The Dating thread

[Soldati Senza Confini]

THe being alone is a bitch, on the other hand I don't have to go through relationship issues.

See, I feel the same way, except it feels like being alone is worse.

I've managed to become soberly accepting of the idea.

Nowadays I enjoy flirting with women, I want a relationship, but I admit the fact I'm alone more graciously.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Well, yes, but take for instance my worst relationship ever: an alcoholic, seizure-happy person with a temper and very jealous and possessive. Besides trying to take care that she took her meds (and stopped her alcohol and smoking per doctor's orders) I had to take in her constant arguing and jealousy including snooping around my computer files because of her insecurity about men.

I want a relationship, not a case for a psychologist. IN other words, someone who I can feel I'm safe from the world, not someone I dread getting together with.

That person has severe issues, and yes, you don't have to subject yourself to that. But honestly, those cases are not as common as finding more levelheaded people. And even levelheaded people have issues too. The difference is in how you deal with your issues. Don't take it out on your partner. Don't make your issues the focus of your relationship. Learn to deal.

You're talking with someone who knows and understands not to lash out at my partner because of my issues

I talk, I communicate to my partners what's wrong with me so they don't encounter nasty surprises. I feel they have a right to know what's bothering me, but without making it the focus of a relationship. Just, like I tell my partners "shit happens, just because it happened doesn't mean I'll bring you down with me".

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

That person has severe issues, and yes, you don't have to subject yourself to that. But honestly, those cases are not as common as finding more levelheaded people. And even levelheaded people have issues too. The difference is in how you deal with your issues. Don't take it out on your partner. Don't make your issues the focus of your relationship. Learn to deal.

You're talking with someone who knows and understands not to lash out at my partner because of my issues

I talk, I communicate to my partners what's wrong with me so they don't encounter nasty surprises. I feel they have a right to know what's bothering me, but without making it the focus of a relationship. Just, like I tell my partners "shit happens, just because it happened doesn't mean I'll bring you down with me".

That wasn't specifically directed at you. I know how infinate your patience is. I do.

It's good to be open with your partner. What's not ok is to make emotional issues the sole center of a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be so one sided.

[Soldati Senza Confini]

You're talking with someone who knows and understands not to lash out at my partner because of my issues

I talk, I communicate to my partners what's wrong with me so they don't encounter nasty surprises. I feel they have a right to know what's bothering me, but without making it the focus of a relationship. Just, like I tell my partners "shit happens, just because it happened doesn't mean I'll bring you down with me".

That wasn't specifically directed at you. I know how infinate your patience is. I do.

It's good to be open with your partner. What's not ok is to make emotional issues the sole center of a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be so one sided.

Thank you ^_^

And yes, emotional issues shouldn't be the sole focus. To be fair, sometimes with some partners I've felt like my feelings have been pushed aside in lieu of comforting them, and I get what you're saying.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

That wasn't specifically directed at you. I know how infinate your patience is. I do.

It's good to be open with your partner. What's not ok is to make emotional issues the sole center of a relationship. Relationships shouldn't be so one sided.

Thank you ^_^

And yes, emotional issues shouldn't be the sole focus. To be fair, sometimes with some partners I've felt like my feelings have been pushed aside in lieu of comforting them, and I get what you're saying.

I had a partner like that. It felt like I was his shrink. It can get overwhelming.

[The Greater Aryan Race]

I had a partner like that. It felt like I was his shrink. It can get overwhelming.

Sounds a lot like my last "relationship". I was her partner, shrink, guidance counsellor and human encyclopaedia all rolled into one. And what makes it stink even more was that I really wanted to help her get over her problems, and not being able to do anything when she was going through a rough patch was really hard to stomach...

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

I had a partner like that. It felt like I was his shrink. It can get overwhelming.

Sounds a lot like my last "relationship". I was her partner, shrink, guidance counsellor and human encyclopaedia all rolled into one. And what makes it stink even more was that I really wanted to help her get over her problems, and not being able to do anything when she was going through a rough patch was really hard to stomach...

And it's ok to help them. I admire that. I like to help my husband when he feels down. I just think there are healthy levels of it. Everything in excess has negative drawbacks.

[Rocopurr]

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate and be open about problems with your partner better?

[Soldati Senza Confini]

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate with your partner better?

IN which regard?

COmmunication, I think, boils down to be tactful when you want something to change and to be considerate of your partner's feelings about the issue.

It's one thing sitting them down and talk to them about things than to scream at them at open lung. It applies to both men and women.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate and be open about problems with your partner better?

There's no code. Just be open. Talk about things, situations, when they arise. Talking is well, it.

[Rocopurr]

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate and be open about problems with your partner better?

There's no code. Just be open. Talk about things, situations, when they arise. Talking is well, it.

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate with your partner better?

IN which regard?

COmmunication, I think, boils down to be tactful when you want something to change and to be considerate of your partner's feelings about the issue.

