Awesome/Funny NS Quotes II (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Tinhampton]

McMasterdonia, on the region of Right To Life's statement on the Lazarus controversy:

It's only been a few weeks so there is still time for this whole thing to be aborted and avoid disaster. Right to Life should be helping Funkadelia not judging his decisions or mistakes. If he is too young or if his Delegacy is as you suggest illegitimate, he must either abort it or give the Delegacy to a loving home who can give it a normal life.

[The Blaatschapen]

<AirHippo> I have ham in my keyboard
<AirHippo> What is this life
<AirHippo> One moment, dislodging ham
<AirHippo> Mmm keyboard ham

Context? You people want context?

This is how spammy posts are made

[States of Glory]

From the General Assembly:

Fairburn: Are you denying that an ovum is a potential life, Ambassador? Do you support the murder of eggs inside the oviduct?

"Someone is really ovary-acting here."

[Maltropia]

Welcome to Masterion Airlines,an airline ready to bring you anywhere.

can you bring me out of depression

A rather minimalist storefront gets its first customer.

[Tinhampton]

"I don't have any nuclear weapons yet. May I make some so I can eliminate them?"

[Neanderthaland]

...Do I want to know how someone would manage to do the entire football team at one time?...Because this sounds like death.

[Tinhampton]

Looks like we should have gone with the [redacted] update after all.

Please don't call people Zaolats, it's offensive to them and just wrong.

[Empire of Cats]

On why we are so mean to "Fox News", as in actual foxes.

Well done OP.
And I hate foxes because of that STUPID FUCKING SONG.
You all know the one.

This led to some teasing...

What does the fox say?!

That does it! Get my shotgun!

[Tinhampton]

I don't exactly think that the Moderator's capabilities have been reduced, but the numbers of Moderators that usually moderate Gameplay may have.

Additionally, I'm seriously not sure about a possible new wave of moderator recruitment, as the inactive moderators are simply on leave, I believe. If such was to happen, a suitable moderator for GP would most likely not be needed; it'd be much better to have a "Gameplay Advisor" simply to advise the mods when appropriate on rather difficult situations in Gameplay.

Making them a forum mod is simpler than creating a new position.

If we just want general advice rather than trusting someone with authority, we can start a discussion thread on the forums and let everyone share their thoughts.

I don't think we need a big wave of recruitment since the only area where we're having a noticeable problem is GP.

Anyway, I'd like to nominate Onderkelkia. He'll build a wall of text to keep the trolls out. It'll be a yuuuuuuuuge wall, the best wall. And Mexico is gonna pay for it.

[Valentine Z]

Gulag.

Forced to read overwatch fanfiction

Context: How do you think the Above Nation deals with traitors?

Considering the nature of a fanfiction, it's several tortures packed into one.

Why does a chicken coop have only two doors?

Cause if it had four it'd be a chicken sedan.

Context: Your best jokes. There're a lot that made me LOL, but this takes the cake.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

For almost as long as I can remember, a bit after I was 8 years of age; I'd have one or a few people tell me that Hillary Clinton was destined to become our first woman president. Literally every American knew of her name as political royalty. People just assumed that it would eventually happen. It was supposed to be "her turn." But Donald Trump came along and put a stop to that.

Absolutely no one predicted that he'd be the one to slay the Clinton machine permanently and for good. But the mad man did it!

can you masturbate on your own instead of all over the thread

thanks~

[Tinhampton]

Meanwhile, in Curious Observations, 2017's original anonymous-puppet news service:

This is largely already the case. There are raider, defender, independent (and generally friendly to imperialists to varying degrees, as imperialism is a variant of independence), and neutral Feeders and Sinkers. The problem is, and has always been, that defenders want to collect them all.

Pokemon: NationStates

Can we just peacefully partition a number of Feeders and Sinkers for defenders, raiders, imperialists, and independents at this point? I would call it the "Master Plan for the GCRs."

[Tinhampton]

context

"This is sad, it's a disaster. We are not going, we have got to, fire and fury, we're fighting this with fire and fury and a lot worse than that, believe me."

[Greater Cesnica]

And sorry hun, if you were looking for a forum site where nobody argued, you've come to wrong one.

[Iridencia]

Could I get some sources on that please? I'm rather surprised at any 19th century western army being mostly made up of volunteer rather than conscripted soldiers (with the exception of the brits, of course, but their professional army was rather small even so).
The rest is obviously your very unbiased view of history I don't give much shit about. Whether you believe or not that they really were fighting to defend their home is irrelevant because the fact is that they indeed were.

