NationStates' Transgender Thread

[Val Halla]

Kinda disgusting that some states still ban it.

Can you answer my question, please? It's a concern, y'know, looking at my sig.

I wish I could answer, but I have absolutely no idea.

Well, can't imagine you'd need to know. Not sure who could answer it exactly TBH.

[Dyakovo]

So when the same sex marriage debate is over, should we try to put the spotlight on trans rights in 2016, in the height of the election? What are the most important rights to protect?

Why not start now? Why can't we protect both at once?

Right now, trans equality is at about the same place that gay equality was in the 90s. Which is sad, really. And as we all know, justice delayed is justice denied. Love can't wait, but neither can trans peoples' bladders.

Eh... I wouldn't say it's "sad"... Definitely unfortunate for people who are trans, but a factor in acceptance is understanding and it is generally easier to understand homosexual attraction than it is gender identity.

[Replevion]

I emerge from the depths.

One thing I'm wondering. How, uhm, durable, would my fixed "you know where" be? Odd thing to ask, but I'm concerned.

As a medical question really it's something you should ask an actual surgeon. It might vary in an individual basis and might make somebody else's experience not scalable or portable, to use the argot of my field.

[Val Halla]

I emerge from the depths.

One thing I'm wondering. How, uhm, durable, would my fixed "you know where" be? Odd thing to ask, but I'm concerned.

As a medical question really it's something you should ask an actual surgeon. It might vary in an individual basis and might make somebody else's experience not scalable or portable, to use the argot of my field.

I guess I was just hoping for a general idea.

[Dyakovo]

As a medical question really it's something you should ask an actual surgeon. It might vary in an individual basis and might make somebody else's experience not scalable or portable, to use the argot of my field.

I guess I was just hoping for a general idea.

It probably wouldn't hold up to being bred by a horse, so no starring in donkey shows.
Hope that helps...

[Val Halla]

I guess I was just hoping for a general idea.

It probably wouldn't hold up to being bred by a horse, so no starring in donkey shows.
Hope that helps...

I don't get the joke. :/

[Replevion]

As a medical question really it's something you should ask an actual surgeon. It might vary in an individual basis and might make somebody else's experience not scalable or portable, to use the argot of my field.

I guess I was just hoping for a general idea.

Well if you want anecdotes (which is all I have, I'm non-op), my impression from the post-ops I've spoken with is that neo-genitals are generally somewhat weaker and more delicate than their natal counterparts. It's not that surprising when you look into how they're constructed... which I don't advise for the squeamish. Hell, it's a significant part of the reason I'm non-op. But yeah... urethral placement and stability especially with regard to sexual activity can particularly be an issue.

Oh, and if you're looking at surgery in the US, there has yet to be any successful medical malpractice suit in the SRS/GRS field, and as such there are no legal standards of care and no lawyer will touch you. So if the surgeon fucks up and you're left in a wheelchair with a colostomy bag, tough titty. Granted that's a very marginal chance, but I've been in contact with a couple trans women to whom that's happened trying to coordinate help for them, and so it's kind of weighing heavily on my mind right now, as you might expect.

Ugh trans care is still practically in the dark ages, it disgusts me.

It probably wouldn't hold up to being bred by a horse, so no starring in donkey shows.
Hope that helps...

I don't get the joke. :/

That's because you're not a raging deviant pervert, so you can be proud of that.

I got the joke. *cough*

[Dyakovo]

It probably wouldn't hold up to being bred by a horse, so no starring in donkey shows.
Hope that helps...

I don't get the joke. :/

Google "Tijuana donkey show"

[Replevion]

I don't get the joke. :/

Google "Tijuana donkey show"

Gah! Stop trying to destroy people's innocence!

[Dyakovo]

Google "Tijuana donkey show"

Gah! Stop trying to destroy people's innocence!

No.

[Val Halla]

I guess I was just hoping for a general idea.

Well if you want anecdotes (which is all I have, I'm non-op), my impression from the post-ops I've spoken with is that neo-genitals are generally somewhat weaker and more delicate than their natal counterparts. It's not that surprising when you look into how they're constructed... which I don't advise for the squeamish. Hell, it's a significant part of the reason I'm non-op. But yeah... urethral placement and stability especially with regard to sexual activity can particularly be an issue.

Oh, and if you're looking at surgery in the US, there has yet to be any successful medical malpractice suit in the SRS/GRS field, and as such there are no legal standards of care and no lawyer will touch you. So if the surgeon fucks up and you're left in a wheelchair with a colostomy bag, tough titty. Granted that's a very marginal chance, but I've been in contact with a couple trans women to whom that's happened trying to coordinate help for them, and so it's kind of weighing heavily on my mind right now, as you might expect.

Ugh trans care is still practically in the dark ages, it disgusts me.

I don't get the joke. :/

That's because you're not a raging deviant pervert, so you can be proud of that.

I got the joke. *cough*

Damn. I hope it doesn't affect me too much. Maybe if I pay more, I dunno...

[Geanna]

Google "Tijuana donkey show"

Gah! Stop trying to destroy people's innocence!

