The Dating thread

[Arkinesia]

You won't find 90% of them attractive on those sites.

And the ones you do find attractive know already they have TONS of opportunities, so, don't go in with the expectation to find your significant other unless it's for casual sex and you have a decent size bearing going on.

Depends on male vs female, what website you use, etc.

Generally speaking, if you're a guy under the age of 25, you're going to have a harder time finding someone interested in a LTR who isn't crazy, because most girls aren't looking to settle down until they start looking for guys over 25.

If you're a gal over the age of 30, you're going to struggle disproportionately to find someone interested in a LTR who isn't crazy, because a lot of guys have stopped looking, and you're competing with younger women for the rest of them.

Basic reason for that is that we have a social norm that more or less excludes older female / younger male couples, so if you're a young man or an old woman, dating life is pretty rough. There are plenty of exceptions, and my most constructive piece of advice is to join a club where there are plenty of men and women who share common interests. E.g., my college fencing club resulted in an exceptionally large number of marriages.

Online dating can actually work out. How easy it is depends on your gender, how good your photographs are, etc. I've known a number of people to get married to someone they met on OKC. Generally speaking, for someone your age, I am of the opinion that women have it a lot easier than men when it comes to online dating, but it's not an easy button even for women.

I don't see it as an easy button. I see it as a potential alternative due to a distinct lack of good opportunities in my current pool.

[Tahar Joblis]

I don't see it as an easy button. I see it as a potential alternative due to a distinct lack of good opportunities in my current pool.

It certainly is. I've met some wonderful folks through OKC over the years, including when I was about your current age. (And some not so wonderful folks, as well.)

Just saying it's still a bit of work

[Whitton World]

OK, so something completely different here; for once not a discussion on heavyweight political issues, the U.S., Islam or anything controversial, but a topic that's pretty much more rooted in everyday life; dating.

Granted, mine hasn't exactly been good, but this thread isn't a "let's-moan-about-our-dating-life" type thing, it's a discussion on it.

As it is, my attempts in the past have never worked; I've always ended up remaining friends with the individual in question ("friendzone" is a little too clichéd a word here) or they've nearly always been taken, or lived too far away from me. (Well, I can't drive, for medical reasons I won't go into here).

Anyhow, I've decided to reboot my dating confidence (excuse the cliché but it's apt in this case!) and start being more proactive about it; in the past I'd let opportunities slip by being too involved with other things or work and travel.

Either way, I've started to look at the different options about dating; online dating I've ruled out (too much risk financially/safety-wise, malware and spam risks) and am looking at different activities as a way of meeting people. Work is too risky anyway.

I am disabled, not physically (I have a neurological condition), so that probably makes it a bit harder.

This thread is open, whatever your orientation; hetero- , homosexual, transsexual, LGBT, I don't

It is a minefield, so good luck. Just don't be too good or you'll end up married and that might just as well be the end of life.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

OK, so something completely different here; for once not a discussion on heavyweight political issues, the U.S., Islam or anything controversial, but a topic that's pretty much more rooted in everyday life; dating.

Granted, mine hasn't exactly been good, but this thread isn't a "let's-moan-about-our-dating-life" type thing, it's a discussion on it.

As it is, my attempts in the past have never worked; I've always ended up remaining friends with the individual in question ("friendzone" is a little too clichéd a word here) or they've nearly always been taken, or lived too far away from me. (Well, I can't drive, for medical reasons I won't go into here).

Anyhow, I've decided to reboot my dating confidence (excuse the cliché but it's apt in this case!) and start being more proactive about it; in the past I'd let opportunities slip by being too involved with other things or work and travel.

Either way, I've started to look at the different options about dating; online dating I've ruled out (too much risk financially/safety-wise, malware and spam risks) and am looking at different activities as a way of meeting people. Work is too risky anyway.

I am disabled, not physically (I have a neurological condition), so that probably makes it a bit harder.

This thread is open, whatever your orientation; hetero- , homosexual, transsexual, LGBT, I don't

It is a minefield, so good luck. Just don't be too good or you'll end up married and that might just as well be the end of life.

Marriage is the end of life? What?

[Ceannairceach]

It is a minefield, so good luck. Just don't be too good or you'll end up married and that might just as well be the end of life.

Marriage is the end of life? What?

It isn't even an end to a dating life. Lots of married couples go on plenty of dates. I never understood the defeatist look at marriage, myself.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Marriage is the end of life? What?

It isn't even an end to a dating life. Lots of married couples go on plenty of dates. I never understood the defeatist look at marriage, myself.

I know, hence my question to Whitton World.

[Divair2]

OK, so something completely different here; for once not a discussion on heavyweight political issues, the U.S., Islam or anything controversial, but a topic that's pretty much more rooted in everyday life; dating.

Granted, mine hasn't exactly been good, but this thread isn't a "let's-moan-about-our-dating-life" type thing, it's a discussion on it.

As it is, my attempts in the past have never worked; I've always ended up remaining friends with the individual in question ("friendzone" is a little too clichéd a word here) or they've nearly always been taken, or lived too far away from me. (Well, I can't drive, for medical reasons I won't go into here).

