Zombie Survival Plan

[Plzen]

I live 15km from a major metropolis with 5+ million people.

I also don't have a firearm and have no idea where to get one, nor do I know where the nearest police station or army base is.

My best 100m dash time is 18.7 seconds coupled with zero knowledge of countryside survival, let alone the actual wilderness.

Did I mention that I'm not a competent speaker of the local language?

In this scenario, I'll be lucky to last a night.

Put the metropolis to your back and keep going until you get eaten I suppose

More likely, I'll be killed by one of the hundreds of thousands that will have the same idea.

I mean, I can't even ask for mercy, unless the mugger happens to know English or one of my other languages.

[Paper Sprite]

Well for your education here's the simple version :

Step 1 : Locate pointy / sharp end of knife
Step 2 : Stick pointy / sharp end in target

Target stays alive and eats your face, uh-oh!

Target is brain. That's the off button.

[Paper Sprite]

I think you may be mistaking "know how to wield a blade" with "be a master ninjitsu warrior with a katana"

Seriously, there are people who don't know how to wield a blade. Or are not willing to, even in direst self-defense.

Thanks for clarifying that the whole thread is set within the Walking Dead canon though. Makes it roleplaying, mmm?

It was clarified in the very first post.

Everyone knows how to wield a blade unless they've never seen one in their life. They may or may not be willing to do it but they know the basics.

[AiliailiA]

Well for your education here's the simple version :

Step 1 : Locate pointy / sharp end of knife
Step 2 : Stick pointy / sharp end in target

this is why I have Ifreann on my ignore list. His attitude he is not a genius probably just a fool. I didn't say that you would be fighting for hours I said I would use a Machete or a Spiked Bat doofus.

Ignore list didn't work for you did it? Seeing as you just flamed Ifreann. Twice by my count.

[Chronodosia]

Target stays alive and eats your face, uh-oh!

Target is brain. That's the off button.

I love choping heads off

[Paper Sprite]

Put the metropolis to your back and keep going until you get eaten I suppose

More likely, I'll be killed by one of the hundreds of thousands that will have the same idea.

I mean, I can't even ask for mercy, unless the mugger happens to know English or one of my other languages.

Cover yourself in your own fear produced faeces to discourage others from going near you?

[Chronodosia]

this is why I have Ifreann on my ignore list. His attitude he is not a genius probably just a fool. I didn't say that you would be fighting for hours I said I would use a Machete or a Spiked Bat doofus.

Ignore list didn't work for you did it? Seeing as you just flamed Ifreann. Twice by my count.

Cus I looked at the posts to see how stupid he was being.

[Wallenburg]

Survive the apocalypse?

As in - it's guaranteed it'll spiral out of control as opposed to Patient Zero being shot and killed by authorities and infectees who are clearly showing symptom they cannot ignore hoping to turn out miraculously Immune despite the fact that necrosis is gnawing at the arm that was bitten earlier?

Yeah, fuck that. In a world where all semblance of common sense has died, I'd probably just find a nice, tall building and attempt to fly to the moon by jumping off and flapping my arms really fast.

Killing Patient Zero might not accomplish anything. In the Walking Dead, everyone is infected by the virus, which is airborne, but people only turn into zombies if they die or get bitten. So you kill patient Zero, everything's fine until people start having heart attacks.

Yeah, it doesn't really make any sense.

I always thought of it as two viruses: one airborne and responsible for resurrection, and the other transmitted via bite and basically a really powerful flu virus.

My survival plan? Find Morgan.

[Italios]

Very simple survival plan: colonize Mars.

Or better yet, take this amazing piece of advice!

[Plzen]

More likely, I'll be killed by one of the hundreds of thousands that will have the same idea.

I mean, I can't even ask for mercy, unless the mugger happens to know English or one of my other languages.

Cover yourself in your own fear produced faeces to discourage others from going near you?

... let's hope such a scenario never comes to pass.

[Excidium Planetis]

Well for your education here's the simple version :

Step 1 : Locate pointy / sharp end of knife
Step 2 : Stick pointy / sharp end in target

Target stays alive and eats your face, uh-oh!

---

I wasn't aware your government had a plan for dealing with zombies.

Mine probably doesn't, but plans for civil unrest and disease outbreaks can be modified to suit a zombie outbreak.

In the US, there isn't one. And considering our government has been shown completely unable to stop one person from running into the White House, I'm pretty sure our politicians would be the first to be killed by zombies.

*ahem*

Disease outbreak response will do nothing. Don't you know the premise of the Walking Dead? Everyone was already infected before people realized there were zombies. You can't stop the spread of a disease everyone already has.

Did you even read the CDC plan? I did. It's a standard disaster plan, and has almost nothing to do with zombies. You'd be about as prepared as someone who knows what a fire drill is.

[AiliailiA]

Seriously, there are people who don't know how to wield a blade. Or are not willing to, even in direst self-defense.

Thanks for clarifying that the whole thread is set within the Walking Dead canon though. Makes it roleplaying, mmm?

It was clarified in the very first post.

Everyone knows how to wield a blade unless they've never seen one in their life. They may or may not be willing to do it but they know the basics.

No, that is still not true.

But this thread is not a place for debate. In the first paragraph of the OP you defined the grounds of debate as within a fictional canon. This is a role-playing thread. I do not belong in it.

[Plzen]

In all seriousness, my actual plan will probably be based off running off to the local mall and dropping the chandelier on the escalator between the 2nd and 3rd floors.

The key, I think, is to go run off to somewhere few others think of.

In the suburbs, "running into a mall half a kilometer further into town" really should be something not many people think of.

