Recommend Me a Cult

[Saige Dragon]

Well I've decided that my life isn't on the right track and I need some sort of group structure where I can quit thinking for myself. Looking at most mainstream religions out there, I've found they're far to accepting of new ideas and logic and none have some great big final meeting with 'Bob on floor 22 1/2' where by we take part in group 'enlightenment'. Christianity is old hat as is Islam, I'm to poor for Scientology and I'm not thrifty enough for Judaism. I'd also prefer something that doesn't end with Kool-Aid, something a little more creative would be nice. And weekends, I'd like my weekends to be free if possible. I don't care if I'm required to where a robe or a matching jump suit. Something on a farm would be nice, away from the cities too. That's about it... Have at 'er NSG.

[Ashmoria]

if you become a moonie--the unification church-- they will even find a nice (probably korean) girl for you to marry.

[Brogavia]

Communism.

But in all seriousness, why join when you can make one?

Start wearing white robes and hand out fliers at college campuses talking about how you have discovered the true path happiness and all that junk.

[Urzamalandi]

Start wearing white robes and hand out fliers at college campuses talking about how you have discovered the true path happiness and all that junk.

That made it worth staying up this late...

[Barringtonia]

if you become a moonie--the unification church-- they will even find a nice (probably korean) girl for you to marry.

Sounds quite the plan although Koreans have one hell of a temper, I suspect it's the kimchi.

Well I've decided that my life isn't on the right track and I need some sort of group structure where I can quit thinking for myself.

How about becoming a Tea Party activist, seems to fit the criteria.

Communism.

Ha ha, damn!

[Mikoyan-Guryevich]

How about you just run naked up and down the street yelling "the end is near!"

[Saige Dragon]

if you become a moonie--the unification church-- they will even find a nice (probably korean) girl for you to marry.

As sweet as that sounds, my Korean is terrible.

Communism.

But in all seriousness, why join when you can make one?

Start wearing white robes and hand out fliers at college campuses talking about how you have discovered the true path happiness and all that junk.

Making one is way to much work. Like I said I'm tired of making my own decisions, I want to be the mindless drone I know I can be.

[Technological Network]

I'm a cult, pick me.

[Saige Dragon]

How about you just run naked up and down the street yelling "the end is near!"

I don't have the beard for it...

[Maurepas]

Reppyism is quite well organized, and Reppy is a fair deity...

[UnhealthyTruthseeker]

Heaven's gate, because the only solution to your problems is to become an hero.

Please don't take this seriously.

[Jubu Jubu Jabu]

OP have you 4chan?

[Dinner Theatre Actors]

As long as you don't really want a religious experience, they are GREAT for slacking.

[The Rich Port]

I recommend 4chan. IF you're a pedophile

[Saige Dragon]

Reppyism is quite well organized, and Reppy is a fair deity...

I thought of that, but I want something more. An internet based cult just doesn't cut it for me.

Heaven's gate, because the only solution to your problems is to become an hero.

Please don't take this seriously.

Oooh, asphyxiation. Snazzy. Looks like I'm a little late for that party though.

[New Sociopia]

Heaven's gate, because the only solution to your problems is to become an hero.

Please don't take this seriously.

The Heaven's Gate ship has sailed. Until 4385. If you plan on living that long to kill yourself for the sake of a ball of ice, well, then that truly is insane cultism.

[Kharsus]

Well I've decided that my life isn't on the right track and I need some sort of group structure where I can quit thinking for myself. Looking at most mainstream religions out there, I've found they're far to accepting of new ideas and logic and none have some great big final meeting with 'Bob on floor 22 1/2' where by we take part in group 'enlightenment'. Christianity is old hat as is Islam, I'm to poor for Scientology and I'm not thrifty enough for Judaism. I'd also prefer something that doesn't end with Kool-Aid, something a little more creative would be nice. And weekends, I'd like my weekends to be free if possible. I don't care if I'm required to where a robe or a matching jump suit. Something on a farm would be nice, away from the cities too. That's about it... Have at 'er NSG.

The church of REPPY, REPPY has spoken!

[UnhealthyTruthseeker]

I recommend 4chan. IF you're a pedophile

Yes, the cult of Boxxy.

[Verlorenen]

Just take off your clothes, dance around a fire, and chant the following phrase over and over again:

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

If the stars are jusssst right, let's just say you'll be very suprised with what happens.

[Saige Dragon]

I recommend 4chan. IF you're a pedophile

Yes, the cult of Boxxy.

OP have you 4chan?

Yea I guess I should have mentioned, something that shuns technology and the internet. Not Amish techno shunning but stuff that could allow for access to outside influences and ideas techno shunning...

Also if they'd allow me to wear obnoxious sunglasses they're probably out as well.

[Tokos]

Just take off your clothes, dance around a fire, and chant the following phrase over and over again:

"Ph'nglui mglw'nafh Cthulhu R'lyeh wgah'nagl fhtagn."

If the stars are jusssst right, let's just say you'll be very suprised with what happens.

Cthulhu is one of the less interesting Old Ones.

Finding semi-divine fishwomen in the south seas to fuck is a better Lovecraft cult idea.

[New Dracora]

I recommend 4chan. IF you're a pedophile

Yes, the cult of Boxxy.

OP have you 4chan?

Yea I guess I should have mentioned, something that shuns technology and the internet. Not Amish techno shunning but stuff that could allow for access to outside influences and ideas techno shunning...

Also if they'd allow me to wear obnoxious sunglasses they're probably out as well.

*hands you the book of mormon*

[Verlorenen]

Cthulhu is one of the less interesting Old Ones.

Finding semi-divine fishwomen in the south seas to fuck is a better Lovecraft cult idea.

Yes, I would assume that fucking semi-divine fishwomen is far better than being eaten by a massive cephalopod monster or being swallowed up by the geometry of his non-Euclidean city of death.

[Lackadaisical2]

I heard from a pretty cool guy that raelians are hot.

[Dinner Theatre Actors]