Polyamory Thread: I Love You All!

[Manisdog]

Such a thing would be a breeding ground promiscuity, I mean imagine what would happen we would be creating like a generation of sluts like what happened in the 1960's, if anything we need enforce that such kind of relationships are not socially acceptable

Who gets to determine what is socially acceptable?

society does, the norms, traditions and cultures of a society, and the beliefs of majority of the populace

[Threlizdun]

Polygamy is bad.

Polygamy is institutional.

Most of consensual non-monogamy is about the same of having friends, just with more cuddle-ish elements to it.

I wouldn't say that exactly. Friendship is a part of it, but I would certainly say having a girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship is different than just a friend.

I, for one, actually take part in a polygamous relationship as well. My partner dates two others, my girlfriends dates someone else, and my other partner and I are happy as well. I am not particular to any gender myself, but more to multiples of people at a time. I'm glad there is a thread devoted to this at to discuss the topic.

Cool, and welcome to NSG!

Polygamy is bad.

M'kay.

No

I'm disappointed. Sounds like fun though. Not having to worry about the whole "cheating" aspect of a relationship when you can go around having relationships with others.

Why aren't all relationships like this?

It depends on what you and your partner or partners have agreed on. Having a relationship with one person certainly doesn't mean that you then must have a relations up with their partner, so sex with their partner is certainly not a given. Like any relationship, sex depends on whether or not those involved are interested. There are asexual polyamorous relationships and hypersexual ones. In regards to if you have sex with people outside the relationship, that again depends on what you have agreed to. My partner and I both agree we have no problem with it, but we aren't everyone.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Polygamy is institutional.

Most of consensual non-monogamy is about the same of having friends, just with more cuddle-ish elements to it.

I wouldn't say that exactly. Friendship is a part of it, but I would certainly say having a girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship is different than just a friend.

Ah, I forgot to add that that's only my view. I don't really have a different set of sentiment for friendship and romance, so to me it makes little sense to me why people discriminate their standards between one and the other so much.

Of course this is probably very different from the viewpoint of alloromantic people (i.e. those who aren't on the aromantic spectrum).

[Costa Fierro]

It depends on what you and your partner or partners have agreed on.

I've never been in a relationship before. I'm just basically guessing as to what I'd be comfortable with.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

It depends on what you and your partner or partners have agreed on.

I've never been in a relationship before. I'm just basically guessing as to what I'd be comfortable with.

You too?

[Manisdog]

just one small question nsg, How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend sleeps with 30 other men ?

[Land and Freedom]

While I'm more than capable of having feelings for a number of women, I'm usually not comfortable when they do the same. If you know what I mean.

On an intimate emotional level or because you believe it ridicules the bond or you as a person? Or both?

I haven't given it as much thought as I might have to be honest. I know it's something to do with jealousy though. Whether that's a symptom of biology or this patriarchal society, I don't know.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

just one small question nsg, How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend sleeps with 30 other men ?

I'd love someone so experienced and mature to teach me how to do it alright and play it safe.

[Land and Freedom]

Such a thing would be a breeding ground promiscuity, I mean imagine what would happen we would be creating like a generation of sluts like what happened in the 1960's, if anything we need enforce that such kind of relationships are not socially acceptable

A generation of sluts?

Watch your tongue mate, most of our mothers were born in the sixties.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I haven't given it as much thought as I might have to be honest. I know it's something to do with jealousy though. Whether that's a symptom of biology or this patriarchal society, I don't know.

It's always both.

Psyche = nature + nurture

Of course, often one aspect might influence you more strongly than the other. And it might be fully unconscious.

[Threlizdun]

Such a thing would be a breeding ground promiscuity, I mean imagine what would happen we would be creating like a generation of sluts like what happened in the 1960's, if anything we need enforce that such kind of relationships are not socially acceptable

No, there can be sex very often or there can be no sex at all. Everyone approaches sex differently. Polyamory just means you are romantically involved with more than one person. Sex with more than one person is possible, but not a given. Also, I fail to see how people having more sex would be a problem so long as everything is consensual.

Polyamory does not necessarily involve polygamy, but why would polygamy be bad?

I don't like thinking of what might arise as we mix polygamy and patriarchal societies, Liz.

But otherwise, sure.

I doubt these are Narnia's reasons, though.

The poly scene in general doesn't tend to tolerate sexism, so I wouldn't say it's as big of a problem as you believe it would be. Plus, nothing says it has to be a hetero marriage.

[Land and Freedom]

just one small question nsg, How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend sleeps with 30 other men ?

I know she'd have a few tricks to teach me.

[Manisdog]

just one small question nsg, How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend sleeps with 30 other men ?

I'd love someone so experienced and mature to teach me how to do it alright and play it safe.

I knew this girl once lets just call x, I can bet that half the city knew her, she pretty much slept with everyone, today she works in some church

[Land and Freedom]

I haven't given it as much thought as I might have to be honest. I know it's something to do with jealousy though. Whether that's a symptom of biology or this patriarchal society, I don't know.

It's always both.

