Official Major League Baseball Thread

[Gim]

Yeah, I can't commend the Washington defense. It's like a sieve.

They got Dim in the infield. Yuck.

They lost to the lowly Marlins, 6-4, on Thursday. Come on, Ichiro and the Marlins.

[Outer Sparta]

They got Dim in the infield. Yuck.

They lost to the lowly Marlins, 6-4, on Thursday. Come on, Ichiro and the Marlins.

I saw a play where Ryan Zimmerman was trying to catch a ball, but missed, and Dim was standing behind him. Even when not involved in plays, Murphy still somehow makes his teammates screw up defensively.

[Gim]

They lost to the lowly Marlins, 6-4, on Thursday. Come on, Ichiro and the Marlins.

I saw a play where Ryan Zimmerman was trying to catch a ball, but missed, and Dim was standing behind him. Even when not involved in plays, Murphy still somehow makes his teammates screw up defensively.

I keep on thinking that Dim has supernatural abilities. Why didn't he use such a supernatural ability to successfully play defense in last year's postseason?
I mean, he was getting paid close to double digits. That is quite high for a player like him.

[Outer Sparta]

I saw a play where Ryan Zimmerman was trying to catch a ball, but missed, and Dim was standing behind him. Even when not involved in plays, Murphy still somehow makes his teammates screw up defensively.

I keep on thinking that Dim has supernatural abilities. Why didn't he use such a supernatural ability to successfully play defense in last year's postseason?
I mean, he was getting paid close to double digits. That is quite high for a player like him.

Because he's incompetent defensively. That's the i part of his name. While Dim affects his defense negatively, Ventura affects the world.

[Gim]

I keep on thinking that Dim has supernatural abilities. Why didn't he use such a supernatural ability to successfully play defense in last year's postseason?
I mean, he was getting paid close to double digits. That is quite high for a player like him.

Because he's incompetent defensively. That's the i part of his name. While Dim affects his defense negatively, Ventura affects the world.

You know when the apocalypse happens? When Washington meets Kansas City, Ventura starts for Kansas City, and Murphy plays for the Nationals, then. We cannot anticipate which team will win, because Ventura will continue to hit the batters, getting them to walk, while Murphy will continue to make or supernaturally cause errors, getting his opponents on bases.

[Outer Sparta]

Because he's incompetent defensively. That's the i part of his name. While Dim affects his defense negatively, Ventura affects the world.

You know when the apocalypse happens? When Washington meets Kansas City, Ventura starts for Kansas City, and Murphy plays for the Nationals, then. We cannot anticipate which team will win, because Ventura will continue to hit the batters, getting them to walk, while Murphy will continue to make or supernaturally cause errors, getting his opponents on bases.

Ventura goes up to bat, hits a very weak grounder of 30 mph, and Dim somehow still botches it and the ball goes through his legs, scoring a Royal and Ventura getting safely to 1B. Then, a giant crack forms in D.C, splitting the city in half.

[Gim]

You know when the apocalypse happens? When Washington meets Kansas City, Ventura starts for Kansas City, and Murphy plays for the Nationals, then. We cannot anticipate which team will win, because Ventura will continue to hit the batters, getting them to walk, while Murphy will continue to make or supernaturally cause errors, getting his opponents on bases.

Ventura goes up to bat, hits a very weak grounder of 30 mph, and Dim somehow still botches it and the ball goes through his legs, scoring a Royal and Ventura getting safely to 1B. Then, a giant crack forms in D.C, splitting the city in half.

So, neither team wins that game, as a result of game delay. If disasters occur every time those two play, then when will the game between the two actually end?

[The Derpy Democratic Republic Of Herp]

Ventura goes up to bat, hits a very weak grounder of 30 mph, and Dim somehow still botches it and the ball goes through his legs, scoring a Royal and Ventura getting safely to 1B. Then, a giant crack forms in D.C, splitting the city in half.

So, neither team wins that game, as a result of game delay. If disasters occur every time those two play, then when will the game between the two actually end?

The universe explodes.

[Outer Sparta]

Ventura goes up to bat, hits a very weak grounder of 30 mph, and Dim somehow still botches it and the ball goes through his legs, scoring a Royal and Ventura getting safely to 1B. Then, a giant crack forms in D.C, splitting the city in half.

So, neither team wins that game, as a result of game delay. If disasters occur every time those two play, then when will the game between the two actually end?

I don't know, but even in nonseismic or volcanic regions, they could still form that to happen. Whoops.

