What are the limits of "Slut shaming?"

[Threlizdun]

No, I did say that you follow a worse book than them but I have not argued you are worse people. Christians, like most people, generally are good-natured and care for others. Nazis will always advocate horrendous things. I do not believe you are a monster, just your god.

Ah, so we're misguided people who follow a demon? Even better.

All of us are misguided at some point. I can't see how that's worse than being a Nazi.

I think that anybody would find reasons to take offense in the Mein Kampf/Bible argument and though I have nothing against you, I do really take offense, whatever intellectual meaning can be found in it is void when you enter the nazis into the equation because they are so stigmatized (as they should be).

And I would expect it to be offensive. I would take offense to such a statement as well if you used it against my beliefs, though it is the best comparison I can make to truly describe my utter contempt for the book.

[Vettrera]

Engaging in consensual sexual activty with people that want to experience minor degrees of pain while ensuring the safety of all parties involved and never pushing anyone outside what they are okay with doing makes me a terrible person? And then letting them do the same thing to me makes me...what, complacent in them being a terrible person?

It's literally called sadism, have we come to the point in this world where it's perfectly fine to be labeling oneself a sadist?
"Has the whole world gone crazy?"-Walter Sobchak

I wonder if God liked watching 6 million Jews die...

[Rebel America]

I think it is fine to have sex with others besides your partner (before/after you're with (in a relationship) with them, of course). Having sex with tons of people (by tons I mean 4+) in a small amount of time, in a relationship or not, is absolutely disgraceful.

Why is it disgraceful?

And why is it any of your business?

Disgraceful? Well, to go "onto the next" quickly doesn't seem very respectable, in my opinion.

It's not cool to blow through relationships quickly, going from person to person to person. The same goes for sexual relationships.

[Jumalariik]

Ah, so we're misguided people who follow a demon? Even better.

I think that anybody would find reasons to take offense in the Mein Kampf/Bible argument and though I have nothing against you, I do really take offense, whatever intellectual meaning can be found in it is void when you enter the nazis into the equation because they are so stigmatized (as they should be).

Well, at least you finally understand the argument.

I understood the argument, I just resented it.

[Neutraligon]

Limits? Fuck slut shaming all together.

I not sure that's physically possible, or desirable.

[Threlizdun]

Engaging in consensual sexual activty with people that want to experience minor degrees of pain while ensuring the safety of all parties involved and never pushing anyone outside what they are okay with doing makes me a terrible person? And then letting them do the same thing to me makes me...what, complacent in them being a terrible person?

It's literally called sadism, have we come to the point in this world where it's perfectly fine to be labeling oneself a sadist?
"Has the whole world gone crazy?"-Walter Sobchak

You didn't answer my question. When everyone is consenting and no harm is actually done, why would that make such individuals terrible people?

[Vettrera]

Why is it disgraceful?

And why is it any of your business?

Disgraceful? Well, to go "onto the next" quickly doesn't seem very respectable, in my opinion.

It's not cool to blow through relationships quickly, going from person to person to person. The same goes for sexual relationships.

But why should you shame them for it? What gives you the justification to act as if your morals should supercede theirs

[Jumalariik]

Ah, so we're misguided people who follow a demon? Even better.

All of us are misguided at some point. I can't see how that's worse than being a Nazi.

I think that anybody would find reasons to take offense in the Mein Kampf/Bible argument and though I have nothing against you, I do really take offense, whatever intellectual meaning can be found in it is void when you enter the nazis into the equation because they are so stigmatized (as they should be).

And I would expect it to be offensive. I would take offense to such a statement as well if you used it against my beliefs, though it is the best comparison I can make to truly describe my utter contempt for the book.

I feel quite condescended being thought as a "misguided monster follower" for obvious reasons, I'd rather be called a nazi, they can at least think for themselves.

[The Batorys]

People who say they hate a "liberal, politically correct world" are usually assholes.

And it's clear that you think of women as objects, not as people. You think of a woman who has had a sex life as "used goods." That is super fucked up and sexist.

Also, it's apparent that you either have never had sex, or are terrible at it. Virgins aren't particularly good at sex, whereas people who have had a fair amount of it very often are.

Also, a woman who has been in a relationship for the past two years has probably had a LOT more sex than a woman who is otherwise a very similar person, but has been single and having casual sex the past two years.

A better analogy would be the driver of a car, not the car itself. Seldom are people that great at driving when they start, but they get better with practice, though sometimes they can develop bad habits or grow complacent.

Someone isn't a better or worse driver if they've driven ten cars over the past ten years than if they've owned only one car for the past ten years, though. The first might know a bit more about maintenance, whereas the second one may have an easier time adjusting to a new car that's different from what they've driven before.

Yes, I am a virgin.

I am not sexist, nor do I view women as objects.

I never said that a women with a sex life is a used good. Perhaps, one with a broad sex life could be.

When I say that, I mean a girl that does more than three in a week, in a relationship or not.

