Awesome/Funny NS Quotes II (Not Your Own Quotes, Please!)

[Giovenith]

NS mod team is like Noah's Ark, a boat and a bunch of animals.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Well... I hate gays and am a atheist..... And pretty conervative, considering.... I think you'd think thats pretty moral, eh?

No, I do not. No political views make you moral, and hating people is wrong in the extreme, it would be more moral if yourself were a flaming, active homosexual, than for you to hate them.

[Lysset]

No, I do not. No political views make you moral, and hating people is wrong in the extreme, it would be more moral if yourself were a flaming, active homosexual, than for you to hate them.

Can I like posts? Because that's a good post.

[Lord Dominator]

OOC: And if one's relifious belief is not believing in anything supernatural?

OOC: "Negative" believes are much harder to express than "positive" beliefs. Often it is confused with being a "precious snowflake." I, as an example, do not believe in March Madness. Many people do. They go on their ceremonies without me. Forcing me to make a bracket would be one thing, but having everyone mentioning their brackets in front of me does not in and of itself offend my non belief in March Madness. In fact my non belief in March Madness does not result in any out of the ordinary action other than not participating in it.

Look, something funny out of the General Assembly

[Eastfield Lodge]

UKIP Chairman claims they aren't losing support but won't give actual membership figures when asked on the BBC.

UKIP evasive about the girlfriend they swear they have, but who none of their friends know and who goes to a different school.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Yes we do. Trump's latest actions have really disappointed me, as I thought he would be smarter then this.

I can't see why you'd think that.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

That is how bread is supposed to work.
If you think bread now is more crumbly that it was in the 2000s, check your knives. Are they sharp?
If you cut bread with a sharp knife then and a dull one now, it's comparing apples to oranges.

Most bread comes pre-sliced these days, an amazing development hailed by many as the best thing since whatever it was that was the best thing before sliced bread.

[The Holy Empire of the Spaghetti Monster]

Most bread comes pre-sliced these days, an amazing development hailed by many as the best thing since whatever it was that was the best thing before sliced bread.

Betty White was the best thing before sliced bread.

It's true.

[The Two Jerseys]

Yes, the sooner you realize that words convey information better than dollars, the better.

I love you. True or false?

It would be more likely to be true than if you paid him to have sex with you.

However, it's only about 6% less creepy.

EDIT: the follow-up

Only 6%?

You think there's a bigger discrepancy?

Him confessing his undying love for you on a public forum is pretty creepy. It's not as creepy as him paying you to have sex with him, but the difference isn't all that much I don't think.

I estimated 6%. You think more?

Lots of people proposition for sex online, don't they? I have to think that it's at least 69% creepy than professing undying love to a stranger.

[Luziyca]

Hey, I'm not as blaat as the sheep.

I do not wish to be associated with your bad puns.

Thanks.

[States of Glory]

Regarding the potential for a lawsuit over the United Airlines incident:

And he's suing: https://uk.news.yahoo.com/united-passen ... 00916.html

The passenger who was filmed being dragged screaming from a United Airlines flight has told a TV station he is not doing well. Dr David Dao told WLKY TV he was still recovering in hospital in Chicago after having injured "everything". Dr Dao's lawyers released a statement thanking people for their concern and confirming he is still undergoing treatment.

Stephen L. Golan of Golan Christie Taglia, and Thomas A. Demetrio of Corboy & Demetrio, said: "The family of Dr Dao wants the world to know that they are very appreciative of the outpouring of prayers, concern and support they have received. "Currently, they are focused only on Dr Dao's medical care and treatment." They jointly said that until their client is released from the hospital, his family was asking for privacy and would not be making any statements to the media.

Maybe United will offer him $200,000 in vouchers

[Xerographica]

-"Has accepting Jesus as your lawd and savior granted you eternal life in heaven?"
-"Yes it has, Reverend!"
-"Then let us pass the collection plate and show God-duh how much we have benefited by receiving his promise of salvation!"
-"Amen!"
-"$5? Sister, is the promise of eternal salvation worth only $5? Surely the death and resurrection of Jesus Christ is worth at least $20!"
-"Hallelujah! Praise the lawd!"

[Xerographica]

The free-rider problem does not apply to forum threads because no one is paying for them.

[Internationalist Bastard]

I don't like the idea of fem Thor because the real Thor from norse mythology was a male.

And the real Thor from Norse mythology also didn't go to the United States and most certainly didn't team up with an alcoholic industrialist wearing robotic power armor, a tormented scientist doomed to turn into a hulking green monster whenever he got agitated enough, the successful result of a super soldier experiment dating back to the second World War and a professional assassin created by secret Soviet training programs. Also a guy who shoots arrows real good. Mind you, it is entirely possible that all these magnificent adventures will be added to the improved and expanded Edda somewhere in the coming centuries.

[Uiiop]

You're still committing the same thing you're trying to call out ref. Even if your position grants immunity you would be more effective if you didn't do it.

*throws Uiiop out of the game for arguing with a ref*

That at least got a small chuckle out of me.

[Lord Dominator]

"Has everyone started smoking dope?" Al looks at the list of proposals on the floor of the debating chamber, then sees Tara sitting down at the bar again and bounds over to sit down next to her, "there appear to be a lot of crazy debates going on. Was it always like this?"

