is the answer.

I used to be the Lamb of Mod.

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, shortly after Syl from GP confused RL and NS Francoism...

I say charge the jaws of death, and storm the mouth of hell!


wait, the light brigade got hammered by invaders. nvm

For further context, refer to The Charge of The Light Brigade by Tennyson.

[Farnhamia]

Meanwhile, shortly after Syl from GP confused RL and NS Francoism...

I say charge the jaws of death, and storm the mouth of hell!


wait, the light brigade got hammered by invaders. nvm

For further context, refer to The Charge of The Light Brigade by Tennyson.

Except the Light Brigade didn't get hammered by invaders. They were the invaders, of Russia in the Crimean War.

[Fartsniffage]

Meanwhile, shortly after Syl from GP confused RL and NS Francoism...

For further context, refer to The Charge of The Light Brigade by Tennyson.

Except the Light Brigade didn't get hammered by invaders. They were the invaders, of Russia in the Crimean War.

Russophile revisionist history! Stop provoking us!

[The Rich Port]

Scientology, blech

Fucking Couchhoppers.

Best slur.

10/10. Would be prejudiced again.

Also, I'm so happy everyone liked some of my posts. Glad they made you laugh.

[Tinhampton]

Can wars be fought differently besides the normal R/D or Roleplay? I have heard it is possible.

cleans his throat and starts to speak in the most magnificent german accent

Zat is a really good question. However, bevor I begin to explain, I want to take zom time to address a rumor floating around ze game. Zom of you have come to believe zat I like war. I wish to dash zese rumors, I do not like war.

I love war.

Zrough my time on NationStates I have discovered zo many forms of war!

You get up in ze morning, you start to check your GCR und you see zat a notable UCR, which consists of members zat work half as hard as you do, miraculously took over your GCR. Ze Userites then start to eject the natives and exploit the fruits of Feederite labor: Class War.

So you make it to the Rejected Realms, since you obviously got ejected - And you find out that ze Delegate in the Rejected Realms cannot eject you at all! Since you are already pretty frustrated und you just happen to take a puff of your one-hitter after a long and exhausting discussion with your cruel NPO overlord, your intoxicated mind comes up with the idea of a New Rejected Order. Then you prozeed to endotart till kingdom comes, accompanied by the whine of the rejects zat you're actually trying to coup their region: Tartwar

But zen, you realize that you're entirely lacking a banject button yourself in the Rejected Realms und all you can do is to suppress the messages of ze rejects. But zhose natives turn out to be resilient and drown the RMB with recurring messages to stop your tyranny und you actually find yourself in a hard spot to keep the messages supressed. Over and over and over again: Spam War

Even more frustrated, you try to enter the NSGP forums and explain your situation, but zen all of your fellow co-nations start to arguing about whatz right und whatz wrong by simultaneously trying to make each other look bad and/or to trigger a massive emotional reaction from posters: Baitwar

Actually, somebody pulls a threadjack argument that Kaiserreich is not a fascist region, which leads to Kaiserreich natives appearing and calling out ze NationStates forum population to be leftist degenerates: Flamewar

Ze more rule abiding nations of NationStates then post these flames into moderation which leads to a massive amount of redposts - and perhaps even some temporary bans for ze flamers, while ze other side tries to report ze bait: Modwar

You have enough of that topic and see what other content the gameplay forums have to offer. You stumble upon the ramblings of nations zat made moving from region A to region B their main purpose in zis game, some of them to take over entirely irrelevant UCRs and others that have dedicated themselves to the pointless task of just preventing zat: R/D war

Finally you get back to your own RMB und you decide to relax by posting to your fellow nations. But all you can see are two nations that textwall each other with official notifications from their fictional government members on how about they promise each other nuclear eradication: RP war

giggles maliciously

What I am telling you, my dear NationStates community, is that I am a purveyor of war.
And with your help over ze years, ve are now at the precipice of our true goal.
You see, I vant a simple war.