Anyhow, I've decided to reboot my dating confidence (excuse the cliché but it's apt in this case!) and start being more proactive about it; in the past I'd let opportunities slip by being too involved with other things or work and travel.

Either way, I've started to look at the different options about dating; online dating I've ruled out (too much risk financially/safety-wise, malware and spam risks) and am looking at different activities as a way of meeting people. Work is too risky anyway.

I am disabled, not physically (I have a neurological condition), so that probably makes it a bit harder.

This thread is open, whatever your orientation; hetero- , homosexual, transsexual, LGBT, I don't

It is a minefield, so good luck. Just don't be too good or you'll end up married and that might just as well be the end of life.

Sounds like somebody's jealous.

[Wikipedia and Universe]

I'm currently trying online dating. I have an account, but I haven't taken the opportunity to put anything on it. (I've answered an assload of survey questions, though, which is easy to do on a mobile device.) I don't plan to message anyone until I actually have something to offer (It's nice to have a general overview of a person, but there are also things people need to know about me before I start hitting them up.), so I have nothing to report in the way of "luck" in terms of corresponding with people. In terms of actually finding people in my lurk sessions whom I plan to contact, I have my eye on three regular users as of this writing.

In skimming the thread, I noticed there's some discussion of online dating and its pros and cons. I'm definitely in one of the purported disadvantaged zones (younger guys), being an 18-year-old guy (the youngest age possible there). As such, my search parameters are set only for people in the 18-19 range, as I'm not bothering with ludicrous pipe-dreams. Of course, this isn't the only piece of the puzzle, and is thus not a magic bullet. While this is a small age range taken from a demographic less likely to use online dating, this isn't actually a lonely age range. Nevertheless, while there are plenty of so-called "matches" in this range, lots of people obviously does not equal lots of genuine matches. I generally avoid Christists and uber-hippie types, which cuts a fairly deep swath through my results. Throw in distance considerations, my own miscellaneous personal proclivities, and an honest take on whether or not a given person would have any interest in me, and it becomes less surprising why there are only three users I have my eye on.

[Grenartia]

I've had a few online relationships (all through here, so far). None of them really worked out, but they weren't as bad as any of my attempts IRL (either the person wasn't interested, or, in the case of my ex, were freaking crazy, and not in any good way).

[Meryuma]

I've been in a wonderful relationship for almost 7 months now. I've never loved a boy before as much as I love him. There's some bumpiness coming up that he isn't aware of yet, but I know we'll be able to work it out in the end.

I rec ently got friendzoned hard.

No matter.There are more fish in the sea and her friends are cute.

This "zone" model of relationships is a cultural myth that amounts to a straight male entitlement complex.

I dun told that thar teachin' lady that only womyn I need is muh very own cousin.

[kidding]

"Womyn" makes you sound like a radical feminist. "Wimmin" is the proper hick spelling.

So you were led on, basically? I feel for you, friend. =(

More like I led myself on. It really was my own fault. A word of advice is to never go after someone who has feelings for or is in a relationship with someone else, no matter how justified you think it is. Never works out right.

I'm in a similar situation myself, but I'm the taken one. The nuances of the scenario make it pretty stressful.

[Grenartia]

This "zone" model of relationships is a cultural myth that amounts to a straight male entitlement complex.

I really fail to see how. All it does is point out that everybody has certain zones that they place people in, with regards to which interactions they are and are not willing to engage in with that person. I really fail to see how it equates to "I R STR8 MAN! I ENTITLED TO FUCK ANY WIMMIN!"

[Ceannairceach]

I'm in a similar situation myself, but I'm the taken one. The nuances of the scenario make it pretty stressful.

It was hard for the girl in my situation as well. If it helps to know how it played out for her, they got back together after we broke up, but according to her the relationship is probably going to end sooner rather than later. So take that as you will. Either way, if you do end up choosing the newer suitor, be sure to enforce a downtime between relationships. A good majority of the problems in my experience rose from feelings that didn't go away because she didn't have the time to get over them.

[Tahar Joblis]

This "zone" model of relationships is a cultural myth that amounts to a straight male entitlement complex.

Bullshit. Knock off the story-telling. The narrative that saying "friendzone" situations are male entitlement situations is a cultural myth that has gained some recent popularity, but it's not a terribly accurate myth.

The "friend zone" situation happens to both men and women; and describes a range of situations from the mutually awkward to the deviously manipulative. Stop belittling the experiences of others because of your mythology and ideology.

[God Kefka]

It is a minefield, so good luck. Just don't be too good or you'll end up married and that might just as well be the end of life.

Marriage is the end of life? What?

I'll just add my subjective experience. Which is that 100% of the marriages I have witnessed at a slightly close inspection in my life have been unhappy...

[Ordinary People]

Marriage is the end of life? What?

It isn't even an end to a dating life. Lots of married couples go on plenty of dates. I never understood the defeatist look at marriage, myself.