[Ifreann]

Well for your education here's the simple version :

Step 1 : Locate pointy / sharp end of knife
Step 2 : Stick pointy / sharp end in target

this is why I have Ifreann on my ignore list. His attitude he is not a genius probably just a fool. I didn't say that you would be fighting for hours I said I would use a Machete or a Spiked Bat doofus.

Your words hurt more than any spiked bat ever could.

---

I am accepting the premise of your thread. I'm rejecting the conclusions you draw from that premise. Conclusions you still haven't justified. Not that I'm holding my breath if you're going to resort to insulting me.

The premise is the Walking Dead world.

The premise is Walking Dead zombies.

Perhaps your time would be better spent watching some to get up to speed.

Posting on the internet doesn't get in the way of doing my job. Watching the Walking Dead rather would.

---

O, wonder!
How many tough guys are there here!
How braggadocios the 'net is! O brave new world,
That has such posters in't!

I think you may be mistaking "know how to wield a blade" with "be a master ninjitsu warrior with a katana"

I think you may be mistaking "can make a sandwich" with "can sufficiently destroy a zombie's body before they turn you into a sandwich".

---

Target stays alive and eats your face, uh-oh!

Target is brain. That's the off button.

Human skulls are a little tougher than whatever it is they make TV props from.

---

Target is brain. That's the off button.

I love choping heads off

Spines are made of bone and tend to resist being severed.

[Chronodosia]

In all seriousness, my actual plan will probably be based off running off to the local mall and dropping the chandelier on the escalator between the 2nd and 3rd floors.

The key, I think, is to go run off to somewhere few others think of.

In the suburbs, "running into a mall half a kilometer further into town" really should be something not many people think of.

You would be surprised.

[Excidium Planetis]

Any plan involving leaving the city immediately is a bad idea. Everyone else will do the same thing, and then you've only moved with the crowd, not away from it.

Likewise, looting gun stores or Wal-mart or any other store that immediately jumps to your mind as the place to loot isn't a good idea either. Unless you live right next door, it's probably going to be looted before you get to it.

Fighting zombies at close range is also a bad idea. Are you confident that you can smash your weapon through a person's skull before being surrounded and killed? I don't think so. Best to just jog away and sleep on roof tops.

[Paper Sprite]

The premise is Walking Dead zombies.

My thread, my premise

Posting on the internet doesn't get in the way of doing my job.

Sounds important

I think you may be mistaking "can make a sandwich" with "can sufficiently destroy a zombie's body before they turn you into a sandwich".

Nope

Human skulls are a little tougher than whatever it is they make TV props from.

When the choice is do nothing and die and try to penetrate skull through a handy opening (anterior base of skull being weak along with the sphenoid or eyes) I think i'd choose not to be eaten

Spines are made of bone and tend to resist being severed.

You should tell the Saudis or ISIS that

[Wallenburg]

As long as you have solar power...

[Soled]

Zombies like the one seen in movies will never become a major threat to society. But given that is apparently the case here, 60% of Norway is just desolate wilderness, so i think i'd be fine on one of the many hundred tiny islands in my area.

[Plzen]

In all seriousness, my actual plan will probably be based off running off to the local mall and dropping the chandelier on the escalator between the 2nd and 3rd floors.

The key, I think, is to go run off to somewhere few others think of.

In the suburbs, "running into a mall half a kilometer further into town" really should be something not many people think of.

You would be surprised.

Hmm... then perhaps go for the airport. Should be a quick two day's walk.

If I survive the trip (admittedly unlikely), I arrive at a location with a reasonably good supply of food and especially fuel. Besides, who goes to the airport in a zombie apocalypse, unless you know how to fly a plane?

Water will probably be a bit short. Survival, basic hygine and cooking is already close to 10 liters a day.

[Chronodosia]

You would be surprised.

Hmm... then perhaps go for the airport. Should be a quick two day's walk.

If I survive the trip (admittedly unlikely), I arrive at a location with a reasonably good supply of food and especially fuel. Besides, who goes to the airport in a zombie apocalypse, unless you know how to fly a plane?

Water will probably be a bit short. Survival, basic hygine and cooking is already close to 10 liters a day.

thats a better idea than the mall just never go to a hospital.

[Paper Sprite]

You would be surprised.

Hmm... then perhaps go for the airport. Should be a quick two day's walk.

If I survive the trip (admittedly unlikely), I arrive at a location with a reasonably good supply of food and especially fuel. Besides, who goes to the airport in a zombie apocalypse, unless you know how to fly a plane?

Water will probably be a bit short. Survival, basic hygine and cooking is already close to 10 liters a day.

10 litres seems a bit steep. Say 2.5 litres for basic hydration. Stop cooking soup and having long baths after

[Excidium Planetis]

Zombies like the one seen in movies will never become a major threat to society. But given that is apparently the case here, 60% of Norway is just desolate wilderness, so i think i'd be fine on one of the many hundred tiny islands in my area.

I don't see how "everyone who dies turns into a violent death machine" isn't considered a major threat. I'd be pretty concerned when my grandfather dying in his sleep means I could get killed in the middle of the night.

True.

[Plzen]

Hmm... then perhaps go for the airport. Should be a quick two day's walk.

If I survive the trip (admittedly unlikely), I arrive at a location with a reasonably good supply of food and especially fuel. Besides, who goes to the airport in a zombie apocalypse, unless you know how to fly a plane?

Water will probably be a bit short. Survival, basic hygine and cooking is already close to 10 liters a day.

thats a better idea than the mall just never go to a hospital.

There's also the bonus that airports are structured so that it's hard to go from one place to another without following designated and highly predictable routes. At least, if you bothered to lock doors in key places.

[Chronodosia]

thats a better idea than the mall just never go to a hospital.

There's also the bonus that airports are structured so that it's hard to go from one place to another without following designated and highly predictable routes. At least, if you bothered to lock doors in key places.

Yep. Rember never go to a hospital.