[Gim]

So, neither team wins that game, as a result of game delay. If disasters occur every time those two play, then when will the game between the two actually end?

The universe explodes.

So, the next time the Nationals and the Royals play is when the world ends.

There we go: May 2nd, 2016 8:15 PM ET.

[Outer Sparta]

The universe explodes.

So, the next time the Nationals and the Royals play is when the world ends.

There we go: May 2nd, 2016 8:15 PM ET.

What if they reached the world series? Universe blows up even more.

[Gim]

So, the next time the Nationals and the Royals play is when the world ends.

There we go: May 2nd, 2016 8:15 PM ET.

What if they reached the world series? Universe blows up even more.

Do you think Volquez's father would help from the heavens and stop the world from being destroyed? Volquez will play one of the games, at least.

[Outer Sparta]

What if they reached the world series? Universe blows up even more.

Do you think Volquez's father would help from the heavens and stop the world from being destroyed? Volquez will play one of the games, at least.

All hail Volquez and his dad, saviour of our universe!

[Gim]

Do you think Volquez's father would help from the heavens and stop the world from being destroyed? Volquez will play one of the games, at least.

All hail Volquez and his dad, saviour of our universe!

This is called, "Clash of The Royals". Volquez's father as Zeus and Volquze as the demi-God.
This fits so well with the movie.

In all seriousness, Volquez started the season with a win, so I sense good statistics coming out of him.

[Outer Sparta]

All hail Volquez and his dad, saviour of our universe!

This is called, "Clash of The Royals". Volquez's father as Zeus and Volquze as the demi-God.
This fits so well with the movie.

In all seriousness, Volquez started the season with a win, so I sense good statistics coming out of him.

Volquez is the neutralizer.

[Gim]

This is called, "Clash of The Royals". Volquez's father as Zeus and Volquze as the demi-God.
This fits so well with the movie.

In all seriousness, Volquez started the season with a win, so I sense good statistics coming out of him.

Volquez is the neutralizer.

I wonder what happens if a good team like the Royals faces the lowly Yankees.

[Outer Sparta]

Volquez is the neutralizer.

I wonder what happens if a good team like the Royals faces the lowly Yankees.

The Yankees explode in a supernova and Volquez neutralizes it when Tanaka or Sabathia pitches.

[Gim]

I wonder what happens if a good team like the Royals faces the lowly Yankees.

The Yankees explode in a supernova and Volquez neutralizes it when Tanaka or Sabathia pitches.

Man, I would hate to see another disastrous event equivalent to 9/11.

[Outer Sparta]

The Yankees explode in a supernova and Volquez neutralizes it when Tanaka or Sabathia pitches.

Man, I would hate to see another disastrous event equivalent to 9/11.

Don't worry, Volquez can neutralize anything.

[Gim]

Man, I would hate to see another disastrous event equivalent to 9/11.

Don't worry, Volquez can neutralize anything.

Man, he is just the right pitcher to be in Kansas City. $7.5M salary with an above-average statistic. Even Dim is $8 or 9 million, I think.

[Outer Sparta]

Don't worry, Volquez can neutralize anything.

Man, he is just the right pitcher to be in Kansas City. $7.5M salary with an above-average statistic. Even Dim is $8 or 9 million, I think.

8 million for Dim. Man, Volquez costs less than Dim.

[Gim]

Man, he is just the right pitcher to be in Kansas City. $7.5M salary with an above-average statistic. Even Dim is $8 or 9 million, I think.

8 million for Dim. Man, Volquez costs less than Dim.

This is why society is unfair. The more incompetent, sometimes the more paid. Tsk, tsk.

[Outer Sparta]

8 million for Dim. Man, Volquez costs less than Dim.

This is why society is unfair. The more incompetent, sometimes the more paid. Tsk, tsk.

Keuchel and Arrieta deserve the money Dim and Tanaka make.

[Gim]

This is why society is unfair. The more incompetent, sometimes the more paid. Tsk, tsk.

Keuchel and Arrieta deserve the money Dim and Tanaka make.

Both of their salaries combined is less than Tanaka's. You have to be kidding me.

[Outer Sparta]

Keuchel and Arrieta deserve the money Dim and Tanaka make.

Both of their salaries combined is less than Tanaka's. You have to be kidding me.

Arrieta, Dee Gordon, Keuchel, and Volquez make less money combined (14 million) than Tanaka's 22 million.