Jewish Discussion Thread בְּ

[La Xinga]

According to Jewish law, a Jew should not teach the Torah to a non-jew unless that person is willing to become a ger.

Reason? I don't know, but I could guess:

1. The person has some connections with the government, and if he hears something he doesn't like he'll go to the Lord and tell him to kill Jews Chash Vesholem

2. Torah is pure, so can only be learned by Jews? i'm not sure about this one, probably the first answer.


In my family it's called a Muktzah goy!

It's a concept I never liked. I dont think the lord gave us something impossible to do without unpaid labor from the non jew

???

[Solomons Land]

So I've heard non jews cannot study the Torah? Is this true and why would this be true?

According to Jewish law, a Jew should not teach the Torah to a non-jew unless that person is willing to become a ger.

Reason? I don't know, but I could guess:

1. The person has some connections with the government, and if he hears something he doesn't like he'll go to the Lord and tell him to kill Jews Chash Vesholem

2. Torah is pure, so can only be learned by Jews? i'm not sure about this one, probably the first answer.

But now I realize, I'd be working every weekend.

I'll pass.

:(

In my family it's called a Muktzah goy!

Two things, first, there area a lot of different opinions involving this issue. Second, you meant a ger tzedek, not just any ger.

[La Xinga]

According to Jewish law, a Jew should not teach the Torah to a non-jew unless that person is willing to become a ger.

Reason? I don't know, but I could guess:

1. The person has some connections with the government, and if he hears something he doesn't like he'll go to the Lord and tell him to kill Jews Chash Vesholem

2. Torah is pure, so can only be learned by Jews? i'm not sure about this one, probably the first answer.


In my family it's called a Muktzah goy!

Two things, first, there area a lot of different opinions involving this issue. Second, you meant a ger tzedek, not just any ger.

????

[North Vazdania]

I hope everyone had a good Shavuis.

[La Xinga]

I hope everyone had a good Shavuis.

Did you?

[North Vazdania]

I hope everyone had a good Shavuis.

Did you?

B"H it went well!

[Menassa]

So I've heard non jews cannot study the Torah? Is this true and why would this be true?

It is not true. There have in the passed been issues with second century (and previous) pagans but there is no problem with the 'modern' gentile 'studying' the Torah.

As I write this Modern Gentile sounds like a decent name for a clothing/cosmetics line.

How do you call a shellfish that is not jewish?

a goyster

Matzah is called "the bread of affliction" since it was given to us by our captors in Egypt.

What do you call someone who takes pleasure in the bread of affliction?

A Matzahchist

[Menassa]

So I've heard non jews cannot study the Torah? Is this true and why would this be true?

According to Jewish law, a Jew should not teach the Torah to a non-jew unless that person is willing to become a ger.

Reason? I don't know, but I could guess:

1. The person has some connections with the government, and if he hears something he doesn't like he'll go to the Lord and tell him to kill Jews Chash Vesholem

2. Torah is pure, so can only be learned by Jews? i'm not sure about this one, probably the first answer.

That's not entirely true anymore.

[The Blaatschapen]

So I've heard non jews cannot study the Torah? Is this true and why would this be true?

It is not true. There have in the passed been issues with second century (and previous) pagans but there is no problem with the 'modern' gentile 'studying' the Torah.

As I write this Modern Gentile sounds like a decent name for a clothing/cosmetics line.

How do you call a shellfish that is not jewish?

a goyster

Matzah is called "the bread of affliction" since it was given to us by our captors in Egypt.

What do you call someone who takes pleasure in the bread of affliction?

A Matzahchist

It's always nice to see someone rise up to the challenge

Unlike their bread.

[La Xinga]

According to Jewish law, a Jew should not teach the Torah to a non-jew unless that person is willing to become a ger.

Reason? I don't know, but I could guess:

1. The person has some connections with the government, and if he hears something he doesn't like he'll go to the Lord and tell him to kill Jews Chash Vesholem

2. Torah is pure, so can only be learned by Jews? i'm not sure about this one, probably the first answer.

That's not entirely true anymore.

I wouldn't say you can change the Torah.

So I've heard non jews cannot study the Torah? Is this true and why would this be true?

It is not true. There have in the passed been issues with second century (and previous) pagans but there is no problem with the 'modern' gentile 'studying' the Torah.

As I write this Modern Gentile sounds like a decent name for a clothing/cosmetics line.

How do you call a shellfish that is not jewish?

a goyster

Matzah is called "the bread of affliction" since it was given to us by our captors in Egypt.

What do you call someone who takes pleasure in the bread of affliction?

A Matzahchist

And if he's money?

