Only Want to Date White Girls, is this Racist?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

You interpreted it precisely the way I meant it. Though, if it were for one or two here, we would certainly be forced to arrange marriages and such. Otherwise you would, at the very least, be seen as a racist hater who thinks other are disgusting and some public policy should be taken against you.

I admit that I'd like to marry a woman without worrying about racial tensions and differences, and that we can both live happy because we click, not because the people around us think that "ew, a Latino dating someone from our race?! Icky, shun them!" (It happens, and it's a pervasive point of view in certain areas of society, sadly.).

Now, that I should be forced to marry someone? That's where I draw the line. I shouldn't be forced to marry someone against my will.

[Mavorpen]

On Nigeria on the other hand, lol. Excuse my lack of diplomacy. They do it because of sheer stupidity, [...]

Yeah, those stupid black people, eh?

Here's a hint: no, they don't do it because of "sheer stupidity." They do it because the men have been conditioned to believe that light skin=beautiful, which drives women in Nigeria to purchase skin lightening cream or they won't be considered beautiful.

[NAROLA-II]

In the same vein, everyone does have higher and lower priorities in dating, yes, but that doesn't mean that these values do not correspond to someone's social view of the world. If you are raised thinking racism is okay and is okay to discriminate against blacks and that whoever dates a black person is a traitor, that's most certainly racist. When it comes to preferences, to just say "I prefer to date white women who are redheads" is different than saying "I will never date black women because black women are icky". You see what I'm saying? I am NOT saying preferences are not okay, I am saying preferences based on racism are NOT Okay.

I agree with you on this last paragraph. Absolutely, it can correspond to someone's view (and it most likely is, for everyone) and it's also wrong to base it on a racist assumption just like the one you wrote on "icky".

On the other hand, it's impossible to choose anyone without discriminating or even being racist. Racism and discrimination are terms, if you take them too serious you miss the point. To choose implies accepting one and discarding all the others. That is discrimination, but the important thing is that you are doing nothing wrong. If you are choosing based on race, if given the opportunity, you are being racist even if you choose "the different one". You are choosing with base on race, therefore racism. If you are doing it out of preference and not based on the actual harmful thing we use the term racism for mostly, then it's nothing wrong and that's enough.

Ultimately, especially with themes this polemical, people can interpret it the way they want. What matters is what you really like and making decisions based on good thinking and not any kind of generalization

[Soldati Senza Confini]

On Nigeria on the other hand, lol. Excuse my lack of diplomacy. They do it because of sheer stupidity, [...]

Yeah, those stupid black people, eh?

Here's a hint: no, they don't do it because of "sheer stupidity." They do it because the men have been conditioned to believe that light skin=beautiful, which drives women in Nigeria to purchase skin lightening cream or they won't be considered beautiful.

I wonder if women also don't buy into this. That they teach their daughters and sons that light skin = beautiful.

It would be interesting to see if it is a cycle or just a fad of the generation.

[Mavorpen]

Yeah, those stupid black people, eh?

Here's a hint: no, they don't do it because of "sheer stupidity." They do it because the men have been conditioned to believe that light skin=beautiful, which drives women in Nigeria to purchase skin lightening cream or they won't be considered beautiful.

I wonder if women also don't buy into this. That they teach their daughters and sons that light skin = beautiful.

It would be interesting to see if it is a cycle or just a fad of the generation.

I haven't read anything concerning that. Personally, I would say that with women, it's more than likely the ones who are famous that influences it. For example, the singer Dencia that sells a skin cream:



Frankly, I think she looks better with darker skin.

[NAROLA-II]

On Nigeria on the other hand, lol. Excuse my lack of diplomacy. They do it because of sheer stupidity, [...]

Yeah, those stupid black people, eh?

Here's a hint: no, they don't do it because of "sheer stupidity." They do it because the men have been conditioned to believe that light skin=beautiful, which drives women in Nigeria to purchase skin lightening cream or they won't be considered beautiful.

Yeah, some black people are damn stupid. Just like the white people in my country who go to the point of skin cancer to be tanned or like some asians who make horrible things to their bodies to be of a certain height. I'm sorry but I can't see as intelligent 77% of people putting poison on their skin to "look hip". That's not aimed at any nigerian who is not like that, though.

