NationStates' Transgender Thread

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I had something odd happen today, but it worked out well. I went to the store to pick up some things for dinner and a tube of glue I needed. The person at the register initially said sir then corrected herself, and then apologized a million times, which was super awkward. Then she told me I wasn't old enough to buy my glue but let me buy it anyway because she felt so bad about "misgendering" me.

Why in the world is there an age restriction on glue?

MIght be because some kinds of glue are used for the purpose of getting high. (not saying Jay is doing that but that may explain the age restriction)

[Nature-Spirits]

I had something odd happen today, but it worked out well. I went to the store to pick up some things for dinner and a tube of glue I needed. The person at the register initially said sir then corrected herself, and then apologized a million times, which was super awkward. Then she told me I wasn't old enough to buy my glue but let me buy it anyway because she felt so bad about "misgendering" me.

Yeah.... Situations like that can be really awkward.

However, I will echo the others' sentiments: What the fuck is with the glue age restriction?

[Nature-Spirits]

Why in the world is there an age restriction on glue?

MIght be because some kinds of glue are used for the purpose of getting high. (not saying Jay is doing that but that may explain the age restriction)

Yeah, I thought of that too, but it's not like finding glue is difficult. Besides, there are tons of other things one can get high on.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

MIght be because some kinds of glue are used for the purpose of getting high. (not saying Jay is doing that but that may explain the age restriction)

Yeah, I thought of that too, but it's not like finding glue is difficult. Besides, there are tons of other things one can get high on.

True, but I think that may be the main reason for the age restriction.

[Olthar]

Why in the world is there an age restriction on glue?

MIght be because some kinds of glue are used for the purpose of getting high. (not saying Jay is doing that but that may explain the age restriction)

If they put age restrictions on everything kids use to get high, children wouldn't be allowed within 100 feet of any store.

[Fabulous Rainicorns]

Yeah, I thought of that too, but it's not like finding glue is difficult. Besides, there are tons of other things one can get high on.

True, but I think that may be the main reason for the age restriction.

I have gotten lightheaded from using it for extended periods of time.

But really I'm just one of those little plastic horse people that's crazy enough to make saddles and bridles and halters and other things that most of you won't even have heard of, let alone have any idea what they're used for.

[Olthar]

True, but I think that may be the main reason for the age restriction.

I have gotten lightheaded from using it for extended periods of time.

But really I'm just one of those little plastic horse people that's crazy enough to make saddles and bridles and halters and other things that most of you won't even have heard of, let alone have any idea what they're used for.

I've ridden horses before.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I have gotten lightheaded from using it for extended periods of time.

But really I'm just one of those little plastic horse people that's crazy enough to make saddles and bridles and halters and other things that most of you won't even have heard of, let alone have any idea what they're used for.

I've ridden horses before.

Oh gods, horseback riding. I haven't done that in years.

[Olthar]

I've ridden horses before.

Oh gods, horseback riding. I haven't done that in years.

Me, neither. When I was younger, I went to an equestrian summer camp, but that was over a decade ago now.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Oh gods, horseback riding. I haven't done that in years.

Me, neither. When I was younger, I went to an equestrian summer camp, but that was over a decade ago now.

I wish I could go horseback riding again. It was always fun. ^_^

[The Serbian Empire]

True, but I think that may be the main reason for the age restriction.

I have gotten lightheaded from using it for extended periods of time.

But really I'm just one of those little plastic horse people that's crazy enough to make saddles and bridles and halters and other things that most of you won't even have heard of, let alone have any idea what they're used for.

I kind of know what that is like as me and my brother would slice apart toy cars and make customs. That being said, I also know a fair bit about the equestrian side. But I have become a tad too heavy to go riding on any horse other than the most impressive of riding steeds.

[Olthar]

Me, neither. When I was younger, I went to an equestrian summer camp, but that was over a decade ago now.

I wish I could go horseback riding again. It was always fun. ^_^

Ditto. I wish I had the money to own a horse. That would be nice.

[Schwere Panzer Abieltung 502]

I'm lucky in that my family is close friends with a family which owns a very good barn. It's still not cheap, but I've been able to do a lot of riding. I even did mounted archery for a summer and got third place in a dressage tournament.

[Bralia]

Okay.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I thought my mom was starting to understand. She's been calling me her child instead of her son, she respects that I have a more feminine gender expression, she lets me have women's clothing.

But tonight, while we were watching Sense8 (great show, by the way), which of course has a character who's a trans woman, she asked me, "Do you want to be a girl?"

I paused what I was doing. I glanced away as I said, "No." It's true, after all: I don't identify as female, and I don't want to transition to a fully female role.

"So you feel okay?" she asked. "So you're okay being and living as a boy?" was the implication.

"No," I said again. That, too, is true: I've been feeling really dysphoric lately, and the need to transition weighs me down every day. There are days when I don't even want to go out the door, because not only is high school the most banal thing and its dullness just makes me depressed, but I feel like I can't be me, and I just want to lie down and cry and stay home and put on a skirt. More than that, though, I want to wear that skirt -- and anything else I want -- out into the world, and I want to be recognised as my true gender, and I want to hear people casually refer to me as "they", and I want to be able to use whatever bathroom I feel like, and I want to live as me.