A MACHTIZIS HASHEKEL!

lol:

[Ethel mermania]

It's a concept I never liked. I dont think the lord gave us something impossible to do without unpaid labor from the non jew

???

A shabbos goy should not be necessary in order to be a sabbath compliant jew.

[La Xinga]

???

A shabbos goy should not be necessary in order to be a sabbath compliant jew.

I'm not sure what thou means by this.

[Solomons Land]

That's not entirely true anymore.

I wouldn't say you can change the Torah.

It is not true. There have in the passed been issues with second century (and previous) pagans but there is no problem with the 'modern' gentile 'studying' the Torah.

As I write this Modern Gentile sounds like a decent name for a clothing/cosmetics line.



Matzah is called "the bread of affliction" since it was given to us by our captors in Egypt.

What do you call someone who takes pleasure in the bread of affliction?

A Matzahchist

And if he's money?

A MACHTIZIS HASHEKEL!

lol:

What do you call beverages drunk by the Israelites?

Jewce

[Ethel mermania]

I was going to make a joke about jewish beer. However hebrews beer already exists.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shmaltz_Brewing_Company

[La Xinga]

I wouldn't say you can change the Torah.

And if he's money?

A MACHTIZIS HASHEKEL!

lol:

What do you call beverages drunk by the Israelites?

Jewce

what do you call a Jew that's orange?

ORANGE JUICE

[Auristania]

I was going to make a joke about jewish beer. However hebrews beer already exists.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Shmaltz_Brewing_Company

. heBREW

[Fahran]

Are we doing Jewish jokes again?

[Ethel mermania]

Are we doing Jewish jokes again?

Not good ones, no.

No one knows Myron cohen

[The Blaatschapen]

Are we doing Jewish jokes again?

Not good ones, no.

No one knows Myron cohen

Nor Max Tailleur

[The Blaatschapen]

But fine, here's an actual joke.

A tax inspector is visiting the synagogue. He asks the local rabbi, "I see you sell a lot of candles. What do you do with the left over candle wax". The rabbi answers "we collect it, send it to the manufacturer and once in a while they send us a free box of candles".

"Alright", says the tax inspector, disappointed that the question had such a practical answer. "I also see that you sell a lot of Matzos. What do you do with the bread crumbs?".

The rabbi, figuring that the tax inspector is trying to lure him into a trap, answers "we collect the crumbs, send them to the manufacturer and once in a while they send us a free box of matzos".

"I understand", says the tax inspector, quickly thinking to make it really hard for the rabbi.

"So, with the circumcisions, what do you with the foreskins?" asks the tax inspector.

"Ah", says the rabbi. "We collect those, send them to the tax office, and once in a while they send us a dick to inspect our books".

[La Xinga]

But fine, here's an actual joke.

A tax inspector is visiting the synagogue. He asks the local rabbi, "I see you sell a lot of candles. What do you do with the left over candle wax". The rabbi answers "we collect it, send it to the manufacturer and once in a while they send us a free box of candles".

"Alright", says the tax inspector, disappointed that the question had such a practical answer. "I also see that you sell a lot of Matzos. What do you do with the bread crumbs?".

The rabbi, figuring that the tax inspector is trying to lure him into a trap, answers "we collect the crumbs, send them to the manufacturer and once in a while they send us a free box of matzos".

"I understand", says the tax inspector, quickly thinking to make it really hard for the rabbi.

"So, with the circumcisions, what do you with the foreskins?" asks the tax inspector.

"Ah", says the rabbi. "We collect those, send them to the tax office, and once in a while they send us a dick to inspect our books".

LOL that's a good one. I know more stories than jokes. I actually know a joke, but it's probably not allowed on NSG.

[Ethel mermania]

Not good ones, no.

No one knows Myron cohen

Nor Max Tailleur

I didn't know him

[The Blaatschapen]

Nor Max Tailleur

I didn't know him

He was a Jewish-Dutch comedian. I talked to you about him before. I have a book with his jokes *somewhere* at my parents. My last trip there didn't yield any results in finding said book though

https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Tailleur

[La Xinga]

I didn't know him

He was a Jewish-Dutch comedian. I talked to you about him before. I have a book with his jokes *somewhere* at my parents. My last trip there didn't yield any results in finding said book though

https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Tailleur

Was he religious?

[Ethel mermania]

I didn't know him

He was a Jewish-Dutch comedian. I talked to you about him before. I have a book with his jokes *somewhere* at my parents. My last trip there didn't yield any results in finding said book though

https://nl.wikipedia.org/wiki/Max_Tailleur

I did do a quick wiki swiss internment camp, found a living in comedy later in life.