Here's a hint: we are conditioned to do stupid things everytime. People gain money on it. The store owner down the street? B*tch you bet many of them would like you to believe their bullshit so you would by more of them. Thing is, stupid people will buy onto stupid things. People with some brain will see those attempts and laugh. If we go down the route of conditioning explaining everything, racists are just conditioned poor things that should be loved and don't have any fault at this.

At last. please don't start saying they are conditioned, because this is not the 50s anymore and people who are born in racist homes are very frequently against racism. People born in societies where there is low racism do become racist by their own decision as well. Conditioning only goes so far.

[Mavorpen]

Yeah, some black people are damn stupid. Just like the white people in my country who go to the point of skin cancer to be tanned or like some asians who make horrible things to their bodies to be of a certain height. I'm sorry but I can't see as intelligent 77% of people putting poison on their skin to "look hip". That's not aimed at any nigerian who is not like that, though.

Except, it isn't to look "hip." It's to attract men who have been conditioned to believe that light skin=attractive. You're failing to grasp the issue.

Here's a hint: we are conditioned to do stupid things everytime. People gain money on it. The store owner down the street? B*tch you bet many of them would like you to believe their bullshit so you would by more of them. Thing is, stupid people will buy onto stupid things. People with some brain will see those attempts and laugh. If we go down the route of conditioning explaining everything, racists are just conditioned poor things that should be loved and don't have any fault at this.

So where'd you get YOUR psychology degree? Which psychologist has told you that people who fall to social conditioning are stupid and only stupid people without brains fall for it?

I can't wait for this.

At last. please don't start saying they are conditioned.

Sorry, I won't stop stating facts because you ask me to.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Yeah, those stupid black people, eh?

Here's a hint: no, they don't do it because of "sheer stupidity." They do it because the men have been conditioned to believe that light skin=beautiful, which drives women in Nigeria to purchase skin lightening cream or they won't be considered beautiful.

Yeah, some black people are damn stupid. Just like the white people in my country who go to the point of skin cancer to be tanned or like some asians who make horrible things to their bodies to be of a certain height. I'm sorry but I can't see as intelligent 77% of people putting poison on their skin to "look hip". That's not aimed at any nigerian who is not like that, though.

Where do you live?!

I know for certain I wouldn't try to tan after 18 years of not tanning if I couldn't tan (I can tan, but that's besides the point).

[Soldati Senza Confini]

I wonder if women also don't buy into this. That they teach their daughters and sons that light skin = beautiful.

It would be interesting to see if it is a cycle or just a fad of the generation.

I haven't read anything concerning that. Personally, I would say that with women, it's more than likely the ones who are famous that influences it. For example, the singer Dencia that sells a skin cream:



Frankly, I think she looks better with darker skin.

The darker skin certainly does accentuate her features much better. With white skin she looks... odd.

[Mavorpen]

I haven't read anything concerning that. Personally, I would say that with women, it's more than likely the ones who are famous that influences it. For example, the singer Dencia that sells a skin cream:



Frankly, I think she looks better with darker skin.

The darker skin certainly does accentuate her features much better. With white skin she looks... odd.

She's an example of an extreme case.

On the bright side, she's had quite a lot of people expressing disdain over it.

[Forsher]

Having not bothered to read the thread (or, for that matter, the OP since the thread was much smaller) I do not think it is racist to date only "white girls" provided one doesn't find any other "races" attractive. I think this is a highly unlikely scenario because I find one typically evaluates attractiveness based on a particular individual's traits... which invariably means that there are individuals in groups one doesn't usually veer towards that one is attracted to. There's no active racism here but legacies of racist thought quite likely do play a part. Personally, I would like to entirely dismiss the notion that I find some groups, on average, less attractive than others because of my cultural context* in favour of the greater likelihood of their individual's particular combination of features being less Forsher-attractive but I can't.

Of course, if one were attracted to someone and refused to date them because of their membership of a given ethnic group that would be active racism. Same thing if one was opposed to one's children dating members of such groups (you get this all the time from a variety of ethnicities).

Also, I am definitely not racist because none of my best friends are black.** Now, if you'd excuse me I have to dispose of a wasp.

*New Zealand... and my family has been here for a long time in the maternal line (my father was an immigrant, as was my maternal grandfather).

**To be fair, I do know very few and this is a joke. My friends tend to be either NZ European or NZ Asian (incl. those of Indian descent)... some without either of the NZs.