"Settling down" is not at all what I want to do if and when I get married. I mean, yeah, we wouldn't move much, but we'd find new stuff to do together, new places to go, new friendships... all of which would evolve and change our relationship, hopefully for the better.

I sincerely hope that my wedding day will also be remarkable for being the day in our marriage that I love my spouse the least.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

This "zone" model of relationships is a cultural myth that amounts to a straight male entitlement complex.

Bullshit. Knock off the story-telling. The narrative that saying "friendzone" situations are male entitlement situations is a cultural myth that has gained some recent popularity, but it's not a terribly accurate myth.

The "friend zone" situation happens to both men and women; and describes a range of situations from the mutually awkward to the deviously manipulative. Stop belittling the experiences of others because of your mythology and ideology.

No, it isn't always a cultural myth. Some men do believe they're entitled to having every girl they like to say yes to them and get pissed and resentful when the woman doesn't see them as dating material, and friend-zones them.

Ditto with some women. Stop saying it's a myth.

[The Grim Reaper]

maybe it's just a misunderstanding and everyone means something different by friendzone

can't we all learn to love each other?

I think everyone on this thread has the capacity to put aside their differences and come together as a happy, friendly community for just one day.

(happy belated april fools)

mantis shrimp says that the friendzone has merit as describing in colloquial terms a fairly broad idea of being rejected by someone whom you have a cordial friendship with, as long as you don't use that to draw specific conclusions about how friendship affects 'dating potential' or w/e bullshit as a broad stroke on the idea of being 'friendzoned'

[Ceannairceach]

maybe it's just a misunderstanding and everyone means something different by friendzone

can't we all learn to love each other?

I think everyone on this thread has the capacity to put aside their differences and come together as a happy, friendly community for just one day.

(happy belated april fools)

mantis shrimp says that the friendzone has merit as describing in colloquial terms a fairly broad idea of being rejected by someone whom you have a cordial friendship with, as long as you don't use that to draw specific conclusions about how friendship affects 'dating potential' or w/e bullshit as a broad stroke on the idea of being 'friendzoned'

I think the mantis shrimp is just trying to deceive us before he uses his deathsticks to mutilate us using, what is it, fifteen hundred newtons of force?

A word of advice to everyone: don't date a mantis shrimp. They may look charming and colorful on the outside, but on the inside, they are pure, murderous, technicolor spawn of Satan.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

maybe it's just a misunderstanding and everyone means something different by friendzone

can't we all learn to love each other?

I think everyone on this thread has the capacity to put aside their differences and come together as a happy, friendly community for just one day.

(happy belated april fools)

mantis shrimp says that the friendzone has merit as describing in colloquial terms a fairly broad idea of being rejected by someone whom you have a cordial friendship with, as long as you don't use that to draw specific conclusions about how friendship affects 'dating potential' or w/e bullshit as a broad stroke on the idea of being 'friendzoned'

I think the mantis shrimp is just trying to deceive us before he uses his deathsticks to mutilate us using, what is it, fifteen hundred newtons of force?

That's one straight up kung-fu shit right there.

[The Grim Reaper]

I think the mantis shrimp is just trying to deceive us before he uses his deathsticks to mutilate us using, what is it, fifteen hundred newtons of force?

each of mantis shrimp's deathsticks are more date-able than butterdisc fobwatch

ladies

[Ceannairceach]

I think the mantis shrimp is just trying to deceive us before he uses his deathsticks to mutilate us using, what is it, fifteen hundred newtons of force?

That's one straight up kung-fu shit right there.

They are so swift they boil water in their wake. Don't date a mantis shrimp; they pack a hell of a punch, but they're finished in a minute.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

That's one straight up kung-fu shit right there.

They are so swift they boil water in their wake. Don't date a mantis shrimp; they pack a hell of a punch, but they're finished in a minute.

Not to mention they dress like an idiot. But, in a fight, it would be good to have mantis shrimp as an ally. Heck, mantis shrimp in a duel for your SO's honor... priceless.

[Ceannairceach]

They are so swift they boil water in their wake. Don't date a mantis shrimp; they pack a hell of a punch, but they're finished in a minute.

Not to mention they dress like an idiot. But, in a fight, it would be good to have mantis shrimp as an ally. Heck, mantis shrimp in a duel for your SO's honor... priceless.

True, but sadly, the mantis shrimp does not have allies; only prey, future prey, and dinner.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Not to mention they dress like an idiot. But, in a fight, it would be good to have mantis shrimp as an ally. Heck, mantis shrimp in a duel for your SO's honor... priceless.

True, but sadly, the mantis shrimp does not have allies; only prey, future prey, and dinner.

Oh, mantis shrimp is like my ex. A one track mind creature. Hohoho!

Dating a sloth, now that's the life.

[The Grim Reaper]

Not to mention they dress like an idiot. But, in a fight, it would be good to have mantis shrimp as an ally. Heck, mantis shrimp in a duel for your SO's honor... priceless.

True, but sadly, the mantis shrimp does not have allies; only prey, future prey, and dinner.

we're predators in the sack