An NS Runup General Election

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

I have a preposition for NS, we debate issues, tear politicians to pieces, and happily rattle of economic and political theory; we are the cream of the crop of internet society, the biggest, the brightest and of course most dashingly good looking.

Our ego's are also correspondingly astronomical in proportions.

As such, the question is, could we cut it as the actual President of the United States of America? Could we do a better job than Gordon Brown (silly question really)? And could we resolve the recession of today?

Well, why don't we take a look and find out?

Do you think that you could stand up in front of the rowdy rablles of NS and offer political freedom, national security, and cookies, in a real life setting? Do you think that you couldn't do it, but would happily follow someone else? If so, who are they?

This is an idea, an experiment if you will. A chance for us to line up the best and brightest (or most popular) NS'ers, and see who would be deemed the best for such a position as Lord President General Minister, or maybe part of the reward if your elected is that you can devise your own title, who knows.

If you think you'd like to nminate yourself (per the massive ego syndrome on here) or would like to offer up someone else then please do so as such:

Name of Candidate:
Reason for Nominating Candidate:

And later on we shall give the chance for each candidate to present their solution to a proposed imaginary issue which will be devised and then presented to the public, and then they have a short while to defend such a stance agaisnt the ravenous hordes of NS. Following that we will elect who you think was the best of the bunch.

Please note that if you nominate someone it would be wise to telegram them so they know you have done so, we can't rope people into this after all.

Ultimatly this is a rather twisty experiment, to see if we can practice what we preach so to speak; if this has been done before i'm sorry, if not, then let's hope it's interesting, but we'll need your input and attention to do so.

Well, without further ado, get nominating chaps, i'll just sit here and update-

THE LIST

EvilDarkMagicians
Old Tyrannia
Buffett And Colbert
Melkor Unchained
Parkus Empires

[EvilDarkMagicians]

I nominate myself.
My policies will be as follows:

Healthy Drinking

Health Matters: show by example.
To stop young people's excessive drinking and having a good time the politicians should convert all their 30 or 40 bars at Westminster into milk bars. Their restaurants should be converted into salad bars to show solidarity with school children, how to improve their health and fitness.

Shout it out
The speaker in the house of commons will be replaced by the latest audio equipment

Balanced View
All politicians should be made to stand continually on one leg while making speeches to check how balanced their arguments are. It should also reduce political flatulence and soothe the listeners ears

PeacePlan
To help the Israel/palestine problems, we should get rid of the old fashioned road map, and give them a sat nav instead.

Purple Haze
It is proposed the party adopts the Paint It Purple Policy(PIPP) In order to solve the problem of depressed areas,unemployment and youth disaffection, Every third building in the country should be painted purple. There'll be lots of jobs created either making purple paint, or doing the painting, these jobs can be done by young people, who'll be too busy washing purple paint off themselves to get into trouble.

Beat Them at their own game
It is proposed that the government should set up a terrorist training camp and that all prospective suicide bombers should have to blow themselves up as there final licensing test, with points added for mass destruction of the test range, but deducted for survival. this would undoubtedly reduce acts of terror.

Ex pat proposal
On a recent visit back to Blighty, I was concerned to hear of Labour's financial contrubutions scandal (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Donorgate). Knowing the Monster Raving Loony Party would never accept "under the table" donations, I propose a strictly "on top of the table" alternative, to be delivered in manilla envelopes to all Labour Party offices... The DonorGate Commemorative Cookie - brown on the outside, flakey on the inside, and sprinkled with nuts.
If you wanted to further feed general public interest, you would "knead" millions... The first batch could be of, say, 548,850, the next 320,000, and so forth. While unable to match Labour's foreign receipts, each of us ex-patriot Brits could then send you a big batch of cookie dough, roughly moulded into the shape of the countries in which we presently reside. This would provide your party with its fair share of offshore "dodgy dough nations"....

Politicians are Shocked
Politicians to be fitted with electric shock collars, the type used to stop dogs barking, and shocked every time they lie.

And The Winners of Next weeks Lottery Are?
Psychics should be made to prove themselves by winning both the National Lottery and the Euromillions, having correctly predicted the winning numbers.

Never mind the money
Every year the Prime Minister should be tarred and feathered, this will make the job much less appealing and will hopefully lead to short term office for power-hungry PMs.

Monarchy
A lot of people believe that we should no longer have a Monarchy as they serve no purpose. However the Monarchy through tourism bring alot of money to Britain. It is proposed that we hold a jousting competion, with the winner becoming Monarch for the year. Reprint the coins with a picture of a knight joustin on them. We would never have to reprint the coins from then on and at least people would feel the then current Monarch earned thier position. Keeping the Monarchy would allow us still to reap the benifits of tourism.