[NAROLA-II]

Except, it isn't to look "hip." It's to attract men who have been conditioned to believe that light skin=attractive. You're failing to grasp the issue.

Even worse then. They do this even if they don't like. Anyone a bit smarter wouldn't do it even if conditioned, just like most women avoid being so underweight that they risk their lifes, inspite conditioning.

Men are being just as dumb liking that.

You don't see this kind of thing in places more recognized by their good education system, for instance, do you?

So where'd you get YOUR psychology degree? Which psychologist has told you that people who fall to social conditioning are stupid and only stupid people without brains fall for it?

I can't wait for this.

I'm the kind of guy to believe more what I see than what a stupid subsidized, full of secondary interests study has to say. Though my degree is more into that than what you might think. I've studied those subjects more than a standard, parroting, wikipedia graduate in "being progressive".

I've seen it and studied to see this is just another theory, played by political interests and economical interests more than it's played by truth. It's only the other side of determinism. Both are contested inside and outside their environments and the simple wish to see things for what they are is often much more revealing than them.

People who buy into such stupid things aren't conditioned most of the times, they are deliberate into making stupidity. They would just as well paint their skin black the next week if that became the new fad, which opposes conditioning.

If conditioning explained everything after all, what's the point discussing this? Who would be right or wrong? Makes no sense, it's just an excuse mostly...

At last. please don't start saying they are conditioned.

Sorry, I won't stop stating facts because you ask me to.[/quote]

Where do you live?!

I know for certain I wouldn't try to tan after 18 years of not tanning if I couldn't tan (I can tan, but that's besides the point).

You don't wanna know. (Actually I won't tell you to not further damage the reputation we have )

[NAROLA-II]

Except, it isn't to look "hip." It's to attract men who have been conditioned to believe that light skin=attractive. You're failing to grasp the issue.

Even worse then. They do this even if they don't like. Anyone a bit smarter wouldn't do it even if conditioned, just like most women avoid being so underweight that they risk their lifes, inspite conditioning.

Men are being just as dumb liking that.

You don't see this kind of thing in places more recognized by their good education system, for instance, do you?

So where'd you get YOUR psychology degree? Which psychologist has told you that people who fall to social conditioning are stupid and only stupid people without brains fall for it?

I can't wait for this.

I'm the kind of guy to believe more what I see than what a stupid subsidized, full of secondary interests study has to say. Though my degree is more into that than what you might think. I've studied those subjects more than a standard, parroting, wikipedia graduate in "being progressive".

I've seen it and studied to see this is just another theory, played by political interests and economical interests more than it's played by truth. It's only the other side of determinism. Both are contested inside and outside their environments and the simple wish to see things for what they are is often much more revealing than them.

People who buy into such stupid things aren't conditioned most of the times, they are deliberate into making stupidity. They would just as well paint their skin black the next week if that became the new fad, which opposes conditioning.

If conditioning explained everything after all, what's the point discussing this? Who would be right or wrong? Makes no sense, it's just an excuse mostly...

At last. please don't start saying they are conditioned.

Sorry, I won't stop stating facts because you ask me to.[/quote]

Where do you live?!

I know for certain I wouldn't try to tan after 18 years of not tanning if I couldn't tan (I can tan, but that's besides the point).

You don't wanna know. (Actually I won't tell you to not further damage the reputation we have )

[Mavorpen]

Even worse then. They do this even if they don't like. Anyone a bit smarter wouldn't do it even if conditioned, just like most women avoid being so underweight that they risk their lifes, inspite conditioning.


Men are being just as dumb liking that.

I just love the pseudo-intellectual bullshit here. Thank goodness you aren't pursuing a degree in psychology.

I do wish though that psychology could be dealt with by just splitting people into two groups: stupid and not stupid.

You don't see this kind of thing in places more recognized by their good education system, for instance, do you?

Yes, you do. In fact, even the upper and middle class who have access to better schools have this problem.

I'm the kind of guy to believe more what I see than what a stupid subsidized, full of secondary interests study has to say.

So we shouldn't take you seriously. Got it.

Let me know when you want to actually engage in an intellectual discussion instead of pseudoscience and just plain ignorant nonsense.

[United Marxist Nations]

Out of curiosity (to see if it affects our views), what sorts if traits do we all prefer? I want to see if they correlate with races. Also how our culture impacts it.