And we gather here today, to mourn the loss of our dearly departed, Val Halla's Innocence...

In seriousness, it'll depend - there exist set guidelines now for the surgery but it'll depend on your healing for the most part. If you're wondering about sexual activity, you may not be able to for 6-8 months. However, these are questions that are best addressed with your surgeon.

[Val Halla]

Gah! Stop trying to destroy people's innocence!

And we gather here today, to mourn the loss of our dearly departed, Val Halla's Innocence...

In seriousness, it'll depend - there exist set guidelines now for the surgery but it'll depend on your healing for the most part. If you're wondering about sexual activity, you may not be able to for 6-8 months. However, these are questions that are best addressed with your surgeon.

Eh, it's good in the long run. But like I said, I hope it isn't affected that much. Not that I expect to actually have a sex life, but a gal can hope, right?

[Geanna]

And we gather here today, to mourn the loss of our dearly departed, Val Halla's Innocence...

In seriousness, it'll depend - there exist set guidelines now for the surgery but it'll depend on your healing for the most part. If you're wondering about sexual activity, you may not be able to for 6-8 months. However, these are questions that are best addressed with your surgeon.

Eh, it's good in the long run. But like I said, I hope it isn't affected that much. Not that I expect to actually have a sex life, but a gal can hope, right?

After you've fully healed - you will be able to like anyone else with little difference. I'd advise against sexual activity prior to that stage, but if it happens - I strongly recommend protection to avoid any serious complication.

[Val Halla]

Eh, it's good in the long run. But like I said, I hope it isn't affected that much. Not that I expect to actually have a sex life, but a gal can hope, right?

After you've fully healed - you will be able to like anyone else with little difference. I'd advise against sexual activity prior to that stage, but if it happens - I strongly recommend protection to avoid any serious complication.

Yeah, I here ya. Not sure where I'll get it done. I was told I can start as soon as I am legally able to, and the law is changing in that regard. So there's a chance I can get the surgery done before I get to the US. How much abuse can I expect it to take? Normal?

[Geanna]

After you've fully healed - you will be able to like anyone else with little difference. I'd advise against sexual activity prior to that stage, but if it happens - I strongly recommend protection to avoid any serious complication.

Yeah, I here ya. Not sure where I'll get it done. I was told I can start as soon as I am legally able to, and the law is changing in that regard. So there's a chance I can get the surgery done before I get to the US. How much abuse can I expect it to take? Normal?

Yes

[Val Halla]

Yeah, I here ya. Not sure where I'll get it done. I was told I can start as soon as I am legally able to, and the law is changing in that regard. So there's a chance I can get the surgery done before I get to the US. How much abuse can I expect it to take? Normal?

Yes

Good. Time to start looking forward then, I suppose. I've been promised many things by my future friends, so yeah. Somebody offered to take me to get a fancy dress and go out as soon as I settle to make up for the life I've missed.

[Auremena]

So learned two valuable things yesterday;
Finally tried out my floral tube skirt in public and HELLO BUTT!
Also, 40\50something guys that are a bit buzzed and try to flirt with me still make me blush regardless. aka I pass with them.

Can we see a pic?

Not really, my phone is dead. Like, gonezo dead.

[Val Halla]

Can we see a pic?

Not really, my phone is dead. Like, gonezo dead.

I destroyed my phone. Hammer and all. I'M SO EDGY!

[Auremena]

Yeah, I here ya. Not sure where I'll get it done. I was told I can start as soon as I am legally able to, and the law is changing in that regard. So there's a chance I can get the surgery done before I get to the US. How much abuse can I expect it to take? Normal?

Yes

I've been told less...
Though new techniques could nave emerged since then.

Oh forgot to mention, I'm now getting progesterone!
But can't afford it

[Jute]

My parents are apparently much more understanding of gender issues than I thought they would be, yay Father at least still considers homosexuality "unnatural", but as someone with libertarian beliefs he'd tolerate it. And they said they never tried to enforce gender roles on me and understand that people are different. That makes me wonder where I acquired my own beliefs over what things are "for girls" and not fitting for me... School? TV?

[...]
I can tell you the three main catalysts for my gender dysphoria. In my early childhood (~4) all my neighbor's kids were girls and I thought they were cooler than me and I wanted to be like them, and that's when I first decided I wanted to be girl, a decision I've never reconsidered. My mother was a stronger and clearer role model for me growing up than my father was and that taught me to value and appreciate (and develop!) female perspective in a first person sense being modeled after her. (I was a homeschooled only child with few friends and rarely went out. 98% of the time I spent with another human being before my adulthood was spent with my mother, so it's unsurprising what deep impression she made on me in terms of modelling myself as a human being. Which is funny because superficially we're diametrically antithetical, but that's kind of a mother daughter stereotype too... oh the layers.) And lastly my dysphoria was thrown into overdrive when I basically fell in love with my male best friend and really deeply wanted to be his girlfriend. These are certainly not the only reasons, but they're the most significant.[...]