Depression, anxiety, and dysphoria. What a joyous combination. I really do need to make another appointment with my shrink.

Anyway. I just.... I thought my mom was starting to understand. But I need to have a conversation with her about what I need to do. And you know what's ironic? Not too long after, she told me that I'm "courageous". I don't feel courageous. I guess it takes courage to live as a feminine man in a society where feminine men are scorned -- I've experienced the homophobia that comes with that, and it's hard to take. But I feel like a coward, because I'm too afraid to transition right away. I mean, I stand by my decision to wait until I graduate -- living as non-binary in high school would just be too difficult -- but it's because I've determined it's too difficult that I feel like a coward.

*sigh*

From what you mentioned, it sounds a miscommunication occurred in that moment in your mom. Being an Awesome Mom, have you considered sitting down and talking with her, explaining what happened during that conversation and correcting the misunderstanding?

[Nature-Spirits]

Okay.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I thought my mom was starting to understand. She's been calling me her child instead of her son, she respects that I have a more feminine gender expression, she lets me have women's clothing.

But tonight, while we were watching Sense8 (great show, by the way), which of course has a character who's a trans woman, she asked me, "Do you want to be a girl?"

I paused what I was doing. I glanced away as I said, "No." It's true, after all: I don't identify as female, and I don't want to transition to a fully female role.

"So you feel okay?" she asked. "So you're okay being and living as a boy?" was the implication.

"No," I said again. That, too, is true: I've been feeling really dysphoric lately, and the need to transition weighs me down every day. There are days when I don't even want to go out the door, because not only is high school the most banal thing and its dullness just makes me depressed, but I feel like I can't be me, and I just want to lie down and cry and stay home and put on a skirt. More than that, though, I want to wear that skirt -- and anything else I want -- out into the world, and I want to be recognised as my true gender, and I want to hear people casually refer to me as "they", and I want to be able to use whatever bathroom I feel like, and I want to live as me.

Depression, anxiety, and dysphoria. What a joyous combination. I really do need to make another appointment with my shrink.

Anyway. I just.... I thought my mom was starting to understand. But I need to have a conversation with her about what I need to do. And you know what's ironic? Not too long after, she told me that I'm "courageous". I don't feel courageous. I guess it takes courage to live as a feminine man in a society where feminine men are scorned -- I've experienced the homophobia that comes with that, and it's hard to take. But I feel like a coward, because I'm too afraid to transition right away. I mean, I stand by my decision to wait until I graduate -- living as non-binary in high school would just be too difficult -- but it's because I've determined it's too difficult that I feel like a coward.

*sigh*

From what you mentioned, it sounds a miscommunication occurred in that moment in your mom. Being an Awesome Mom, have you considered sitting down and talking with her, explaining what happened during that conversation and correcting the misunderstanding?

I've been thinking about it, but the last time I even brought up the subject of transition she started crying and yelling. I'm not eager to repeat that. It's... very difficult to explain how I feel when she won't stop telling me about all the discrimination I'll face and insisting that it would be better for me to just live as a man and "cross dress" at home.

Admittedly, the last time we had a screaming match like that was a few months ago, but I've been really wary to even broach the subject with her since the last time.

[Bralia]

From what you mentioned, it sounds a miscommunication occurred in that moment in your mom. Being an Awesome Mom, have you considered sitting down and talking with her, explaining what happened during that conversation and correcting the misunderstanding?

I've been thinking about it, but the last time I even brought up the subject of transition she started crying and yelling. I'm not eager to repeat that. It's... very difficult to explain how I feel when she won't stop telling me about all the discrimination I'll face and insisting that it would be better for me to just live as a man and "cross dress" at home.

Admittedly, the last time we had a screaming match like that was a few months ago, but I've been really wary to even broach the subject with her since the last time.

Have you told her how you feel when she starts yelling?

[Nature-Spirits]

I've been thinking about it, but the last time I even brought up the subject of transition she started crying and yelling. I'm not eager to repeat that. It's... very difficult to explain how I feel when she won't stop telling me about all the discrimination I'll face and insisting that it would be better for me to just live as a man and "cross dress" at home.

Admittedly, the last time we had a screaming match like that was a few months ago, but I've been really wary to even broach the subject with her since the last time.

Have you told her how you feel when she starts yelling?

It usually devolves into a two-way screaming match, to be honest. We generally have a good relationship, but we're both very receptive to each others' emotions, so when one of us gets upset, the other usually gets upset too, and our collective negativity builds on itself. We're also both pretty passive-aggressive, and we know just what to say to be super cruel to each other, so there's that.

Short answer: My replies to her yelling generally consist of yelling.

[Bralia]

Have you told her how you feel when she starts yelling?