It's one thing sitting them down and talk to them about things than to scream at them at open lung. It applies to both men and women.

That makes sense, thank you.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

There's no code. Just be open. Talk about things, situations, when they arise. Talking is well, it.

IN which regard?

COmmunication, I think, boils down to be tactful when you want something to change and to be considerate of your partner's feelings about the issue.

It's one thing sitting them down and talk to them about things than to scream at them at open lung. It applies to both men and women.

That makes sense, thank you.

It's easier than some think. It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon.

[Ethel mermania]

Would any of you wise folks have advice on how to communicate and be open about problems with your partner better?

HEY, we need to talk, always works,

if you want the relationship ship to continue a bout of sex before and after the talk always helps.

[Ethel mermania]

That makes sense, thank you.

It's easier than some think. It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon.

the important bit is bolded for your convenience. If you cant communicate in a relationship there is no point in it. Now that is not to say you have to talk all the time, you can have lots of silence, but you cant be afraid to communicate with your partner

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

It's easier than some think. It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon.

the important bit is bolded for your convenience. If you cant communicate in a relationship there is no point in it. Now that is not to say you have to talk all the time, you can have lots of silence, but you cant be afraid to communicate with your partner

Roco's or mine?

[Ethel mermania]

the important bit is bolded for your convenience. If you cant communicate in a relationship there is no point in it. Now that is not to say you have to talk all the time, you can have lots of silence, but you cant be afraid to communicate with your partner

Roco's or mine?

yourz this bit right here words of wisdom


"....It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon."

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Roco's or mine?

yourz this bit right here words of wisdom


"....It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon."

Ok. My bad. I'm rather groggy.

[Ethel mermania]

yourz this bit right here words of wisdom


"....It really doesn't involve anything more complicated than the willingness to talk, when things are going well or when they're going bad. If your partner can't do that, there's trouble in the horizon."

Ok. My bad. I'm rather groggy.

so your smarter when groggy?

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Ok. My bad. I'm rather groggy.

so your smarter when groggy?

Not sure.

I'm just well, I have my moments I guess.

Anyway, yes, talk. That's key. As you said, it's not that you have to a chatterbox, but talking to solve conflict is good for a relationship. And openness... allow me to add that although you don't have to like the same things, trying to be involved and interested in what your partner likes is also good. It shows your willingness to participate, even if the hobby/like isn't your cup of tea.

[Ethel mermania]

so your smarter when groggy?

Not sure.

I'm just well, I have my moments I guess.

Anyway, yes, talk. That's key. As you said, it's not that you have to a chatterbox, but talking to solve conflict is good for a relationship. And openness... allow me to add that although you don't have to like the same things, trying to be involved and interested in what your partner likes is also good. It shows your willingness to participate, even if the hobby/like isn't your cup of tea.

shared interests, but also separate ones you have to give your partner the space to be who they are as well as the couple that the two of you are.

[Nanatsu no Tsuki]

Not sure.

I'm just well, I have my moments I guess.

Anyway, yes, talk. That's key. As you said, it's not that you have to a chatterbox, but talking to solve conflict is good for a relationship. And openness... allow me to add that although you don't have to like the same things, trying to be involved and interested in what your partner likes is also good. It shows your willingness to participate, even if the hobby/like isn't your cup of tea.

shared interests, but also separate ones you have to give your partner the space to be who they are as well as the couple that the two of you are.

Yup, allow individuality. :]

[Rocopurr]

Not sure. :p

I'm just well, I have my moments I guess.

Anyway, yes, talk. That's key. As you said, it's not that you have to a chatterbox, but talking to solve conflict is good for a relationship. And openness... allow me to add that although you don't have to like the same things, trying to be involved and interested in what your partner likes is also good. It shows your willingness to participate, even if the hobby/like isn't your cup of tea.

shared interests, but also separate ones you have to give your partner the space to be who they are as well as the couple that the two of you are.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I've never dated and am laughably ignorant when it comes to relationships.

[Ethel mermania]

shared interests, but also separate ones you have to give your partner the space to be who they are as well as the couple that the two of you are.

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. I've never dated and am laughably ignorant when it comes to relationships.

always happy to help someone with a cat in the flag and "purr" in the name

[Meryuma]

It's time for another good news, bad news.

Good news: I got the phone number of one of the cutest boys I've ever met. We've had a subtext for a while in this class and everything seemed to go better than expected last weekend.
Bad news: I may or may not ever actually hear from him again, and he's also recently started dating a girl (he's bi). If he doesn't contact me, I'll never see him again.

[The Greater Aryan Race]

It's time for another good news, bad news.

Good news: I got the phone number of one of the cutest boys I've ever met. We've had a subtext for a while in this class and everything seemed to go better than expected last weekend.
Bad news: I may or may not ever actually hear from him again, and he's also recently started dating a girl (he's bi). If he doesn't contact me, I'll never see him again.

Have you considered asking him out?