Awesome/Funny NS Quotes II (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Tinhampton]

Well yeah. I believe nukes should be used as a last first-resort mechanism.

FTFY

Nuclear weapons should be your first and last resort. And also all of your other resorts in the middle.

If nukes don't work, that's because you didn't resort to enough nukes. Resort more.

[Eol Sha]

....you're going to play a puzzle game?

Y-Yes...play...a puzzle game...heh...heh...

From the hurricane thread.

[Zanera]

Genivaria wrote:

May have been on the hurricane thread. Either way, you're losin' your turf.

That's it.

It's time for a dancenews-off.

Oh snap!

Put it in a box so I know the picture would work. Link to post still in there.

[Tinhampton]

I am not Koth.

Are you Groot?

[United Republic of Lepala]

Read the quotes in my sig.

[Destructive Government Economic System]

(Image)

Beware, Kimmie really wants to nuke us.

I want to be the very best
Like no one ever was
To nuke them is my quest
and to rule them is my cause!!!
Kim Jong Un!!!

Vault 41 thread.

[Tinhampton]

From "Repeal "World Assembly Headquarters"":

Groot enters the debate hall. "I am Groot?" he asks, looking at the proposal. He shakes his head. "I am Groot," he says, pointing to the "Worried" clause, which, seemingly, does not worry him. "I am Groot," he points out, regarding the "Troubled" clause, and shaking his head. "I am Groot?" he asks about the nonsensical "Distressed" clause, given that the building has already been in existence for years. "I am Groot," he insists, as he tears up a copy of the proposal into very tiny pieces and, after a moment of reflection, pops them in his mouth. "I am Grooph!" he says with his mouth full as he exits.

[Lord Dominator]

Nuclear weapons should be your first and last resort. And also all of your other resorts in the middle.

If nukes don't work, that's because you didn't resort to enough nukes. Resort more.

[Tinhampton]

actually, LD, I got to that quote first, but whatever works out...

(Image)
St. Maarten, because it would be pointless to nuke it.

You may want to reconsider. One of our military commanders has a pathological hatred for yachts, and is preparing a large volley of missiles at all locations with yachts.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

You should be writing horror scripts for Hollywood, Hurde. Seriously.

Reality tends to do better than I possibly could. Take the situation in Texas, for example. The rain just keeps on coming and all those impressive arsenals of ballistic weaponry owned by the citizens can't stop it. No matter how ammosexual you are, the climate fucks harder.

I just can't.

[Tinhampton]

From the Internet Browser Discussion Thread(!) over in A&F:

I use Vivaldi (Chrome fork developed by a bunch of ex-Opera devs), I'd use Firefox but no Google reverse search is a dealbreaker for me. In the past I've used Firefox, Chrome, Seamonkey, and Opera.

I've been sold on Vivaldi. I tried it and it's blazing fast.

There's some truth in contention there. Maybe I should try it for a season or four.

[Tinhampton]

I'd rather listen to BBC than Fox News, at least the former is entertaining and not cringey.

Also, would you rather get your news from the broadcaster which revived the Doctor, or from the broadcaster which killed Firefly?

[Luziyca]

All things considered, it's not a good gig.

Only until the moderator logs read like this:

3 hours ago: Max Barry in nation reploid_productions added new key "supreme_overlord_na" with value "1"
3 hours ago: Reploid Productions added following warning to US Congress: DEAT for trolling/flaming
3 hours ago: Reploid Productions deleted US Congress
3 hours ago: Reploid Productions added following warning to POTUS: DOS for constant trolling/flaming/inappropriate messages/(Twitter)spamming
3 hours ago: Reploid Productions deleted POTUS

...and so on.

[Tinhampton]

Albion kicked over my trashcan earlier and denied doing it. I have complained to the Equality Commission because of this, and will be writing to my MP.

What has been established is that The United Imperial Armed Forces nation belongs to Christopher Bishop, who is the Lord Commander, forum administrator and former King of Albion. Unless he is claiming that he gave the nation away between the end of July this year when I spoke to him about using his founder powers and the recent incident - which would indeed be very strange, when he has kept the nation to himself since March 2015. Furthermore, this nation acted at the same time as the founder nation of "The Congress of Sovereigns", so clearly they are either the same person or know each other and colluded.

I think you'll find Christopher's role in Albion, if you have a gander at his forum profile, is actually "Lord High PebbleBucket".

I don't give a bleeding rat's dump about that. What about my trashcan?

