Masculinity. What does it mean to be a man?

[Greater-London]

I think the topic of masculinity and what it means to be a man is something that doesn't often get talked about, especially by men. With the fading away of traditional gender roles and stereotypes I think people in the 21st century have a hard task of defining what it means to act in a manly way.

So I ask you NSG what does you think it means to be manly? are traditional notions of what it means to be a man relevant in the 21st century? going on from this I would ask is understanding what it means to be a man or 'masculinity' important or is it something that we can do away with?

I for one think its important that we have some sort of broad idea of what it means to be a man, I think that its the lack of understanding that makes young men in the UK atleast at the highest risk of suicide. I also think that it would be beneficial to have a broad sense of manliness to counterbalance 21st century hyper-masculinity and 'lad culture'.

Over to you ..

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I self-classify as epicene - i.e. I reject the notion that my [weak gender] identity follows my society's notions of masculinity [but I am not properly feminine either] -, but I can't actually give a label to it that seems fully appropriate.

Regardless it is an important discussion.

When people speak of manly attitudes, do they more particularly oppose them from what is held as effeminate or manchildish?

[Prince of Conti]

Being strong, virile and self-reliant...that's what it means to be a man...

Real men don't take kindly to threats or insults and we're always ready for a fight...

We're also aesthetically better than women...

[Nervium]

Well, to crush my enemies, see them driven before me, and hear the lamentation of the women mostly.



I don't really care for masculinity.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Being strong, virile and self-reliant...that's what it means to be a man...

Real men don't take kindly to threats or insults and we're always ready for a fight...

We're also aesthetically better than women...

What separates manly men from the children, the women, the childish men and the effeminate men? Are these categories necessarily rigid, or they have a continuum of blurred tones?

[Imperial Gearria]

I have a pretty traditional concept of what being a man means. And as for the 'Modern Concept'...I am not even sure there is one.

[Ifreann]

These threads are great. It's always fun to see what silly things people hang their masculine identity on.

[Spoder]

This very much depends on who is saying it.
I believe that it means being fairly strong, tall, imposing, intelligent.
It also means having a man's face, and well...y'know.
Having a bass voice too, and taking interest in toys like cars, and guns.

[Nua Corda]

I find that machismo and masculinity are usually compensating for something.

[Prince of Conti]

Being strong, virile and self-reliant...that's what it means to be a man...

Real men don't take kindly to threats or insults and we're always ready for a fight...

We're also aesthetically better than women...

What separates manly men from the children, the women, the childish men and the effeminate men? Are these categories necessarily rigid, or they have a continuum of blurred tones?

They're not real men...They're all just a bunch of sissies...

Except for the boys. they can become men if they're raised properly...

[Nervium]

These threads are great. It's always fun to see what silly things people hang their masculine identity on.

Lol, hang on.

Get it?

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Except for the boys. they can become men if they're raised properly...

It was tried on me.

Didn't work. I refused every single bit of it. Mainly the traditional, but the otherwise too in part.

Don't act like there isn't transgender people, and like we aren't normal when you realize you can't deny our existence.

[Ifreann]

This very much depends on who is saying it.
I believe that it means being fairly strong, tall, imposing, intelligent.
It also means having a man's face, and well...y'know.
Having a bass voice too, and taking interest in toys like cars, and guns.

If you think those things are toys, you shouldn't be allowed to own them.

---

What separates manly men from the children, the women, the childish men and the effeminate men? Are these categories necessarily rigid, or they have a continuum of blurred tones?

They're not real men...They're all just a bunch of sissies...

Except for the boys. they can become men if they're raised properly...

I can tell you're going to be a valuable addition to this community.

---

These threads are great. It's always fun to see what silly things people hang their masculine identity on.

Lol, hang on.

Get it?

...no...

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I find that machismo and masculinity are usually compensating for something.

I can't judge. I'm not within the heads of cis people to understand them.

The concept of boys doing something inappropriate for their age just because their father did and it was a gendered activity in which he was their role model was always something very alien to me. Even when I thought there was something wrong about how I felt.

[New Connorstantinople]

Well...

I always grew up with some key values and beliefs to uphold as a young man. I was expected to be extra polite to my elders and women, but to be polite to everyone as a whole. It was alright if I swore amongst other men, but never in front of my elders or women. If I witnessed wrongdoing, such as bullying or perhaps a crime where I had the ability to intervene, I was expected to help the weak. While this cannot be applied to everyone, as beliefs differ, I was expected to love God. Respect others beliefs and demand they respect yours. (Credit to Zero Dark Thirty for the last line).

Be kind. Be strong.

[Prince of Conti]

Except for the boys. they can become men if they're raised properly...

It was tried on me.

Didn't work. I refused every single bit of it. Mainly the traditional, but the otherwise too in part.