Mine are all over the place, I seem to prefer blonde and black hair along with a light to tanned complexion; I also like thin, noses. Most women I've seen that I've been attracted to were white, but lots of middle Easterners (particularly Turks) and Asians attract me; however , I've only been attracted to a few black women.

Edit: I'm a white American raised in an upper-middle income background.

[Mavorpen]

Out of curiosity (to see if it affects our views), what sorts if traits do we all prefer? I want to see if they correlate with races.

Mine are all over the place, I seem to prefer blonde and black hair along with a light to tanned complexion; I also like thin, noses. Most women I've seen that I've been attracted to were white, but lots of middle Easterners (particularly Turks) and Asians attract me; however , I've only been attracted to a few black women.

Similar interests.

[Torisakia]

It's not racist, some people just think it's racist because: not wanting to date someone different than you = WASSIS N BIGGUT.

[Geilinor]

It's not racist, some people just think it's racist because: not wanting to date someone different than you = WASSIS N BIGGUT.

That's not what's going on. The argument is "not wanting to date girls of a certain race at all because you think their skin color inherently makes them unattractive is racist".

[Torisakia]

It's not racist, some people just think it's racist because: not wanting to date someone different than you = WASSIS N BIGGUT.

That's not what's going on. The argument is "not wanting to date girls of a certain race at all because you think their skin color inherently makes them unattractive is racist".

Oh. Well I'm right quite fucked, aren't I?

[Mavorpen]

That's not what's going on. The argument is "not wanting to date girls of a certain race at all because you think their skin color inherently makes them unattractive is racist".

Oh. Well I'm right quite fucked, aren't I?

Only if you're a white girl.

[Torisakia]

Oh. Well I'm right quite fucked, aren't I?

Only if you're a white girl.

I'm close enough.

Wait, no I'm not. I'm against dating. Oh well.

[Wikipedia and Universe]

I'm coming up with the beginnings of a theory here. There seems to be a disconnect between what the thread is about and what people think the thread is about, and this may account for the vast majority of the intense and unending argument here, not to mention pretty much all the strawman arguments. I'm not above it, as I was just as much of a dupe to it as anyone else here.

Here's what the OP apparently asked about: Categorical refusal to date anyone but white girls, not even entertaining the thought of dating folks of other ethnicities. The phrase "only want to date white girls" implies some sort of personal policy.

Here's what most people, myself included, thought they were defending: Happenstance attraction only to light skinned people; likely conditioned by Eurocentric beauty norms, but not immoral nor really the fault of the individual. For example, while I try to keep an open mind, I happen to find myself sexually attracted almost exclusively to Caucasians, with some exceptions (though the rate of exceptions for me has increased in recent years). I'm aware that this is probably the result of being raised with Eurocentric beauty standards, and while I don't feel compelled to force changes upon my sexual proclivities, I'm open to the possibility of becoming more attracted to people of color in the future.

I don't know which of these things the OP actually meant, but it appears to state the former. The thread was about willingness to date people, but many in this thread proceeded as though the debate concerned sexual attraction alone.

If my observations are correct, this may show how a poorly-written OP can ruin an entire discussion, with no one realizing it until it's too late.

[Zaldakki]

I'm coming up with the beginnings of a theory here. There seems to be a disconnect between what the thread is about and what people think the thread is about, and this may account for the vast majority of the intense and unending argument here, not to mention pretty much all the strawman arguments. I'm not above it, as I was just as much of a dupe to it as anyone else here.

Here's what the OP apparently asked about: Categorical refusal to date anyone but white girls, not even entertaining the thought of dating folks of other ethnicities. The phrase "only want to date white girls" implies some sort of personal policy.

Here's what most people, myself included, thought they were defending: Happenstance attraction only to light skinned people; likely conditioned by Eurocentric beauty norms, but not immoral nor really the fault of the individual. For example, while I try to keep an open mind, I happen to find myself sexually attracted almost exclusively to Caucasians, with some exceptions (though the rate of exceptions for me has increased in recent years). I'm aware that this is probably the result of being raised with Eurocentric beauty standards, and while I don't feel compelled to force changes upon my sexual proclivities, I'm open to the possibility of becoming more attracted to people of color in the future.

