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CNN Says that ISIL is hiring using Nutella, Cats and Emoji.

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The Huskar Social Union
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Postby The Huskar Social Union » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:21 pm

Utceforp wrote:In order to deny ISIS resources, we need to eat as much Nutella as possible as quickly as possible.

I know I'm playing my part.

Im Playing my part too!
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Torisakia
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Postby Torisakia » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:47 pm

Utceforp wrote:In order to deny ISIS resources, we need to eat as much Nutella as possible as quickly as possible.

I know I'm playing my part.

I would help if I liked Nutella.
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Purpelia
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Postby Purpelia » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:51 pm

Bandwagon wrote:http://thedailyedge.thejournal.ie/cnn-isis-kittens-nutella-1946398-Feb2015/
So CNN is joining Fox News and the Daily Fail in their bizarre club of fake news, or weird news. CNN needs to come out with a statement today to say it's true or it's totes lies.
What do you think of this bizzare story?

CNN has not been genuine since like the cold war. The only reason people thing otherwise is because other news media *hint FOX hint* are even worse. Have you ever tuned into the CNN channel? You get real news mixed in with hilarious useless stuff that would frankly only be good for the Yahoo news page.
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Dumb Ideologies
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Postby Dumb Ideologies » Wed Feb 18, 2015 2:56 pm

Torisakia wrote:
Utceforp wrote:In order to deny ISIS resources, we need to eat as much Nutella as possible as quickly as possible.

I know I'm playing my part.

I would help if I liked Nutella.


I have a visceral hatred of Nutella. Just seeing a jar makes me feel uncomfortable. It turns out that it's to protect me from terrorism.
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Furry Alairia and Algeria
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Postby Furry Alairia and Algeria » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:16 pm

It's true. Recently I joined the jihad in a attempt to get kittens, some nutella, and for someone to text me a emoji.
Sadly, I was lured over by the west when they offered to give me puppies and Reese's pieces.
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Postby Constantinopolis » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:22 pm

So... because this is Daesh we're talking about after all, would it be safe to assume that they dip the kittens in nutella and then eat them?
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Postby Costa Fierro » Wed Feb 18, 2015 3:39 pm

I misread the title and thought they said "Nigella". I'd sign up if all the virgins in heaven were like Nigella Lawson. *makes sexual growling noises*
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Postby United Russian Soviet States » Wed Feb 18, 2015 4:07 pm

That shows they use human psychological tactics.
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Knockturn Alley
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Postby Knockturn Alley » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:50 am

It seems CNN just did a Foxie :p
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Postby Risottia » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:56 am

Torisakia wrote:Isn't this how everyone lures women to them? Or is it just me?

I generally throw in also some wine and Italian-made leather bags.
Which is why I'm more successful than ISIL with women. Then again, this causes me to have no time to waste on stuff like bombings and genocide..
unlike ISIL.
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Postby Kravanica » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:58 am

Mike the Progressive wrote:Its a well known fact that chicks like it when you smear nutella on their ass. Good call, ISIL. I'm not a fan, but it beats throwing the ball on the one yard line despite having three plays left and Lynch there.

Men like to lick it off.
Last edited by Kravanica on Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Gzoria
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Postby Gzoria » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:59 am

Smiling Nutella Kitten Jihad?
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Stagnant Axon Terminal
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Postby Stagnant Axon Terminal » Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:56 am

Nutella? Kittens? I am SO in.
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Big Brain City
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Postby Big Brain City » Thu Feb 19, 2015 11:59 am

Costa Fierro wrote:I misread the title and thought they said "Nigella". I'd sign up if all the virgins in heaven were like Nigella Lawson. *makes sexual growling noises*

:D
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Postby New Hampshire Republic » Thu Feb 19, 2015 12:12 pm

Cable news, everybody.
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Mike the Progressive
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Postby Mike the Progressive » Thu Feb 19, 2015 3:07 pm

Kravanica wrote:
Mike the Progressive wrote:Its a well known fact that chicks like it when you smear nutella on their ass. Good call, ISIL. I'm not a fan, but it beats throwing the ball on the one yard line despite having three plays left and Lynch there.

Men like to lick it off.


Yes we do.
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Italios
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Postby Italios » Thu Feb 19, 2015 8:56 pm

Bah, peanut butter is better.
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Gauthier
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Postby Gauthier » Thu Feb 19, 2015 9:49 pm

I'm surprised Nutella stocks haven't plummeted in light of this startling revelation.
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Nanatsu no Tsuki
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Postby Nanatsu no Tsuki » Thu Feb 19, 2015 9:50 pm

No, I'm not an ISIL agent.
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Blakk Metal
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Postby Blakk Metal » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:06 pm

Obviously photoshop
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Cyrisnia
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Postby Cyrisnia » Thu Feb 19, 2015 10:08 pm

This just in, ISIL targeting children via legos and Sesame Street.
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-Nutella-
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Postby -Nutella- » Sat Feb 21, 2015 1:09 am

I'm Nutella and I find this offensive...actually yummy too but mostly offensive...
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Washington Resistance Army
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Postby Washington Resistance Army » Sat Feb 21, 2015 1:15 am

Nutella and cats you say...

My inner urge to become a Jihadi just became a bit stronger.
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Benuty
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Benuty » Sat Feb 21, 2015 2:56 am

-Nutella- wrote:I'm Nutella and I find this offensive...actually yummy too but mostly offensive...

I knew it! Nutella is full of Ebola!
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Benuty
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Corrupt Dictatorship

Postby Benuty » Sat Feb 21, 2015 2:57 am

Washington Resistance Army wrote:Nutella and cats you say...

My inner urge to become a Jihadi just became a bit stronger.

Suddenly the FBI appears at your front door "advising" you not to go.
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