Thanks for the reply! Interesting, I can relate to the second point, though I also had male role models, so maybe that's why it's so mixed for me. As for the third point, I absolutely did that, but unfortunately circumstances have changed

[Replevion]

My parents are apparently much more understanding of gender issues than I thought they would be, yay Father at least still considers homosexuality "unnatural", but as someone with libertarian beliefs he'd tolerate it. And they said they never tried to enforce gender roles on me and understand that people are different. That makes me wonder where I acquired my own beliefs over what things are "for girls" and not fitting for me... School? TV?

[...]
I can tell you the three main catalysts for my gender dysphoria. In my early childhood (~4) all my neighbor's kids were girls and I thought they were cooler than me and I wanted to be like them, and that's when I first decided I wanted to be girl, a decision I've never reconsidered. My mother was a stronger and clearer role model for me growing up than my father was and that taught me to value and appreciate (and develop!) female perspective in a first person sense being modeled after her. (I was a homeschooled only child with few friends and rarely went out. 98% of the time I spent with another human being before my adulthood was spent with my mother, so it's unsurprising what deep impression she made on me in terms of modelling myself as a human being. Which is funny because superficially we're diametrically antithetical, but that's kind of a mother daughter stereotype too... oh the layers.) And lastly my dysphoria was thrown into overdrive when I basically fell in love with my male best friend and really deeply wanted to be his girlfriend. These are certainly not the only reasons, but they're the most significant.[...]

Thanks for the reply! Interesting, I can relate to the second point, though I also had male role models, so maybe that's why it's so mixed for me. As for the third point, I absolutely did that, but unfortunately circumstances have changed

He was the best man at my wedding, but that was seven+ years ago. He's in a common law marriage now himself and we rarely talk, but occasionally we catch up. I'm virtually certain that even if I were able to transition in my teens (which my parents would have rather committed seppuku than even contemplate) he still wouldn't have been able to see me as 'validly female' enough to actually have a romantic relationship with me.

Oh well. Other men in the world. Too bad all the ones I keep dating are deficient...

[Jute]

My parents are apparently much more understanding of gender issues than I thought they would be, yay Father at least still considers homosexuality "unnatural", but as someone with libertarian beliefs he'd tolerate it. And they said they never tried to enforce gender roles on me and understand that people are different. That makes me wonder where I acquired my own beliefs over what things are "for girls" and not fitting for me... School? TV?

Thanks for the reply! Interesting, I can relate to the second point, though I also had male role models, so maybe that's why it's so mixed for me. As for the third point, I absolutely did that, but unfortunately circumstances have changed

He was the best man at my wedding, but that was seven+ years ago. He's in a common law marriage now himself and we rarely talk, but occasionally we catch up. I'm virtually certain that even if I were able to transition in my teens (which my parents would have rather committed seppuku than even contemplate) he still wouldn't have been able to see me as 'validly female' enough to actually have a romantic relationship with me.

Oh well. Other men in the world. Too bad all the ones I keep dating are deficient...

Well, the person I was referring to told me they came to the conclusion that they are transgender as well, so I guess I have a different reason.

[Replevion]

He was the best man at my wedding, but that was seven+ years ago. He's in a common law marriage now himself and we rarely talk, but occasionally we catch up. I'm virtually certain that even if I were able to transition in my teens (which my parents would have rather committed seppuku than even contemplate) he still wouldn't have been able to see me as 'validly female' enough to actually have a romantic relationship with me.

Oh well. Other men in the world. Too bad all the ones I keep dating are deficient...

Well, the person I was referring to told me they came to the conclusion that they are transgender as well, so I guess I have a different reason.

Heh, well, that would have increased my interest, but I'm pan, what can I say...

[Dumb Ideologies]

My parents are apparently much more understanding of gender issues than I thought they would be, yay Father at least still considers homosexuality "unnatural", but as someone with libertarian beliefs he'd tolerate it. And they said they never tried to enforce gender roles on me and understand that people are different. That makes me wonder where I acquired my own beliefs over what things are "for girls" and not fitting for me... School? TV?

[...]
I can tell you the three main catalysts for my gender dysphoria. In my early childhood (~4) all my neighbor's kids were girls and I thought they were cooler than me and I wanted to be like them, and that's when I first decided I wanted to be girl, a decision I've never reconsidered. My mother was a stronger and clearer role model for me growing up than my father was and that taught me to value and appreciate (and develop!) female perspective in a first person sense being modeled after her. (I was a homeschooled only child with few friends and rarely went out. 98% of the time I spent with another human being before my adulthood was spent with my mother, so it's unsurprising what deep impression she made on me in terms of modelling myself as a human being. Which is funny because superficially we're diametrically antithetical, but that's kind of a mother daughter stereotype too... oh the layers.) And lastly my dysphoria was thrown into overdrive when I basically fell in love with my male best friend and really deeply wanted to be his girlfriend. These are certainly not the only reasons, but they're the most significant.[...]

Thanks for the reply! Interesting, I can relate to the second point, though I also had male role models, so maybe that's why it's so mixed for me. As for the third point, I absolutely did that, but unfortunately circumstances have changed

I ended up transgender mainly due to social alienation, porn, and the presence of a shared wardrobe in my room, so....