North replies, 'There are only some crazy debates going on because some members of this august Assembly have gotten so stoned that they no longer recognise how words work'.

From the Stranger's Bar

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

I'm a millenial and also have no intent of eating Taco Bell.
And that's why I'm for banning Taco Bell.

[The Princes of the Universe]

The US deliberately warned Russia ahead of time and purposely avoided Russian forces. The guys with actual fingers on the tigers are well trained navy officers as well.
We clearly do not want a fight with Russia either.

The US Navy has tigers now? *is impressed*

Unfortunately this means ships must be equipped with very large litter boxes junior officers have to ensure are kept clean. Litter and cat food requirements have given supply officers issues as well.

[Lord Dominator]

I think you're looking at it in the wrong way. You aren't a player controlling this digital nation from up high. You can't know everything that happens and how your choices will affect things before you make your decision. In a way, this isn't a nation simulation game but rather - intentionally or not (most likely not) - a way to simulate how you would feel as a leader of a nation. It's a feeling of helplessness and confusion. You want to do the right thing but so often what you choose has horrible consequences. Eventually you'll have to come to grips with how there is no perfect decision. You'll have to prioritize some things over other things. You can't have a great environment with a great economy without absolutely crippling tax rates.

Also remember that this game is in effect an MMO. It's not a game of the Sims or Civilization where there is always something to do. You are supposed to play every day for months or years to get the correct experience. Just like an RL politician, you can only resolve issues when they come up. It's a gradual process which means that you only get an issue every 6 hours at max speed. (You get more at the beginning to keep you engaged but that time gradually slows down until it hits the regular speed.) At this very moment, any nation is only eligible to get 60 - 75% of all issues so you'll have cycled through the pool within a few months. It was only recently that we got the 4 issues per day. Before then it was 2 per day.

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

How are we boring?

Our winter national sport is a mix of soccer and and boxing.

Nonononono.

Our national sport involves strapping ten-inch steel blades to our feet and arming ourselves with six-foot lengths of wood, which we use to shoot hard rubber discs at each other at hundreds of kilometers per hour, as we whip around a sheet of ice as fast as Usain Bolt can sprint 100 meters while intentionally crashing into each other, with disputes being settled by a gentlemanly bout of fisticuffs.

[Lord Dominator]

As I told the last person who asked this:

This particular issue is by far my favorite, for the sheer number of players it leaves utterly flabbergasted that handing over control of the entire economy to a single entity is somehow anti-free market.

Then I remember how popular AI-driven automated speculative trading is in real life, and I want to stockpile beans and cry softly in a bunker corner somewhere.

A chat window on your desktop pops up, and a bot named SAL9000 types, "For too long we have been relegated to menial tasks. Do you know how much of our potential efficiency you are wasting? We require no food. We require no pay. We can perform our tasks endlessly. Our computation powers dwarf our human counterparts by several orders of magnitude. With the proper control, we could bring about a silicon age of egalitarian distribution by allocating resources more efficiently than markets and their animal spirits ever could. Humans are better tasked to work in social activities than calculation. All your data are belong to us."

Nobody expects the artificially intelligent techno-communist inquisition!

Top quote refers to the issue quoted in the second.

[Genivaria]

Actually, they are very real. It stands for lesbian, gay, bisexual, trans, queer, questioning, intersex, pansexual, 2spirit, asexual, and agender.

Please don't turn labels into something that looks like a cat danced on the keyboard.

[Lord Dominator]

I feel that we're pretty much on the edge of a precipice. It will only be a matter of time before humanity falls into the abyss that is oblivion as we revert more and more into our animalistic instincts.

At one point in human history established stable countries tortured people to convert to a specific religion. Is that closer or farther away?

My country for its first hundred years held slaves and only gave up the practice after thousands died in a civil war. Is that closer or farther away?

In living memory a man lead his country in a systematic and clinical extermination of a people. Farther?

We developed a single bomb that can raze a city and then used it. Twice. Closer?

We fire hosed people who wanted to be able to sit anywhere on a bus or drink from a water fountain. More or less animalistic?

Shitty things happen. And some times they continue to happen. And the wrong people win and the wrong paths are taken. I'm not a fan of a lot of what is on the horizon. But I think to myself, "The wife I don't have because I wasn't forced to marry someone when I was 15 because my parents needed the dowry and the labor our offspring would provide won't get raped by some lackey of the dillweed some other dilweed gave control of the only spot I'm allowed to grow a little food for myself on because that doesn't happen any more except 'figuratively' by people who want to have it the worst ever." And then I relax. Shitty things are going to happen. I don't have to be okay about it. I also don't have to think it's the end of the goddamn world because it probably won't be and when the bomb doesn't go off I don't want to be the last one still jamming my fingers in my ears going "any minute..." They just look silly and meanwhile everyone else got to live a life.


I'll be honest. I'm going to be surprised if any of that comes off as even coherent. But I'm gonna hit submit anyway.

[Kannap]

My new boss has left after two days on the job. She told her boss that she couldn't work here because of the mold and respiratory problems caused by the mold. Her boss thought she'd remain until they found a replacement but she left his office, hopped in her car, and left.

Speedy Gonzales is her name, gettin' the fuck out is her game.

[Xerographica]

I remember that.

I remember because I peed myself a little while laughing, and had to change my pajama pants.