Can booze fix the American South's problems?

[Nazi Flower Power]

Heil NSG!

Earlier today, I came across this article about the drinking habits of various US states. It's somewhat silly, but it got me thinking...

Apparently, the North is into booze more than the South. Southerners, feel free to quote this if anyone stereotypes you as drunks. I'll also back you up if anyone rags on you about your hygiene. Northerners are less likely to bathe or shower every day. This is probably because people sweat less in colder climates and don't want to dry out their skin in the winter, but feel free to bring it up if anyone makes disparaging comments about "dirty" Southerners.

There are very few subjects where I will defend the South and say that negative stereotypes are not accurate. In fact, these two -- drinking habits and hygiene -- are the only two I can think of off the top of my head. I think the South is very fucked up, and that got me wondering if it is really a good thing that they drink less. A lot of the things I dislike about the South come from Southerners having irrational fears. People are afraid of terrorists, afraid of being overrun by illegal immigrants, afraid of black guys, afraid of change, afraid of the federal government... Not every individual Southerner has every one of these fears, but paranoia is a recurring theme behind a lot of Southern attitudes. I can't help but wonder if drinking more would help to calm their nerves so they can stop overreacting to minor threats (e.g. Saddam Hussein) and stop feeling threatened by things that aren't actually dangerous (e.g. gay marriage). They say alcohol doesn't solve your problems, but I think that depends on the type of problem you are trying to solve. Drinking a little is a good way to relax.

So what do you think, NSG? Would it make the South a better place if they drank more? For those of you who do not share my preference for the North, do you think the North would be a better place if we drank less? Does it surprise you that the North and West are "boozier" than the South?

[Deusaeuri]

Firstly, prove the paranoia thing. Secondly, correlation does not equal causation. Just because the north drinks more is meaningless.
And Saddam Hussein was not a minor threat. He invaded Kuwait.

[Geilinor]

The West Coast has wine, no wonder we're so cool.

[Soviet Haaregrad]

Firstly, prove the paranoia thing. Secondly, correlation does not equal causation. Just because the north drinks more is meaningless.
And Saddam Hussein was not a minor threat. He invaded Kuwait.

Yes. And after his ass was curb stomped and economic sanctions were in place he was a minor threat.

[Deusaeuri]

Firstly, prove the paranoia thing. Secondly, correlation does not equal causation. Just because the north drinks more is meaningless.
And Saddam Hussein was not a minor threat. He invaded Kuwait.

Yes. And after his ass was curb stomped and economic sanctions were in place he was a minor threat.

Well yea, but there was reason to worry immediately. Afterwards, yea. The real threat came from extremist militants who took advantage of the situation.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I mean the South drinks less than the North.

That doesn't mean some of us don't lack the will to actually try and become alcoholics if there was a relation between booze and achievement or that we're not drunkards out of lack of trying...

[Soviet Haaregrad]

Yes. And after his ass was curb stomped and economic sanctions were in place he was a minor threat.

Well yea, but there was reason to worry immediately. Afterwards, yea. The real threat came from extremist militants who took advantage of the situation.

There was reason to worry in the early 90s, and not since. The extremist militants were enabled by removing Saddam. At the very least it should have been their blood spilled removing Saddam. He wasn't America's or the west's problem.

Anyways, enough hijacking...

[Nazi Flower Power]

Firstly, prove the paranoia thing.

I gave examples.

Secondly, correlation does not equal causation. Just because the north drinks more is meaningless.

OK. I don't have actual proof that drinking habits are the cause of the other differences. I do think it's possible, but it's a hypothesis, not a proven fact. You can have your own hypothesis if you want.

And Saddam Hussein was not a minor threat. He invaded Kuwait.

At the time of our invasion in 2003, he was a minor threat and the invasion was not needed.

[Conserative Morality]

I think booze consumption is more a symptom of a reasonable situation, rather than a cause of it.

[Nazi Flower Power]

I mean the South drinks less than the North.

That doesn't mean some of us don't lack the will to actually try and become alcoholics if there was a relation between booze and achievement or that we're not drunkards out of lack of trying...

Well, you're in one of the few Southern states that actually drinks.

[Solorni]

Hey, I watched the show Dukes of Hazzard... more alcohol didn't seem to them much good

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I mean the South drinks less than the North.

That doesn't mean some of us don't lack the will to actually try and become alcoholics if there was a relation between booze and achievement or that we're not drunkards out of lack of trying...

Well, you're in one of the few Southern states that actually drinks.

That is true, and Dallas is a blue county that's "wet"

[Southern Arkansas]

No. Minding your own business might.

[The Grim Reaper]

This is a bizarre, disjointed OP.

We need more people like you around.

[Coreyea]

No, it created them in the first place.

[Solorni]

No. Minding your own business might.

Idk, I seem to recall intervention was needed in the past with slavery and later segregation. Could you imagine if we let the south mind its own business?

[Southern Arkansas]

No. Minding your own business might.

Idk, I seem to recall intervention was needed in the past with slavery and later segregation. Could you imagine if we let the south mind its own business?

We could be 99% Southern Baptist if it wasn't for meddling.

[Solorni]

Idk, I seem to recall intervention was needed in the past with slavery and later segregation. Could you imagine if we let the south mind its own business?

We could be 99% Southern Baptist if it wasn't for meddling.

If those are the same baptists who rent our pool for baptisms, they are pretty darn cool.

[Nazi Flower Power]

No. Minding your own business might.

OK, I will not pour vodka down your throat. I will stick to making foie gras when I have the urge to force-feed something/someone.

[Nazi Flower Power]

No, it created them in the first place.

That seems highly unlikely. What gives you that idea?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

No. Minding your own business might.

OK, I will not pour vodka down your throat. I will stick to making foie gras when I have the urge to force-feed something/someone.

For a second I read "I will pour Vodka down your throat".

I was going to go "really?! Why don't you just give it to me instead of wasting it?"

[Solorni]

That's what I read too! Definately too tired.

[Nazi Flower Power]

Idk, I seem to recall intervention was needed in the past with slavery and later segregation. Could you imagine if we let the south mind its own business?

We could be 99% Southern Baptist if it wasn't for meddling.

Oh God!

I'm just going to hide under my desk with a bottle of Jaegermeister and try to get that thought out of my mind...

[Deva Shri Cat]

I don't know about booze but I do know a general "just relax" attitude would do the South a world of good.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

99% Southern Baptists?

That's it, I'm getting my bottle of tequila and drinking shots.