Of the 2,100,000 Union soldiers, about 2% were draftees, and another 6% were substitutes paid by draftees (The Oxford Companion to American Military History
Conscripts accounted for between 1/4 and 1/3 of Confederate soldiers in the final year of the Civil War (Historical Times Encyclopedia of the Civil War).

Defending their homes by sacking federal forts, invading Northern states and trying to seize Washington? Sure, whatever floats your boat man. They were the aggressors in the Civil War, they weren't defending their homes. The only reason their homes were ever in danger is because they launched a violent insurrection.

No one is asking you to respect them. People are merely asking you to not deliberately try and insult them and their memory by destroying monuments in honor of their death. Is the difference really that hard to understand for you? Once more, no one is asking you to venerate anyone. Having basic decency toward the dead in virtue of them being dead isn't that hard of a concept to understand neither.
Also, once more, you keep claiming they "signed up". It seems you fail to understand (yet once more) this little thing called "military service".

You literally just did:

That's just fucking disgusting, have a little bit of respect for the dead, honestly.

Speaking the truth about their memory is apparently "insulting." Really makes you think...

I'm not going to tiptoe around the truth because it's going to hurt some feelings. These men have been dead for over a century. They died in the service of a vainglorious, foolish attempt at insurrection, begun ostensibly to preserve the institution of slavery because the election of a white moderate who only campaigned to respect Northern states' rights and prevent the spread of slavery to new territories, that only succeeded in killing hundreds of thousands of people, bringing ruin on their own homes and ironically, hastened the very thing they were trying to prevent.

Damn them and their memory.

Because a monument to honor the men who died in a war is "public veneration of white supremacy". Fucking listen to yourself and how ludicrously retarded what you spout is, for God's sake!

They died in a war begun to preserve White supremacy and the institution of slavery. This cause should be damned, not venerated, and you cannot apolitically venerate the dead of that cause separate from the cause itself. And that's precisely why all of these monuments were created in the Jim Crow era: as public odes to the "Lost Cause" of the Confederacy and the ideology it stood for.

And I'd call this misplaced petty anger and destruction of civil property/artwork.

Can't be arsed to cry a crocodile tear about it.

[Thyerata]

Frisbeeteria in the Silly GA proposals thread taking things a bit too literally here...

3) Avoid forests in every road.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

You're saying that the 70's was wrong?

Yes

The 70's was wrong about everything.

[Shofercia]

From the Ukraine ("Thanks Obama") thread:

In the course of my life, I've come to the conclusion that the only thing greater than the propensity of our [US] allies to backstab us is the utter stupidity of my government in choosing said allies.

From the Topple Lenin Statute thread:

Seattle Mayor Ed Murray has called for both the monument to Confederate soldiers at Capitol Hill’s Lake View Cemetery and a statue of Vladimir Lenin in Fremont to be taken down, saying they represent “historic injustices” and are symbols of hate, racism and violence.

Vladimir Lenin, noted white supremacist.

The greatest conspiracy of them all.

[Tinhampton]

I think "Mike the Progressive is secretly 10,000 Cats" would be the biggest scandal to rock this site in years.

"[violet] is Hillary Clinton."

"[violet] is Hillary Clinton."

I do NOT work for Hillary Clinton.

I do NOT work for Hillary Clinton.

That's just the denial I'd expect from someone working for Hillary Clinton.

[Tinhampton]

Call me when Sedge is back.

I don't know your phone number

[United Muscovite Nations]

If I had more time, I would screenshot all the posts of you guys' relationship, then post it on the thread as a scrapbook.

Paradox: Bringing people together. Two, specific, weird people. No one else.

On the romance between two people in the Paradox Thread.

[Tinhampton]

Come on Cormac. Join the club.

Agreed. It's a pretty good sandwich.

[Zanera]

Galloism wrote

I drove up to Bourbon Missouri for the eclipse. Got some great shots before and after the totality, but had trouble getting a photo of the totality to turn out decent. Great sight though.

As a consolation prize, how I picture my back yard if I had a billion dollars.

Had to jerry-rig it to get the image to work.

[Lord Dominator]

Mods and editors have a remarkable talent for being biased in both direction at the same time. It's a rare talent that we always seek out when we are looking for new staff.

---

And a different quote:

Because my iPad jackknifed, I made mistake!

Postby Venetoland » Tue Aug 22, 2017 5:19 pm
Is it possible to resend me the graffiti dilemma?

No, they won't resend you an issue.

Also how in the blazes does an iPad jackknife?

[Tinhampton]

From the "*SIRENS* THIS IS NOT A DRILL* thread created to bring on the near-beginning of N-Day²:

OF COURSE IT'S NOT A DRILL, IT'S A SCREWDRIVER!