It usually devolves into a two-way screaming match, to be honest. We generally have a good relationship, but we're both very receptive to each others' emotions, so when one of us gets upset, the other usually gets upset too, and our collective negativity builds on itself. We're also both pretty passive-aggressive, and we know just what to say to be super cruel to each other, so there's that.

Short answer: My replies to her yelling generally consist of yelling.

Is a non-yelling match something you want? Maybe set some pre-conditions on how the both of you should handle yourselves before jumping into a potentially heated conversation?

[Nature-Spirits]

It usually devolves into a two-way screaming match, to be honest. We generally have a good relationship, but we're both very receptive to each others' emotions, so when one of us gets upset, the other usually gets upset too, and our collective negativity builds on itself. We're also both pretty passive-aggressive, and we know just what to say to be super cruel to each other, so there's that.

Short answer: My replies to her yelling generally consist of yelling.

Is a non-yelling match something you want? Maybe set some pre-conditions on how the both of you should handle yourselves before jumping into a potentially heated conversation?

It's... not that simple, frankly. We've gotten into hour-long fights over really small, stupid, petty shit. We're working on it, but it's difficult for both of us to rein our emotions in enough to calm down sufficiently.

[Idzequitch]

Okay.

What.

The.

Fuck.

I thought my mom was starting to understand. She's been calling me her child instead of her son, she respects that I have a more feminine gender expression, she lets me have women's clothing.

But tonight, while we were watching Sense8 (great show, by the way), which of course has a character who's a trans woman, she asked me, "Do you want to be a girl?"

I paused what I was doing. I glanced away as I said, "No." It's true, after all: I don't identify as female, and I don't want to transition to a fully female role.

"So you feel okay?" she asked. "So you're okay being and living as a boy?" was the implication.

"No," I said again. That, too, is true: I've been feeling really dysphoric lately, and the need to transition weighs me down every day. There are days when I don't even want to go out the door, because not only is high school the most banal thing and its dullness just makes me depressed, but I feel like I can't be me, and I just want to lie down and cry and stay home and put on a skirt. More than that, though, I want to wear that skirt -- and anything else I want -- out into the world, and I want to be recognised as my true gender, and I want to hear people casually refer to me as "they", and I want to be able to use whatever bathroom I feel like, and I want to live as me.

Depression, anxiety, and dysphoria. What a joyous combination. I really do need to make another appointment with my shrink.

Anyway. I just.... I thought my mom was starting to understand. But I need to have a conversation with her about what I need to do. And you know what's ironic? Not too long after, she told me that I'm "courageous". I don't feel courageous. I guess it takes courage to live as a feminine man in a society where feminine men are scorned -- I've experienced the homophobia that comes with that, and it's hard to take. But I feel like a coward, because I'm too afraid to transition right away. I mean, I stand by my decision to wait until I graduate -- living as non-binary in high school would just be too difficult -- but it's because I've determined it's too difficult that I feel like a coward.

*sigh*

Please forgive my ignorance, I ask this out of genuine curiosity: How does one transition as a non-binary? What would you be transitioning to, and what does that entail?

[Val Halla]

You live as how you feel. I live as how I was born. And I'm not an adult either

Wrong. I live as a man. I'm open about my sexual orientation, and I'm open about certain aspects of my gender expression, but my gender identity is known to very few people. Living as a feminine gay man is not the same as living as the genderfluid person that I am.

And I'm not an adult either, technically. I'm still 17.

I don't want to get over weight

What have I told you about that? You're not gonna get fat. I used to have issues with my body, too (issues unrelated to dysphoria, that is). I thought I was fat. I counted my calories with an app. It was all bullshit. I was never in danger of becoming overweight. Neither are you.

Man, I do love styling my hair.

Me too. I'm trying to grow my hair out to elbow-length so I can do more stuff with it (and also because I just like having long hair -- except for the times when I want to cut it all off, anyways), but I recently figured out that most of the hair products I use have sulfates and/or parabens in them, which damage hair. Dx I never did like the way that shampoo made my hair feel....

I have little to no control over my diet

Well, you could eat. I understand that you often don't feel like eating, but for god's sake, you're starving yourself. That's not healthy.

You have the ability to though. Even in private you still do.

Im healthy. I'm not really starving myself, I just skip meals sometimes. Can't eat something if my body turns it down

[Vassenor]

Need to stop getting depressed every time someone talks about how easy coming out has been for them.

[The Serbian Empire]

Need to stop getting depressed every time someone talks about how easy coming out has been for them.

And it may have seemed easy for me, but in reality it took about eight years of healing old psychological wounds to come out.

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

True, but I think that may be the main reason for the age restriction.

I have gotten lightheaded from using it for extended periods of time.

But really I'm just one of those little plastic horse people that's crazy enough to make saddles and bridles and halters and other things that most of you won't even have heard of, let alone have any idea what they're used for.

I've rode horses, so I've heard of all that.

[Renewed Imperial Germany]

Need to stop getting depressed every time someone talks about how easy coming out has been for them.

I'm just going to write my parents a letter and (probably) never see/talk to them again.