Jewish Discussion Thread בְּ

[Ethel mermania]

Promised land is God's part of the bargin, so the land of Isreal is a focus of the religion. All those events if anything demonstrate the necessity of a safe homeland for the jews. And unfortunately trading Georgia and atlanta, for Isreal and jerusalam just isn't going to work for us.

I hear Oregon is nice.

To cold. Miami works for me, 3 grandparents and both parents died in southern florida, it's the other several million other Jews you have to convince. Besides I don't see the Cubans giving up litthe Havana any time soon.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

I hear Oregon is nice.

To cold. Miami works for me, 3 grandparents and both parents died in southern florida, it's the other several million other Jews you have to convince. Besides I don't see the Cubans giving up litthe Havana any time soon.

Maybe you don't need to convince them. If a whole bunch of Jews who are like, "Fuck this shit! We flipped the script when we lost the second Temple, let's flip it again!" And build the Third Temple on a nice site with plenty of parking and interstate access, I'll bet you that a sizeable chunk of Jews will accept it if reluctantly. After a few centuries, the rest will come around.

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

[Vazdaria]

To cold. Miami works for me, 3 grandparents and both parents died in southern florida, it's the other several million other Jews you have to convince. Besides I don't see the Cubans giving up litthe Havana any time soon.

Maybe you don't need to convince them. If a whole bunch of Jews who are like, "Fuck this shit! We flipped the script when we lost the second Temple, let's flip it again!" And build the Third Temple on a nice site with plenty of parking and interstate access, I'll bet you that a sizeable chunk of Jews will accept it if reluctantly. After a few centuries, the rest will come around.

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

I might just die if that actually happened.

[Ethel mermania]

To cold. Miami works for me, 3 grandparents and both parents died in southern florida, it's the other several million other Jews you have to convince. Besides I don't see the Cubans giving up litthe Havana any time soon.

Maybe you don't need to convince them. If a whole bunch of Jews who are like, "Fuck this shit! We flipped the script when we lost the second Temple, let's flip it again!" And build the Third Temple on a nice site with plenty of parking and interstate access, I'll bet you that a sizeable chunk of Jews will accept it if reluctantly. After a few centuries, the rest will come around.

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Or maybe we should just say fuckit, and stop being jews and just go to the gas chambers and make the burden on the world easier.

[The Tribe of Judah]

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Would be a better claimant than Jesus Christ I suppose.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Maybe you don't need to convince them. If a whole bunch of Jews who are like, "Fuck this shit! We flipped the script when we lost the second Temple, let's flip it again!" And build the Third Temple on a nice site with plenty of parking and interstate access, I'll bet you that a sizeable chunk of Jews will accept it if reluctantly. After a few centuries, the rest will come around.

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Or maybe we should just say fuckit, and stop being jews and just go to the gas chambers and make the burden on the world easier.

But then who is going to run my favorite delicatessen?

[The Tribe of Judah]

Maybe you don't need to convince them. If a whole bunch of Jews who are like, "Fuck this shit! We flipped the script when we lost the second Temple, let's flip it again!" And build the Third Temple on a nice site with plenty of parking and interstate access, I'll bet you that a sizeable chunk of Jews will accept it if reluctantly. After a few centuries, the rest will come around.

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Or maybe we should just say fuckit, and stop being jews and just go to the gas chambers and make the burden on the world easier.

Are you Jewish?

[Ethel mermania]

Or maybe we should just say fuckit, and stop being jews and just go to the gas chambers and make the burden on the world easier.

But then who is going to run my favorite delicatessen?

The people who run it now, the Mexicans

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Would be a better claimant than Jesus Christ I suppose.

I suspect that a lot of the issues since then were Paul's fault.

[Ethel mermania]

Or maybe we should just say fuckit, and stop being jews and just go to the gas chambers and make the burden on the world easier.

Are you Jewish?

That what the mohel told me, i'd hate to have made that sacrifice and not be.

[Ethel mermania]

Edit: It might also be helpful to recruit a 'prophet'. You know, someone to say that God told Him that a new temple in Miami is what He wants the Jews to build. I recommend former pro wrestler, Bill Goldberg. Who is going to call him a liar to his face?

Would be a better claimant than Jesus Christ I suppose.

Why? Jesus was a jew.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

But then who is going to run my favorite delicatessen?

The people who run it now, the Mexicans

Really?

We need to see more fusion cuisine then. Beef Brisket is phenomenal in tacos. *nod*

[Ethel mermania]

Would be a better claimant than Jesus Christ I suppose.

I suspect that a lot of the issues since then were Paul's fault.

I like Jesus just fine, it's Paul I have issues with.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

I suspect that a lot of the issues since then were Paul's fault.

I like Jesus just fine, it's Paul I have issues with.

Speaking as a Christian myself, I don't particularly care for Paul either. Most of his contributions to the New Testament are way overrated.

[The Tribe of Judah]

Would be a better claimant than Jesus Christ I suppose.

Why? Jesus was a jew.

The messiah will be born of human parents, not by the Pagan idea of gods impregnating humans (Virgin Birth) which also makes it impossible for Jesus to have been a direct descendant of King David on his fathers side, will adhere to all the commandments in the Hebrew Bible and will not contradict the word of G-d, whereas Jesus even fails to observe Shabbat (John 9:14) and in return some of Pharisees said, "This man Jesus is not from God, for he is working on the Sabbath", Jesus didn't construct the Third Temple, didn't bring the Jews back to Israel and didn't bring an end to suffering - oh and the messiah will not have superpowers. At least Bill Goldberg has Jewish ancestry, was born to human parents and doesn't have any superpowers.

Not to mention the fact that prophecy can only exist in Israel when the land is inhabited by the majority of the worlds Jews, and prophecy ended around 300BC, obviously a long time before Jesus showed up..

