North Korea Megathread

[Imperializt Russia]

Inbreeding will do that to you.

What inbreeding? There was no familial relation between Kim Jong-Il and Ko Yong-Hui.

I think it's just a monarchy joke.

[Estenia]

Oh, please let this be a military coup. Please, please let this be a military coup.

I say that because, while military coups usually end up in dictatorship oligarchy's, anything is better than the Kim dynasty.

The Kardashian dynasty? The Duck dynasty?

Wait, Kardashians were a dynasty?

[Imperializt Russia]

Media dynasty ofc.

[Estenia]

Media dynasty ofc.

Being hated by people dynasty would be better.

[Great Confederacy of Commonwealth States]

The Kardashian dynasty? The Duck dynasty?

Wait, Kardashians were a dynasty?

Actually a stupid move. The Karaashians should have married Kim matrilineally to Kanye. Now the main title will go to the West Dynasty, at which point the Kardashians lose the game.

[Gauthier]

Wait, Kardashians were a dynasty?

Actually a stupid move. The Karaashians should have married Kim matrilineally to Kanye. Now the main title will go to the West Dynasty, at which point the Kardashians lose the game.

The baby will either grow up to be the ultimate attention whore, or become a recluse harder to find than Waldo.

[Prezelly]

Is it just me or is this source kind of shaky?

[Ashmoria]

Is it just me or is this source kind of shaky?

how could an article based on utter speculation be shaky?

[Shoemakers]

He was just working so hard for his people!

But jokes official information aside, I find it rather interesting how keen the media is to present him (and the entire country in general) as a funny caricature, whenever NK is in the news there is something more or less trivial like "he was so fat he...", "they made a propaganda film like this..." or "this is the iPad of North Korea" and the list goes on. Yes, the entire place is absurd and it's ironic that the leader has (probably) weight-induced health issues but the it still is a real country with ~23 million people living there.
Not that I didn't do NK jokes myself, but I thought it was writers who do parodies, not newspapers.

[Afro-Euasia]

How could this happen? He's the Dear Leader he has magical powers to have a long and healthy life. (Being the internet people are often confused whether comments like these are genuine or sarcastic because it's usually the same, in this case it's sarcasm.)

First thing i thought of after reading that post.

[Jordanistan]

Wait, ########## were a dynasty?

Actually a stupid move. The Karaashians should have married Kim matrilineally to Kanye. Now the main title will go to the West Dynasty, at which point the ########## lose the game.

[Bandwagon]

Why does Good Korea have to suffer.
Bad Korea should suffer.

[Tiberian Destiny]

A little unlikely as the sole cause from a medical standpoint - in terms of weight alone, he looks nowhere near what it takes to shatter bones. However, given other medical conditions or unfortunate leverage points, it could surely have happened. Both ankles being affected tells us that maybe an accident of some sort was involved?

[Arumdaum]

or maybe new elections for everyone since sk's president rn is sorta shitty

Please do tell.

she is conservative and authoritarian ;(

[Arumdaum]

Please do tell.

I main problem with Park is that she had the NIS tamper with the votes in the 2012 election to help her win. Although we do not have any definitive proof there is any sort of tampering. Had the police announced honestly then almost 14 percent of South Koreans would have voted for the runner up, making him win. But I digress. While I do think reunification should be their ultimate goal I strongly think that it should be a very slow integration process where NK is slowly brought up to speed from the DMZ north.

Integration will be easiest in large cities such as Pyeongyang and Gaeseong. Pyeongyang will be especially easy due to the relative wealth of its inhabitants. Actually, Gaeseong too, considering its proximity to Seoul.

[Kelinfort]

Please do tell.

she is conservative and authoritarian ;(

^
I never have been a fan of her or the Saenuri.

[Kernan]

I main problem with Park is that she had the NIS tamper with the votes in the 2012 election to help her win. Although we do not have any definitive proof there is any sort of tampering. Had the police announced honestly then almost 14 percent of South Koreans would have voted for the runner up, making him win. But I digress. While I do think reunification should be their ultimate goal I strongly think that it should be a very slow integration process where NK is slowly brought up to speed from the DMZ north.