Football
All football team's should wear the same coloured shirts , shorts and boots , wear big red noses and bright green wigs, as this will lead to a more exciting and interesting game.

Immigration
i) The government's plans on restricting immigration does not go far enough. To fully protect our nation's values, we should ensure nobody can get into Britain at all. We shall burn all airports & harbours, establish anti-aircraft guns and sea mines across every inch of coast, and erect a vast forcefield around Great Britain.
ii) Anyone who is abroad shall only be let back in after 40 days of quarantine, where they will be made to listen to the national anthem 24/7 to prevent any contamination by foreign thinking.

University Fees
It is proposed to raise the cost of an university education to the point where nobody can afford to go, thus ending the scourge of drunk students.

Fishy Sounding
All tins of tuna to be sold with a FREE peg or a gas mask for the higher quality tuna.

A drink in your Honour
There should be two plaques in every pub, one to Alan "Howlin Laud" Hope and one to Screamin Lord Sutch, possibly the greatest man who ever lived (sent in by wijajo)

Livestock Buffet
Why not rear cattle in restaurants? There will no need to distribute meat all over the country creating pollution and kids will have fun petting the fat cows and snorting pigs.

The OAP jetset.
It is proposed to supply jetpacks for the elderly. This way they don't block the pavements and roads with those slow little machines that they have. This will reduce congestion so will be good for the environment. The elderly may have more fun in their life, more fun than bingo, and as there are no cars in the sky it will be much safer. Soon everyone will want jetpacks and the world will be a better place.

This one was sent in by Garry. Personally we think this policy is a sticky proposition.
I think MRLP should table a motion for the preservation of Hot Treacle Pudding. That this great British delicacy should remain on our shop shelves and in our restaurants. Moreover the public should even be allowed to bath in it, if they so desire, but not in hot water but tepid deluxe thick creamy custard. I also insist that the European commune be converted to Hot Treacle pudding by August 2013.

Commas with dots
Semicolons should be banned; No-one knows when to use one anyway.

Transport Politicians to Hospital
Politicians will be made to use public transport, this will have many benefits, the saved money could be invested into hospitals, which could then be used to treat said politicians after having used said public transport.

Political Mascots
During an election campaign, all political partes in the UK must spend at least 1% of their expenses on the maintenance and upkeep of a mascot and costume. This would serve to boost popularity in voting and encourage more
public participation in politics.

[The Tofu Islands]

<snippity>
Commas with dots
Semicolons should be banned; No-one knows when to use one anyway.
<snip snip>

I know when to use them. At the end of a line in C, part way through a line in Ruby, and at the beginning of a line in Scheme.

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

Well EvilDarkMagicians, who can argue with a campaign platform like that? Would provide an excellent morale boost for a nation in the case of a proposed terrorist attack scenario.

[Daistallia 2104]

Seeing as your quite new, you may not be aware that NSG is a parliamentary system. The last call for parliamentary elections didn't go over.

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

Seeing as your quite new, you may not be aware that NSG is a parliamentary system. The last call for parliamentary elections didn't go over.

How interesting. This is however more of an experiment however, given that people won't be judged (I hope) on how well known or popular they are, but rather on how well they can come up with solutions, and defend them against NS debaters, to a scenario that is placed before them; with each NS character presuming they are a citizen of an imaginary nation (General Land perhaps) and deciding if they'd want said perspn running the nation.

[Old Tyrannia]

I wish to run for election. My policies are as follows;

-Free cookies!
-Free wine!
-Spamming should be punishable by death
-NationStates should begin conquring neighbouring sites to build a massive NS Empire spanning the entire web!
-Did I mention free cookies?
-I would form a cabinet to help me rule, consisting of a few people of my choice
-I would adopt the title 'Lord President General, First Citizen of NSG, Commander-in-Chief of the NS Army'.
-Anyone who voted for me would automatically get a noble title like 'Lord' or 'Count' and a free cookie.
-All drugs except alchohol should be illegal
-Suicide bombings should be punishable by death
-NS should have an army of at least two hundred
-All soldiers in the NS Army should be loyal to the Site, and a strict hierarchy, with the highest rank being 'Stuck-Up Pompous General' and the lowest 'Cannnonfoder'.
-Not liking chocolate should be punishable by death.
-Nazism should be punishable by death
-Communism should be punishable by death
-Fascism should be punishable by death
-Moderatism is the only way forward! DEATH TO THE EXTREMISTS!
-The Forum 7 Union of Grammar Nazis should be allowed to establish a branch in NSG, but they should then be executed as Nazism is punishable by death
-Disputes should be settle by the method of 'Rock, Paper Scissors'.

[Buffett and Colbert]

I wish to nominate myeslf.