Find this Lord Plebblebuck and tell him to sort my lawn out.

Ya'll have better customer relations than Verizon. Never thought that could be possible.

Will someone please send me a complaint form through the post?

(Image)

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Regarding Northpoint

From the desk of the Vanguard of the Realm of Albion

Let it be known that the Realm of Albion hereby formally apologises to the noble nation of Northpoint, for the grievous crime of committing acts of vandalism against their "trashcan".

Such action was grossly unkind of us, and we will take all appropriate measures to ensure it does not occur again.

We will additionally make every attempt to ensure "Lord Plebblebuck" sorts out your lawn. An untidy lawn is unbecoming and we will do our very best to make sure your lawn is lovely.

Thank you, and goodnight.

(Image)

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Regarding Northpoint

From the desk of the Vanguard of the Realm of Albion

Let it be known that the Realm of Albion hereby formally apologises to the noble nation of Northpoint, for the grievous crime of committing acts of vandalism against their "trashcan".

Such action was grossly unkind of us, and we will take all appropriate measures to ensure it does not occur again.

We will additionally make every attempt to ensure "Lord Plebblebuck" sorts out your lawn. An untidy lawn is unbecoming and we will do our very best to make sure your lawn is lovely.

Thank you, and goodnight.

I... well, thank you sir. That's mighty kind of you and twice as appreciated. I'll be sure to let the Equality Commission and my MP know about your kindness.

--Northpoint I

[Arctica-Aleutia]

"To protect the world from Capitalization"
"To unite the people within our nation"
"To denounce the evils of Europe and Love"
"To extend Communist reach to the stars above "
"Engels"
"Marx"
"Team Commie blasting off at the speed of light"
"Surrender now or prepare to fight"
"Mao that's right!!!!" ---Two African gang members

[Tinhampton]

The Freemasons are real.

In fact, I often drive by one of their lodges.

I know a libertarian named Mason. Would that make him a free Mason?

[Tinhampton]

Why are Stats hated?

Statism, of course...

^_^

[USS Monitor]

I found this amusing.

My heart bleeds.

NSG is not your blog doctor...

[Thermodolia]

I found this amusing.

NSG is not your blog doctor...

And the follow up.

NSG is not your blog doctor...

Obviously not. Doctors aren't supposed to make you go insane.

[Thermodolia]

This was too good to pass up

"Hillary" rhymes with "pillory".

Oh, so you're going to put her in the pillory after you take her down from the cross. Geez, at least Jesus got a nice tomb to sleep in after He was crucified.

[Tinhampton]

Nope. I'm too busy editing issues. (And, you know, doing real life stuff.)

What is this "real life?"

What is this "real life?"

I've heard of that. It seems to be some kind of medical condition that prevents people from playing NationStates.

I've heard of that. It seems to be some kind of medical condition that prevents people from playing NationStates.

You know something. What you know, you can't explain. But you feel it. You've felt it your entire life. That there's something wrong with the world.
You don't know what it is, but it's there...like a splinter in your mind, driving you mad. It is this feeling that has brought you to me. Do you know what I'm talking about? The Real Life is everywhere. It's all around us, even in this very room. You can see it when you look out your window or when you turn on your television. You can feel it when you go to work, when you go to work, when you pay your taxes. The Real Life is the world that has been pulled over your eyes, to blind you from the truth. You are a slave, Trott. Like everyone else, you were born into bondage, born into a prison that you cannot smell or taste or touch. A prison...for your mind....Unfortunately, no one can be told what the Real Life is...you have to see it for yourself.

This is your last chance. After this, there is no turning back...You take the blue pill, the story ends. You wake up and believe...whatever you want to believe. You take the red pill...you stay in wonderland...and I show you just how deep the rabbit hole goes. Remember...all I'm offering you is the truth. Nothing more.

[Risottia]

Context...

Dutch privilege bias, bragging about their dams all the time.

What's wrong with big dykes?

Aaaand punchline.

The arrest reports when you stick your fingers in them. People use to be grateful.... not today.

[Genivaria]

......wat

Somewhere, somehow, a Republican has just started awake in a cold sweat and he doesn't know why.

[Canton Empire]

I thought Lee dissipated...

Wait a minute...Tropical Storm Lee, Hurricane Harvey...what's next? Hurricane Oswald!?

[Reploid Productions]

Wait a minute...Tropical Storm Lee, Hurricane Harvey...what's next? Hurricane Oswald!?

And the punchline:

That's the one that wipes out Kennedy International Airport.