Integration will be easiest in large cities such as Pyeongyang and Gaeseong. Pyeongyang will be especially easy due to the relative wealth of its inhabitants. Actually, Gaeseong too, considering its proximity to Seoul.

I would say Pyongyang is the most advanced of the North Korean cities and probably the easiest to bring up to speed. It would still take a butload of time and money to reverse the damage 69 years of brainwashing. Not to mention the die-hards that will violently resist the South Korean help.

[Cyrisnia]

Integration will be easiest in large cities such as Pyeongyang and Gaeseong. Pyeongyang will be especially easy due to the relative wealth of its inhabitants. Actually, Gaeseong too, considering its proximity to Seoul.

I would say Pyongyang is the most advanced of the North Korean cities and probably the easiest to bring up to speed. It would still take a butload of time and money to reverse the damage 69 years of brainwashing. Not to mention the die-hards that will violently resist the South Korean help.

ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(forgive me i had to)

[SaintB]

Is it just me or is this source kind of shaky?

how could an article based on utter speculation be shaky?

We base entire schools of thought and entire political movements off of utter speculation so why not the news.

[Kernan]

I would say Pyongyang is the most advanced of the North Korean cities and probably the easiest to bring up to speed. It would still take a butload of time and money to reverse the damage 69 years of brainwashing. Not to mention the die-hards that will violently resist the South Korean help.

ayyyyyyyyyyyyyyy
(forgive me i had to)

I giggled to, its all right

[Distruzio]

Kim Jong-Un is so fat, he had his name legally changed to Kim Jong-Deux.

"Such Dickery"

yes, we mean all fat people when we joke about KIM JONG FUCKIN UN.

Doesn't matter if you meant a single fat hamster.

Dickery is dickery.

[Distruzio]

What does that have to do with his weight? I mean, I'll readily admit to bigotry towards the overweight but even I can't bring myself to such dickery. No matter who it is.

he stuffs his face full of junk food while his people starve.

That'd be a reason to raise an eyebrow, sure. But... couldn't we say the same thing about President Obama? After all, he eats rather lavish meals while Americans starve.

his weight is (as far as we know) a direct result of his being a dictator/massive prick.

.... got it. The reason one should avoid being a massive cunt is because you could become fat. Yeah. That makes sense.

[Washington Resistance Army]

he stuffs his face full of junk food while his people starve.

That'd be a reason to raise an eyebrow, sure. But... couldn't we say the same thing about President Obama? After all, he eats rather lavish meals while Americans starve.

his weight is (as far as we know) a direct result of his being a dictator/massive prick.

.... got it. The reason one should avoid being a massive cunt is because you could become fat. Yeah. That makes sense.

This, ladies and gentlemen is a grade A post. Every world leader eats lavish meals while their people starve, it's not unique to Best Korea.

[Pandeeria]

What has happened to dictators? Dictators/Kings use to be badass Conquerers with nations spanning across millions upon millions of kilometers of land.

Now all they are doing is having their ankles break from their fatness and trying to sue Call of Duty.

[Alyakia]

he stuffs his face full of junk food while his people starve.

That'd be a reason to raise an eyebrow, sure. But... couldn't we say the same thing about President Obama? After all, he eats rather lavish meals while Americans starve.

his weight is (as far as we know) a direct result of his being a dictator/massive prick.

.... got it. The reason one should avoid being a massive cunt is because you could become fat. Yeah. That makes sense.

That'd be a reason to raise an eyebrow, sure. But... couldn't we say the same thing about President Obama? After all, he eats rather lavish meals while Americans starve.



.... got it. The reason one should avoid being a massive cunt is because you could become fat. Yeah. That makes sense.

This, ladies and gentlemen is a grade A post. Every world leader eats lavish meals while their people starve, it's not unique to Best Korea.

you're right. i am eating mud cookies right now. oh wait. most people aren't starving, and my entire family isn't at risk of being put in a camp for calling the dear leader fat and decadent? well would ya look at that.