My policies are:

Social Democracy ftw
Death penalty fails
NS should take over other forum sites (It would be epic...)
Current law is tl;dr. Just do what I say.

That's about it.

[Kamsaki]

...
NS should take over other forum sites (It would be epic...)

Turn NSG into an invasion board? Are you mad, boi?

You'd better be, because I second this nomination. For teh lulz, obviously.

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

*rubs temple*

Perhaps I should employ a measure to see if we can get any semi-serious nominations in.

Maybe making Multiple Personality Disorder preferential for nominees or something...

[Call to power]

you dare to challenge the democratically elected New British Imperialist Parties control of the worlds nerd reserves!

[Flameswroth]

I have a preposition for NS...

Ooh! Can it be 'regarding'? I've always thought longer prepositions were more interesting than the typical ones like 'of' or 'for'.

[Kamsaki]

Ooh! Can it be 'regarding'? I've always thought longer prepositions were more interesting than the typical ones like 'of' or 'for'.

'Vis-a-vis' is clearly the queen of prepositions.

[Flameswroth]

Ooh! Can it be 'regarding'? I've always thought longer prepositions were more interesting than the typical ones like 'of' or 'for'.

'Vis-a-vis' is clearly the queen of prepositions.

You don't elect royalty, silly! So 'vis-a-vis' is out of the running, because it's already queen

[Melkor Unchained]

I'll bite, but I"m not exactly going for "President," if you know what I mean

Domestic policy: Dissolve Congress. Temporarily suspend and review the entire federal judiciary. Drastically rewrite the Constitution to make it a more thorough and consistent document for the governance of 3.8 million square miles; create new Congress and Judiciary. Legalize drugs, close probably 2/3 of our military bases abroad and consolidate our medical programs. Get rid of the Department of Homeland Security and possibly the Departments of Energy and Education. Establish objective but flexible values for vital necessities such as housing and utilities. Bitch-slap unemployment by allowing employers to add the replacement cost of a benefits package into the worker's wage. Abolish the income tax if the budget allows.

Foreign Policy: Tell everyone to solve their own goddamn problems (for the most part) until I croak. Focus on wealth production and pay down our foreign debt in the process.

[The Parkus Empire]

If elected, I will stage a coup and install myself as permanent ruler, and I will repeal indecent exposure laws.

Any votes?

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

you dare to challenge the democratically elected New British Imperialist Parties control of the worlds nerd reserves!

Why yes, I do dare to do as I dare to do.

Melkor Unchained, i'll add you to the list, hurrah for a sensibility based manifesto. I wonder if perhaps the position of Mayor in this experiment should be opened up for this for those with a more Boris Johnson public inept appealing nature regarding policies...

The Parkus Empire, well why not eh?

[Maurepas]

Well, I suppose the World Assembly does get alot more done than the UN, so, I dont see why not...

[Parthenon]

I wouldnt mind being running mates with Melkor

[Fartsniffage]

Why yes, I do dare to do as I dare to do.

You do realise that we have gunboats don't you?

As minister for foreign affairs I can send them to hunt you down.

[My 3rd Floor Flat]

I wouldnt mind being running mates with Melkor

If he says yes i'll sign you two up together You can present a joint symposium on the state of affairs ^^

Why yes, I do dare to do as I dare to do.

You do realise that we have gunboats don't you?

As minister for foreign affairs I can send them to hunt you down.

I have never even heard of your institution before today! I demand to see a thread relating to your organisations nature before further steps are taken in this inter-governance affair.

[Zeppy]

Glory goes the Rhodmhire.

We're strictly for insanity, and we are composed of the Internazi Party--dedicated to the eradication of all that stands in the way of the Internet's pursuit of omnipotence and benevolence.

1. Annihilate any human being/organism that does not work for or allow for the progression of the pursuit of the Internet.
2. Annihilate any human being/organism that cannot properly function on the Internet for elongated intervals of time.
3. Demolish and eradicate all members, figureheads, and supporters of sooociiiety.
4. Stiffle and congest all attempts to rebuild or feasible actions to inevitably reconstruct a sooociiiety.
5. Build a stable platform for the New Ecosystem.
6. Hook up all Military equipment directly to the Internet via cables and long-ass extension cords.
7. Demand all living be done in the confines of heavily secure basements.
8. Replace items of food with the following dietary lifestye:

-Redbull.
-Pizza.
-Chicken wings.
-Various carbonated beverages.
-Fast food.
-Tacos.
-Cookies.
9. Replace all currency with small laptops and/or cookies.
10. Insert compulsary Internet education classes into the school curriculum, including:

-Internet History.
-Basic Internet Mathematics.
-Basic and Extensive Internet Theory.
-Internet Law.
-Memeology.
-Forum Sociology & Anti-Sooociiiology

Everything and anything for the pursuit.