I'm gay, so my child must be as well.

[Kura kingdom]

She's a very silly person and she's already quickly finding out what many straight parents are finding out: Being gay is not a choice.

Ultimately childhood is about investigating and learning, it's best not to hamper that process unless something is actually wrong.

I'm really silly;)

[Mavorpen]

She didn't say anything about teaching her daughter any such thing in that sentence or any other. You may as well say that she left her feelings about BLTs open to interpretation.

My favorite part is that in the article, she explicitly clarified and said the opposite later on:

If my daughter is gay, I don’t worry about her having a hard life. But I do worry about people expecting her to have a hard life — helping to perpetuate discrimination that might otherwise fade more quickly. I want my daughter to know that being gay is equally desirable to being straight. The problem is not the idea that homosexuality could be a choice but the idea that heterosexuality should be compulsory. In my house it’s plainly, evidently not. We’ve bought every picture book featuring gay families, even the not-very-good ones, and we have most of the nontraditional-gender-role books as well — about the princess who likes to fight dragons and the boy who likes to wear dresses.

When my daughter plays house with her stuffed koala bears as the mom and dad, we gently remind her that they could be a dad and dad. Sometimes she changes her narrative. Sometimes she doesn’t. It’s her choice.

I mean for fuck's sake, I'm genuinely interested in how much selective reading it requires to even remotely misconstrue what the article is saying.

[Mondoncon]

Hey, she's six. Most six year olds don't care about dating and stuff. But when you have a parent who's willing to discuss risky topics with their child, it's no surprise that she'll have feelings. It is learned (expression of feelings, not the feelings), after all.

No, lots of six year olds have crushes on their classmates. That's pretty normal.

I'm well aware of that.

[Dakini]

No, lots of six year olds have crushes on their classmates. That's pretty normal.

I'm well aware of that.

So why were you rambling about how most six year olds don't care about dating and stuff and how this is a "risky topic" to discuss that leads to the dreaded expression of feelings?

[Mondoncon]

I'm well aware of that.

So why were you rambling about how most six year olds don't care about dating and stuff and how this is a "risky topic" to discuss that leads to the dreaded expression of feelings?

Maybe that was a poor choice of words. And I never said dreaded. What I mean is that kids don't usually seem to care about crushes aside from having them and smiling at their crush. Play time is far more exciting and attention grabbing.

Which only makes my wording more confusing because I called what Ari the Israeli boy did child's play.

[Cetacea]

Hey, she's six. Most six year olds don't care about dating and stuff. But when you have a parent who's willing to discuss risky topics with their child, it's no surprise that she'll have feelings. It is learned (expression of feelings, not the feelings), after all.

No, lots of six year olds have crushes on their classmates. That's pretty normal.

a six year old having a "boyfriend" is not the same as being "boy crazy", as if the child is obsessed with boys in general, rather than there being a particular boy whom she likes. The irony of the piece is that Kohn is trying to show that gayness is a positive functional state which is only limited by societies preconceptions, whilst at the same time labeling her childs interest in boys as 'crazy' ie a dysfunctional state

its that lack of consistency that is disturbing despite the fact that she seems to be an otherwise loving supportive non gender normative, non-hierarchical familial caregiver and that as an opinion piece the link should perhaps not be taken so seriously....

[Empire of Infinite Evil]

I believe that sexuality is not a choice, that it is determined at birth and you cannot change it. I am straight and I wouldn't like my child being gay but that would be something I would have to live with as no amount of control or influence would be able to make that child straight. That's just my opinion though, science may prove me wrong.

[Mondoncon]

No, lots of six year olds have crushes on their classmates. That's pretty normal.

a six year old having a "boyfriend" is not the same as being "boy crazy", as if the child is obsessed with boys in general, rather than a boy whom she likes. The irony of the piece is that Kohn is trying to show that gayness is a positive functional state which is only limited by societies preconceptions, whilst at the same time labeling her childs interest in boys as 'crazy' ie a dysfunctional state

its that lack of consistency that is disturbing despite the fact that she seems to be an otherwise loving supportive non gender normative, non-hierarchical familial caregiver and that as an opnion peice it should perhaps not be taken so seriously....

I get the feeling that she said "boy crazy" because her daughter comes home and says something about the boy she has a crush on quite often. Which is good, because that means she shares with her mother. I doubt boy crazy had any significant negative implications. But hey, I'm one person.

[Tyrandel]

No he isn't.

Not necessarily, anyway.

Please do this every time. Then, maybe if we can get a photo of a bear shitting in a residential neighborhood and a science type to explain how technically water itself isn't actually wet I can stop reading those three dumbass empty statements in threads where someone has nothing to fucking say.

You have done a great service today, a great service.


That probably reads sarcastic. Seriously, that's awesome.

[Butballs]

If i ever had a child, doubting i would, I'd raise him/her to be asexual, mainly because i dont want more people running on this earth, and I'd want my child to be smart.

Nothing wrong with this mother.

[New Stephania]

She didn't say anything about teaching her daughter any such thing in that sentence or any other. You may as well say that she left her feelings about BLTs open to interpretation.

For fuck's sake. For the absolute final time, that's precisely the point I was making to Iwassoclose. This must be what I get for removing you from ignore, correcting that right now.