I don't know which of these things the OP actually meant, but it appears to state the former. The thread was about willingness to date people, but many in this thread proceeded as though the debate concerned sexual attraction alone.

If my observations are correct, this may show how a poorly-written OP can ruin an entire discussion, with no one realizing it until it's too late.

If we could +1 posts, I would +1 yours.

[Infected Mushroom]

I'm coming up with the beginnings of a theory here. There seems to be a disconnect between what the thread is about and what people think the thread is about, and this may account for the vast majority of the intense and unending argument here, not to mention pretty much all the strawman arguments. I'm not above it, as I was just as much of a dupe to it as anyone else here.

Here's what the OP apparently asked about: Categorical refusal to date anyone but white girls, not even entertaining the thought of dating folks of other ethnicities. The phrase "only want to date white girls" implies some sort of personal policy.

Here's what most people, myself included, thought they were defending: Happenstance attraction only to light skinned people; likely conditioned by Eurocentric beauty norms, but not immoral nor really the fault of the individual. For example, while I try to keep an open mind, I happen to find myself sexually attracted almost exclusively to Caucasians, with some exceptions (though the rate of exceptions for me has increased in recent years). I'm aware that this is probably the result of being raised with Eurocentric beauty standards, and while I don't feel compelled to force changes upon my sexual proclivities, I'm open to the possibility of becoming more attracted to people of color in the future.

I don't know which of these things the OP actually meant, but it appears to state the former. The thread was about willingness to date people, but many in this thread proceeded as though the debate concerned sexual attraction alone.

If my observations are correct, this may show how a poorly-written OP can ruin an entire discussion, with no one realizing it until it's too late.

very interesting...

You make the following claim.

Here's what the OP apparently asked about: Categorical refusal to date anyone but white girls, not even entertaining the thought of dating folks of other ethnicities. The phrase "only want to date white girls" implies some sort of personal policy.

and yet if you read the OP you will find in a very clearly set out paragraph with the following statement...

See theoretically if a ''non-white'' girl were to have on balance the extremely attractive features of the girls I'm into I wouldn't exclude her (though at that point is she still a ''non-white''?). Its not that I set out to mark people of other races as somehow inferior or to treat them differently, I'm simply born with a certain preference for how people look...

I think this really makes it quite clear.

If my observations are correct, this may show how a poorly-written OP can ruin an entire discussion, with no one realizing it until it's too late.

And it is my observation that people profit from reading the entire OP.

[Infected Mushroom]

I'm coming up with the beginnings of a theory here. There seems to be a disconnect between what the thread is about and what people think the thread is about, and this may account for the vast majority of the intense and unending argument here, not to mention pretty much all the strawman arguments. I'm not above it, as I was just as much of a dupe to it as anyone else here.

Here's what the OP apparently asked about: Categorical refusal to date anyone but white girls, not even entertaining the thought of dating folks of other ethnicities. The phrase "only want to date white girls" implies some sort of personal policy.

Here's what most people, myself included, thought they were defending: Happenstance attraction only to light skinned people; likely conditioned by Eurocentric beauty norms, but not immoral nor really the fault of the individual. For example, while I try to keep an open mind, I happen to find myself sexually attracted almost exclusively to Caucasians, with some exceptions (though the rate of exceptions for me has increased in recent years). I'm aware that this is probably the result of being raised with Eurocentric beauty standards, and while I don't feel compelled to force changes upon my sexual proclivities, I'm open to the possibility of becoming more attracted to people of color in the future.

I don't know which of these things the OP actually meant, but it appears to state the former. The thread was about willingness to date people, but many in this thread proceeded as though the debate concerned sexual attraction alone.

If my observations are correct, this may show how a poorly-written OP can ruin an entire discussion, with no one realizing it until it's too late.

If we could +1 posts, I would +1 yours.

It DOESN'T go like this...

''I will only date Whites. Anyone who is non-White will automatically, immediately, and categorically be excluded from all possibility of dating... I don't care how attractive they are, I may even fall in love with them... but TOO BAD because they are not White.''

It goes more like this.

''I have only found White people attractive in my life thus far and so chances are, I will only be dating White girls for the rest of my life (but maybe not). However, as of now, based on my personal experiences, I only want to date White girls. This may change but based on my past experiences and responses, likely not.''

The discussion is about whether or not the second situation is racist, thus far, it has been my observation that most of the posts have been on topic.