My metaphor did not intend to make women and objects a comparison.

You just compared women with cars, saying how if they've been "driven" a lot, they have less value.

You may be young, given your ideas about relationships, so I'll try to be gentle.

That is a really, really sexist, fucked up thing to say.

Why is having more sex bad? Why is it bad to have sex more than three times in a week? During my last relationship, we did sometimes have sex three or more times during a week, and let me tell you, it was wonderful.

You seem to view sex as something dirty that devalues the person having it. I think that is a really messed up way to look at both sex and at people.

So you don't want to have sex until marriage (I would advise against this, because then on your wedding night you probably won't be any good at it... learning to have sex is much like any other skill; people usually don't start off being very good at it), and then only one to be with one person for the rest of your life. That's fine. That is your choice.

It's not anyone else's business.

But it's not your business, or anyone else's, if someone else makes a choice that is different, as long as they are respectful of everyone that choice involves.

Like I've said earlier, generally people have more sex when they're in a relationship and living with their partners. Simply because it's easier and nobody has to even leave the house to do it. The person they want to have sex with is already there.

[Vettrera]

All of us are misguided at some point. I can't see how that's worse than being a Nazi.

And I would expect it to be offensive. I would take offense to such a statement as well if you used it against my beliefs, though it is the best comparison I can make to truly describe my utter contempt for the book.

I feel quite condescended being thought as a "misguided monster follower" for obvious reasons, I'd rather be called a nazi, they can at least think for themselves.

Wait...But....That's not entirely accurate. Hell, that's mostly inaccurate.

[Jumalariik]

It's literally called sadism, have we come to the point in this world where it's perfectly fine to be labeling oneself a sadist?
"Has the whole world gone crazy?"-Walter Sobchak

You didn't answer my question. When everyone is consenting and no harm is actually done, why would that make such individuals terrible people?

The world's problems are caused by people deliberately making each other suffer. People who make others suffer deliberately go against the proper ideal of love, they are not bad people, what they do and like to engage in sexually is terrible and I may even say sick not to offend anybody...

[Threlizdun]

All of us are misguided at some point. I can't see how that's worse than being a Nazi.

And I would expect it to be offensive. I would take offense to such a statement as well if you used it against my beliefs, though it is the best comparison I can make to truly describe my utter contempt for the book.

I feel quite condescended being thought as a "misguided monster follower" for obvious reasons, I'd rather be called a nazi, they can at least think for themselves.

You still think for yourself; you have simply come to unfortunate conclusions. I've come to unfortunate conclusions in the past and have no doubt that I still hold highly flawed beliefs currently. It's ridiculous not to presume you're wrong about at least something you believe. Nazis have far less capacity for independent thought than most Christians.

[Vettrera]

You didn't answer my question. When everyone is consenting and no harm is actually done, why would that make such individuals terrible people?

The world's problems are caused by people deliberately making each other suffer. People who make others suffer deliberately go against the proper ideal of love, they are not bad people, what they do and like to engage in sexually is terrible and I may even say sick not to offend anybody...

Who's suffering? I'm really confused here.

[Jumalariik]

The world's problems are caused by people deliberately making each other suffer. People who make others suffer deliberately go against the proper ideal of love, they are not bad people, what they do and like to engage in sexually is terrible and I may even say sick not to offend anybody...

Who's suffering? I'm really confused here.

Pain is suffering, to cause pain is by definition to cause suffering. Sadism is by definition enjoying making others feel pain.

[Rebel America]

So, you're all okay with people have sex over and over with many different people in short amounts of time?

I'm asking for your opinion about others, not yourself. Don't pull that "it's not your business" card. If you don't want to tell me, don't.

Think of it this way:
You meet a nice person of your sexual (gender) preference while out with your friends. You get their number. Later, you go on a date. All goes well, you end up having sex. But then, you buddy texts you saying, "Hey, I saw [enter name here] having sex with another person in a car! I swear, it looks just like [enter name here]!
You confront your was-to-be lover and their excuse is that you're not in a relationship.

How does that make you feel?

[Neutraligon]

The world's problems are caused by people deliberately making each other suffer. People who make others suffer deliberately go against the proper ideal of love, they are not bad people, what they do and like to engage in sexually is terrible and I may even say sick not to offend anybody...

Who's suffering? I'm really confused here.

Oh good it isn't just me, I mean Threlizdun did mention consenting and actual harm.

[Neutraligon]

Who's suffering? I'm really confused here.

Pain is suffering, to cause pain is by definition to cause suffering. Sadism is by definition enjoying making others feel pain.

And some people enjoy feeling a pain while having sex. Again if they are consenting what is the problem, especially as there is no actual harm occurring.

[Rebel America]

We've miscommunicated.

I mean that having sex with multiple people many times in a short amount of time is bad. Having sex a few times in a week with the same partner is completely fine.

[Neutraligon]

So, you're all okay with people have sex over and over with many different people in short amounts of time?