No Class War, no Tart War, no Spam War, no Baitwar, no Flame War, no R/D War, und certainly, no Mod War!
Vhat I vant is a war zhat only, I and my fellow countrymen can bring.
A true war!
A German war!
The sequel y'all ve been... oh..

Ehh... I got carried away. Apologies.
Zat should explain most of the forms of war in NationStates.

[Pax Nerdvana]

Satire from the Gun Talk thread:

I think the correct term of an AR15 is an "Evil Gun of Satan that will murder all the children by shooting explosive bullets at 69 trillion rounds per second while firing gernade." -CNN

I acquired my AR-15 on a stone alter in the middle of the woods at midnight on a moonless night. I cut the throat of a goat and drank it's blood, chanting the names of demons and burning incense. Suddenly, there was a flare of unholy light as my Colt LE 6920 appeared amidst a choir of tormented souls screaming for the blood of innocents. I picked up my new rifle and knew in my heart that it was an affront to God.

[Farnhamia]

Can you show us on the doll where Mr Trump touched you?

Right here, in my faith for my country

[Dylar]

Challenge: Invent politically correct replacement of 'Crusade'.

Charity Drive?

[-United Republic of Freedonia]

Ain't going to call my killer robot fucking Sparky, i going to call it Joe, fuck you OP nah jk no deat plz.

My name's Sparky.. Joe Sparky..

[Farnhamia]

Neither does water and Saturn. It's true, the specific gravity of the planet with the rings is such that it would float.

Saturn would float if the solar system were a bathtub.
It's just the sun's rubber ducky.

[Pax Nerdvana]

Just look at the end of Monitor's post.

I think you need to put more faith in the inter-regional community. A large completely innocent region that hasn't participated in R/D (either voluntarily or forced e.g. being raided) isn't exactly going to get an offensive liberation passed on them. As Stalker said later on in this thread, there have only been two offensive liberation's passed on the two largest Nazi regions. Just because an author is spamming them into the queue, that does not make them pass.

The point of a sandbox game, is that the admin hands us the tools, and we decide how to use them rather than their being a wrong or right way.

We've had this discussion before, and I still think infringing on founder sovereignty is just plain wrong. Raiders are a mischievous bunch, and I'd rather have hardcoded rules to stop them from doing anything that we don't want them doing. Otherwise, some of them will try stuff just to see if they can do it. Expecting raiders not to stir the pot is like putting a bunch of interesting chemicals in a room full of chemists and trusting nobody to mix them.

[Larin]

And I never thought I'd see the day when I'd log in and see the IDT discussing worms in anuses. Good fucking God, y'all.

I had to answer a question about something and then discussion started thanks to me

[Auze]

Use a metal casing with hot pepper filling.

A war crime if used against Swedes, humanitarian aid for Thais.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

How dimensional chess is this?

It is a dimension as vast as space and as timeless as infinity. It is the middle ground between light and shadow, between science and superstition, and it lies between the pit of man's fears and the summit of his knowledge. This is the dimension of imagination. It is an area which we call the Trump Zone.

~BingBingBongBongBingBingBongBong...~

*answers door bells*
This again? I was trying to get some rest. Are you selling something son, or are you just gonna keep staring?

[Xmara]

Pls, TEM, promise me... if I ever do one of those "125636 things you didn't know were problematic about your favorite millennial childhood flicks" things for Buzzfeed, just sell me a good gun and a single bullet.

Dark abandoned room

Liriena: Top 8 Reasons Your Dog is Racist!

East Marches (loading a revolver): I'm so sorry

Liriena: Oooh, I know! Your Avocado Toast is Transphobic!

East Marches: You will thank me in heaven.

*closes eyes* *pulls the trigger*

EDIT: Quote tag fail

[Greater Gilead]

In Optional Government Services thread:

Replacements for identifications and such i'm fine with a charge.

"Here's your passport."
"I lost it."
"Next one is 50 bucks."

"I lost that one, too."
"Fine, that'll be a hundred bucks and my six-year-old is going to draw the picture. Good luck traveling outside the country."