Psyche = nature + nurture

Of course, often one aspect might influence you more strongly than the other. And it might be fully unconscious.

It's totally unconscious I'd say. This would be one of the few times that I've considered it critically. NSG does have its merits.

[Land and Freedom]

I'd love someone so experienced and mature to teach me how to do it alright and play it safe.

I knew this girl once lets just call x, I can bet that half the city knew her, she pretty much slept with everyone, today she works in some church

Good on her.

[Costa Fierro]

I've never been in a relationship before. I'm just basically guessing as to what I'd be comfortable with.

You too?

I guess. Having a mental condition that basically render's one's perception of a human's body language useless really hasn't helped.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

The poly scene in general doesn't tend to tolerate sexism, so I wouldn't say it's as big of a problem as you believe it would be. Plus, nothing says it has to be a hetero marriage.

Oh, I meant more the religious kind, and those of societies that never abolished it to start with. What, coming to think of it again, is kinda culturally insensitive.

[Land and Freedom]

Polyamory does not necessarily involve polygamy, but why would polygamy be bad?

I don't like thinking of what might arise as we mix polygamy and patriarchal societies, Liz.

But otherwise, sure.

I doubt these are Narnia's reasons, though.

This is a good point. Many progressive political movements in the third world have advocated the banning of polygamy, because in the framework of these patriarchal societies, women become commodified.

[Dukats]

Lucky her.

[Threlizdun]

I wouldn't say that exactly. Friendship is a part of it, but I would certainly say having a girlfriend in a polyamorous relationship is different than just a friend.

Ah, I forgot to add that that's only my view. I don't really have a different set of sentiment for friendship and romance, so to me it makes little sense to me why people discriminate their standards between one and the other so much.

Of course this is probably very different from the viewpoint of alloromantic people (i.e. those who aren't on the aromantic spectrum).

I can understand how it would be hard to describe for aromantic or gray aromantic individuals. But no, while it has elements of friendship, it's very different.

It depends on what you and your partner or partners have agreed on.

I've never been in a relationship before. I'm just basically guessing as to what I'd be comfortable with.

You never know until you enter one, but if you feel like you likely would be interested in a polyamorous relationship then it seems probable that you would be comfortable with it. I thought I would be, but didn't get to determine for certain until I entered one.

just one small question nsg, How would you feel if your wife/girlfriend sleeps with 30 other men ?

As long as it was consensual and she had fun, I'd be happy she's enjoying herself.

[Olthar]

No. I don't care to go into the details, but my childhood has left me with abandonment issues and way too much insecurity. If someone ever agrees to date me (an unlikely occurrence), she would have to be a one woman girl. If she ever cheated on me, I'd probably snap and attempt suicide. I absolutely would not be able to handle polyamory. It would destroy me.

[Corrian]

You know such a thing would just break the very moral fabric of society, you know society asks to adhere to very basic and very minimum things like the roles each gender has to play and such an arrangement would just ruin society

I don't give a shit about the moral fabric of society, even if it did somehow possibly break the fabric of society. And also screw society asking for people to adhere to specific gender roles. That's also a bunch of crap that needs to change.

Changing such an arrangement would IMPROVE society as far as I'm concerned, because the state of gender roles in society is exactly one of the problems with society right now.

[Threlizdun]

The poly scene in general doesn't tend to tolerate sexism, so I wouldn't say it's as big of a problem as you believe it would be. Plus, nothing says it has to be a hetero marriage.

Oh, I meant more the religious kind, and those of societies that never abolished it to start with. What, coming to think of it again, is kinda culturally insensitive.

Is polygamy in a sexist nation really that much worse than monogamy in a sexist nation? The problem's clearly sexism rather than polygamy, so I don't see it making the problem any worse.

I don't like thinking of what might arise as we mix polygamy and patriarchal societies, Liz.

But otherwise, sure.

I doubt these are Narnia's reasons, though.

This is a good point. Many progressive political movements in the third world have advocated the banning of polygamy, because in the framework of these patriarchal societies, women become commodified.

It could be argued marriage in general commodifies people. I'm honestly uncomfortable with monogamy because saying someone belongs to me and is mine alone feels like objectification and ownership. I know that isn't what it actually is and that monogamous people can fully respect each other, but it's just not something I'm comfortable with.

No. I don't care to go into the details, but my childhood has left me with abandonment issues and way too much insecurity. If someone ever agrees to date me (an unlikely occurrence), she would have to be a one woman girl. If she ever cheated on me, I'd probably snap and attempt suicide. I absolutely would not be able to handle polyamory. It would destroy me.

I'm sorry you've had to deal with that. Please don't sell yourself short though. Anyone would be lucky to have our Lesbian Queen.

[Vvarden]

no, just no

This is the same guy who insults Australia. Don't listen to him.

[Republic of Coldwater]

I am pretty neutral when it comes to the law, and individual institutions for marriage should decide whether they will allow or disallow polygamy. Personally, I wouldn't want to enter a relationship with two people, and it baffles me on how a romantic relationship with more than one person works and how it is sustained.