Don't act like there isn't transgender people, and like we aren't normal when you realize you can't deny our existence.

There are a lot of "transgender people" around yes...

but I wouldn't call them normal..no

Also, what a shame...you should be ashamed of admitting this over the internet...

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

It was alright if I swore amongst other men, but never in front of my elders or women.

Eh, this is news. In Brazil there is plenty of different values about curses and some of them are rigid, but this is the first time I heard of sex-segregated rules. What is so special about what is in-between one's lower limbs? I will never understand.

[Ifreann]

It was tried on me.

Didn't work. I refused every single bit of it. Mainly the traditional, but the otherwise too in part.

Don't act like there isn't transgender people, and like we aren't normal when you realize you can't deny our existence.

There are a lot of "transgender people" around yes...

but I wouldn't call them normal..no

Also, what a shame...you should be ashamed of admitting this over the internet...

Funny, I was thinking something similar about the attitude you're expressing.

---

Well...

I always grew up with some key values and beliefs to uphold as a young man. I was expected to be extra polite to my elders and women, but to be polite to everyone as a whole. It was alright if I swore amongst other men, but never in front of my elders or women. If I witnessed wrongdoing, such as bullying or perhaps a crime where I had the ability to intervene, I was expected to help the weak. While this cannot be applied to everyone, as beliefs differ, I was expected to love God. Respect others beliefs and demand they respect yours. (Credit to Zero Dark Thirty for the last line).

Be kind. Be strong.

Do tell, why should we expect any different from women? Should they not be polite? Should they not help the victims of wrongdoing where they can? Etc.

[New Edom]

I think the topic of masculinity and what it means to be a man is something that doesn't often get talked about, especially by men. With the fading away of traditional gender roles and stereotypes I think people in the 21st century have a hard task of defining what it means to act in a manly way.

So I ask you NSG what does you think it means to be manly? are traditional notions of what it means to be a man relevant in the 21st century? going on from this I would ask is understanding what it means to be a man or 'masculinity' important or is it something that we can do away with?

I for one think its important that we have some sort of broad idea of what it means to be a man, I think that its the lack of understanding that makes young men in the UK atleast at the highest risk of suicide. I also think that it would be beneficial to have a broad sense of manliness to counterbalance 21st century hyper-masculinity and 'lad culture'.

Over to you ..

I think that the suicide rate of young men, the sense of confusion about purpose that many young men feel is a very real concern. I've given this a lot of thought.

Men seem to be at their best when they have a sense of purpose, when they are driven by character, and when they pursue a sense of clarity about life. It is a masculine virtue to recognize the difficulties you are facing and nevertheless take responsibility for your actions in response. Masculine virtues include things like loyalty, courage, and the pursuit of wisdom.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

Also, what a shame...you should be ashamed of admitting this over the internet...

I don't like being fat, or lazy, or a person who doesn't like to do many things for my own future sake.

I am fond of my peculiar characteristics as a human being that are an inherent component to my sense of self, just like you probably are about your own sense of masculinity, and I am proud of them when people start to act like there is something of negative to them.

So no, I will never see how.

[New Connorstantinople]

It was alright if I swore amongst other men, but never in front of my elders or women.

Eh, this is news. In Brazil there is plenty of different values about curses and some of them are rigid, but this is the first time I heard of sex-segregated rules. What is so special about what is in-between one's lower limbs? I will never understand.

Not really rules, just beliefs I was taught at a young age. It just consider unclassy, really, and it's looked down upon in many a group.

[Degenerate Heart of HetRio]

I think that the suicide rate of young men, the sense of confusion about purpose that many young men feel is a very real concern. I've given this a lot of thought.

Men seem to be at their best when they have a sense of purpose, when they are driven by character, and when they pursue a sense of clarity about life. It is a masculine virtue to recognize the difficulties you are facing and nevertheless take responsibility for your actions in response. Masculine virtues include things like loyalty, courage, and the pursuit of wisdom.

I obviously agree, but I think you are forgetting a particular point.

People are PEOPLE above being X or Z or XZ or Y or 0.

What is so special about it affecting men in particular?

[Ovisterra]

I've always been a member of the "whatever the fuck you want it to mean" camp.

[Greater-London]

I obviously agree, but I think you are forgetting a particular point.

People are PEOPLE above being X or Z or XZ or Y or 0.

What is so special about it affecting men in particular?

Whilst there is nothing special about men intrinsically, young men are more likely to commit suicide than any other group. So it makes sense to think about the problems affecting them and how they can be solved because as a rule they aren't spoken about. Especially among men.

[The House of Zyy]

I believe masculinity is simply not allowing others to dominate you or those you feel responsible for. As for who is allowed to be masculine, I do not believe it matters.

now if we move into Bdsm...