I'm asking for your opinion about others, not yourself. Don't pull that "it's not your business" card. If you don't want to tell me, don't.

Think of it this way:
You meet a nice person of your sexual (gender) preference while out with your friends. You get their number. Later, you go on a date. All goes well, you end up having sex. But then, you buddy texts you saying, "Hey, I saw [enter name here] having sex with another person in a car! I swear, it looks just like [enter name here]!
You confront your was-to-be lover and their excuse is that you're not in a relationship.

How does that make you feel?

Depends, where we in a relationship that was supposed to be exclusive? If yes then I would probably dump them. If no, then what's the problem?

[The Batorys]

Rebel America never specified whether it was the sheer amount of sex, or the number of partners.

Someone with a long-term, steady partner, gets sex on the regular more than someone who isn't with such, generally. So the monogamous women are actually depreciating more, if it's the amount of sex.

Having a lot of sex with the same partner is fine, have at it.

Having a lot of sex with different people isn't okay. I don't say this meaning that if you do somebody at 18, but another person at 30 is bad, but if you have sex with two different people in the same week.

I guess you can have sex with two different people in the same week if you break up with the first one and have a good first date with the second?

Why is having sex with one person fine, and sex with several people bad?

As long as everyone is consenting, why is it bad to have sex with multiple people? I'm not talking about cheating here, I'm talking about casual sex and polyamory, and open relationships.

I've known a couple different women who have had two long-term partners. Why is it bad for one of them to have sex with both her boyfriends during the same week, but it's okay for another person to have goodbye sex with one partner, and sex with a new long-term partner during the same week?

You may find it gross, even, but that doesn't mean it's morally disgraceful. I find lots of things gross that I have no moral problem with (such as brussels sprouts and pickled herring... both of those gross me the fuck out, but it's not wrong for people to eat them, I just find it unappealing).

Just because you don't find something appealing, or maybe even wouldn't be comfortable doing it yourself, does not mean that it is "disgraceful" for other people to do. You're not them, and they're not you. There are lots of sexual practices that, quite frankly, do not appeal to me at all, but that I have no problem with other people partaking of, so long as all participants are consenting.

[Jumalariik]

Pain is suffering, to cause pain is by definition to cause suffering. Sadism is by definition enjoying making others feel pain.

And some people enjoy feeling a pain while having sex. Again if they are consenting what is the problem, especially as there is no actual harm occurring.

It will invariably decrease their self esteem. Nobody should enjoy pain, it's not natural or right.

[Threlizdun]

You didn't answer my question. When everyone is consenting and no harm is actually done, why would that make such individuals terrible people?

The world's problems are caused by people deliberately making each other suffer. People who make others suffer deliberately go against the proper ideal of love, they are not bad people, what they do and like to engage in sexually is terrible and I may even say sick not to offend anybody...

But they don't make people suffer. Everyone involves consents. One person consents to hurt the other because they experience pleasure from doing so and someone else consents to be hurt because they experience pleasure from pain. Many do both. If someone asks the other to stop, then they stop. I am disgusted by violence and seeing people have pain inflicted upon them when they did not consent to it. I have come close to being physically sick from such sights. Do not mistake my bedroom activities for my ethical views. I am still haunted by harm I have delivered to others from years ago even though they have repeatedly forgiven me. You argue that my comparison is insulting, but to associate my sexual desires with the desire to see people suffer is immensely insulting to me.

[Neutraligon]

And some people enjoy feeling a pain while having sex. Again if they are consenting what is the problem, especially as there is no actual harm occurring.

It will invariably decrease their self esteem. Nobody should enjoy pain, it's not natural or right.

Sauce? Since people are natural creatures, and some people enjoy pain it is natural. Why is it wrong, because you say so?

[Vettrera]

(a) So, you're all okay with people have sex over and over with many different people in short amounts of time?

I'm asking for your opinion about others, not yourself. Don't pull that "it's not your business" card. If you don't want to tell me, don't.

Think of it this way:
(b) You meet a nice person of your sexual (gender) preference while out with your friends. You get their number. Later, you go on a date. All goes well, you end up having sex. But then, you buddy texts you saying, "Hey, I saw [enter name here] having sex with another person in a car! I swear, it looks just like [enter name here]!
You confront your was-to-be lover and their excuse is that you're not in a relationship.

How does that make you feel?

(a) I would personally advise against it and say that they need to chill the fuck out.

(b) That's a pretty odd scenario. I probably would only have sex under two scenarios
1- It's a true one time thing
2- We've been committed for months/years

Ummm. I'd probably get myself tested for things. But I would have used protection.

[The Batorys]

Why is it disgraceful?

And why is it any of your business?

When did I say that it was my business?

I gave my opinion. I didn't ask for anyone else's.

When you say "that's disgraceful," you are implying that it is your business to comment on it and judge people for it.

If something is a personal matter, it's really none of your business, and that means not judging people or commenting.