[Ethel mermania]

Why? Jesus was a jew.

The messiah will be born of human parents, not by the Pagan idea of gods impregnating humans (Virgin Birth) which also makes it impossible for Jesus to have been a direct descendant of King David on his fathers side, will adhere to all the commandments in the Hebrew Bible and will not contradict the word of G-d, whereas Jesus even fails to observe Shabbat (John 9:14) and in return some of Pharisees said, "This man Jesus is not from God, for he is working on the Sabbath", Jesus didn't construct the Third Temple, didn't bring the Jews back to Israel and didn't bring an end to suffering - oh and the messiah will not have superpowers. At least Bill Goldberg has Jewish ancestry, was born to human parents and doesn't have any superpowers.

Not to mention the fact that prophecy can only exist in Israel when the land is inhabited by the majority of the worlds Jews, and prophecy ended around 300BC, obviously a long time before Jesus showed up..

I said nothing about Jesus being the messiah. I said he was a jew.

[United Marxist Nations]

Would be fantastic if you didn't come on a Jewish discussion thread and mock our beliefs.

People get it, you're not religious and the idea of Holy Land means nothing to you. I am so happy for you, but do you have to express it in a way that really just ridicules numerous religious beliefs on a thread devoted to Jewish discussion.

Yes. I'm afraid I do. Please don't misunderstand me, this isn't out of some sort of disrespect for a particular religion(which I do not have). It isn't even about my general disrespect for organized religion(which I DO have). It's simply because I am a professional wacko incapable of taking anything seriously. But there is often a kernel of earnestness in my humor. In this example, I am honestly asking if there is a possibility that a religion that has had to adapt to serious changes in their status on more than one occasion(Enslavement by Egypt, Exodus, First Temple, Babylonian conquest, Second Temple, Roman Conquest, Crusades, Inquisition, World War 2, 2000 US Presidential Election, etc) could adapt once more. Construct a new Paradigm.

Historians strongly doubt the veracity of the bolded.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exodus#Historicity

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Yes. I'm afraid I do. Please don't misunderstand me, this isn't out of some sort of disrespect for a particular religion(which I do not have). It isn't even about my general disrespect for organized religion(which I DO have). It's simply because I am a professional wacko incapable of taking anything seriously. But there is often a kernel of earnestness in my humor. In this example, I am honestly asking if there is a possibility that a religion that has had to adapt to serious changes in their status on more than one occasion(Enslavement by Egypt, Exodus, First Temple, Babylonian conquest, Second Temple, Roman Conquest, Crusades, Inquisition, World War 2, 2000 US Presidential Election, etc) could adapt once more. Construct a new Paradigm.

Historians strongly doubt the veracity of the bolded.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exodus#Historicity

Yeah, so do I. But I saw no reason to make an issue of that. Benefit of the doubt. You know?

[United Marxist Nations]

Historians strongly doubt the veracity of the bolded.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exodus#Historicity

Yeah, so do I. But I saw no reason to make an issue of that. Benefit of the doubt. You know?

It's not that necessarily, I just take a bit of issue with it being put on a list of hardships faced by the Jewish people when the story itself is intended as a metaphor for the suffering of the Jewish people, and how the original Jewish national identity (which was later destroyed) was created, not as an account of historical events.

[Ethel mermania]

I fucking love when non jews tell me what my sacred books mean.

[Lunatic Goofballs]

Relevant: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=LGrlWOhtj3g

[The Tribe of Judah]

The messiah will be born of human parents, not by the Pagan idea of gods impregnating humans (Virgin Birth) which also makes it impossible for Jesus to have been a direct descendant of King David on his fathers side, will adhere to all the commandments in the Hebrew Bible and will not contradict the word of G-d, whereas Jesus even fails to observe Shabbat (John 9:14) and in return some of Pharisees said, "This man Jesus is not from God, for he is working on the Sabbath", Jesus didn't construct the Third Temple, didn't bring the Jews back to Israel and didn't bring an end to suffering - oh and the messiah will not have superpowers. At least Bill Goldberg has Jewish ancestry, was born to human parents and doesn't have any superpowers.

Not to mention the fact that prophecy can only exist in Israel when the land is inhabited by the majority of the worlds Jews, and prophecy ended around 300BC, obviously a long time before Jesus showed up..

I said nothing about Jesus being the messiah. I said he was a jew.

My original comment was in response to LG suggesting that a Prophet was chosen. And it was meant mainly in jest. I presumed in questioning my comment you were following on from the original statement.

[Benuty]

I fucking love when non jews tell me what my sacred books mean.

I know right?

Especially the fundamentalists.

[Benuty]

Yes. I'm afraid I do. Please don't misunderstand me, this isn't out of some sort of disrespect for a particular religion(which I do not have). It isn't even about my general disrespect for organized religion(which I DO have). It's simply because I am a professional wacko incapable of taking anything seriously. But there is often a kernel of earnestness in my humor. In this example, I am honestly asking if there is a possibility that a religion that has had to adapt to serious changes in their status on more than one occasion(Enslavement by Egypt, Exodus, First Temple, Babylonian conquest, Second Temple, Roman Conquest, Crusades, Inquisition, World War 2, 2000 US Presidential Election, etc) could adapt once more. Construct a new Paradigm.

Historians strongly doubt the veracity of the bolded.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Exodus#Historicity

Your history is irrelevant towards a metaphorical event .

[Ethel mermania]

I said nothing about Jesus being the messiah. I said he was a jew.

My original comment was in response to LG suggesting that a Prophet was chosen. And it was meant mainly in jest. I presumed in questioning my comment you were following on from the original statement.

That's fine, but you responded to my post.