You and Mavorpen so determined to make an argument with me you don't even see you're agreeing with me.
I shouldn't complain, when both the extreme opposing sides both try to pick fights with me I know I'm in a good place.

[Mondoncon]

If i ever had a child, doubting i would, I'd raise him/her to be asexual, mainly because i dont want more people running on this earth, and I'd want my child to be smart.

Nothing wrong with this mother.

Well, there's nothing wrong with her because she isn't raising her child to be anything, just teaching her that there isn't a one track path to life and she's free to choose her future.

[Bandwagon]

The mother seems to be heterophobic.

[Stagnant Axon Terminal]

If i ever had a child, doubting i would, I'd raise him/her to be asexual, mainly because i dont want more people running on this earth, and I'd want my child to be smart.

Nothing wrong with this mother.

>Suggesting that asexual people don't have children
>Suggesting that nonasexual people are not smart
>Suggesting you can raise your child to be a certain sexuality

You are on a roll

[Nazi Flower Power]

Am I the only one who felt that the article was more about the mother feeling unsure how to handle a hetero child and feeling awkward than it was about her actually wanting to make her daughter gay? I saw it as mostly like, "I just realized that I don't have these experiences and I am uncomfortable, where I wouldn't be if she were gay, so I wish she would be" and not so much "I want to turn my daughter into a raging roller-derby-lesbian."

I kind of felt that way too. There's a lot of gay pride in there, but it's not, "I'm going to force my daughter to be gay and disown her if she isn't!"

[Stagnant Axon Terminal]

Am I the only one who felt that the article was more about the mother feeling unsure how to handle a hetero child and feeling awkward than it was about her actually wanting to make her daughter gay? I saw it as mostly like, "I just realized that I don't have these experiences and I am uncomfortable, where I wouldn't be if she were gay, so I wish she would be" and not so much "I want to turn my daughter into a raging roller-derby-lesbian."

I kind of felt that way too. There's a lot of gay pride in there, but it's not, "I'm going to force my daughter to be gay and disown her if she isn't!"

parents want their child to be like them. it's natural. She's not putting down heterosexuals or forcing her daughter to be gay. She's just a parent with her own struggles.

[Galmarch]

Trying to enforce ones beliefs at children that young is in my mind wrong, regardless if it is about sexuality, religion or lack of religion or any other thing.
Let the child decide for itself, have discussions with it but let the child be the one to decide.

[Mavorpen]

Trying to enforce ones beliefs at children that young is in my mind wrong, regardless if it is about sexuality, religion or lack of religion or any other thing.

I hope you don't think that this is actually occurring in this case. It isn't. The OP is completely misrepresenting the article.

Let the child decide for itself, have discussions with it but let the child be the one to decide.

Which the mother explicitly states she is doing.

[Galmarch]

Trying to enforce ones beliefs at children that young is in my mind wrong, regardless if it is about sexuality, religion or lack of religion or any other thing.

I hope you don't think that this is actually occurring in this case. It isn't. The OP is completely misrepresenting the article.

Let the child decide for itself, have discussions with it but let the child be the one to decide.

Which the mother explicitly states she is doing.

Admittedly I did not read the article until now.
Shame on me.
Also meant more in general terms.

[Mavorpen]

I hope you don't think that this is actually occurring in this case. It isn't. The OP is completely misrepresenting the article.

Which the mother explicitly states she is doing.

Admittedly I did not read the article until now.
Shame on me.
Also meant more in general terms.

Alright. Just making sure you're aware.

[Arcanda]

OP

I agree, this isn't good at all.I am all for gay rights but going the other way around and trying to force your daughter to be gay is just wrong.As much wrong as it is to force a gay child to be straight.

[Mavorpen]

OP

I agree, this isn't good at all.I am all for gay rights but going the other way around and trying to force your daughter to be gay is just wrong.As much wrong as it is to force a gay child to be straight.

No one is forcing their daughter to be gay. Please actually read the article rather than go by OP's misrepresentation of it.

[Russels Orbiting Teapot]

For everyone going on about how the opposite of this would be decried as homophobia:

40% of homeless youths are LGBT+

Most of them (7/10) are homeless because of family rejection, meaning that they have been disowned or chased out of their homes by their families.

I think most of us would be completely fine with this kind of parenting in reverse.

[United States of Natan]

No matter your sexuality or your child's, if they are gay, they are gay. If they are straight, they are straight. You cannot change that, nor should you attempt to. No offense to the gay community, but I feel that minorities fighting for their rights have the responsibility to follow their own values and moral obligations more so than the majority, to show the majority who are declining you your rights that you are worthy of them. A person who is gay and wants their child to be gay is no better than a straight parent who wants their child to be straight, nor are they better than gay parents.

[Sarigen]

Okay first: the provocative title of this thread doesn't capture the story, though it's very click bait

Second, the mother says she'd like if her daughter were like her, but is going to accept her no matter what. This is good parenting. How many people want their children to be of the same religion, sexuality, even income as themselves? How many parents have disowned their children because they weren't consistent with themselves?

Both rhetorical - but a LOT. And it happens all the time, and it's happening today.

Now, we have this mother that admits she'd like her daughter to be similar to herself, but also affirms that she'll love and accept her daughter regardless? That's the right approach, if more parents had it, we'd have a better world.